The power of superstition

Superstitions are a broad category of beliefs that link different things with qualities, often luck or protection.  In a way, believing in a superstition is like believing in a correspondence.  Four leaf clovers and horseshoes are lucky, black cats and broken mirrors are not.  Some superstitions are based on actions, such as tossing salt over your shoulder when it spills (to avoid bad luck).

I feel like most superstitions have their roots in history, and often we don't know why things are lucky/unlucky.  Some do make sense, in a way, like walking under a ladder being unlucky (it was definitely dangerous, and so people who were likely to walk under ladders often were probably going to have other bad things befall them because they weren't cautious).  Others are based on outdated thinking (like black cat's being unlucky).

Now many people write off superstitions as nothing but old folk tales, and they may be right.  However, if you think about them as a power you can tap into, something along the lines of the law of attraction, then things seem a bit more logical.  If I hang a horseshoe over my door for luck, and every time I see it I think of what has been lucky in my life lately, I am creating a mindset of luck.  On the other side of the spectrum, if I believe that Friday the 13'th is unlucky, then my mind will be looking for examples of bad luck all day, and I will fixate on things that I wouldn't even notice on other days!

This also reminds me a bit of the power of cursing, and the belief that you have to believe in the curse for it to effect you.  While I don't personally think that way about curses, I do think superstitions might fall into this category.  If you believe in them, they will work for you (or against you...), but if you don't, then you probably won't notice any significant changes.

Personally, I'm a fan of superstitions, or at least the good ones.  I don't tend to put much stock in the negative ones, but I love me some good luck charms!  The way I look at it, if I make the choice to acknowledge a superstition, that is one more tool I can use to help me avoid mental traps (like feeling like you are unusually unlucky).

Now, if you were raised believing in superstitions that you no longer feel serve you, it can be hard to break away from that.  I feel like the best way to approach this kind of work is to replace the belief you want to be rid of with a new one.  

 

Let's think about the superstition about black cats being unlucky.  Their dark color associates them with 'evil', but today we know that it is just a fur color, no different from orange or white.  So instead of feeling like seeing a black cat, or having one pass in front of you, imbues you with bad luck, you could twist it and work on creating a new superstition for yourself.  Perhaps something along the lines of, 'offering my hand to pet any black cat I see turns the luck around and makes them lucky!'

Superstitions and omens are quite similar, and that is another shift you can make to take a superstition and treat it like an omen instead.  Omens are more warnings of potential bad stuff on the horizon.  It's like doing divination and seeing trouble ahead.  It isn't saying that those things are absolutely going to happen, but it's giving you a heads up about the issue, so that you can prepare and take appropriate precautions.

 

One of the things I like about many (good) superstitions is that they are easy to do.  They might be something fairly common to find (like wishing stones) or a simple action (like crossing your fingers for luck).  This makes them a very accessible form of folk magic!  And that is how I like to think of them, as a type of magic that we can choose to harness, not like some kind of universal trickery that we need to defend against.

But whether or not superstitions are a part of your belief system, I think they are a nice handy little tool that we can call upon, when we need a little something.  I definitely use superstitions like a little magical security blanket...they are something that I can do when I'm feeling a bit off, just to kind of tip my mind back into a better space.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

What's in the meaning of a name

 I've talked before about the power of words, but I think it's something that is important enough to talk about again.  Language is an ever-evolving thing, and I think right now we are seeing a huge change in how we approach language (with the topic of pronouns).  

Words are created things, at some point in time, all words were 'made up'.  And it's not like we aren't used to the concept of adding new words to our vocabulary, because slang is a very commonly accepted concept, and while we may view slang to be casual language (not suited for 'official' type settings), we still acknowledge them as words.  

Where things get a bit tricky is when the same word has different meanings to different groups.  We saw this with Wicca, where for a long time Wicca was seen by some as a specific path (British Traditional Wicca or BTW), while many people weren't aware of that meaning and came to know Wicca as the catchall for generic witchy Paganism (what we might now consider Neo-Wicca).  Now, one might definitely argue that BTW is the 'true' meaning of the name, but if you have a whole generation of people who grew up thinking what they did is Wicca (because that is what a lot of 101 books and articles called it), are they really wrong in calling their path Wiccan (since that is what they were taught it was called)?

Now, take that same issue, but add in a few more generations and you start to see how this can be a complicated issue.  I see similar issues with naming when it comes to food.  Think about the divided opinions on what a biscuit is (American versus British).  Both countries have been calling their food a biscuit forever, and both versions are dramatically different.  Neither is wrong, in this case it comes down to context.

To further complicate the issue, sometimes people pervert the meaning of a thing, so it can no longer be used for it's original purpose.  Almost every slur or curse word follows this path.  At some point down the line, a word became a negative name for some marginalized group (or in the case of curse words, a slightly taboo word is shifted from it's original meaning to a general exclamation of frustration or outrage).  The thing is that once a meaning has shifted, it's almost impossible to reclaim the original meaning (and even if you use it in proper context, it's still flavored by the negative slur meaning).

And finally, sometimes names are linked to other names in a way to other people.  There is a long history of associating marginalized people with unsavory mythic creatures (who typically are considered 'evil') as a way for the people in power to demonstrate the negative characteristics of the people they wish to other.  This has come up recently with goblins, both within the Harry Potter world and in Dungeons and Dragons.  

The thing is that, to the best of my knowledge, folklore about goblins existed before the connection to any specific race, and in fact goblin lore is quite varied and what characteristics goblins have differs greatly depending on where in the world you are.  It is only a few specific areas/times that have linked goblins to a particular people, and I honestly had never thought of goblins as 'representing' any particular race...until someone pointed it out.

And it's worth pointing out that these types of negative associations only work if you agree to the racial stereotypes about the people involved!  Sure many fantasy goblins have distinct physical features and some have a love of money....but if you don't stereotype a whole race of (actual) people, then you won't see goblins as a way of representing those people.  

In a similar line, going back to gender names for a minute, I am starting to see more and more people finding alternative language to the typically gendered way we approach things in the witchy realm.  There are SO many things that we needlessly gender.  And I do understand that, for a very long time, gendered thought (especially when it came to personality types) was the standard.  Men were masculine and that meant tough and rough and active and 'good', while women were feminine so they were dainty and passive and 'evil' (yes, most binary systems equate masculine with positive and feminine with negative).

It's one of those things that has been done forever...but that doesn't mean we need to continue it!  Even just taking the gender part out and talking about things in terms of active/passive, nurturing/protecting, external/internal....these allow people to step outside of their stereotype (and trust me if you want me to be a stereotypical 'female'...you are going to be disappointed!).

Words will always have power, but that is a power we can harness....and most importantly it's a power we don't have to fall prey to.  Just because someone wants to use a word in a way that hurts or oppresses other people, doesn't mean we need to buy into that.  And just because a word has meant something 'for a long time' doesn't mean we can't change that meaning.  And multiple groups can use the same word to mean very different things (context is important!).  This is why it is so vital to be open to conversations about what things mean and to not cling to something just because it's what we know.  Language evolves, and so should we.

Taking time for yourself

 I've talked about alone time before, but today I want to talk a bit about doing stuff on your own.  Being an introvert, I am no stranger to going out into the world and having experiences...by myself.  Sometimes I need that quiet time at home, but other times it is good to go out and do things.  We talk about the necessity of alone time, but sometimes that doesn't mean alone in the strict sense of the word, but rather not being with friends, family or acquaintances.

Being an only child, I was pretty used to doing things alone.  And as I grew up, and was able to go more and more places unaccompanied, that didn't change much!  It wasn't uncommon for me to wander off, in public, and yet still be 'alone' (because honestly, strangers sharing the same space still kinda counts as being alone!).

There are a lot of activities we consider to be 'social' ones, where many people feel quite uncomfortable (at least at first!) doing them alone.  Things like going to a sit down restaurant, to see a movie, or to attend an event.  We have been trained to think of these things as group activities, and we may feel awkward attending on our own.

Sometimes this is because we worry about what other people might say about us, specifically that we might be considered strange or unlikable, simply because we don't have company with us.  And yet, people who learn to be comfortable doing things like this on their own often make great friends...because they are whole within themselves.

I also find it fascinating that, if you are an introvert like me, you may find it easier to be truly alone at home, while an extrovert may find being 'alone' in public easier.  No matter which way feels more natural to you, that can be the first step leading you to enjoying time by yourself in more challenging circumstances.

But spending time alone changes the experience!  When we don't have other people around, we are more true to ourselves.  With others, no matter how close we are, we are always modifying our behavior slightly.  In some ways, we reflect those around us, and in other ways we simply show different sides of ourselves.

When we first start spending time alone, we may feel echos of the other people in our lives.  We may still act as if they were around, and it takes time to really relax and be comfortable being 'just you'.  But once you reach that level of comfort, it allows you to experience things in a much more personal level, because it quite literally is all about you!

The other great thing about spending time in public alone is that you can do things at your own pace and in your own way.  With others, there is always some level of compromise.  We each like things to a different degree, and so we naturally give and take where we need to.  With no one else around, you can do things exactly as you like them!

I think taking a trip, whether is it something local but a bit out of your regular romps, or a proper vacation to another place entirely, on your own is a remarkable thing.  Especially if you are able to take a good chunk of time (anywhere from a few hours to days or even weeks!), the experience will teach you things about yourself that you really can't learn with others!

I think we should all have the opportunity to know what we are capable of...alone.  In our normal lives, we may have become used to other people doing certain things for us.  While we may know that we could do those things on our own, we might not be aware of our own strengths in those areas.  I know that I can handle a lot, on my own, but when with others I often prefer not to do certain things.  

And pushing myself to be on my own and to do the things that I'm uncomfortable with, reminds me of just how capable I am.  It helps me to develop in areas that I normally shy away from, and by working on these things alone, I am less self-conscious about any mishaps that might occur.  It often feels safer to try by myself than with other people watching.

But those experiences carry back to my everyday life!  When I am faced with things that make me uncomfortable, I can draw upon those memories of doing them on my own, and it makes it a bit easier.  I can make my mistakes in solitude and that makes it easier for me to move past them and find growth.

I also feel like those moments when we experience something amazing on our own are their own kind of secret.  We have so many memories that revolve around the people in our lives, that curating memories that only involve us becomes something truly magical.  

So whether you are naturally comfortable on your own or if you need to ease into it, making time to not only be alone in your own space, but also out in the world, is truly valuable.  It helps you become a more complete individual, helps you develop your strengths and navigate your weaknesses.  And it creates memories that are unique to you!

Pushing your boundaries

 I think it's a pretty common thing for people to be more open when they are first starting out on a path (or learning about a new thing), and the more we practice, the more refined our path becomes.  It's only natural to narrow our focus, especially as we learn more about what really works for us, and what doesn't.

However, I think we are doing a huge disservice, both to ourselves and to others, to keep our circle small and focused.  When we surround ourselves with people who are 'like us' we become an echo chamber, and we loose out on so much of the beautiful variety that makes the human race so special.

Now I know that it's not comfortable for everyone to step into spaces that we are unfamiliar with, and it's definitely not something that (most people) are comfortable with for the bulk of their practice, but I do feel that it's important to try to broaden your experiences as much as you are able to.  The more we can interact with people who are different to us, the more we enrich all of our lives!

I recently joined a witchcraft group that is very different to any I have been a part of.  Firstly, the age range is highly tilted towards people who are much younger than I am.  And while it is definitely intimidating, it's also hugely fascinating.  

I think age is one of those categories that we are socialized to limit ourselves within.  From early school days, we are lumped together with people 'in the same year', and making friends outside your year wasn't as socially acceptable as hanging out with people in the same year as you.  We carry this into adulthood (though our range does widen a bit), and many people spend most of their time socializing with others who are roughly their own age.

In some ways this makes sense, because you share a historic perspective...people your age have lived through the same stuff you have, they grew up during the same time and thus have a similar perspective.  Spending time with people younger or older than you (by more than a few years) is almost like learning a new language and definitely like stepping into a different culture.

Beyond age differences, spending time with people who walk different paths humanizes practices in a way that looking in from the outside (doing academic research and the like) will struggle to accomplish.  It shifts your brain from thinking about things in a clinical way and into thinking about things in a personal way.  

And that is something that I think we really need to lean into and embrace!  People are widely varied and we have so many lovely unique ways of facing the world, but underneath it we all share many commonalities, and it's SO  much easier to understand practices that feel very foreign to you when you have connected with someone who actually lives those practices.

Especially in this modern age, where everything is changing so quickly, I feel like socializing with people who are different (whether that means in age, in where they live in the world, in what path they walk or any number of other differences we may see in the people around us) lets us tap into the pulse of the current moment.  It lets you see how things have changed, especially for those of us who have been practicing for a while.

The conversations people are having today, about their practices, are both similar and so very different, from the conversations that people were having when I first started.  The discourse around culture and ancestry is constantly evolving, and when we talk about cultural differences, we absolutely need to have voices from within the cultures being talked about.  

I see my practice as a living practice.  It changes as I change, it grows and evolves when I learn new things.  I don't want to be someone who clings to a stagnant path simply because it's how I learned to walk it...I want to embrace the learning and growing we've done as a society and to listen to the voices that have been silenced for so long.

I don't think it's necessary to toss away my familiar practices in order to open myself to new ones, but I do appreciate any time spent with people who are in a different place than I am (whether that means they are a different age, walk a different path, live in a different part of the world or are a different gender/sexuality).  I find it really rewarding to be in spaces that let people of widely different circumstances interact....the conversations are amazing!

So even if you have a very established practice and are comfortable and happy with it, I think it's well worth it to also reach out and spend time with people who you might not ordinarily interact with.  It helps me stay connected and it enriches my life in ways that I would never have discovered if I stayed within my safe and familiar boundaries.

Adjusting cycles for imperfection

 One of the great things about working with cycles, like the moon cycle or the wheel of the year, is that they give us both structure and let us work with larger patterns.  But sometimes, our nice tidy cycles get interrupted for one reason or another, and we have to adjust, and that can feel frustrating, especially if it leaves you feeling incomplete.

There are a lot of ways things can be (or feel) interrupted.  We might get caught up in something else and forget to work part of a cycle, and then it may feel like we might as well just not bother with the rest.  But as someone who frequently gets sidetracked like this (and who is highly forgetful...), if I stopped every time I went astray...I'd probably not get to do a lot of things.

Sometimes, it's something entirely out of our hands, like how February has less days than the other months (and boy do those 2-3 days really feel like so much more...), and now you may have to adjust your actions to fit a different structure.  Or maybe you are used to working with the full moons in a particular way, and then there is a blue moon and now you feel all off kilter.

For me, the first (and often biggest) step is to simply acknowledge what's off (and why, if applicable).  So if I had planned on working the Wheel of the Year, but I missed a Sabbat, I will sit down and spend some time thinking (or journaling) about why I missed it.  This lets me acknowledge any issues that might keep me from further work (like if I missed it because I forgot, then I might make extra reminders for myself for the next one).

Sometimes, you can 'catch up' on things you missed, especially if you are flexible on timing.  If I miss a moon phase, I might still make a note of it in my witchy log and can even do the work I was going to do....just belated.  This is what I tend to do, as I find that it helps me feel more like I'm not just skipping over part of the greater cycle (which definitely makes me feel a bit lopsided).  Even a small bit of work feels better than nothing at all.

Another thing that may come up is when you encounter a cycle that is either already imperfect or you want to create a new cycle for yourself, but the timing and content don't line up (like let's say you wanted to spend a year learning the tarot, but you can't quite find a good way to split the deck into the framework of the year).  At that point, it's less of a matter of fixing the issue and more about finding the best fit and then accepting it.

One of the cycles that often is hardest for me to work with is the week.  We have so many models for what a week is, from the workweek/weekend to working with the energies of the days (which I love doing), but I build a lot of my schedule around my husband's work (which is only 4 days a week on a normal week), so I almost have to think of my week as two separate cycles that rotate around each other (and I also have to shift tasks so the ones that I prefer to do when I'm alone, like writing, can be done when he's working).  If a 'traditional' cycle doesn't work for you...feel free to change it!

When it comes to spiritual cycles, sometimes we need to adjust for who is there.  This might mean changing your cycle to include others if you are mostly solitary but maybe you know some witchy people who want to get together and do stuff (in a cycle you are already working alone, like the wheel of the year or the moon cycle).  Here you have the choice of either doubling down, doing your solitary work as usual and then working with others as a bonus activity...but that may feel a bit repetitive.  Instead, you might adapt your solitary work into something that other people can join in on.  You might even do some combination of both, doing only a minor work on your own (the bare minimum to tend to this part of the greater cycle work you are doing) and enjoying the group work as your main observation of this part of the cycle.

 

Or, maybe you regularly work with a group and have been working on a cycle together, but then you get sick and can't make a meeting or it has to be canceled for some other reason.  Your group might decide to adjust their plans to a format that lets everyone do stuff on their own this time, and then you can work together next time (and share your solo experiences).  Or maybe you decide to do a virtual meetup.  Or you could choose to do your own solitary work even if the rest of the group chooses to not plan anything.

Life isn't perfect, and expecting all the cycles you work with to be is just asking for disappointment.  The wonderful thing about these imperfections is they often drive us to try things we may not have come to in another way.  They force us out of our comfort zone and even if we run right back to our plans as soon as we can, we still made it through, and the next time things get a bit wonky, we will remember that making adjustments wasn't so bad.  Who knows, you may find that you enjoy things a bit lopsided!

The legalities of Love

 

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, love is in the air....except for those who are still fighting to be able to love the people they love.  It absolutely breaks my heart that there are people in this world who love other people, but they can't expect the same acceptance (and legal treatment) as others.  

Love is an emotion, like joy or fear.  It is a thing we experience, and we can't control it.  We love who we love, and when two (or more!) people love each other that is a beautiful thing.  It is something to be celebrated, not something that anyone should have to hide out of fear.

And yet, we live in a world where love isn't an equal right.  Even in countries where it isn't illegal to love or be with the person who you might love, if you can't legally benefit from the same 'rewards' of loving someone that other people have (like tax breaks, shared insurance or any of a bunch of other things that many cishet couples enjoy without thought), then you are legally being punished for loving who you love.

There are countless examples throughout history and across the globe of different types of love being restricted.  Whether it is love between people of different races, love between people of different genders, love between differing ages (I am NOT talking about pedophilia here, I am talking about love between consenting adults, but there is still stigma against for example a 30 year old being with an 80 year old), love if you are disabled and love between people from different socio-economic backgrounds.

One of the (many) things I adore about being Pagan is that a significantly greater proportion of our community embraces love in all it's splendor and it's many, many forms.  We have myths that showcase other forms of love and deities who you can work with who love in ways similar to you.  ((yes, there are some intolerant Pagans, but by and large, we don't tend to condone loving other people *Shrug))

The thing that I honestly just don't get about some of these legal issues is...why?  Why are so many things tied into having a marriage license?  Who does it hurt to allow people to love who they love?  And sadly, many of the answers are tied into...another religion.  Another religion that is being used to restrict, and I'll go so far to say harm, people that don't even follow that religion!

Regardless of you who personally love, I feel this is a very present issue to us all, as Pagans...and as humans.  We need to stand up and be very clear that we are not okay with other religions forcing us to live by their rules.

And we need to make sure that our own communities are making space for everyone.  We need to stay mindful, when we create rituals or talk about love, that we include not only love that manifests the way we love, but also love that looks different from the way we love.

Sometimes, this leads to difficult conversations, and it may mean building and enforcing boundaries around who you allow in your gatherings.  It means standing up for others in our community who are struggling, and lending your voice to theirs when they cry out against injustice.

And maybe we have our own inner work to do, around love and it's many varieties.  This is a great time of year to explore some old hangups you might have or to start unlearning some of your own ignorance.  If you have any preconceived notions about what love means or how other people love, then go out and talk to people!  Find someone who experiences love in a way that you aren't as familiar with and ask if they would be willing to share their experiences with you.  (and remember...love can be highly personal, so if the answer is no, always respect that!)

Especially if the way you love is legally 'acceptable', spending some time to think about what it would mean, practically and legally speaking, if YOU loved in another way...that will open your mind up to how things could be...and how things are for others right now.  The more we remember the inequalities that don't effect us, and the more we work to make those issues better...the better the world will be (and statistically speaking, if more people did this, then more people would also be acting on issues that DO apply to you).

So this Valentine's day, whether you have love in your life right now or not, take a bit of time to think about the people who can't love openly, or who don't have their love supported legally....and find some way to do something to support those people.

Imbolc, the home Sabbat

 Even in today's modern age, we tend to spend more time at home during the colder part of the year.  Imbolc is still a part of this colder time, even though it marks the beginning of spring.  I strongly associate Imbolc with the hearth, with the heart of our home.  And this got me thinking about it as a sort of house birthday.

We recognize anniversaries of so many things, and we spend so much time in our houses, but how often do we honor the role that our home plays in our life.  I'm not just talking about the physical stuff, keeping us out of the weather, protecting ourselves and our stuff, because home means so much more that that (as anyone who has lived in a place that doesn't feel like 'home' can attest to).  

And if you do live in a place where you don't feel at home, then you might want to apply this thought to somewhere that does feel like home to you.  Perhaps it is a friend's house, or a relatives, or that secret hidey hole that no one knows about...but it makes you feel safe.  Whatever space feels like home to you, Imbolc is a great time to celebrate that relationship.

When we celebrate a birthday, we are acknowledging that the person is important to us, and often we are doing things to demonstrate how much they mean to us...how important they are to our lives.  We give them a gift, something we think they will enjoy, as a marker of this celebration.

Shifting this idea to our home, we can take some extra time to clean things up (gift of service...and cleaning is often associated with Imbolc...spring clean!), or maybe get something nice that we've been wanting for our home:  a new piece of art, a cozy blanket, some fresh spring flowers.

Many Pagans like to work with their house spirit, and making a special offering or spending some time in communication (maybe through meditation or a chat through a divination tool)...just checking in and seeing how things are going and if there is something your home would like more (or less) of.

Candles and wishing are two things that are connected to Imbolc...and birthdays.  Why not light a candle for your house, and make a wish for your home for the coming year?  You could also dedicate a candle to your house spirit, and use it as a more regular practice, lighting the candle when you want to commune with or simply recognize the spirit of your house.

Food is another thing that plays a big role in both many Sabbat celebrations, but also in birthday gatherings.  As Imbolc is a festival of the hearth, it is a great time to cook those comfort foods that feel like a hug.  Maybe a recipe that has been passed down through your family and reminds you of when you were a child.  Or even a brand new dish that feels exciting or special.  And if cooking isn't your thing, then maybe splurge on a nice takeaway, you know that treat dish that just makes everything feel a bit better.

Just as in friendships, if you only wish someone a happy birthday and give them a generic gift, but you don't really talk the rest of the year, then your relationship might be a little distant or stiff.  Special observances like this should be just that:  special.  They shouldn't be the only time you work on them.  The more you can build the relationship between you and your home, the more in tune you will be with your surroundings and the more they will soothe you when you need that feeling of home.

But if you haven't worked with your home spirit before, don't fret!  Remember, every relationship starts somewhere, so take some time this Imbolc to recognize your home for all it does in your life.  And then start thinking about other times and places where you can reinforce this relationship.  Home is definitely a concept worth investing into!