So, I am a newly freed adult (son is off to college), and I work from home (both writing and freelance captioning)...which means that my days are pretty much entirely in my hands. Whether I get things done or not falls squarely on my shoulders. I don't have daily schedules that I have to follow (unless I decide to make them!), and while I do still have household duties, I can mostly decide how and when I want to do them.
Which leaves me with HUGE chunks of time that I need to deal with. Without outside influence, it is very easy to just let things slide...to not work on the things that need to be worked on because there is something more fun that I want to do, or because I got busy doing something else and 'forgot'.
I actually talked with my son about this, before he went off to college. Because it is something he will be having to explore and figure out what works best for him. He will still, of course, have some structure: classes will happen at specific times and he will have assignments that are due on certain dates. But, he will have more large projects and more large breaks in his schedule, and he'll have to sort out how to keep himself on track...because we aren't there to remind him!
This is a big step in adulting. We often don't prepare people for this! Kids always feel like the rules and restrictions they have aren't fair and aren't fun, and they think that when they grow up they can do whatever they want, whenever they want to do it and it will be awesome.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love having the freedom to pick and choose when to do things. But I also know that I feel bad if I don't get things done when they need to be done. And sometimes, being the adult means choosing to do the work instead of playing. Which isn't always fun.
Hubby has been on vacation this past week. He works hard, and he plays hard! On his days off, he tends to go all-in on his hobbies, and it can be hard to not feel a little jealous, especially when he's doing something that I want to be doing too...but I know that I need to clean house or work on my writing, or do one of the other things that I also need/want to do.
And that is another hard part of adulting: setting priorities when it's all things you want to do! I have a lot of interests, and trying to find time to do them all is pretty much impossible. So, sometimes I have to make the hard choices, and decide which of my interests I am going to feed, and how much.
I am very blessed to have work that I enjoy. I love writing (even when it's fighting me LOL), and I love being able to get my thoughts on (virtual hehe) paper and send them out in the world. It is very fulfilling to me. I also get immense satisfaction looking back at the body of work I've made.
In the early days, I wasn't so good at maintaining the weekly blog. I would let other things get in my way, or I'd forget (it now gets scheduled into my paper planner and my planner app!) and even when I did sit down to write, it felt like I needed to write BIG important stuff! I forgot that it's a blog, and it's really my thoughts and perspective, so it can be full of ME and be amazing!
I almost never pre-write. Only one or two times along the years have I written my blog before the day I'm posting it. A few times when I was on vacation, I would work on it during the week, since I had NO control over when I could sit and write, and once or twice when I had big, all-day commitments, then I would write it ahead of time.
That is one of the benefits of proper adulting...things get easier! The more you do something, the better you get at it. I don't stress about blogging anymore. I don't stress about NaNo anymore....after ten years of pushing through, I have learned SO much about my limits and how much I can accomplish when I set my mind to it, that I know I can make it to the end. I am going to be finishing up my second year of monthly stories this month, and boy was that a new challenge!
And, you know, I think that is one of the great things about adulting. No one recognizes all those things that you do, day in and day out. The really ordinary, grindy, work stuff. The really hard adulting stuff! You need to sometimes take a step back and recognize yourself!
There is this set of really amusing 'adulting reward stickers' that I've seen floating around Facebook. And while they make me laugh, I think that sometimes we need those kinds of reminders. So yes, absolutely celebrate all your adulting wins! Did you make the bed when you got up in the morning....go you! Did you get all the dishes washed and dealt with before going to sleep at night, that's a win! Did you clean the house, even though you were tired and really didn't want to? That deserves a cheer!
Don't forget all those things you do that are good for you too. Did you stay home and rest because you were tired instead of going to that party that sounded fun? That's some great self-care right there! Did you go to bed early, even though there was only two more episodes left in that show you were binging, because you knew that if you stayed up to watch it you'd be grumpy the next day? Way to adult like a pro!
It sounds trivial, but it's one of those grains of sand things. Each grain of sand might be tiny, and not really heavy, but if you add a grain of sand every minute of every day, it adds up. And most adulting things are like that...they never stop, they keep coming, and by themselves they aren't hard or taxing. But at the end of a long day (week....month....year....life....) when you are already worn down and tired, and you know that tomorrow will just bring more grains of sand, that the flow never stops, and you see that one thing that is out of place and needs put up and the thought of moving it is absolutely exhausting. That is when you need to pull out the big adulting guns and step up....or make a conscious choice that it is better to let things lie than to break yourself down.
That is what adulting boils down to...for me. Making the hard choices in life, and making them consciously. I am okay with not being able to do it all, but I want it to be my choice, not just the one that life has thrust upon me because I avoided making a decision.
So, for everyone else out there, who is struggling with adulting.....know you are not alone! Know that it is hard, it is never-ending, and yes sometimes it's the choice between two things you love....or two things you hate. But when you step up, when you make that choice, you have won at adulting!
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