There is more than ONE way!

This is something I see come up all the time, and it makes my heart sad.  There are enough people outside the community that proselytize that their way is the 'one true and only way'.  One of the things I loved about Paganism, from the very start, was that there were many ways to practice, many paths that one could follow, and that you could find what worked for you...and it was all good!

But I am starting to see more and more totalitarian thought in the spiritual community (not just the Pagan groups, I've seen it in women's spirituality groups, gem groups, pretty much anywhere where someone can have an opinion).  It seems like people are really forgetting that not everyone is the same, and that there is no such thing as absolute Truth.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, truth as we know it is subjective.  There are so many things about the physical world that we have come to understand are really in the eye of the beholder.  Things like color, scent, sensation, these are all things that we all perceive in our own way.  And if we can accept that the physical world that we think of as reality as being subjective, how can we not see that the unseen world is also influenced by the person perceiving it?

One of the most pervasive truisms I see tossed around in the Pagan community is still the Threefold Law, Harm None and Karma.  I sort of lump these together, because they are guidelines of morality that are often treated like universal law.  Of the three Harm None is the most man-made.  It is absolutely just a caution that was created, during the early days of Witchcraft going public, mainly to assure others that we don't go around cursing people willy nilly (or at all...)

The Threefold Law and Karma are sort of reflections of themselves, that state that the universe will give back what it gets.  They are the negative version of the Law of Attraction (or the way of negatively stating the Law of Attraction).  But, they aren't universal laws by any means, and as a moral compass, they aren't something that everyone follows.

My favorite thought on these concepts it that of the Karma Police...the idea that somewhere out there in the land of spiritual entities, there are beings dedicated to making sure that bad people get their comeuppance.  I think it's a little ridiculous.  It also defies common knowledge, because there are plenty of bad people in the world who 'get away with it' for their entire lives, and by all measurements are living the good life.

The worst example I've seen of people applying these laws to other people is when strangers state that someone had something bad happen to them because of Karma from a previous life.  Seriously, if you don't know the person, how are you going to tell them that the random bad thing that happened to them is their fault?  In the same vein are the people who say that everything in our lives is a reflection of what kind of energy we send out (Law of Attraction).  It's really not cool, in my book, to tell someone with a chronic illness that it's their fault because they were sending out energy that caused them to be sick (or that they did something in a previous life that led to this life being one of misery).

I fully support people believing these things...but when you try to assign blame to other people based on what you believe, it makes you come off very judgemental.  And just in general, I don't see a reason to make other people feel bad, especially about something they might not have any control over (like past lives).

I actually got told once that I was a bad person for saying that I didn't think that Ouija boards were dangerous.  I think I was blocked for my comment too, which amused me.  The post was in regards to a scarf that was printed with a Ouija board pattern, and my personal opinion is that just printing the symbols on something (especially when it is mass produced) doesn't make it powerful.  I don't think the scarf was dangerous, and I said that.  I feel like things like this are highly influenced by your beliefs, and of course, if you believe the symbols create power, then they do....for you.  Because it is your belief fueling it (not the symbol itself).

Another big trend is in saying who should and should not be practicing things.  I know that an early restriction, for working pairs, was always that it should be a man and a woman (to preserve the duality of the genders).  But this just doesn't work for many people.  I have also seen lots of people say that you shouldn't work when sick, which for a healthy person can be a bit of good advice, but for someone with health concerns, that can be prohibitive.

Most recently, I heard of a book that suggested that anyone with mental health issues or on any type of meds shouldn't have a spiritual practice, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to reach the same levels as other (presumably healthy) people.  This caused someone to question whether they should continue taking their meds.  That is seriously messed up and dangerous, in my opinion!  And again, it was information in a book that prompted this doubt, so it was a statement made by someone (the author) who didn't know the person AT ALL.

I know a lot of people with all sorts of health concerns, both physical and mental.  And many of them have really great spiritual practices.  Some of the people I know who have the most robust spiritual practices are people with some of the greatest health challenges.  Your circumstances don't preclude you from being spiritual!  We are all different, there is no absolute normal, and there is no benchmark for spirituality...there are no levels that we are being graded on.  You need only be concerned with what works for you, and what makes you feel right and spiritual and whole.

And I do recognize the irony of me making a whole lot of statements about how I think that people who make statements about other people are wrong.  I understand that all of this is just my opinion, and that other people may have different opinions.

So, instead of suggesting that you think the way I do, I challenge you to just stop and think.  To think about how other people might think or experience the world.  To think about how your words might effect other people (not just in what they do, but in how they feel).  To think about how your deeply held beliefs might just be personal experiences (and yes, this is something I have done, and continue to do).  And to be mindful of how you express yourself.

Reprograming: replacing inacurate information

One of the things that drew me into my path is my love of learning.  When I was first studying Paganism and witchcraft, there was a huge emphasis on study, on exploring knowledge both of the world, the Self and the unknown.  The expectation was that each person would be on lifetime journey of learning, and that through this process, we would find our truth.

But, it is inevitable that along the way you discover that things you previously learned, things that you believe to be true, are not....or are no longer true for you.  It can be really hard to unlearn things, especially after you took all that time to learn it in the first place!

This applies not only to factual information, but also information we know about more ephemeral things.  If I first learned that ritual needs to be done in a fully cast circle, I may feel like I'm not doing it right or my workings might be less effective because, in my mind, they aren't complete, if I don't cast a circle.  Likewise, if I grew up hearing that I was a procrastinator, even years after I learned to better manage my time, I still may think of myself as a procrastinator, and this will make me more likely to slip back into those bad habits.

When we don't deliberately replace faulty information, it keeps popping up, and we have to work, every time, to move past it.  We may find that our default reaction is based on this inaccurate information, which might cause issues with things we thought we've worked through.  It can be very frustrating when the things we think and the things we do without thinking are at odds.

The good news is that you can absolutely reprogram yourself.  You can root out those faulty bits of information that are lingering around and actively work on replacing them with updated information.  I was really enthralled by this image, of the brain as a machine (and his looks a little broken...don't we all feel like that sometimes!).  Our brain is often likened to a computer, which is a complex machine.  And like many machines, our brain not only needs regular maintenance but also sometimes it needs updates.

The first step in re-programing your mind is to figure out what isn't working.  This part can definitely take some investigation.  Sometimes you notice things are going wonky, but you may not be able to easily identify the exact origin of the issue.  While you can definitely do damage control right away, you can't fully fix things without knowing precisely what is causing the problem.

So, you need to start tracing back the problems you are having to their roots.  Start keeping track of where and when you are having conflict.  If you notice that every time you go to work on love magic, you start to feel moody and depressed, there is probably something going on there.  By tracking when it happens, you may notice that you tend to work on love magic at certain times, which may correlate to a previous relationship that ended badly. 

Sometimes, you need to trace back your steps and see where you got your ideas from.  Over the years, I've studied runes from many, many sources.  Some were really great, but others...not so much.  A few of the sources I looked into, in my very early days, conflicted....because they were from a video game (I wasn't so great, when I first started, at checking sources).  So, I had some varied associations with different runes and what they meant.  I had to go back through and see where the information came from to realize that some of my early sources were suspect.

For me, knowing why information is suspect is very important.  If I know the source of something, it helps me to reinforce the falseness of it.  Even when it pops up, I can remind myself that it's not valid.  But sometimes, just knowing that something isn't true isn't enough, because it still effects you.  I may know that I'm not crippled magically by having short hair (seriously, I have a book that flat out says if you cut your hair short you will loose your magical potency), but I still have that thought pop into my head and I have to negate it whenever it comes up.

Ultimately though, you want to have the new, accurate information be what is foremost in your mind, whenever the situation regarding it is triggered.  And in order to do this, you need to replace the faulty information with more accurate information.

You can achieve this through standard study methods, just like when you are learning new information.  Of course simply reading and thinking about information helps it sink in.  But taking notes, by hand, is also a huge help.  While typing is more effective for a lot of people, in terms of getting information copied quickly, writing your notes by hand activates different parts of your brain that help with retention.  If you like having typed notes (for clarity and ease of searching), consider both hand-writing or at least journaling out your notes first, then transcribing them onto the computer.

But approaching reprogramming in a purely analytical way will be slower and less effective than it would be if you included emotions and story.  These are both really great ways to cement information in, and can also be used to help weaken the hold that old information has in our brain.

I'll talk about story first, because I really feel that story creates proper context for information, and context lets us link information in a way that makes it easier to recall.  We can memorize lists of things, and many people still use rote memorization when they need to learn something.  But, if you create a story around the same information, the narrative links the items together and they become easier to remember.

The great thing about stories is they can be tailored to your needs.  So if you need to replace an association, why not write it into the story!  I really love this approach for rewriting our own memories.  When we have lived through something traumatic, or even just a bad decision that we wish we had handled differently, we can go back and change the story in our mind.  We could even include the original outcome, as something we considered or feared but ultimately moved away from.  We then change the story, retell it, so that our new standpoint is highlighted.

Often, this process naturally includes emotion, but even when it doesn't, we can add emotion.  When we have an emotional response, that memory sinks even deeper.  We always recall things that hit us emotionally easier than those that we don't respond to.  You know what your emotional triggers are, what things touch you deeply..use that information!

We are constantly learning, growing, evolving...and the information we carry with us needs to change as well.  Seek out that which no longer serves you, the false information that is holding you back, and replace it with knowledge that inspires you and calls you to a higher place. 

Adulting is hard!

So, I am a newly freed adult (son is off to college), and I work from home (both writing and freelance captioning)...which means that my days are pretty much entirely in my hands.  Whether I get things done or not falls squarely on my shoulders.  I don't have daily schedules that I have to follow (unless I decide to make them!), and while I do still have household duties, I can mostly decide how and when I want to do them.

Which leaves me with HUGE chunks of time that I need to deal with.  Without outside influence, it is very easy to just let things slide...to not work on the things that need to be worked on because there is something more fun that I want to do, or because I got busy doing something else and 'forgot'.

I actually talked with my son about this, before he went off to college.  Because it is something he will be having to explore and figure out what works best for him.  He will still, of course, have some structure:  classes will happen at specific times and he will have assignments that are due on certain dates.  But, he will have more large projects and more large breaks in his schedule, and he'll have to sort out how to keep himself on track...because we aren't there to remind him!

This is a big step in adulting.  We often don't prepare people for this!  Kids always feel like the rules and restrictions they have aren't fair and aren't fun, and they think that when they grow up they can do whatever they want, whenever they want to do it and it will be awesome.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love having the freedom to pick and choose when to do things.  But I also know that I feel bad if I don't get things done when they need to be done.  And sometimes, being the adult means choosing to do the work instead of playing.  Which isn't always fun.

Hubby has been on vacation this past week.  He works hard, and he plays hard!  On his days off, he tends to go all-in on his hobbies, and it can be hard to not feel a little jealous, especially when he's doing something that I want to be doing too...but I know that I need to clean house or work on my writing, or do one of the other things that I also need/want to do.

And that is another hard part of adulting:  setting priorities when it's all things you want to do!  I have a lot of interests, and trying to find time to do them all is pretty much impossible.  So, sometimes I have to make the hard choices, and decide which of my interests I am going to feed, and how much.

I am very blessed to have work that I enjoy.  I love writing (even when it's fighting me LOL), and I love being able to get my thoughts on (virtual hehe) paper and send them out in the world.  It is very fulfilling to me.  I also get immense satisfaction looking back at the body of work I've made.

In the early days, I wasn't so good at maintaining the weekly blog.  I would let other things get in my way, or I'd forget (it now gets scheduled into my paper planner and my planner app!) and even when I did sit down to write, it felt like I needed to write BIG important stuff!  I forgot that it's a blog, and it's really my thoughts and perspective, so it can be full of ME and be amazing!

I almost never pre-write.  Only one or two times along the years have I written my blog before the day I'm posting it.  A few times when I was on vacation, I would work on it during the week, since I had NO control over when I could sit and write, and once or twice when I had big, all-day commitments, then I would write it ahead of time. 

That is one of the benefits of proper adulting...things get easier!  The more you do something, the better you get at it.  I don't stress about blogging anymore.  I don't stress about NaNo anymore....after ten years of pushing through, I have learned SO much about my limits and how much I can accomplish when I set my mind to it, that I know I can make it to the end.  I am going to be finishing up my second year of monthly stories this month, and boy was that a new challenge!

And, you know, I think that is one of the great things about adulting.  No one recognizes all those things that you do, day in and day out.  The really ordinary, grindy, work stuff.  The really hard adulting stuff!  You need to sometimes take a step back and recognize yourself!

There is this set of really amusing 'adulting reward stickers' that I've seen floating around Facebook.  And while they make me laugh, I think that sometimes we need those kinds of reminders.  So yes, absolutely celebrate all your adulting wins!  Did you make the bed when you got up in the morning....go you!  Did you get all the dishes washed and dealt with before going to sleep at night, that's a win!  Did you clean the house, even though you were tired and really didn't want to?  That deserves a cheer!

Don't forget all those things you do that are good for you too.  Did you stay home and rest because you were tired instead of going to that party that sounded fun?  That's some great self-care right there!  Did you go to bed early, even though there was only two more episodes left in that show you were binging, because you knew that if you stayed up to watch it you'd be grumpy the next day?  Way to adult like a pro!

It sounds trivial, but it's one of those grains of sand things.  Each grain of sand might be tiny, and not really heavy, but if you add a grain of sand every minute of every day, it adds up.  And most adulting things are like that...they never stop, they keep coming, and by themselves they aren't hard or taxing.  But at the end of a long day (week....month....year....life....) when you are already worn down and tired, and you know that tomorrow will just bring more grains of sand, that the flow never stops, and you see that one thing that is out of place and needs put up and the thought of moving it is absolutely exhausting.  That is when you need to pull out the big adulting guns and step up....or make a conscious choice that it is better to let things lie than to break yourself down.

That is what adulting boils down to...for me.  Making the hard choices in life, and making them consciously.  I am okay with not being able to do it all, but I want it to be my choice, not just the one that life has thrust upon me because I avoided making a decision.

So, for everyone else out there, who is struggling with adulting.....know you are not alone!  Know that it is hard, it is never-ending, and yes sometimes it's the choice between two things you love....or two things you hate.  But when you step up, when you make that choice, you have won at adulting!

Taking stock: how and why?

I am sure I am not alone in that I start the year with a goal, but I also get excited by things throughout the year, and add to my goals.  Not only that, but as I do other work, such as working moon cycles or doing journaling prompts, I'll find more things that I want to work on, and set up plans for them.  And, when I read about a new practice, I'll want to try it out!

All in all, I frequently add to my personal work load, and if I don't pay attention, by the end of the year, I'll have this whole list of things (more like a dozen different lists of things...) that I intend to do every day/week/month...and probably over half of them aren't getting done.

I think we are naturally inclined to get excited about things when we first see them.  It is new and shiny and of course we want whatever it is.  Surely it's worth the work, and the work looks kind of fun doesn't it?  We may even be very good and dive right in and do the work for a few days...before our enthusiasm runs out.

But more often, I find that I'll set myself up with new longer-term goals, and they never get worked into my routine, because I set them, and then forgot.  Or, I'll pick up a new goal, and be really dedicated to it...and my older goals will sort of slip through the cracks.

This is why I think it's very important to not only keep a master list of all the things you are working on, but to check in with it several times a year.  I actually like to keep my 'year plan' broken into daily/weekly/monthly/Sabbat categories, because those are the main cycles that I work with. 

My current (bullet journal inspired) planner has three year plans in it right now:  the one I wrote up at the very start of the year (with a half-year reflection added), one I wrote up recently to check in while looking at the next year, and my plan for next year.

At the start of the year, I broke down my year and my goals.  I listed all the things I wanted to do, and how often I planned on doing them.  I like lists, and having everything clearly written out let me see at a glance what I was looking towards.  My lists are color coded, so it is very easy for me to see which parts are daily, which are weekly, etc, which helps make the lists feel more manageable.  My list also included a section for things that I thought would be fun to add in or that I might play with, but that I wasn't committing to.  Sort of like an idea page!

And then, halfway through the year, I revisited this page.  I took out another color of pen (again, so I can easily differentiate!) and I checked in with each thing:  how well was I doing it, what needed to change, what wasn't I doing at all?  It's always interesting to see how my plan and the reality line up and where what I actually did veered off from what I thought I was going to be able to do.

One thing that is really important, when starting to check in, is to be as absolutely factual and non-judgemental as possible.  Write down what is going on, but don't justify or give reasons for anything.  Just start with the reality of the situation.  Then, you can go back through and look into the reasons why things turned out the way they did.  I think if you start by writing out why you missed your mark, it is much easier to try to make excuses instead of owning your truth.

Also, when you start going into why things didn't match up, don't just beat yourself up for not doing what you set out to do.  Sometimes situations change unexpectedly and we may have thought we would have more time/energy/resources than we ended up having.  Other times, we thought something would work one way for us, and the reality is that it didn't work at all. 

One of the main reasons for doing a check in is to make adjustments.  You aren't always going to keep the same goals!  Sometimes you may need to put things on the back burner.  You might acknowledge that it is still something you are interested in pursuing, but right now isn't the right time.  You make a note of it, to check back in later and see if it might be feasible then.

You might just need to adjust how you are working towards something.  I've definitely had to adjust my hows many times!  Sometimes, I found I needed to do things more or less frequently than I had originally intended.  Other times I needed to change the actions I was doing (I have done this with meal prayers MANY times...still working on finding that perfect fit for me!) 

Another technique I have used, for miscellaneous goals and to-do list items was called the unlist, but the idea is you don't actually schedule anything on your unlist.  Instead, you keep one big list of stuff you need to do (things that don't have specific deadlines), and every day you check in with it.  You spend some time, reading each item on the list, and seeing if you feel like working in it.

It's a really interesting approach, that sort of works for me.  The idea is that eventually you will feel like working on a thing, and then you will do it and cross it off your list.  But every single day you are at least reading it and thinking about if you want to do it.  You may also eventually decide you no longer are interested in it, so you cross it off your list.

I have some things that are on my version of an unlist (right now it's my weekly task section of my planner).  Every week, when I plan my week, I put some things on my weekly task list that aren't hard to-do's.  They are things that I would like to work on...sometime.  And I keep writing them down until I either do them or decide to take them off my list. 

What I like about this method is it's sort of passive pressure.  There isn't a pressing need to do things in this section every week.  In fact, some things have been on my weekly task list for months!  But, I feel like I'm not completely neglecting them.  I'm thinking about them at least twice a week (once when I write them down, and again at the end of the week when I check in to see what I've done).

I'm actually using my moon work to check in a lot this year.  Working with specific moons each moon cycle, I go through a whole program of different areas of my life:  family, cravings, body/health, relationships, commitments, 1/2 year check-in, physical world, gratitude/abundance, letting go, animals, protection, cleaning/cleansing.  And, since I'm working these themes with the moon cycles, I'm doing a whole intention, plan, action, adjustment, gratitude, release and rest cycle for each of them...along with a divination spread!

This sort of forces me to evaluate the different areas of my life, which I find really helpful.  But, because I am focusing on one section each cycle, I'm not feeling bombarded by the need to work on all the things all at once.  I can focus on one area of my life, make sure it's balanced and working properly, and see if there is work I need to do in that arena.  Sometimes, I will set whole goals that will carry over and be added into my general routine, while other times I'll work on something during that cycle and then feel like I am good.

Another way to approach this sort of life reflection is often called the level 10 life process.  You take the major areas of your life (typically:  family/friends, personal development, spirituality, finances, career, relationships, fun/recreation, giving/contributions, physical environment, health/fitness), and you rank them all on a scale of 1-10.  Most people recommend graphing this out (using different colors for each!), so that you can see at a glance how fulfilled you are in your life.

Once you have this basic assessment done, you can pick the areas you feel you need to work on most (often the ones you are the least fulfilled in), and set a goal or two for each one on ways you can bring up those levels. 

This is something that is really great to do at least once a year (but you may find it helpful to do several times, or even once a month).  I think it is really easy to just get into our routines, and sometimes we know that we aren't feeling tip top, but it may not be obvious what is wrong.  But, when we check out our life levels, we notice that we really haven't been doing a lot of fun/recreation or personal development.  By shoring up those weak areas, we often find that we feel much more fulfilled in general.

The big thing about taking stock is that you are actively checking in with your life.  You aren't just letting life progress without stepping in and taking control.  It is much easier to let things slip through our fingers when we aren't even aware that they are sliding.  And it is so much easier to stay on top of things when you regularly check in and adjust what needs adjusting.

Remember, there is no shame!  Adjusting doesn't mean failing.  Even choosing to not work on something isn't failing!  Making the choices that are right for you are exactly that...right! 

Moving forward by going slower

I'm a multitasker by nature, I tend to try to do a half a dozen things all at once.  Sometimes I really struggle to focus on just one thing.  But most of the time, it's my desire to do it all, to have it all, my interesting in so many diverse things, that drives me to try to do everything at once.

There is a quote that says something like:  You can't do two things at once as good as you could do each of them separately.  And I think there is a certain validity to this.  Of course, if you can focus your entire attention on something it would benefit from your undivided attention.

Sometimes, we have no choice.  We may have a limited amount of time, or three things may need to be done all at once (you might need to cook dinner, wash dishes and finish putting away the laundry) and if you try to do them one at a time, something doesn't get done.  Typically, however, these are things that don't actually require our full attention.  If I'm not fully engaged in folding the towels, my life isn't going to suffer much from it (now cooking dinner might be a bit more vital!)

Ultimately, it's a sacrifice of quality for quantity.  You accept that you don't need to perform a task at 100%, that perhaps 90% is good enough, and so you manage to do something else at the same time (which also won't be done to it's full potential).

But, other times, we just try to do a bunch of things all at once because we are in the habit of it, because we don't feel like we can slow down, or because we want to have it all...and haven't recognized that we aren't really enjoying any of it because we are splitting our focus.

My own lack of attention is most obvious when I try to listen to  something and do something else at the same time.  Listening for content that is:  listening to a lecture or talking to someone on the phone.  If I am doing something that involves listening and trying to retain memory of what was said, and I do just about anything else at all (even coloring...), I'll realize that I haven't heard a single word that was said.

My son just moved into the dorms, and so I'm now at home, alone, for a good chunk of the week.  And, I don't really have any hard and fast schedules, other than to have dinner ready when hubby gets off work in the evening.  So, I have a lot of leeway in how and when I do things.

What I've been finding is that being able to sit and finish a task, from beginning to end, without interruptions, is really nice!  There is a serenity to knowing that there is absolutely nothing else that needs doing except for the thing I'm focused on. 

I'm also finding that I often end up getting more done by the end of the day.  For me, the real struggle is breaking away from busy tasks at the computer.  Things that I know are wastes of time, or that don't need to be done:  checking my email multiple times during the day, scrolling through Facebook, having multiple tabs/files open on my computer and trying to work on them all at once (I've done this before...had different stories that I was trying to write, at the same time....it was crazy!)

It's easy to dismiss these kinds of things.  After all, if you don't have any new emails, it only takes a few seconds to look, doesn't it?  And scrolling Facebook is like a break, and breaks are good for productivity aren't they?  But, the danger is that they suck you in, and before you know it, you haven't just checked your email once, you've checked it twenty times in the past hour.  And you didn't take a short break and then return to your task, you've been scrolling Facebook for hours!

And then, trying to swap back and forth between tasks creates this sense of tension.  Every time you swap, it's like your brain has to check in with ALL the things you are doing, to make sure that each one is coming along.  This creates a lot of anxiety for me.  I actually like to track my goals for the day, in my planner, with a checklist, because it lets me avoid this need to double-check and make sure I'm getting everything done.  I can just flip to today in my planner, check off anything new that I've finished, and see what is left to be done...and then pick one thing to focus on and not worry about the rest until that one thing is done.

I also find that I'm less likely to get distracted (by things I'm not even doing!) if I'm focusing on just one thing.  If I'm trying to juggle three or four tasks at once, it's very easy to think, "Oh, what's one more to add in?"  But, if I'm tuned in, then it's much easier to remind myself that I need to finish what I've started, and then I can do something else.

One sort of strange observation too is that, when I slow down, and really focus on what I'm doing, the task becomes more fulfilling and less tedious.  I'm not a lover of cleaning, but when I clean, I am now trying to stop thinking about "how quickly can I get this done, ugh I hate cleaning," but instead, taking it like a form of active meditation.  I'm letting myself feel the motions.  I'm thinking about creating a clean and tidy space (which is soothing to me), about refreshing a room, and not about the fact that I'm vacuuming (the thing I dislike most!)

At the end of the day, I find I'm much more content, even if I didn't technically 'do' as many things...if I actually enjoyed the things that I did do.  Rushing through things just to do them just feels like I'm going through the motions.  It's like I'm doing things just to show other people I did them, and not because I actually wanted to do them.  Even the things that I don't necessarily like doing (like cleaning), I appreciate the results of.  A clean house always feels better, so while I may not like the process of cleaning, I still want to do it because I want the house to be clean.

So, if you find yourself constantly stressed and wound up tight because you are trying to juggle everything all at once, try slowing down.  Find one thing, even a small one, that you can do while doing nothing else.  Take a moment or two longer, and really sink into it, don't rush!  Let yourself appreciate the time spent, the actions you are taking, the results you are creating. 

When you do have to do multiple things, see what absolutely has to be done at the same time, and exclude everything else.  If you must do a few things at once, adding more to your plate will make things worse, not easier! 

And don't forget to apply these things to the stuff you really WANT to do too.  If you have a new book you want to read, then carve yourself some time to settle into your favorite place to read, with a lovely drink and just read.  Don't only read while you have food in the oven, or in a waiting room..because your reading will be interrupted and won't feel as indulgent.  And you deserve to indulge yourself!

Cyclic offerings and reverence

I'm not a cleaner.  Don't get me wrong, I clean...but I'm definitely not one of those people who feels the need for everything to be spotless all the time.  I'm actually sort of at odds when it comes to cleaning, because I have some things I am very particular about.  I hate sticky!  I dislike when I touch things and they feel dirty.  I don't like dust on things...but I can live with dust until I have to touch it (or it makes me start sneezing).

Which is good, because with three cats, things are dusty pretty much as soon as I stop cleaning.  I aim for cleaning twice a week...but I can skip one if need be without feeling filthy.  Regular cleaning includes vacuuming, sweeping and of course dusting.  But with a duster.  I don't remove everything off of every shelf, wipe down all the objects, wipe down the shelf and then return everything.  I use a duster, get all the big areas, and then whenever I notice that specific items still look dusty, I'll go in for a more in depth cleaning.

You might be asking yourself what all this has to do with offerings and reverence.  Well, the picture at the top is my computer desk altar.  I like stuff, and I have quite a lot of it!  I like little items, and my sacred spaces are often quite busy. 

I always feel a little guilty when I notice dust on the altar (even when I JUST dusted...literally I can go put the duster away, look back and there will be dust!)  Sometimes I think that if I were 'really' devotional, I would keep my altars tidy and clean...always.  Then I remember I live in the real world, and while I do think that keeping my sacred spaces clean is a sign of reverence, I don't feel like any of the beings I work with expect me to do nothing but clean.

My spirituality is a living one.  I am not a paid priestess in the sense that my main job in this life isn't to tend a temple or attend a particular deity.  I think that idea is super cool, and romantically wonderful, and if I were to find a job that let me do that as a job, yeah, totally sign me up for that!  My spirituality is a part of my regular life, woven in and out with family and personal activities. 

And I'll be brutally honest:  if I wait to do a full clean on my sacred spaces (as I described earlier, taking everything down, wiping/washing each item, wiping the surface and then putting everything back)...well it rarely gets done.  I have the best intentions, but it's one of those things that just builds up in small, tolerable bits, until one day you look up and it's no longer tolerable.

Also, I am not a one-deity gal.  I have my primary God and Goddess that I work with, but I also work with, and have items in my sacred space, for many more.  When I think about altar maintenance and care, I think of honoring the deities involved.  If I had an altar devoted to a single deity, it would be an act of worship to clean and care for that altar.  My current desk altar has close to 20 different beings represented.  Trying to take proper time to honor them all, at one time, would not only be chaotic, but also spiritually exhausting.  I think I would feel, before I got to the end, that I wasn't giving my proper attention to each one, which is not my intention.

So, I've found a way to work around all of this, in a way that works for me.  Since I clean twice a week, I have two opportunities a week to tune into my sacred space, to pick one part of it, one statue or one being, and to give them a good cleanse and devotion.

How this works, practically speaking, is that I take from one to a few things off my altar, and give them a proper cleanse.  If it's something that can be washed, it gets washed.  If it's something that can't be gotten wet, I'll give it a good dry brushing with an old toothbrush (seriously, you need these to clean, they are super handy!).  So, I have a couple of things on my altar that belong to Odin, and would focus on him, cleaning his sections and items, and taking time to tune in, to say prayers and offer my reverence and gratitude up.  Then, next time I clean, I might cleanse the Buddha statue, and rub his belly for luck and abundance.

Over time, everything gets cleaned, and probably more often than it used to, when I tried to do it all at once.  But each part gets focused on, in exclusion.  It's like spending one on one time with each of your friends, instead of trying to maintain the friendships only by meeting with all your friends at once.

I do think that spiritual work should sometimes include work.  I don't seek to avoid effort or time, but I do seek to find ways to make things work for me, so that I can really give each action my proper attention.  I don't want to be skimming through or just going through the motions when it comes to spiritual work (now when it comes to vacuuming, yes, I can tune out and just get through it!)

The beauty of breaking things into small actions is it removes most of the obstacles.  I may legitimately not have time or energy to do a full cleaning of my sacred spaces (yes spaces, I have multiples!), but I can take a few minutes to clean one thing, to speak to one being, to offer up one prayer.  And the next time, I can do it again, to a different deity, spirit or ancestor.  And one by one, everyone gets time and attention.  One, small step at a time.

Glamour-bombing!

Glamour-bombing is a practice that is pretty new to me, at least in that name.  I learned of the term from a forum post, where you leave little bits of magic and wonder out in the world, for other people to find.  There are a lot of very similar practices to this, which all boil down to: doing nice things for strangers.

This is a trend that I've seen in many forms recently, and I think it's brilliant.  Several years back, Pay it Forward was the catch phrase, and it was often more tied up in actually paying for things.  You might buy a coffee for the person standing behind you in line, or give your pocket change to the person in front of you at the store, because they were going to put back something they couldn't afford.  During the height of the hype, I even saw sets of bracelets being sold with the intention of passing them out to anyone who admired them.  One manifestation of Pay it Forward that I loved was leaving little love notes with a dollar paper-clipped to them in dollar stores, for either kids or adults to find!

But, it doesn't have to be something monetary.  There are tons of beautiful stories on the internet that illustrate the Pay it Forward principle, where someone was having a rough day, but decided to do something really small, even as little as smiling at someone they passed on the bus, but that person then felt a little better and decided to hold the elevator for someone who was rushing to catch it.  Each act of kindness builds into a bigger chain reaction, as each person does a tiny bit more for the next person.  In the stories, it always loops around and the very first person will receive something lovely, and it all started with their simple act of kindness.

While this makes a beautifully heart touching story, I think it rarely manifests as cleanly as this.  When we do nice things for other people, it's not about thinking what we will get in return.  But we do get something back!  If I am having a horrible day, but I'm out in public, I don't want to share my moodiness with other people, so I'll make a point of trying to smile at strangers and do nice things (because if I don't make the effort, I know I'll just be grumpy and kind of mean).  Just by doing these things, with the intention of being nice to other people, I tend to feel better myself....especially if people respond with a smile or a thank you, it just makes me feel good!

There is a practice called geocaching that I think is super fun.  It's like a huge treasure hunt, where people make and hide caches of stuff, all kinds of little treasures to find.  You go hunting and you can trade something of your own for something you find.  I think it's brilliant!


I really love the idea of anonymous surprises best of all.  Inspirational rock painting has become really popular lately.  Our library has even hosted rock painting workshops.  Not only do you paint the rock, often with a word like Love or Believe on it, or a short message like "You are beautiful," or "You are worth it," but then you go out and stick it somewhere for someone else to find.

You could do the same thing with cards or small works of art.  Draw or paint a little picture, write an uplifting message on the back, and then stash it somewhere to brighten someone's day.  Leave Valentines at the bus station, or notes of encouragement in doctor's waiting rooms! 

Going back to the Glamour-bomb idea, when you add in magic, there is so much more you can do.  Any of these acts can be blessed and dedicated to helping the person who finds it.  Infuse your rock with prosperity energy, bless your picture to bring healing to the person who sees it, or perhaps your note will carry the intention of banishing worry and stress from whoever reads it.

I read an article a while back, about a woman who performs Reiki on her city.  I think that sometimes, we think about the natural world, our focus is there, and not on the people and the modern world around us.  We do ritual and make offerings to the moon or deities, but we can also bless and energize the city we live in.

This opens up SO many nifty options for magic work and blessing!  If we are stopped at a red light, we can send our intention to the light, to keep everyone safe as they navigate the intersection.  When we shop, we can bless the checkout lanes, so that things run smoothly and everyone stays calm.

When I first started working with the loving-kindness meditation, I read that you start with yourself, then when you are comfortable filling yourself with loving-kindness energy, you can share it with your loved ones.  Then with strangers, then your enemies.  I think magic work can do the same!  We often wait until things impact our lives, until we are kicked in the rear and prompted to respond, but we can be proactive and spread magic to bring joy and delight into other people's lives, whether we know them or not!


I want to live in a world where everyone wants to help other people.  Where we are invested in each other, where the ultimate goal is for everyone to be happy and fulfilled.  And I truly think the way to get there is by helping each other.  If we only focus on our own struggles, we only help ourselves.  And while we might be able to struggle through on our own most of the time, sometimes we need help.  If we never help other people, how can we expect other people to help us? 

Instead, if we do what we can to lift other people up, they can in turn help even more people.  When one person is having a bad day, there are dozens to help them through it!  And once they are back on their feet, they can help someone else who needs them.  If we are all neck deep in the muck, we can't help anyone!

So go out, and bring joy to strangers!  Find small ways to leave surprises that will make someone smile.  Bless everything!  And Glamour-bomb the world!