Labels don't define you, but they are useful!

 Labels are tricky.  Our brains like things neat and tidy, and labels allow us to quickly group 'like' things together.  And yet, we often over-identify with labels (either ones we have claimed ourselves or ones other people have slapped on us).  We seem to forget that a label can apply to us but we are not the label (or at least the label isn't all we are).

I've seen a lot of different thoughts on labels, and the words by which we call ourselves, but to me, labels always remind me of stereotypes and first impressions.  Most people think that stereotypes are harmful, and if you try to lock people into stereotype boxes, then yes, they definitely are harmful.  But at the same time, we acknowledge that making a good first impression is important, because we understand how much that initial meeting flavors the rest of our interactions.

Both of those things stem from a very real and very useful survival mechanism.  When we encounter something new, we have a split second to judge whether or not it is dangerous.  We rely upon our first impression (which is mostly visual, though sometimes you can add in what is said or done in your first encounter with a thing or person).  We then compare that information with our stored banks of categories (stereotypes), to help us decide if the new thing is good or bad.

Now, we live in a different world than our ancestors did.  For most of us, meeting a new person isn't a life or death situation.  I pretty much never think "is this person going to try to kill me?" when I meet someone, no matter how shady the situation is.  But we still lean on this basic labeling information to tell us how to react to people.

Labels are a bit like nesting dolls.  We sit inside a series of larger and larger labels.  The ones closest to us are the most specific, and the ones further away are the most broad.  For example, I am half-Chinese, which makes me part-Asian, which also makes me human and a living being.  Any one of those labels are true, but at each level more and more 'other' things are excluded.  If I just think of myself as a living being, I can look around and both the cats and the tree outside are the 'same' as me, while the chair I'm sitting on and the sky above me are different.  But if I am thinking of myself as half-Chinese, I am different from a Japanese person, an Irish person, a full-blooded Chinese person, the cat, the tree, the chair and the sky.

By grouping things (by their labels) in our heads as 'same' or 'different' from ourselves, we create a range of distance between us.  We are more likely to empathize with things we feel closer to, the ones we share more labels with, than those that are different.  

Thee biggest problem arises when we allow those labels to be all we know about a thing.  Labels are meant to be starting points, not ending points.  They aren't circles we draw around ourselves declaring everyone inside the circle, those who are 'like' us, as our allies and everyone outside as enemies.  Just because we don't share labels doesn't mean we can have deep and meaningful interactions.

And I feel like this problem arises because we rely to much on labels and we never recalibrate our understanding of a thing.  Think about it like this.  As a child, many of us didn't care too much for vegetables.  When I think back on shared eating experiences, I think of school lunch, and I'll be honest, the vegetables we got in school lunches left a lot to be desired.  If that is your formative experience with eating vegetables, you won't be favorably inclined when introduced to a new vegetable.  Also, sometimes our first exposure to a thing isn't showcasing it in the best light.  If my first experience eating Lima beans was to have them overcooked and somewhat gritty, I  might decide I don't like them.  They would go into the box in my brain for 'foods I don't like'.  And if I assume that label is a Truth, I won't ever try Lima beans again, because I don't like them...right?

But this is why it's important to not limit ourselves with labels!  Because sometimes, we try old things in new ways, and we love them.  Or we start to realize that the labels we were working with are outdated, they were things we set up as children, and when we grew up, we just never went back.  But even as adults, we can come to realize that labels are grouping tools, not hard Truth.  Stereotypes are a trap, because of course all Lima beans aren't like the ones we had as a kid.  

What we have to learn to do is acknowledge the meaning of the label, and then make sure we are actually seeing what is happening now.  If I have had a lot of bad experiences with large dogs, I might be cautious every time I see one.  But there are quite a few large dogs that are very gentle and friendly, and by treating them all as if they were viscous, I would be denying myself the opportunity to pet the nice ones.  It is one thing to be cautious, because my past experiences would tell me that I was in a dangerous situation, when meeting a big dog for the first time...I might not want to rush forward and try to cuddle it.  It's an entirely different thing to allow my labeling of the dog to make me avoid it entirely (or worse, treat it as if it's already attacked me).

The most important thing to remember, when thinking about labels, is that labels are useful but they don't define you (or anyone else).  Labels allow us to group things together, but just as every orange in a bushel of oranges won't taste exactly the same (some might be sweeter, some might be sour, one might have rotten spots), not every thing we have clumped together in a label is the same.  We have to start from the label, but then let our experiences in that particular moment guide us.  Or else we are blinding ourselves to the possibilities!

Love: staying in

 If there is something that can be said about the recent times it's that there are so many lessons to be learned.  We build up these habits, ways of doing things that feel familiar to us, and when we are forced out of those well-ingrained patterns, we find ourselves really faced with recognizing not only the bits we really loved, but also the bits that just didn't work.

With a big winter storm outside my windows (not to mention the ongoing pandemic...), the need to stay in is great.  But Valentine's day just came and went, and this is a hard time for a lot of people.  Society has built this holiday up to a crazy level, where if you are in a relationship it's expected that you do something grand and elaborate to 'show' your love, and if you aren't in a relationship you often just feel excluded and alone.  So may places in my local town are closed, and the usual 'date night' options just aren't as viable, especially if you have anyone in your close family who has to take extra precautions.  And if you are on your own this year, the extended isolation we have all been feeling might be highlighting an already difficult time.

But there is something really cool about staying in, whether you are alone or with the person (or people) you care most about.  Perhaps it's the introvert in me speaking, but I love having the fridge stocked with favorite foods (or picking up some great takeout), and then knowing we don't have to go anywhere.  Maybe we will watch a movie or play a game, or just sit and talk.  I definitely know it's the introvert in me talking when I say I also enjoy days like this when I'm all alone!

The key is to make it special.  Especially if you've been staying in for a while already, you don't want to just do the stuff you ordinarily do.  Take the time to make dinner special, whether you cook an absolute favorite comfort food, some fancy thing that you don't normally do or something completely new that sounds fascinating.  Don't just toss on the show you have been watching, but pick a movie (and why not make some popcorn or have snacks with it).  

I read something interesting recently.  When all the crazy started last year, people were expecting the stay at home orders to create a new baby boom.  The thought was that with everyone home and with nothing better to do, people would be getting it on and thus boom...babies!  But what they have found is the exact opposite.  There are less babies being born that usual, and the new thought is that being forced to stay around each other means people are annoying their partners, so less baby-making is going on.  

Now, whether you want to get your sexy on or not, the truth of the matter is that often times familiarity breeds boredom, and boredom breeds apathy.  When you are always home, and always with the same person, it can be hard to get as excited about things as when you didn't see them as often.  Plus, many people equate staying home with 'don't have to put forth any effort', and they may dress in their comfortable (but not as attractive) clothing, or not put on makeup or do their normal grooming routine.  Pretty much abandoning everything you would normally do for date night.  I don't typically do a lot of makeup type stuff, but I realized the other day that I haven't painted my nails in over a year...that's definitely a change from the last few years where I tried to paint them at least once a month.

It's worth taking the time to make things special now and again.  It doesn't matter if you are doing it solely for yourself or if there is a partner (or family) involved.  Setting aside a day or evening as a special time can be highly rejuvenating.  Think of it as a ritual recharging time...whether you are recharging your own self-love or the love you feel for another person, love takes effort, you can't just say the words and have that be enough.

If we continue to think of it as a formal ritual, what does that entail?  Well, I'm a big food person, so I would definitely plan some kind of special food.  It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive, but it needs to be thoughtful.  One of my favorite special treats for myself is brie and English muffins.  It's something I tend to get myself on holidays, because I just really enjoy it.  Pick up a drink that you adore as well, something that makes you happy when you have it.

And then we get to the ritual bath!  Here, I'm not just talking about the actual bath/shower, but the whole grooming process.  Do what you would do for a nice occasion, so maybe shave, put on a bit of scent, do your hair.  And by all means, make it a nice experience, so bust out the bath bubbles, put on some nice music, and let yourself sink into the cleansing process.  

Take care in picking your clothes.  Now, you don't have to go super fancy here, especially if you are by yourself, but maintain that mindfulness.  Clothes are a way we use to express ourselves, so make sure to ask yourself what your clothes are saying about you.  Even if you are alone, you want your clothes to make you feel powerful, attractive, loved and worthy.  If you love getting dressed up, go for it!  Put on that fancy dress or the pants that make your legs look amazing.  Even if you only dress for part of your evening (maybe you want to get super cozy later on with leggings and a sweater because it makes you feel SO at home!), the one thing you want to avoid is anything that makes you feel sloppy, or bad about yourself.  I'm a leggings girl, but I definitely have my nice leggings and the ones that have seen a few too many washes and are probably best only worn around the house.

And finally...do something that makes you happy.  This is highly personal, and could be anything from doing a craft, reading, watching sports or a movie, playing games, talking, or anything under the sun that you enjoy.  Take some time to really think about what you would love to have more time to do, and see if you can find a way to do it.  Sometimes you might have to do something adjacent to what you really would like.  As much as I might like to be traveling around the world, that's just not in the cards right now, but there are some amazing travel shows that are pretty great to watch!

We have a double standard of time and money that we apply to activities.  A lot of people think nothing of spending a chunk of change on a dinner at a restaurant, but they wouldn't buy a pricey steak to cook at home (even if it only costs a fraction of the amount the dinner out would).  We will spend money to watch a movie in a theater but not to rent one online.  We will spend a hour getting ready to go out, but don't want to spend time getting 'fancy' to stay in.

And yet, when we do these things, when we take the time and effort to make a home experience something out of the ordinary, it can be amazing!  We can transform our house and our selves and make the most of what we have, and it often doesn't take a whole lot more than setting the intention and working towards it.  You may be surprised what you can create, when you put your mind to it!

Chinese New Year: Year of the Ox!

 

 Being half-Chinese, Chinese New Year is something that has always been a part of my life.  Since I was a child, I knew that it meant shiny red and gold envelopes with a bit of money inside, and as I grew older I learned about the lucky foods, fireworks and other things associated with the celebration.

What a lot of people don't know, but are learning, is how important this holiday is in China.  It is not simply a single day (and eve) like the calendar New Year, but a whole series of smaller days known as the Spring Festival:  the 15 days it takes to navigate from the New Moon on New Year's day to the Full Moon of the Lantern Festival.  It sort of reminds me of the 12 days of Yuletide.  While there are many variations in how the different days are celebrated, there are themes to each of the days, and often certain activities are encouraged (or discouraged).

Before we even get to the New Year's Eve, we find ourselves at the end of the lunar cycle before.  Referred to as "Little Year", it is often seen as the beginning of the Spring Festival celebration.  Little Year is typically observed on the 23rd or 24th day of the previous lunar cycle, and is dedicated to honoring the Kitchen God and cleaning house.  It is a way of saying goodbye to the old year, of sweeping away the bad luck that might have accumulated and making your home ready for the good luck of the coming year (it is considered unlucky to clean at the start of the New Year, as you might sweep away that year's good luck).

The most important dinner of the year occurs on New Year's Eve and is known as the Reunion dinner.  It is a time for family members to gather together and celebrate.  Favorite foods are prepared, alongside foods that are considered auspicious or lucky.  There are many foods that are looked upon favorably, often because their name has significant meaning.  For example, whole steamed fish is a very common dish, the word for fish also symbolizes surplus, so eating fish is thought to be a symbol of always having more than you wished for.  It is eaten whole to ensure a good start and finish.  Homophones (words that sound alike) are also seen as signs, so since the word for chicken is a homophone for good luck, chicken is seen as a dish to bring good luck.  But shape can also come into play.  Dumplings are shaped like gold ingots, and so are eaten to usher in wealth and prosperity.  Reunion dinner is also when the red envelopes are given to children and elders.  Firecrackers are lit to scare away evil spirits.

The first day of the Spring Festival is the actual Chinese New Year day.  It is the day of Heaven and Earth, and is thought to be a representation of the coming year.  Historically, it was a time to look to the heavens (the weather, the stars and moon) and predict the fortunes of the year.  It is also a time to honor your elders, and visit (or call) your parents, grand-parents and other senior members of your family.

The second day is a day of visiting family, traditionally when married daughters would visit their birth family and friends (especially in times when travel was less frequent and it might be the only time of the year they could 'return home').  The daughter would bring her husband and children to her parent's home, with small gifts which where a symbol of missing her hometown.  Today, it might be a day to visit with friends and family, and small gifts would be exchanged between the guests and the hosts.

The third day was considered an unlucky day for socializing, because the risk of disagreements was higher, and so was a day to stay home.  There is also some connections with folklore that indicates this was the day that rats would marry, so people would leave small offerings to the rats and try not to disturb their 'weddings', and in return the rats would not disturb them throughout the rest of the year.

On the fourth day, it is thought that gods and spirits (like the Kitchen God or the God of Wealth) will visit earth, and so a big feast and offerings are made to these deities to help ensure a prosperous year.  According to Chinese mythology, when the world was created, it was on the fourth day that sheep were made, and so it is forbidden to slaughter sheep on this day.  And if the weather is nice, it is seen as a sign that the sheep will be healthy and this will lead to a bountiful harvest.

The fifth day is the God of Wealth's birthday, and it marks the day when many of the New Year's taboos (such as the avoidance of sweeping) may be broken.  Many businesses will reopen on this day, though some people feel you should stay in, just in case the God of Wealth comes a calling.

The sixth day is horse's day (when horse was created), and is the day on which you drive away the Ghost of Poverty.  All the garbage from the festival is thrown out, along with any old clothing.  Another belief is that the God of Bathrooms will visit this day, so it is best to make sure everything is clean for his arrival.

The seventh day marks the creation of humans, and can be viewed as a collective birthday (the day when we all grow one year older).  This is a good day to eat healthy foods or foods symbolizing prosperity and long life.  Long noodles are seen as a symbol of long life, the longer the noodle the better!

The eighth day is the birthday of millet or rice, and as such it is a day to honor agriculture.  Some families visit farms and take this day as a time to teach children to appreciate the farmer's hard work and to become more aware of the environment and our impact upon it.

The ninth day is the birthday of the Jade Emperor, who is considered to be the ruler of the heavens.  Offerings may be laid out, and it is considered quite important to bathe first, as a sign of respect.  One interesting offering is sugar cane.  Legend tells that people hid from pirates in a sugarcane plantation on the Jade Emperor's birthday, and because the word for sugarcane is similar to the word for 'thank you' it is seen as an offering of gratitude.

The tenth day celebrates the God of Stone (the word ten and the word for rock share a pronunciation).  Because of this, you should avoid moving any stones, like stone rollers, mills or mortars on this day.  It is also not a day to build a house with rocks or cut into a mountain (basically avoid doing things that would hurt rock!)

 

The eleventh day is a day when father's traditionally invite their daughter and son-in-law to eat a meal. As there are always lots of leftovers from the Jade Emperor's birthday celebrations, leftovers are eaten on this day.

The next couple of days are general feasting days and used to prepare for the Lantern Festival.  They are spent visiting with friends and family, getting ready for the culmination of the Spring Festival, and just filled with general merriment.  The thirteenth day may be a day of lighter fare, where vegetarian dishes are favored to help sooth digestive systems and give them a break after all the heavy and rich foods eaten previously.  

Finally, on the fifteenth day, the Lantern Festival is held.  Candles might be lit to help guide wayward spirits home.  Riddles might be written on lanterns, and whoever figures out the answer will be granted a prize by the owner of the lantern.  Because the word for lantern sounds like the word for 'add children', it is a time to ask for blessings of childbirth.  It also holds many similarities to Valentine's day, as a day when unmarried people could meet or seek a romantic partner.

As you can see, there is a lot going on during these festivals!  But Chinese New Year also ushers in a new zodiac animal.  In the Chinese zodiac, instead of each month having a sign, each year does.  2021 is the year of the ox, and more specifically the year of the metal ox (each year is given an elemental association alongside it's zodiac animal).

Ox is said to rank second among the zodiac animals.  According to legend, the Jade Emperor was going to order the zodiac animals based on what order they arrived in.  Ox decided to be kind and give Rat a ride, but when they were arriving, Rat jumped ahead, and so took the first place in the order, putting Ox second.

Ox represents honesty, strength, dependability and determination.  They are patient and will keep working towards their goal, often having a detailed plan.  They aren't much influenced by others or the world around them, though they can also be quite stubborn.  With the addition of the metal influence, we can expect early struggles, but a comfortable financial state later on.  This is an interesting forecast for the coming year, and I think a lot of people will look forward to this slow, but steady progress and stability.

Chinese New Year is a fascinating time, and I hope you enjoyed this little peek into what it means.  There is a lot more to discover, and if you find it interesting I hope you will learn more and explore the many different facets of this festival and it's associated meanings.

Imbolc: honoring the home

 Imbolc heralds the spring and new growth, but as it is also associated with Brigid, it has deep connections to the hearth and home.  Home is something that is much more than just the roof over our heads.  It is a feeling of being safe and secure, of fitting in....it is a place that we belong to.  And this is the perfect time to honor that home!

It is really easy to take our home for granted.  We see all the pictures of fancy houses online, and maybe we wish we had a little more room.  We see perfectly sculpted gardens and we might wish our yard was more well kempt.  We see designer interiors and we wonder if we will ever see all of our floor or if it's time to replace those pillows that are getting a bit ragged.  

Many of us started off with very little.  Whether we were going away to college, joining the military or moving into our very first apartment, we probably didn't have a full set of anything, let alone enough to fill a home.  We might not have had much money...or we may have thought that it was much more fun to spend what we did have on fun things...not on stuff like silverware and furniture.

And then you blink and turn around and years (decades?) have passed and you maybe realize that you still have a good chunk of hand-me-down or second-hand stuff.  Now, there is nothing wrong with previously owned things!  I'm a huge fan of not only vintage stuff (old things have their own charm...) but also being thrifty.  I love looking at used stores, searching for those really unique items that you just can't find at the big box stores.

What I think is important is that, whenever we are able, we pick things for our home because they bring us joy.  I read something recently that was talking about someone's home as if it were a carefully cultivated museum, with each item in the house having personal meaning and value.  And how many of us can say that!  

It can definitely be tempting to settle for a cheap set of dish towels (especially when the nice ones you really like are three times as much if not more!), but I think we often neglect to remember how much being surrounded by stuff we truly love effects our mood..and thus the rest of our lives.  It's not something you do overnight, most of us can't afford to just go out and buy all new stuff.  And sometimes it's a process to find just the right lamp (or coffee pot).  

I think there are two ways to go about this in a healthy way...and the great thing is you can do both!  Firstly, when stuff breaks or just flat out needs replacing, always try to find something you really enjoy, if possible.  This might be a process, you might not be able to get your dream stuff right away (trust me, I have expensive taste!), but each time you can try to find the most interesting or 'you' thing that is in your price range.  And sometimes it's worth that splurge, knowing that you will be using this item every day, and thinking about how it will make you smile.

But you can also treat yourself a couple of times a year.  Maybe it's something you want to do for your birthday or for the holidays, or maybe you build a habit of doing it when you feel sad.  Then you look around your house, find something that you don't really like...and replace it.  You may have to do some emotional letting go.  We all cling to stuff for a variety of reasons, and maybe that item was a gift (but you really think it's ugly), or an inherited item (that might not work anymore) and you feel guilty or bad about letting it go.

One thing I have found is a great way to help ease the transition of letting go of such items is to photograph them.  Especially with digital pictures now, you can keep the memory alive...and let go of the item.  If you aren't quite ready to actually get it out of your house just yet, you can move it into a closet for now (it's kind of amazing how easy it is to finally let go of things after they have lived in a closet for years...)

To take all this a step further, it's not even just about editing the stuff in your house.  It's also about your attitude towards your home.  Sometimes we live in a place but we don't take ownership of it.  I'm not talking about renting, but really claiming a place as your own.  And we can feel it, when we treat a space we are in as if it weren't ours.  I actually dislike talking in those terms, because I don't think of my home as belonging to me...rather I belong to my home.  It's the place that I fit, because I tend it.

Tending the home is more than just sweeping the floors and clearing out junk that doesn't belong.  There is a sense of wanting to make it the best it can be.  Even if you are renting or crashing at a friend's place, there are little things you can do to fit better into the space you are in.  And a lot of it does come back to keeping things clean...because allowing things to become dirty is a clear sign of disrespect.

And while cleaning isn't my favorite thing in the world, it is much more bearable when I stop thinking of it as 'having to dust' and remind myself that I am making our home a nicer place.  It's like the difference between doing something because you are told to and doing it because you want to do it (or because you want the outcome of doing the thing).  Tending the home becomes and act of love, not just for your house, but also for all the people (and furpeople) who live inside of it!

So this year, as we start spring (isn't it funny how this time is often thought of as spring cleaning time...), and we honor the hearth and home...and prepare for Valentines...spend some time shining love into your home.  Find the things that need tending and work on them.  You don't have to do it all at once, you can do one small thing at a time.  Don't get caught up in what you are doing, rather focus on why you are doing it.  And enjoy the cozy energy of your home!

Don't stop at the first sign of victory!

 When we look at what is going on in the world today, there is a lot of cause for celebration.  Many people feel as if we have had a big win, and a collective sigh was released.  It's like that moment when you first see progress on the work you've been doing, and you want to celebrate!

And there is nothing wrong with celebrating...as long as you keep perspective of the greater goals.  Often, the first progress we see isn't lasting or permanent.  This isn't to say it can't become lasting or permanent, just that if you stop doing the work, the progress fades away.  It's like when you plant a seed, you spend all that time waiting, you water it every day and make sure it has sun and all it's nutrients...and when you see that first hint of green poking through the earth you know that your efforts haven't been in vain.  But if you stop watering it, if you don't keep giving it access to the light, the tender new growth will wither.

This is something we always need to keep in mind.  We need to be willing to stay the course, to keep working, even when we are seeing things start to change, we need to continue to push until we reach where we want to be.

I think this is especially true when we are working towards some long-term goal.  Maybe we want to be more financially secure, so we do spells and rituals geared at getting us in a better place, money wise.  And then we get a new job (with better pay) or a raise.  The temptation is to think the spells have worked, and to stop.  But it's actually still at the start of the venture!  You need to stay the course until you are actually secure, where you want to be and able to maintain it.

Think of it this way:  it's often easier to keep a fire burning than it is to have to keep relighting it.  Sure, if you stop working, you can always start it up again, but you really have to start over.  You can't just jump back in where you were at (especially if you've tidied up or disposed of your spell working bits).  Even if everything in is in place, think about what must have happened for you to realize that you weren't where you want to be.

Often our path to progress is a very windy road, with lots of ups and downs.  We make a little progress forward, but then we start to backslide.  It's when we are moving backwards that we most often feel called to get back to working, but even when we are moving forward, we can use our work to help create stable momentum.  Then, when we would start to move backwards, we already have energy moving us forward and it is harder to fall prey to those slumps!

Now, I'm making a distinction here between extended, continual workings and regular fire and forget type work.  A lot of spells are one-offs.  We do the spell, we send the energy out into the world, and we trust that it will do what is needed.  In fact, a lot of spells can suffer from continued poking...because every time you go back to them, you need to keep the same intense focus as the first time, and if you let your thoughts become muddied or start wandering down the 'what if' rabbit hole, you start sending energy towards different outcomes and everything just gets messy.

In between one-off spells and continual workings we have set-time work.  This would be stuff like 7 day candles or working on something for a full moon cycle.  You know how long you are going to be working with the thing when you start, it's not dependent on your results.  These give you a little bit of the benefits and drawbacks of both one-off and continual workings.  You need to keep your focus tight for a specific period of time...that is what makes these types of spells more powerful.  But, they are more like one-off spells in the sense that it is like taking a single spell and breaking it into bits, and each time you work, you do one of the bits.  This can make harder things more manageable.

When I think of continual or long-term magic, I tend to think of healing and global issues.  With healing, you don't know exactly how long it will take to finish the healing, because everyone heals at their own rate.  We often keep a healing going until a person is fully recovered, using their base-line health as a measure of what 'well' means to them.  I think of weight issues as being a form of healing...because you are wanting to return to a healthy weight.  But because healing is such a tricky thing, with many issues that can come up, you really want to keep working at it until the final result is achieved, not just the first signs of healing.

With global issues, I think the people like to get caught up in the big causes when they are at their worst.  When things are looking the darkest, we band together and make a magical stand against what we feel can't be tolerated.  But we often then don't follow up.  We try to approach these huge issues with one-off spells, and even if you get thousands of people working together from around the world...one time is often not enough!  

I almost always think of any type of energy work as trying to swim with currents in a river.  With group work, you are all in a boat together....rowing.  But still, the river and it's currents are not only the natural flow of energy in the world...but also every other person who is thinking, acting or working towards a different goal than the people in your boat.  Some of them might not be pushing directly against you, but they may be pushing you to the side.  And some will be crashing right towards you, wanting nothing more than to shove you as far back as they can.

The problem is that no matter how big a push you give...when you stop working, when you stop rowing, the current still pushes back.  Until you have reached your destination, until the world has accepted whatever change you are trying to enact...you have to keep rowing.

While this idea isn't completely centered around what is going on in the world today, I do want to finish with a bit of a thought.  If things have been going on over the past years (or decades...or centuries) that you don't agree with...things you are willing to work against....don't stop when a small victory is gained!  Even though we might be moving in the right direction right now...if we stop, we will be pushed back and we will loose what we have gained.  And in the smaller sphere, if you are doing personal work, and you hit that first big win (but aren't quite where you want to end)...keep working!  

It is tempting to want to take a break, to stop the work for a while, and to coast on the victory, but that can be harder in the long run.  Instead, think of it as rounding that corner to where you can see the finish line.  This is the time to push, the time to keep working and keep moving forward!  There is plenty of time to celebrate and rest when the work is done.

Reboot

Practice is something that implies continual growth, but also returning to familiar things and refining our knowledge.  Going 'back to basics' is something that many people do, returning to things they learned early in their practice, and restudying them.  There is great value in doing this, as you have learned so much since you first experienced the thing, and now you can look on it with all your accrued knowledge and experience.  Revisiting grounding for the tenth time brings layers of understanding that you just couldn't grasp the first time through.

Returning to a subject is a necessary thing, but it is also a building thing.  When we go back to a basic practice, we take with us all that we have learned before.  We aren't coming at it from the same place as a new student.  This is how almost all higher education works, you keep coming back to simple things, and adding to your stores of knowledge.  This is how we build up such elaborate libraries of information.

Rebooting is something else entirely.  Rebooting doesn't draw as much from your experiences...because the point is to completely clear the slate.  It's like working with an AI program that learns your preferences over time...and reverting it to factory settings.  You have to start over, from the very start, and build it all up again.

Now, of course we aren't devices and we can't achieve a full and proper reboot.  There is no way (short of developing amnesia, which I don't recommend lol) to actually separate what we have learned and truly start over.  But we can get close.  And the way to do that is to focus on learning 'as if it were your first time.'

This is a kind of subtle distinction, and it involves a bit of stepping outside yourself.  But the benefits are often worth it.  The downside of just going back to basics is there is always the temptation to keep stuff you know works.  You are already doing daily practice, so why not just keep doing it?  The problem is that if you just keep adding onto what you are already doing, you tend to overlook things that could be even better.  It's like when you have a favorite flavor of ice cream, and you only ever order that one flavor...because you know you love it.  You will still enjoy eating the ice cream, but you may miss a whole world of other choices, and you may never realize that you are slightly bored of only eating the same thing...because you don't know any different.

Now a spiritual reboot is kind of scary.  Clearing your slate and starting over can feel intimidating.  You have to face the demons of "Am I giving up?" and "Have I even made any progress?"  The thing about rebooting is that you often don't see the results until a long time after.

It reminds me a lot of getting a new phone, something I both look forward to and dread.  Every time we've gotten a new phone, I've gone into it with the expectation that I will have to do a full wipe.  I kind of forget that they can often transfer over things like phone numbers and contacts.  But even when it comes to apps and other settings, you have to start from the ground up, and often the things you relied upon just aren't there.

But, being forced to start from nothing means that all those things I rarely used...are just gone.  I don't have to choose to set them aside, they simply aren't there.  When I make a list of the apps I want to load to my new phone, I always notice that some just don't make the list.  I may never have deleted them off my old phone, but they won't be put on the new one.

The struggle is that sometimes the new system just doesn't let you do the things you want to.  I am continually surprised by how un-user friendly a lot of tech is...how many options that I feel are simple and basic, that just aren't offered.  Or how older devices give you more options, and your newer one just doesn't let you customize as much.

When you are faced with not having something you've always done as an option, it forces you to find a new way.  Sometimes this means settling or compromising with something that isn't quite as good...but eventually you get used to it.  It's like when your absolute favorite incense blend stops being produced, and now you have to find another one to use.  Sometimes you will find something better, but sometimes you will be stuck using something that you don't quite like...but eventually you get used to it.

We naturally enter times of reboot when huge changes happen in our life, but they aren't full reboots.  When you move house, you may not be able to keep the same number of altars.  This can mean you have to completely reboot your sacred spaces.  If you take a new job, with new hours, you may have to reboot your observances, especially if your new job isn't flexible in allowing you time off.  These can create havoc in your spiritual life in the short term as you scramble to adjust to a new paradigm.

The more you embrace the reboot, the easier it is to handle.  And the more practice you get with rebooting in general, the easier it will be for you to take that deep breath, to let go of the familiar, to hit the reset button and step into the void.  It will never be easy, it will never feel safe, but it will be less daunting when you truly realize that you can find a way to adapt to whatever you end up facing.

I'm not sure how my year of reboot will go, but I do know that it is necessary.  I need to shake things up, I need to start over, and I need to see where this will take me.  I encourage you to see if there are areas in your life that need a reboot, and to be brave and see what happens when you take that step off the cliff...without knowing what waits for you below!

Anti-resolutions

 At the start of the year, everyone is talking about resolutions.  We talk about new habits we want to develop, or things that we want to let go of.  The ultimate goal is to 'be' a better person, we want to improve our life in some way.

Part of figuring out how we should change is doing a bit of reflection.  But when we look at our selves and our lives, we tend to look for what isn't working.  We look for the places where we feel a lacking or where we dislike something that is in our current life.  We look for the broken things and try to fix them.

What we often overlook is the 'good' habits we have.  We skim over the places in our lives where things are doing well.  We think 'this thing is okay, so I don't have to worry about it,' and we move on, searching for something to stand out as feeling wrong or inappropriate.  And we miss a huge opportunity!

Sometimes, we fall into habits that work, but maybe aren't as good as they could be.  You eat pretty well and don't binge on a lot of super sugary or fattening snacks.  Or maybe you just have grown complacent about a practice.  You have a daily routine, but you don't really think about it.  Because we aren't having big issues in these areas, we tend to gloss over them and things that are 'just okay' never become great.

On the other hand, sometimes we dismiss things out of hand because we feel they 'just aren't us'.  We really don't like the idea of logging our food intake, and running never looked fun.  We never give things a chance, a true chance, because we have an initial dislike for them (and no real reason to change the things that are already working okay for us).

But here's the thing.  Trying something, seriously trying it, teaches us SO much.  So does stopping doing something we think is important to us.  Both are forms of what we would traditionally call failure.  I mean, what's the point in trying something that makes us a bit miserable (especially when we have alternatives that are more appealing).

I'm a big fan of seeing things from as many perspectives as possible.  I got the idea of anti-resolutions from a story I was writing, and I think it's an interesting twist on self-improvement.  The idea is not to try something that you think you will like...exactly the opposite.  Try something you think you are going to hate (be reasonable of course, don't try dangerous diets or physical things that are so hard you risk getting hurt).  And treat it as if you were serious about making it a part of your life.

Pretty much every one agrees that it takes about a month to set a new habit.  So a month is a proper trial time for most things.  It's the perfect amount of time for an anti-resolution!  It's long enough to really let you get a taste for something, and even see some improvement in your ability to do it.  But it's short enough to not feel endless.  You can see the end and most people can do almost anything for a month (when they know that they only have to do it for a month).

So what's the point then?  Why bother to do something if you know you are just going to give it up at the end of the month?  Well firstly, sometimes initial impressions are just wrong.  You may have thought you hated something at first try, but once you smoothed out some of the bumps, you might discover that you actually enjoy it.  Most likely you won't, our initial impressions often are pretty spot on.  Even if you don't like a thing and have no plans to continue on with it, trying and failing teaches us stuff.  You may learn some small things that you can then incorporate into other things you do want to do.  At the very least, you will gain an appreciation for the people who do the thing, and an understanding of what they do.  This can be really helpful when you are interacting with people who are into whatever the thing is that you don't like.  It's much easier to connect when you have some common ground!

I also think there is great value in taking a break from things you 'think you can't live without'.  It's sort of a life-cleanse.  Some things are easy to set aside for a bit.  If you have a favorite tarot deck that you always reach for, even though you own a dozen other decks that you also love, then challenging yourself to not use your 'go-to' deck for a month means you will be using other decks more...learning how to work with them.  

Other things are harder to set down.  If you have a daily prayer practice, that is very dear to you and a huge part of your path, it may feel traitorous to not do it.  Instead, try changing it up.  Pick a new way of honoring the same idea, but don't do it in your normal way.  This could be as simple as changing when you do something.  If you normally say your prayers at night, try them in the morning or before each meal (and don't say them at night).  If you have a regular offering you make (one you make without really thinking about what to offer...because it's what you've always offered), spend some time trying other offerings (you might check in with your deities first, and let them know what you are planning and see if they are open to it).  

Of course if you feel huge resistance to stopping a practice, you should listen to your inner voice.  If something is deeply meaningful to you, giving it up can be more harmful then beneficial, even in the short run.  Especially if you have a practice that is helping you cope with an issue or deal with a difficult situation!  But even then it can be helpful to spend some time thinking about if this is the only way you can do that particular thing.  You may decide that it is, but the fact that you considered alternatives can help you accept that this is the actual best path for you (and not just the path you ended up on).

I think we could all benefit from shaking things up, from time to time.  So maybe, instead of trying to come up with a new resolution, you may think of an anti-resolution to try.  Instead of trying to fix what is broken...try breaking what works.  You might be surprised at the new ideas that come from turning things on their head and breaking free from old habits!