PBP: Week 3- Bathing

Random information: my husband likes long hair, and I prefer my hair shorter, and so we compromise, I get to dye it if I grow it out. Okay, it's kind of an in joke, he would let me do whatever I like, though he will definitely complain louder the shorter my hair gets. I don't like the longer hair, mainly because it is a hassle. I love that when I have short hair I can pretty much towel it off and it is dry, I don't have to 'do' anything with it, it doesn't get in my face (or give me a headache when I put it up). I do miss having the ability to fidget with it, or to try fancy things (for me fancy is braiding it!) when it is short, but if it were just me I'd keep it short. However I know hubby loves it long, so right now it's just past my shoulders. I'm thinking about dying it blue!

But back to the topic at hand, one of the things that I groan at with longer hair is that it takes more time every day to maintain. Brushing, washing, drying...I have to schedule my bathing around how long it will take my hair to dry. So I must shower at least 2 hours before I want to sleep, preferably more. Yes, I do own a hairdryer, but I hate using it and only do when it is absolutely necessary. And just the process of washing it takes longer. And I noticed, while I was washing up one day, that I sometimes sort of dread shower time, because it feels like such a monotony.

Which gave me a moment of weirdness. I view bathing as one of the best ways to prep for ritual. A ritual bath really does put me in the right headspace, as well as getting rid of random stuff from regular life that may be going around in my head. I am also a big fan of baths in general, and anytime I find myself feeling really ragged or off balance, I turn to a soak in the tub to restore my equilibrium. Even showering (though not as good in my book as a bath) can be a big aid. A really hot shower is my go-to for headaches that just won't go away.

So why is it that the shower isn't looked upon more as a daily personal ritual? I have done some work with daily showering before, and it is definitely something I would like to work more with. I have read a lot of lovely bath and shower cleansing visualizations, and don't see why they should be reserved for just ritual prep.

Every day we pick up junk from the world around us: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We know that it is important to wash off the dirt, so why not take that time where we are already focused on cleansing to really give the rest of our self the same service.

Water is definitely where I turn for cleansing. One of the first things I do when I come home after being out of the house is wash my hands. Sometimes I know I have touched things that might be physically dirty (especially at the grocery store or thrift stores), but even when I haven't I still feel like I need to run them under water and wash away anything I might have come into contact with. I wash my face upon rising and before I go to bed, in as icy cold water as I can get to come out of the tap. In the morning it definitely invigorates me and gets me going, but at night it serves to wash away the cares of the day and go to sleep with a clean slate.

When we stand under the water in the shower, we can easily envision any negativity that might be clinging to us being sucked down the drain. Take that time to go over your day, and think about what happened to you. If you got into a fight with someone at work, or got cut off and yelled at by some random person while driving, think about it and focus on how it makes you feel. Be with those feelings for a moment, and try to see where on your body they are clinging. And then let them be washed away by the water. If they are particularly stubborn, you can scrub them away as you soap up.

Another thing I like to do is to charge my soap (and shampoo/conditioner). Whatever I feel I may need in the next day, or just blessings I might want in my life. While holding the soap in your hands, focus on the energy you want to bring into your life. Or you can use the soap as a form of shielding (which I do a lot, especially when I know I am going to be in a lot of public places the next day), infusing it with a protective energy. As you wash, feel the energy soaking into your body, and covering every inch of you.

Finally, take a moment to just stand under the water and breath. Sometimes I like to duck my head under the shower and let it fall on me like rain. Sometimes I prefer to have it hit the back of my neck. Take several deep breaths and let yourself really be in this moment of stillness and relaxation. I am a big fan of stillness, sometimes it seems like my life is just busy moment after busy moment (and how frustrating is that when you look back at your 'busy' day and realize you did a lot of movement but didn't get a lot done!). Taking some time every day to just enjoy the moment can be very rejuvenating.

PBP- Week 2: Absolution

One of the things that I find somewhat aggravating is people who will talk your ear off about how devout they are in their faith, and yet much of their practice is all talk and no substance. Especially when it comes to following the tenants or rules of their belief. I know that everyone has different levels of what works for them when it comes to faith. For some, simple belief is enough, they feel it in their hearts and that fulfills them. I am fine with this! But if you are going to tell me that you follow certain rules, then follow them.

How does absolution relate? One of the things that I find absolutely ridiculous is using a concept like absolution of sin as an excuse for why it is okay to break the rules. I have seen a lot of people do this with the concept of Confession. They think that they can do whatever they want, go to confession, do a minimal penance, and all those things they did are now magically erased.

I am fully okay with people making mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. Sometimes, I find myself even thinking “wow, I shouldn't be doing this” WHILE I am doing something, and yet don't manage to pull myself to a stop. It is a failing I am aware of, one I am working on improving on, and one I know I have a long way to go to master.

Life isn't simple. Sometimes we are faced with bad choices. Not just a hard choice between what we might want (like that piece of cheesecake) and what we know is right (like sticking to the diet so we can drop those excess pounds we don't want to have), but a really bad choice (like the choice between seriously hurting someone else or letting them seriously hurt you). And sometimes we have to make selfish choices. Sometimes it is the right thing to tell our loved ones that we can't do the things they want us to do because we need time for ourselves (and yes, needing relaxing 'me' time is a necessity, even if all I do with it is take a bath or watch tv).

And sometimes we choose to make bad decisions. I think there is a fine line of distinction here. Choosing poorly, but with knowledge is different, in my book, then trying to justify a bad choice with excuses. If I decide to have that extra drink, knowing full well it will put me over my limit, that is a bad choice. If I make it knowing that it might lead me to making other stupid choices because I am now drunk, it is still a choice to take that drink (or the several drinks that took me to the limit in the first place). I am still the one making this choice. The minute I pick up my glass, I am loosing my right to come back the next day and expect people to forgive me for whatever dumb stuff I did drunk “because I couldn't help myself, I was drunk”.

No one is required to forgive you for anything you do. People who care about you will probably forgive you for quite a lot...the more they care for you, the more forgiving they can be. Most people do have a line though, that no matter how much they care about you, they just can't forgive certain things.

Now, in my path, there is no priest who will absolve me of my sins (well and sins aren't exactly part of my path either). I don't feel that my gods are keeping some kind of tally sheet and giving or taking away points for things I do (and does that ever sound like a Hogwarts house point analogy...). I answer to myself. I hold myself up to certain standards. And when I don't meet those standards, it is me who meets out the punishment (often in feelings of inadequacy or shame).

So how does absolution fit into this path? Well in the reverse way that it often fits into other paths. I don't feel that I need less absolution, sometimes I feel I need more. My innate tendencies are to really dwell on my mistakes. When I trip or stumble, I will rehash the event in my mind, over and over. It can be very hard for me to let go of things.

I definitely feel this is because I hold myself to a higher standard, not because I feel I am better than anyone else, but rather because I often know exactly why I failed. When someone else makes a mistake, I never know for certain if it was because they were having a bad day, because they just didn't feel like putting forth more effort or if they truly tried their utmost and just couldn't manage. With myself, I know what happened, and if it was in any way my fault, it can be hard to forgive myself and let go of those past failings.

And I think letting go of mistakes is very important. It is hard to move forward, when you are constantly looking back, and even harder when every time you look back you remind yourself of how you failed.

So how do you make absolution a part of your life without making it a convenient excuse for everything? I believe this comes through mindful attention, honest assessment and heartfelt expression.

We must pay attention to what we do. Most of the ways in which I regularly fail are when I act without thinking first. Habits can be truly deadly to proper living. You must also be mindful to be aware of when you have faltered.

This leads right into assessment. Sometimes, things truly are out of your control, but many times we like to turn a blind eye to our own involvement. I don't accept “I didn't think about it,” as an excuse from myself. But the other half of honest assessment is to really look at how involved you truly were. It is very easy to start laying the blame heavily on yourself, and sometimes it wasn't all (or at all) our fault.

The final piece is to acknowledge what was done. This can be as simple as admitting to yourself what you did, or it can mean talking to other people who were also effected. It can involve actions to help correct what happened, or simply to try to show others that your mistake isn't how you truly feel. The key here is that they really have to be from the heart...empty gestures are exactly that: empty.

Sometimes we all need a little absolution, but seek it from the right source and in the right way.

PBP- Week 1- Ancestry

I thought this would be a good way to start the year (and project!) off....by looking back at my roots. Family is important to me, and knowing where I come from gives me the base of identity that helps me face every day. However, I take a pretty broad view on Family and ancestry both.

Biologically, I am half Chinese, half Caucasian (a pretty good mix of European ancestry). My grandfather (on the Caucasian side) was interested in ancestry, and so I have seen some of the extensive family trees, and in fact wrote down what I thought were particularly interesting names when I went to visit him.

But I also lived for many years in Hawaii, where the idea of a Calabash family is common. Your Calabash family is people who are close to your heart, but not related to you in any way (by blood or marriage). I definitely have people who have become part of my family that aren't related in any traditional way.

A term I have heard used before, and that I love, is spiritual ancestry. I definitely feel a spiritual connection to places and cultures that I don't have strong blood ties to. I don't feel these connections are any less solid than the ones that I am blood tied to.

For me, ancestry is a map that leads us to our roots. We can follow it back, person by person, or influence by influence and see where our current attitudes and values trace back to. It can help us understand why certain things move us so powerfully or perhaps why we have a tendency to do particular things.

What I don't accept is using ancestry as an excuse for why you lack or fail in some way. Of course, there are physical limitations. If your whole family is under five foot tall, then sure, that is a reason why you might need a stool to get something off a top shelf (but not a reason why you should let the top shelf get the better of you!). However, saying that because I am part Chinese I can't drive well.....that is just prejudiced and lazy.

I also don't accept using ancestry as a way to exclude people. I definitely thing there are things that are much easier to understand if you were raised in a particular community. There are cultural qualities that may seem strange from an outside perspective. But this is very much an experience thing, and not a blood thing. Even though I am half Chinese, I wasn't raised in the Chinese culture, and much of my experiences with Chinese beliefs are from an outsiders perspective. I do understand that even if you grew up smack dab in the middle of a cultural hotspot, if you aren't a member of that culture, you may still be 'on the outside' when it comes to certain cultural concepts, but again, this is not a physical thing that is keeping you from it but a societal thing.

I get a bit cranky when people tell me that I can't develop a relationship with particular gods because my ancestors aren't directly linked to them (or even worse, because not enough of my ancestors are directly linked to them). I personally think that is between me and the gods. If they want to work with me, they will. If I want to work with them, I will work on building those relationships.

As far as practices go, I have seen horrible accusations made as well. People have flat out said that trying to take up a practice of a culture you are not a member of is the same as rape. I think this is completely out of line. I do think that you can take up practices in an disrespectful manner, and that some people do try to 'take advantage' of other cultures because they want to seem cooler or they think it will make them special in some way. But I think if the reasons in your heart are pure, and you honestly are drawn to a practice and you respect it and the peoples who created and practice it, then there is nothing wrong with looking for inspiration from outside your own blood. For me it's all about intent.

I pretty much let my heart lead me. I find myself drawn to explore my physical roots. I look into Chinese belief and practices. I look towards the European paths. My main practice is pretty heavily Norse influenced, and while I do have some roots in the area, they aren't the deepest ones, but that is where I am drawn most strongly. A part of my heart was stolen by Hawaii when I lived there, to me it bears a huge part of what I consider Home. I have never had a problem with the deities I work with, or my ancestors, feeling betrayed or lessened because I have interests in a variety of areas.

So, ultimately, I think that my conceptualization of ancestry is pretty broad. I have different kinds of ties to different places, and I do my best to honor them from my heart and soul. And I feel that if I keep that perspective, if I approach from a respectful mindset, then seeking to follow those threads that connect me will only make my practice stronger.

PBP- Pagan Blog Project- Introduction

Well, as things go, I meant to get this up here a few days ago, but never got around to it!  I am going to be participating in this years Pagan Blog Project.  If you haven't heard of it, there is a little link on the right side of my blog that will take you to their main page.

The gist of it is that each week on Friday I will post a blog entry, working through the alphabet, with two weeks on each letter.  I can use any topic I like dealing with that letter.

I will also try to be more active in general, so any post that is for the Pagan Blog Project will have PBP in the title as well as the tag:  Pagan Blog Project.  Anything that doesn't have those will just be random thoughts and musings.

I hope you all enjoy!

Fusion Witchcraft

I was chatting today with some friends on Facebook, and mentioned that I have taken to calling my path fusion witchcraft.  My path is very eclectic, in what I feel is a good way.  I am interested in, read about and learn from many sources.  I kind of blend things together so that they work for me.

There is kind of a belittling going on in the magical community towards eclectics.  It has become almost a dirty word, like someone who doesn't have the fortitude to pick a path and stick with it, or someone who mashes bits and pieces of different traditions together without any thought just because they felt like it.  I don't consider this to be what I do at all.  If I were to find a tradition that fully encapsulated who I am, what I believe and what I want to do, I would be willing to do what was needed to be a member of that tradition.  But I have yet to find a tradition that doesn't have parts that I just can't get behind.

What I find particularly insulting is the belief that a lot of people seem to spout on about:  that people who combine practices are being disrespectful to the original sources/peoples who held a practice originally.  Particularly irritating is the fact that often the people getting all riled up about the perceived insult aren't even a part of the original source.  But I promise you, any practices that I partake in, anything that becomes a part of my path, for a moment or forever, are taken up in the spirit of reverence and honor.  The fact that anyone can accuse another's religious practices as insulting...well I find that kind of offensive.

But back to fusion...making the comment that I practice fusion witchcraft got me to thinking about cooking.  Fusion cooking is considered a wonderful thing, and rightly so.  You take flavors, ingredients, techniques and recipes from different cultures and use them together to create new and wonderful things.  I don't see fusion chefs trying to claim their French-Japanese creations are 'authentic historical French (or Japanese) recipes', and I don't see people complaining because these new fusion creations aren't traditional.

I think this is a great way to approach witchcraft (assuming you are not wanting to be a member of a particular tradition).  Every culture in the world has their own way of doing things.  They have techniques (where a chef might learn how to stir fry, a witch might learn how to cast a circle).  They have ingredients (some things just aren't available in some areas, and some things are so available they get used in pretty much everything).  They have recipes (we just call them spells *grin).  They have cultural flavors (much like India is known curry and Ceremonial Magic is known for elaborate rituals and symbols).  Many times you can recognize a practice, just by the things that are used, the words that are said or the general style.

Most people break into a magical practice in one of two ways:  they read a 101 book or they read a book of spells.  Learning from a 101 book is like taking a cooking class:  it will typically teach you the methods of cooking, like how to chop, boil and bake.  There might be some recipes you work with, but the focus is on learning the skills that you will need to be able to read and execute any recipe.  Learning from a book of spells is like picking up a cookbook and just starting to make recipes.  If you do what the recipe says, you will typically end up with a good result, but you won't know enough of the basic skills to be able to fix any problems that might come up....or be able to come up with your own recipes.

What happens given time and much practice is that you start to build your skills and recipes both.  And in order to become a good cook, I think you need to work with a lot of both.  Eventually, you will start to branch out on your own, and create your own dishes.  A good dish can come about by absolute accident, but you are more likely to have good success by trusting your skills and thinking about other recipes you have made, and then using that information to blend together things that would taste good and use techniques that work well with those ingredients.  Often a whole new dish can be created just by changing a few key ingredients in a recipe.

When I started out, I had a book of spells.  I worked other people's spells for a long time, finding ones that did what I wanted to accomplish and working through them.  But often I found that I didn't have the right ingredients, or part of the wording felt clunky to me, or it worked with a deity I was unfamiliar with.  Through reading 101 books, I started learning the hows and whys of things:  how circles are cast, why tools are used, what different stones mean.

I think that when I first started working on my own creations, that is when I feel I really became a witch (as opposed to just being a person who did spells...kind of like the difference between feeling you are a cook and feeling like you are someone who cooks food).  Now, when I learn about different practices, I think about it like expanding my toolbox.  Maybe this culture has a new tool that I have never used, and by learning about how they use it I can see how it might be useful in my path.  Perhaps they have a local plant or animal that plays a huge role in their beliefs that I can learn to work with.

 Another thing I find really powerful about approaching different traditions with the intent of learning about them and how they might be incorporated into your personal path is that you find yourself automatically trying to see how practices are similar to things you already know.  Much you might explain that a malasada is kind of like a donut, you could compare the LBRP to circle casting.  While it is definitely helpful in my personal practice, I also find it really useful in talking with other people about their paths.  Common language helps dialogue happen.

I think fusion witchcraft has huge potential, and that if people can shift their thinking to be inclusive instead of exclusive, we can open up a whole new page and create something beautiful.

Quantum mechanics

Okay, first....don't run away!  For years, I have agreed with the concept of multiple dimensions, which I thought was string theory (I actually have no clue why I thought this was string theory).  But the idea of there being an infinite number of realities, all existing at once, with every possibility existing in at least one of them, is something that has flavored my magical practice from the beginning. 

I am also a fan of the show The Big Bang Theory (yes, I have been a nerd of some sort since grade school!), where they definitely talk about different theories and what not.  And recently, I was reading Witch Crafting (by Phyllis Curott), and it touches on the ideas of magic being supported by some of the current scientific theories.

So, when I went to the library, I decided to do some reading up, and got The Grand Design (by Stephan Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow).  I had sort of put off reading it, expecting it to be quite dry (even though it was supposed to be a non-scientists explanation of stuff), and when I finally sat down to read it I was pleasantly surprised.  It was definitely interesting and not too hard to digest.

Anyways (I swear my rambling will start heading somewhere soon....), the book mainly talks about how the standard concepts of 'how stuff works' doesn't really function so well when you start getting into tiny particles.  While things like our laws of gravity and magnetism work great on an everyday scale (stuff you don't need a microscope to look at), when you start getting towards an atomic level, stuff behaves differently.

That is the basis of Quantum mechanics:  finding out how tiny stuff works. What I found really interesting is that a lot of Quantum mechanics could easily be applied to energy (which is also comprised of tiny bits!). 

One of the goals of scientists for pretty much forever was to find the Grand Unified Theory:  the one theory that explained everything.  However, it is looking like that isn't technically possible.  The book (The Grand Design) explained it like this:  existence is kind of like the earth.  If you try to draw a (flat) map of the entire globe, you really can't because as you get to different areas it gets skewed out of proportion.  What you can do is draw a lot of little maps, each of a different section of the globe.  As these maps get laid out next to each other, you can see how they fit together, and each is accurate for their own area.

This kind of reminds me of a lot of discussions I see about "the right way to do stuff" in the magical community.  There are a lot of people who feel like their way explains everything, but sometimes they really have to stretch to explain things that aren't outside of their field of expertise.  And especially when it comes to why some things work one way for one person but another way for another person....it is almost impossible to explain trying to use the 'one rule' theory.

Another idea that I really liked was that of Model Dependent Realism.  This states that there may be an Ultimate Reality, but it is kind of pointless to worry about it.  What is important is whether the models we use to explain stuff actually agrees with the observations we are making....in other words, do our theories work.  If I have a theory on how energy works, and you have a theory on how energy works...and both of us have never had a personal experience that negates our own theory, then it is pointless for us to sit and argue over who's way is better.  They both work, and so they are both equally real.  Not only that, but your theory might not be real for me because it just won't work for me....but that doesn't make it any less real to you.

This has been a big thing in my practice.  I definitely have things that work well for me that aren't traditional ways of doing things.  There are 'standard' ways of doing things that just don't work well for me.  If I were to try to do things in a traditional way, I wouldn't be very effective at all.  Instead I try things, observe what happens, and then adjust as necessary.  If it works, then it works, and I run  with it.  If it doesn't work, I try to figure out why not and what I can do to make it work.

Now here is where it starts to get a bit tricky.  On a quantum level (remember, this means tiny stuff), if a particle is moving from point A to point B, it doesn't just take one path.  It is not like if I were to roll a ball across the floor.  When talking about tiny things, they are understood to take all possible paths, all at once, to get from point A to point B.  Okay, that is a bit confusing, but I think it has HUGE magical potential.  If I were wanting to accomplish something magically, where I am now becomes point A, and the result I want is point B.  If I think of energy in quantum terms, to get from where I am to where I want to be, that energy can move in an infinite number of ways.  Which way it actually moves is based on how probable that particular path is out of the infinite number of choices.

In fact, when you observe a quantum particle, anywhere along the path from point A to point B, you actually change what happens.  So, if I am not looking, the particle moves in every way possible.  However, if I watch one particular path, and I see the particle on that path, it is no longer moving on all the other paths.  Think about this magically for a minute.  Lets say my point A is me not having a job, and my point B is having a job.  There are a lot of ways that I can get from point A to point B.  But if I work magic, and use energy, I start to effect the outcome.  Now lets say I use a spell to get a job, and while doing it my mind is thinking about me wearing a uniform.  That is me, observing the path of me in a job with a uniform.  I have just nudged the energy in that way.  It is now more likely that any job I get will involve a uniform.  The more 'paths' (or specific qualities) you observe, the more probable those outcomes become.  Not only that but the more you observe (focus), the more you are nudging the energy towards those paths.

What I find really interesting is that when dealing with quantum particles, you don't have to do the observation while the movement is taking place.  If one were to observe light particles that have been moving for thousands of years, how you observe them today actually effects the paths they took to get here....for all those thousands of years.  Now think about how this could effect your understanding of energy.

Not only energy however, this also effects history.  Instead of viewing history as a definite path, it is now a spread of paths.  The present is the known fact, and much like we look at the future in terms of "this will most likely happen if nothing changes" and "this might happen if I do this", we can look at the past in terms of the multitude of ways we could have taken to get to where we are now.  This also ties back into the theory of having multiple universes (or dimensions).  Each possible past exists on another level, in another universe.  I believe we can tap into these alternate universes just as we can our own.  This can be especially useful in working through past traumas, or even working with past opportunities we were unable to make the most of.  It definitely effects my thoughts on pathworking.

I always love when science or commonly accepted ideas mesh with my own magical perspective, and I was not disappointed to find that a lot of scientific thought is very much inline with my own understanding of how energy works, how the world works, and the possibilities of the universe.  It was mentioned in the book that no one is sure in M-theory what exactly the M stands for....it could be 'master', 'mystery' or 'miracle'.  I think it could also be Magic!

Thoughts on gratitude and expressing thanks

I recently re-read one of my favorite series (the Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs), and there are fae in the books.  One of the things that is mentioned quite a few times is the prohibition against saying thank you to the fae.  Gratitude could be expressed, but you couldn't actually thank the fae (or they would be able to use your thanks as a means of controlling you).

This is a pretty common belief about the fae, and it got me thinking about why it would be bad to thank them.  Another common belief about the fae is they can't lie.  Put them together, and I think you have an interesting reason why a verbal thank you would be undesirable, while showing gratitude was okay.

Think about how many times in a day you say little things (like thank you, I'm sorry, it's okay...) without really meaning them.  I do it all the time.  Sometimes I do feel like I may have inconvenienced someone else, like when I say I'm sorry as I move my shopping cart from where I left it blocking an isle.  Sometimes it's a knee jerk reaction in social situations, like when I am standing still and someone else bumps into me, and 'excuse me' has already left my mouth without my even thinking about it. 

I'm not always truthful in these little bits of politeness.  Sometimes, when I say that it's okay in public, I am thinking quite nasty thoughts because it really was kind of rude whatever the other person did....but I am not going to make a fuss because it's just not worth it to get all worked up about it, so I apologize or accept an apology, rant in my mind, then move on. 

But back to gratitude and thanks.  I think we tend to say the words thank you without much meaning behind them.  And worse, I think we sometimes say them as if just saying the words is enough to show how grateful we are.  And sure, sometimes just words are enough.  If we drop a pen at the bank, and a stranger picks it up and hands it to us, a thank you is probably sufficient.  If our neighbor comes over to our house everyday for a week to take care of our pets while we are out of town on vacation, does a mere thank you really cover it?

Words are important, they really are.  Think about a day where you were just having a really rough day, and everything was going badly.  If you happen to hold the door open so the lady with three fussy kids can get through, even though her hands are full, and she looks at you and says thanks....it makes you feel better, even if it is just for that moment.

But actions are important too.  Sometimes even more important than words.  If we can show how grateful we are, it leaves a bigger impression.  Instead of just saying thanks for someone who has gone out of their way or inconvenienced themselves to do something for you, find a way to show your gratitude by doing something for them in return.  The more personal the better, the more thought you put into it, the more the recipient will understand how much you care.   The simplest action, if well thought through, can mean more than the most elaborate procedure that doesn't fit the situation. 

And if you do use words, consider expressing your gratitude just saying 'thank you'.  If you tell someone what their actions meant to you or how they made you feel, it will mean so much more than just saying thanks.

If we believe that fae are creatures of truth and trickery both, that they may be bound by their words and yet free to twist them to deceive, it only makes sense that they might distrust thanks.  Add in the concept of owing a debt when someone does something for you and you acknowledge it and you begin to see how the stricture against thanking a fae would prevent you from being bound to pay them back in whatever way they saw fit.