I have been functionally solitary for my entire path. While I have, and definitely enjoyed, working with others, the majority of what I do is done alone. I firmly believe that you can have a full and complete practice while solitary, but many rituals, especially life transitions and Sabbats are portrayed as group celebrations. It can sometimes feel like you are missing something by celebrating alone.
There is a definitely difference to participating in a group ritual, and even a difference between a small, intimate group ritual and a large ritual with many people. Rituals with close friends feel different than rituals with strangers. While I haven't been to any huge rituals (I would say that the largest I have attended was just around twenty people), I have been to a decent variety over the years.
I have always felt that one of the best things about being a solitary practitioner is that you can do whatever works best for you! You don't have to worry about catering to everyone's needs, making rituals that work for people of different paths or practices, or even about doing things in front of other people. You can dress how you like, speak in whatever way is comfortable and use tools that may be too private for use with others.
But you can still create a celebratory atmosphere! And if you desire, you can blur some of the lines between solitary practice and group work, using technology, if you are unable to physically be with others but still want to ritual together.
It can be sort of tempting to go simpler, when you are working by yourself. Pulling out the stops is definitely work! It's sort of like eating alone....if I am the only one in the house, I am more likely to grab whatever food is handy and eat while doing something else, than to actually sit down and take time out for a meal...and I am highly unlikely to pull out candles and set a nice table for myself. Which, when you stop and think about it, is sort of a shame. You may not make a big deal out of things every time you do them alone, but it is definitely worth taking time for special rituals over the course of a year, even if you only do ritual alone.
When I am planning a full ritual for myself, the first thing I think about is the theme: what is the ritual about. I honor the Sabbats, and to me they are a great time for celebratory ritual. I don't always do work at a Sabbat ritual. It is more about honoring the time of the year and the energy I associate with that particular festival. If I have work that aligns with it, I can definitely add it in, but I may just take some time to enjoy the ritual process.
The theme will dictate all the other facets of the ritual you plan. Beltane has a completely different energy and theme than Samhain. If you aren't sure, read up on the ritual you want to create! I love reading other people's rituals, though I don't often use them exactly as they are. But by reading a ritual someone else has put together, you can get a feel for not only the theme of the ritual but also the flow of it, which can be helpful if you are just starting out.
Once I have a feel for the theme of the ritual I want to do, I think about space: where am I going to do my ritual. I often have constraints on my ritual space. When hubby is sleeping, I don't have access to the bedroom. If hubby and/or son are home and awake, I prefer not to use the living room...I like my privacy and to be able to create the atmosphere I like. We don't have an outdoor space that is private, so ritual outdoors is not really an option.
What I can do is alter a space to create an atmosphere. I like doing rituals in the bedroom, as we have a large dresser that I can use as a working space. But I also have a couple of large cloths (tablecloth's and blankets with different patterns) that I can lay out on the living room floor to create atmosphere. I have quite a collection of candles in different colors, so I will pick ones that match. I have also been collecting candle holders and decorative bowls/plates for ritual use (I love looking at second hand stores for holiday/seasonal themed items...or shopping the post holiday sales!)
If you, like me, are doing your ritual indoors, it can be lovely to have flowers or other natural elements inside. You can have them in a vase, or lay them out on your altar space, or create the boundary of your circle with them! When you are done with your indoor ritual, you could also take the flowers outside and create a mandala offering with them!
Music is another great tool to creating a festive atmosphere. There are some very beautiful Pagan singers and amazing chant tracks that can add a lot of power to your ritual. But you aren't limited to purely Pagan sounds! You can go with nature sounds, from rain to animals to thunderstorms. Or, you could pick songs that remind you of the seasons (great for Yule), or songs that remind you of your theme (there is nothing wrong with using pop music in ritual). You may find that you are drawn to a particular mood with your music. Some rituals may call for more somber or mellow music, while others are perfectly suited for upbeat dancing songs!
One feature that is common at a lot of group rituals is the feast. This may be a part of the actual ritual, in the form of offerings or the sharing of 'cakes and ale' (which doesn't actually have to be cake and alcohol, but is typically some kind of bread-stuff and some kind of drink) or the feast may be part of the social aspect and take place after the ritual is over. Either way, there is no reason not to include food and drink in your solitary rituals.
If you like baking, there are many recipes that can be used for a ritual offering. Both cookies and breads have so many varieties, you can easily find one that matches your theme. You can also go for more of a full feast, and cook a meal to honor the theme of the ritual. And don't forget the drink! If you do drink alcohol, that is a very traditional offering, but if you don't, then consider juice or tea...or just pick your favorite, indulgent drink! The main thing for me, with ritual food, is that it needs to either be something that is significant to the ritual I am doing, the deities invoked, or a special food for me. I don't just pick whatever is in my cabinet or whatever leftovers in the fridge need eaten up (unless that seems ritually significant!)
And don't forget to dress! When I was starting out, the idea of skyclad was very prevalent. It was mentioned in about every book, especially for group work. But it is something that many people aren't comfortable with, especially in a group with people you don't know well. On your own, it can take on a whole new meaning. Many of us (myself included) aren't always accepting of our own bodies, and spending time unclothed in sacred space can help bring that feeling of sacredness into our own body.
You absolutely don't have to go that route if you don't want to though! You could also dress up: put on your favorite outfit, or create a look to go with your theme. Add jewelry, do makeup if you are so inclined, a dab of your favorite scent. Treat it like the special occasion it is! I love dressing up for ritual, even if I am by myself. It helps me step out of my ordinary life and really mark it as an occasion (particularly as I don't 'dress up' that often in my regular life).
You can even add symbols, designs or words drawn on your body. Use makeup pencils or liquid eyeliner to do fine lines. You can do larger areas with bold face paint (like the kind that is all over at Halloween). You can do a full mask or just small areas. There are no limits! Decorating the body can be both deeply spiritual and great fun.
And, you don't have to be fully alone! There are many ways to connect electronically, and share ritual space that way. You can connect with one or more people over the phone and share your ritual through sound. Or you can set up a camera or use video on your phone to connect visually as well. Even rituals done through text, in a chat room or messenger, can be quite moving, especially if everyone has created their own ritual space ahead of time and follows along with actions as you go.
For me, many rituals are meant to be celebrations, and just because we walk our path alone, doesn't mean we can't celebrate! Find ways that speak to you, do things that make ritual special, pull out all the stops and create amazing ritual space JUST for yourself!
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