Emotion based goal setting

Many of us were taught about setting goals when we were little.   We were told to figure out what we wanted, and then to sort out how we were going to get it.  We were shown how to break a goal down into more manageable steps, and how to make a plan so that we could get where we wanted to go.

And sometimes, this works out perfectly.  We keep our eyes on the prize, we know we have divided up the work, and that if we just keep at it, we will get what we want.

But sometimes, this process doesn't work so well.  Maybe the thing we thought we wanted was just a placeholder, something that we were using to fill a hole inside us, and we weren't really sure what we actually needed.  Or perhaps, somewhere along the way, we found something even better than our original goal, and now we were faced with a choice.  Or perhaps we really did want the thing we were after, but it was so very far away that the work needed seemed insurmountable, even though we had it separated into smaller bits, it was just hard to get started.

Most of us are used to setting result based goals:  we have a thing we want and that is our goal.  But other times, especially when it comes to our spiritual path, our goals are more ephemeral.  We want to find peace or we want to develop a connection with a deity.  We may not be sure how to word these things as goals, or what we can do to work towards them.  And instead of becoming goals, they stay as dreams and wishes, and we find ourselves continually gazing at them from afar, without knowing how to get closer.

The very best goals are fueled by emotions.  Even when they are very concrete and 'easy' to accomplish, like if your goals is to write down three things you are grateful for every day, the reason you want to do this is based on an emotion.  You want to feel grateful, and so you set yourself a goal to express that gratitude.

But other times, you may not know what the underlying emotion is at first.  Perhaps you have always wanted to read tarot cards, and your goal is to be able to do readings.  But you keep putting it off, because every time you start looking into it, you are inundated with hundreds of decks, so many different meanings, different ways of interpreting cards, and even dozens of symbols within each card.  You are overwhelmed, and you set it aside. 

If you take the time to explore the emotion behind wanting to be able to read cards, you may find that your focus in working on your goal changes.  Instead of just having the goal of reading cards, you have the goal of being able to read cards because you really want to help people, or maybe you just feel very insecure and have a hard time making choices and you want reassurance that your choices are good, or you might just think that it looks fun!  All of these emotions are valid reasons to want to learn to read cards!

Now, when you think about learning the cards, you can remind yourself of the emotional reason for it.  If your desire is to help others, you find some friends who you can practice with, and focus on them.  If you are seeking reassurance, you might focus on tarot journaling, and make your learning very introspection driven.  And if you are looking for fun, you might just look for whatever seems the most fun, and turn your study into play!

The emotion you are seeking becomes your focus, and this is what keeps you coming back to your goals, it is what helps you do the work, even when it feels like you aren't moving forward, or when it feels like the work will never end.

You can also start with the emotion, and then build your goal around it.  So, perhaps you are wanting to grow in your practice, but aren't sure exactly what you want to reach towards.  But you know that you want to develop a deeper connection, to feel more in tune with the world around you. 

Knowing this is how you want to feel, you can start brainstorming things that you could do that make you feel that way.  You might have to start with exploration activities, things designed to help you really notice what types of things make you feel the most connected.  From there, you can work on ways to include more of these in your life.  You can also look into practices or activities that are similar to the ones that light you up and make you feel the way you want to. 

The best thing about emotion based goal setting is that the physical outcome is secondary.  If your goal is to have fun with tarot, then it doesn't matter if you have memorized all the meanings of the Arcana.  If you can pull out your deck, and have a good time while using it..then you have met your goal!  If your goal was to be more connected with the world around you, and you find even one way to tap into that connection, you are living your goal!

There is no outside 'win or fail' condition.  Every day, when you work on your goal, you have the opportunity to tap into the feeling you are wanting to cultivate.  Every single time you experience that feeling, you are succeeding!  Even if someone observing from the outside might not realize you are progressing...you are, because you are bringing more of your desired emotions into your life.

So, the next time you set a goal, think about the emotion that is fueling it.  When you want to move forward, but aren't sure what to aim for, consider picking an emotion to strive towards.  And when you look at the steps you have laid out, find ways to infuse your desired emotion into each and every one of them.  And you will be surprised by how much more you will get from your goals!