Brainstorming work

 

One of the things that I think takes the longest to get comfortable with is creating your own spells and rituals (or any practice really).  As much as I feel like Paganism embraces individualized and personalized practice, most books only go into the bare bones on how to build a working from the ground up, and many 101 books don't really talk about doing your own thing at all.  They just include a handful of premade spells and rituals, and often those don't really fit (because we are all individual, and we might live in a different country or time period from where the spell originated, which also makes things complicated).

 

I've always been a big fan of making your own spells (and for ease of wording, I'm going to say spells for the rest of this post, even though the same process can be used to build any spiritual working, from rituals to protections to Sabbats!), or at the very least tweaking the bits that don't work in spells you find out in the wild.  In my very early days I did work with spells straight out of books, and while it has a certain comfort level (because it's very easy to doubt your own capabilities), it was always like wearing hand-me-down clothes....they feel like they don't quite fit most of the time.

 

But writing your own spells can feel daunting, and for many people even figuring out where to start is an issue.  It's one of those weird things that feels like it should be talked about everywhere, and yet it's not, and when it is talked about, it's in a very bare bones kinda way (I mean even this blog post won't be as complete an explanation as might be wanted, but it's more extensive than a lot of the 'how to write your own spells' sections we see in books). 

The start is always the why...why are you doing a spell.  Note, I don't start with what you want to seek, because I feel like the why is always more important than the what.  The why will lead to the what (and sometimes, as you explore the why, you discover that you are actually needing to work towards a different what than you thought you did!)

So start by asking yourself why, and really dig in here.  If you wanted to make a spell to get a job, why are you looking for a job (do you want money, more excitement in your life, a chance to do something creative, or are you just bored).  Notice, that all of those things could be reasons to find a job...but many of them lead to very different types of jobs.  Knowing the why of your spell will help inform every step of the process!

Sometimes the why will be straightforward, like if you have a friend who is sick and you want to do something to help them heal.  You care about your friend and you want them better, that is your why.  But sometimes the why is more elusive, like if you want to loose weight, your why might be that you want to be healthier, but it might also include wanting to look better (and feel sexier or more confidant) and that you want to be able to play soccer without feeling winded immediately.  You don't have to pick just one why, in fact exploring the many reasons behind your spell can help you create a much more inclusive working!

If you are struggling with understanding your why, it can be helpful to get outside advice.  This might mean turning to your favorite divination method, and spending some time journaling out your whys, or it might mean asking a trusted friend or loved one for their input.  Just remember, if you are talking to other people, that you want to not only ask someone who you trust (and who knows you), but also someone who isn't going to try to talk you out of doing your work (sometimes you can get advice on your why without explaining what specifically you are planning on doing, so take our job example, you might ask a friend what type of job they think you would enjoy without telling them you are planning on doing a spell for it).

Once you have your why, you can start to think about the main shape your spell will take.  There are tons of types of spells out there, from candle spells to jar spells to bag spells or simple fire and forget spells.  This is one place where reading examples (especially examples that are similar to what you are planning, so if you are wanting to heal a friend, looking at a selection of healing spells can give you a sense of what other people have found works, and that is a great place to start!).  You might also just like one method over another, and prefer to use it, and that's perfectly fine too!

Almost every spell includes correspondences of some sort, whether they are physical items, representations or simply words to be called upon.  This is where your whys really come into play.  You will want something to represent all of your whys, so if I am wanting to loose weight (to be healthy, to look sexy and to be able to enjoy soccer more), then I should have at least one thing to represent each of my whys.

I sometimes think of deities as a way to include more correspondences.  I have a pretty wide group of deities I work with, so I have a lot of choices for deities that will fit my spell.  And sometimes you can work with multiple deities for the same spell, though this can often require more planning (and some deities just don't work well together, so understanding how they interrelate is important too).  You don't have to call on a deity for your spells, and some people have a patron deity that functions like a catch-all for them, when it comes to calling on deities in a spell.

I also want to note that spell creation isn't necessarily something that needs to be done all at once, in one sitting or quickly.  It can be, and learning to create on the fly is somewhat of a different skill, but for the purposes of this blog post, don't feel like you need to rush the process.  Sometimes, I will let an idea stew in my head, and that helps me come up with connections and ideas that I might have otherwise missed.  If you are planning your spell like this, having a notebook or some spot to jot down your ideas and thoughts as they come can be really helpful!

And, your actual 'spell work' doesn't have to be done in one setting either.  Sometimes, we ritualize the prep, especially if you are making any kind of herbal blend, poppet, totem or amulet/talisman (which might need to be prepared ahead of time).  Your spell might also extend into the future (like when you burn a 7 day candle for a spell), or have reactivation activities (like shaking a jar spell when it needs a boost or charging a ward every full moon).  

With any spell work, I think it's important to not pressure yourself too much over the results.  You aren't a bad witch/Pagan if you do a spell and it doesn't work out.  It's not even necessarily that the spell didn't work...sometimes our spells are like trying to hold back the push of the ocean with just your hands....you might not have enough force to create the change you are working towards.  But every spell you do (especially those you create) help you become better at them in the future!

One thing that I think can be important (but often overlooked) when talking about spell creation is reflecting on, and adjusting, the spell after the fact.  Especially for something (like a healing spell) that you might want to use again in the future, taking the time to think about (and make some notes on) what went well and what didn't go as well as you would have liked, along with how the spell felt as you did it and the results afterward...these all help to let you refine the spell for future use.

 

Creating your own spells isn't as hard as it first seems, and the benefits are countless.  Not only does it give you the ability to tailor your spells to your exact needs, but it also gives you complete control over what you use to do your spell, what deities (if any) you choose to work with, and how complicated or simple you prefer your work to be.  I highly recommend anyone who hasn't made their own spells give it a try...it's not as scary as it sounds!

Books of shadows

 

 Welcome to my library...or at least part of it.  I am a book lover and a writer, and of course I have a million books that make up my 'book of shadows' (honestly, this isn't even all of them).  When we talk about a Book of Shadows, it is often described as being a huge tome, handmade with an ornate cover, with illustrated and beautiful pages, holding all the information one has collected as they walk their path.

But as you can see, for some of us, one book just won't do!  Not only is it simply not big enough, but it may not have the organization you want (or need!).  And a fancy book of shadows probably isn't something that the average person would have had (even the big coven BOS' were probably quite plain on the outside).  Of course, we live in a time now where we are free to have beautiful and fancy books to write whatever we want in, so if you like that kinda thing, have at it!  I have a few really lovely and unique books in my selection...though as you can see, quite a lot are very simple or basic.

My first BOS was a three ring binder.  This binder....which was really just my favorite binder from school.  It has pockets (which is really handy for all those odd shaped papers that I like to keep in them).  But most importantly, it has tabs and three rings!  It let me move stuff around as often as I wanted, and in the beginning, that was priceless.  It also let me easily remove and add pages...at any point!

In my early days, I remember reading all about the Book of Shadows, and how it had a counterpoint, the Book of Light.  If the BOS was dedicated to the nitty gritty "stuff you do" then the BOL was all about inspiration:  poetry and stories that delighted you.  I think of it as something to turn to when you need a bit of spiritual uplifting.  I have a few books where I keep particularly moving poetry (one for poems I write myself, and one for others I find).  I even have a wishes book, which is basically a paper version of a pinterest dream board!  I have a bunch of pictures I cut out of magazines or printed out, and it's just all pretty witchy stuff that makes me happy to look at.

From there, my books just started expanding.  I made a little one (so it was portable!) for a Correspondence book, and I also made a travel BOS (which is a cute little leather bound book that I kept my most basic and most well used stuff in..for when I was away from home, but still wanted something!).

I have a dream book, though I struggle to use that.  I used to dream every night, but only remembered my dreams for a short time upon waking.  The problem was, that I really hated the process of writing it down.  As soon as I started, it was like the process of writing made the fragments of dream flee even further.  I think this is part of the process of figuring out which kinds of books you might want for your practice...sometimes they just don't work out!

Another type of book I kept early on (but don't use as much now) is a working record book.  I would record the spells and rituals I did, how they went and how things turned out (okay I almost always forgot that last bit...).  I have several of them now, though today I am more likely to use my witchy log than directly recording my work.

Speaking of the witchy log, that is a very recent book I started a few years ago.  I really struggle with keeping up with tasks (in all realms of my life), and a planner has helped my everyday life so much, I thought having a book specifically dedicated to my witchy life would help.  It gives me a place to check in everyday, do moon work, journal about the sabbats, record random witchy facts or ideas....and it's really working for me.

 

This kind of replaced my old Sabbat book, which was dedicated to my own reflections after Sabbat rituals.  This one sort of fell in a funny place for me.  It felt like a cross between reflective journaling and record keeping, but when I started keeping the Witchy Log, I just stopped using this one.

I also started some topic specific books (because my brain likes organization).  I have books dedicated to runes, to tarot, to astrology, to moon work...pretty much any subject you are interested enough in to want a separate book for!

Art books are another whole category for me.  I have the one that started it all, which is a smashbook I did for an intentional art retreat.  It holds art that was done with specific purposes, so some of the pictures are about exploring archetypes or grounding or transforming.  I ended up with another book (that holds hole punched pages) for loose leaf art, and what I call my healing art book (which is blank pages that I draw pictures/symbols in for healing).  Sometimes my magic isn't about words, sometimes it's about images or color or emotions and these help me tap into that.

I also keep a small book for future ideas.  I heard someone toss this out as concept, and it's so perfect for my brain!  The idea is that you write down stuff you might want to work on...but that you don't have time/energy/motivation to do right now.  It's a future log for magic!  Mine is broken into problems and dreams..so problems are often more outward focused (like when a situation in the world is just bugging you), while dreams tend to be more personal (though of course you could just keep all your future ideas together!)

 

Now, you can probably see that most of my books are pretty spartan.  I don't really decorate them (minus the art books, but those aren't technically decorated either...just full of art lol), because for me that honestly just feels like work.  It's also a bit like that feeling of having a blank (expensive) book and not wanting to use it (because you are afraid of 'messing it up'...though I find just deliberately making a mistake early helps in this...I'm not perfect, my books don't need to be either).  But many people really get into making their books into amazing art works, doing collage and making every word beautiful.  So if that's your thing, go for it!

And if physical books aren't your thing....there are always digital options!  I keep a ton of files on my computer, from books to stuff I've written to things I've clipped from websites.  I've been playing around with OneNote as a way to organize digital stuff, though I've heard great things about Notion as well (and seen some amazing digital books there!)  There are advantages to digital, it's easy to keep a ton of information organized and handy (and with smart phones, portable!)  Personally, I'm more analog than digital, I sometimes struggle to read online text (books are easier for me), so I doubt I will ever be fully digital...but it's so nice for stuff that I am not sure I want/need for the long term.

When it comes to your Book(s) of Shadows, the sky is the limit.  There is no right or wrong way to keep one, just ways that work better for you.  And there is nothing wrong with trying out a few!  Find the books you like to use (bound, spiral, 3ring, digital), figure out how you prefer to keep things (do you like one big book, lots of little ones, write as you go, dedicated sections) and then see which ones stick with you (because sometimes the one you are most excited about just doesn't click).

Quiet Contemplation

 Life is a series of ups and downs, with times of frantic energy and times of stillness.  We just got through the holiday season, which is often very busy.  Many people have additional stresses around this time of year, whether it is due to spending more time with family (who may not 'get' you), or due to money issues, or just trying to get to all the parties!  And after such a busy time, it is often quite soothing to take some time to just...be.

If you already have a meditation practice, or a journalling practice, this could mean taking some extra time to slow down and just contemplate where you are at, right now.  This is a much more passive type of practice though, so there is no need to set a particular focus, just set some time aside to sit and think.

I often feel like we have really lost something in our busy modern life.  There aren't as many moments of stillness or times to just sit and be with ourselves.  There is always something to do, some distraction to keep you busy or something that needs attended to.  And if you wait for quiet moments to occur naturally, you may be waiting quite a while!

Instead, it is useful to schedule some down time.  Mark it in your calendar, make a sign for your door and put your phone on silent (or better yet, put it in another room!), and give yourself permission to take some time to yourself to just think.

It can feel kind of uncomfortable, at first, when you sit down for your quiet time.  And unlike many forms of meditation, you aren't trying to focus your mind one one thing, or keep it blank.  You are actually encouraging your mind to wander down whatever thought trails it wants.  

It can be helpful to have some kind of starting point, and I definitely feel that "how am I, right now," is a great one.  It starts you where you are, but as you know, thoughts are tricky things, and you may find yourself following a thought trail that leads you quite far from your starting point.

It's also perfectly fine to set some boundaries before you start.  If there are things that stress you out when you think about them, and you need a break from that, then absolutely shift your thoughts when those things come up.  There is plenty of time to sit with those uncomfortable thoughts at another time, when you aren't trying to recover from the business of the holidays.

I definitely find that I crave moments of quiet contemplation as my life gets busier.  Especially if I'm spending a lot of time with family (and thus having to put on my 'family face' lol), I find that having some time to just be myself, no apologies and no censoring, can really help me find that inner core of 'me' and gets me ready to go back out and handle whatever needs handled.

I should also point out that it's perfectly fine if you want to daydream as part of your contemplation.  I think daydreams are such amazing ways for us to explore different ways of being.  Maybe you have a favorite book/movie/show and you want to imagine what it would be like if you were part of that world.  Or maybe you always  wondered what it would be like to live as an animal.  Let your mind play in whatever world it wants, especially if your 'real' world is something you feel you need a little bit of a break from.

And there is NOTHING wrong with needing a break from your life sometimes!  It doesn't mean you don't love your people or that you are depressed...in fact knowing that you are stressed and need a break, and then planning time for it and actually taking that break is a very healthy way to handle the tough bits of life without either breaking down or avoiding things.  Just like you might take a rest when you are doing something physically demanding, taking some time for yourself in contemplation allows your mind (and emotions!) to rest, and is often quite refreshing.

So, if you find yourself feeling extra frazzled after the holiday season is over, try giving yourself some time to sit and think.  Let your mind wander, and even play with some daydreaming.  Even a small amount of time can give you that break you need, and allow you to return to your life feeling refreshed!

Mental health practices

 Mental health is not only a topic that's receiving a lot of attention lately, but also a field in which we've progressed quite a bit in recent history.  I always find it interesting to see how many mental health techniques (from books targeting specific mental issues) overlap with witchcraft practices.  

Let's first talk a bit about what mental health is.  Mental health does of course include how you think, but it also addresses how we feel and our social interactions.  Honestly, it's everything that isn't only a physical thing (because we definitely know that many physical ailments include mental health issues).  As such, it can include things like anxiety or depression, but it can also mean a lack of mental stimulation or feeling spiritually disconnected.

The thing about mental health is that it's very much like our physical health.  Most of the time, we are relatively 'healthy' in the sense that we aren't in crisis.  Which means we may be functioning (barely) or not even aware of what we are struggling with.  But just like how eating healthy and getting some good movement in helps our overall physical health, having healthy mental habits helps keep us out of mental health crisis.

There are a lot of parts of magical practice that are very good for our general mental well being.  Some of the first things many of us learn, when starting on our path, is how to ground, center and meditate.  And these are excellent tools for mental health practice!  Grounding is a way to deal with excess energy (and can be used for emotional energy as well, not just spiritual energy!), centering is a way to focus (great for when you are all over the place mentally), and of course meditation encourages us to regularly sit with ourselves (and whatever comes up).

Many witches include journaling as part of their practice, and journaling is such a wonderful tool for mental health.  The great thing about journaling is that it be what you need it to be.  If you have something you need to vent, pour it out on paper.  If you have something you want to say to someone, but are afraid to...write it out (and either burn it...or bless it and send it).  If you are trying to figure out what's going on in your head, explore it on the page.  If you are feeling down you might want to write about a better place (or time, or situation).

 

A lot of spiritual practices involve mindfulness, either as an exercise on it's own (like when you take a moment to focus on every aspect of eating an apple) or as a way of life (trying to spend as much time being in the moment as possible).  For many of us, moments out in nature, just existing, are deeply spiritual, and something to be sought out throughout the year.

Another wonderful tool is tarot (or any form of divination that can be used for personal reflection).  I love that a lot of the focus on using tarot is less about external stuff (which job should I take?  will I marry someone rich?) and more on internal stuff (what will make me happy?  why is this thing bothering me?).  There are TONS of wonderful spreads out there that can help you explore just about anything you might want.

Of course, we can't talk about mental health without talking about shadow work.  Shadow work is basically taking those bits of yourself that you keep hidden away...and exploring them, bringing them into the light (with the goal of integrating them back into your whole self).  It often involves unpacking things that we've been told since birth or rooting around in traumatic memories.  The fact that shadow work is a recognized part of so many magical practices says a lot about our spiritual community (in the best of ways!)

A lot of both spell and ritual work also involves mental health practices.  Think about the setup to do a spell.  You have to tune into (and often fine tune) your desires (when you work out the purpose and details of the spell).  You look at it from many angles, seeing different aspects that you want to call on (when gathering ingredients).  You take time to get into the right headspace (preparing to do the work), and then focus on one thing intensely (a form of meditation).  Doing these actions regularly (and often for a wide range of subjects) is a form of mental health practice.

If you are someone who works with the cycle of seasons in any form (or astrology, or moon phases...any 'over time' kind of practice), that is another way to tap into mindfulness.  We are looking at the world outside and then checking in with ourselves and asking what we need right now in time.  We are thinking about the times that have just passed and recognizing what they have given to us, and we are looking ahead and planning for the future times.  

All in all, almost every aspect of Paganism includes some form of mental health practice.  And this is one of the reasons why I feel like it is such an appealing path for so many...because we can each get from it the things we need to work on our mental health and thus improve our life.

Reflection repetition for growth

 We know that we need to repeat things in order to get better at them, but a lot of the reflective aspects of our practice are considered one and done.  We don't think of reflection as a practice in and of itself, but more like it's a check on our other practices.

I think it's useful to take a moment to explore the meaning of the word reflect.  It has quite a few meanings!  Of course it can be a physical thing, like how light reflects off of something shiny or how a mirror creates an image of something.  But it can also mean to think deeply or carefully about.  This is the meaning I want to focus on (though there is a bit of the first couple, especially in how we often reflect ON something we have done or experienced, creating a 'reflection' of the thing through the lens of our own perspective).

But when we sit down to reflect, we are in essence reacting to a previous version of ourselves.  We might want to reflect on moments in our past, on a ritual or reading we have done, on how our life is going, or on a shadow aspect of our self...or a million other things.  Reflecting allows us to really dive deep into what happened and explore things that we might have missed in the moment (I often find that I recognize patterns easier later on). 

Another value of reflection is that we can revisit things when we are in a better headspace.  Sometimes, experiences are so intense we can't really process them in the moment.  We need some space from our own emotions, or perhaps we weren't able to think clearly (we might not have had time to stop and think).  For this kind of reflection, it can be really handy to jot down some really quick notes, as soon as you can after the experience.  Especially if there are bits you know you want to explore when you have time, that way you don't forget the important parts.

And while sitting down and reflecting is great on it's own, there is also something to be said for repeated reflections on the same topic or question.  It's something I've been working with this year (as my planner has the exact same five reflection questions each week), and I'm finding that it's really working for me right now (though I've also tried the same thing a couple of years back and found it tedious, so you might need to play with the questions and frequency of reflection to find what works best for you).

One thing I've discovered is that it's okay to not write something new when you do a repeated reflection.  This is something I really struggled with early on (and also in my gratitude practice, which can be a similar repeated practice).  I felt like I had to come up with something unique every time I answered a question, instead of just writing what I felt in that moment.

Here's the thing though.  Even if your feelings are similar, you sometimes come up with small nuances that you might not have discovered if you only answered the question once.  And even if it is the exact same answer, that gives you information on how often you get the same answer for a question.  

For example, one of the questions I've been reflecting on this year is "How can I help others or be of service?"  This is often a very tricky one for me, as I mostly stay at home (we do grocery shopping on the weekend, and might see friends, but most of my time it's just me and maybe hubby when he's not working).  So, there are weeks where I don't really have an answer to this question.

And here's the interesting bit.  Even though I don't always have a good answer, by continually asking myself, I stop and think about it each week.  I try to think of a way to be of service to someone, even if it's just a tiny thing.  Or maybe I'll find something helpful to do around the house.  Maybe it means I go out of my way to say something nice to the checkout person at the grocery.  But it's all stuff that I wouldn't have thought of if I hadn't been constantly asking myself the same question!

Another way to think about reflections is the light concept.  When you reflect on an image, it's like putting up a mirror.  But that mirror only shows one side of the thing.  In order to see the image more completely, you need more mirrors.  Each time you reflect, you add another mirror.  Eventually you can see so much more than you first can, because you have so many mirrors to look into!

And that can be a much easier way to tackle something big and upsetting.  By reflecting many times, you don't have to do such a deep dive each time.  You can reflect on as much as you feel comfortable with, and then put it aside for a bit.  When you are ready, you can come back to it, read over your previous reflection, and add something new.

For this kind of reflection, it can definitely be helpful to keep your reflections together.  Reading through previous reflections helps you gain perspective and insight.  You can notice the patterns that show up in your reflections, and you can also see the growth!  Perhaps something you struggled with a lot early on doesn't show up in your reflections anymore, but when you read back to the early days, you can see how far you've grown!

Whatever your path, I definitely think reflection is a great tool to take along with you.  I also believe it's greatest strength lies in returning to your reflections and adding to them...repeating the reflection so that you can experience and see your own growth!

Informal notes...aka Pagan Prayer Journaling

 Okay, so a bit ago I was thinking about stuff to write about, and I stumbled across this blog post:  65 Prompts for Pagan Prayer Journaling.  Now, this is a fabulous list of things to write about, but what especially caught my eye was the reframe it had on studying, notes, daily practice and journaling!  

As someone who is a big fan of taking personal notes (I definitely remember more when I have to write it out by hand, but also information sinks in better if I need to reword it into my own words), I still think of 'notetaking' as a formal process.  I have organized Books of Shadows, as well as a whole collection of notebooks that hold other notes and information I've written down.  And in my head, the goal is always to keep information tidy, so that when I want to find it again, I can.

But the idea of just writing stuff down everyday, whatever comes up or seems to want to be written down is such an enticing one.  I used to keep an 'internet notebook' just for copying over stuff I found online that I wanted to have..but didn't really fit in my BOS or maybe I wasn't sure where I wanted to put it just yet.  I sadly fell out of the habit as I got more used to just bookmarking sites (to be read later....my tbr bookmark selection is like my book tbr list....it's longer than I expect my lifetime to be, and I expect to live for quite a long time!)

I also feel this practice of keeping your daily writing in one place would be very helpful if you are one of those people who (like me) struggles with remembering to work in books that are put away (sometimes, the act of pulling out the specific book I want to write in is too much and I don't end up doing anything at all).  It would also be great if you spend a lot of time outside your home, as you would only need a single notebook to carry with you!)  You could even do this on a journaling app (which makes it even more travel friendly, and you could find one that lets you tag or organize your notes in a way that works for you).

One of the things I really like about this idea is that it lets you vary your daily spiritual writing practice.  Especially when you use a prompt list like this, you have lots of ideas of stuff to write about, when you want to do something spiritual but maybe don't have anything specific in mind (please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do something but then kinda gets hung up on what to do).

It's kind of like a combination of a commonplace book (which is basically your personal journal of helpful tips and information to remember....made popular back in the days before published books were a reasonable price for the average person), a bullet journal (where you note down important stuff from your day) and BOS (specifically the style of BOS that is like a personal magic diary).

I definitely see aspects of this when I look for examples of witchy/Pagan bullet journals or calendar work.  And I used to see these pretty (or functional, depending on your style) pages of notes and think "wow, that would never work for me, I wouldn't ever be able to find anything", but I think that's really not the point of this type of practice.

Sure, you may end up with notes on things you are interested in and studying, and of course you could go back through your journals and compile the notes into something more cohesive...but you could also just keep making new notes (especially if you are like me, and your brain remembers best through small bits of repetition over the years...it's okay if this is my millionth time writing about astrology because I still don't remember what all the signs mean!!!)

Looking over the list, I think a lot of it could be distilled down to:  "Find a thing that interests you today.  Read about it, or do it...then write about it."  It's an action and then a reaction, and that's where the beauty lies!  It's funny, while I always hated reflections when I had to write them in school (especially reflecting on papers I had written..I hadn't yet figured out that teachers weren't just there to give me grades, but to help me learn, and that honest reflection on what went good, what went bad and how you felt about it is such a major part of learning).

In some ways, I think that is something that can be missing from solitary practice:  the feedback.  This style of journaling allows you to give your own feedback, both immediately and also later, when you go back and read what you wrote previously.  In fact, that would be my own addition to the list:  read a previous journal entry and then write your current thoughts on what you wrote before.

I also really like that they include brainstorming and planning as part of it.  Brainstorming or just coming up with ideas is such a great task, and it's something that we sometimes forget we can do in an unfocused way.  Sure, we can plan out that next ritual or gathering we are attending, but we can also just keep a running list of:  things we'd like to research, ideas we read that we want to try (someday), ritual ideas that would be fun, books to read, tools to buy....anything that you may want to do in the future (but have no definite plans for right now).  The best thing about playing with brainstorming like this is you end up with things you can turn to later (when you are actually looking for stuff to do).

But the absolute best thing (in my opinion) about informal notes like this is that there are no rules.  You don't have to format it in a specific way, you don't have to list your sources (but you can if you want!), you don't have to have all the answers or even know really what you are going to do.  Just pick a thing, and let your thoughts flow onto paper.

Things don't always age well

 The world is constantly changing, and we are living in a time where we see ideas become obsolete in our own lifetime, and sometimes things that were socially acceptable when we were little are definitely not now.  It can be hard to adjust, and to reconcile our feelings with our thoughts.  But we also don't want to toss the baby out with the bathwater, and just because some things are outdated and didn't age well doesn't mean that they should be completely set aside.

This is one place where I feel like we have to engage both our critical thinking and our ability to see things from another perspective.  Just because we don't agree with an idea today, doesn't mean we can't see how our ancestors might have viewed something (and how it could have been something good for them while simultaneously being not good for us).  

One of my favorite examples of this is with mythology.  Many modern practitioners accept myths as a version of teaching stories.  They were a way that our ancestors tried to make sense of the world around them, especially when they lacked the understanding to explain things in a way that made sense to them, and so creating a story to explain what was going on helped them accept changes and situations that would otherwise create anxiety and stress for them.

A lot of myths talk about how things came to be.  Perhaps they are explaining the universe or why humans are different from other life on the planet, or they might be explaining unusual natural phenomenon (like eclipses or earthquakes).  Our ancestors would see a thing, and it wouldn't match with the rest of the world, and they would try to figure out why this thing was different.

Of course, today we often know the reasons why the earth shakes or how humans evolved to develop speech and use tools.  And this may cause us to question our love of myth, because we have two conflicting sources of information (or more, especially if you follow multiple pantheons and now have multiple creation stories for different things).  

But we also have more levels of understanding on how our own brains work.  We have the left brain, the thinking brain, the ego, and that part is the one that likes knowing the why.  In our modern lives, this is the part that often turns to science and logic.  We also have the right brain, the child self, the id, and this part of us loves whimsy and play and symbols.  (yes, these different parts don't quite line up, and then there is the superego/higher self....but you get the idea)

And that is where we can love a thing and also understand why it's not Truth (with a capital T).  Things don't have to be 'real' to be real....a story can be completely made up and still carry weight.  It can move us, in ways that logic and science don't always.  It can bring us to a place of magic.

With outdated ideas, this can sometimes bring real conflict.  Thinking about some of the earliest books on Paganism that I read, there were a lot of really inappropriate ideas about how people interact with each other (being skyclad, sexual initiations, power dynamic, gender duality, cultural appropriation).  Even at the time, I knew some of the things I was reading didn't 'work' for me, I just kind of assumed I was the odd duck out, I must have been just not ready to be that open or that connected to other people.

But even the parts I was conflicted about imprinted in my brain as examples of 'how magic works' (especially magic with multiple people).  I think I will always have romantic ideology about dancing naked in the woods or a working partner, and I kind of tuck those thoughts away in the fantasy part of my brain (you know, the part that idly dreams about movie stars and being rich...yeah that part).

The thing is...I can enjoy those thoughts in my brain, even though if I were to be in that situation in realty I'd definitely be freaking out and highly anxious.  Things aren't black and white, and there are a lot of places where we can live in the grey area.

We may be absolutely opposed to any kind of nakedness with other people, and still enjoy reading a novel where a coven holds those kinds of meetings.  We can watch a movie that embraces very sketchy magical practices....and like the movie, but still condone real world work in those areas.  We can examine a historical document and recognize that we have methods available to us today that simply weren't there before (and thus our ancestors had to take a very different approach when put in a bad situation).

Everyone has to decide their own levels of comfort with things that haven't aged well.  For some, it may make them uncomfortable enough they want to avoid it altogether, and that's fine.  For others, they may be okay with sifting through the troubling bits and pulling out the parts that are okay.  Or enjoying something in a purely entertainment fashion and recognizing that the things we may enjoy in a bit of fiction aren't things that we actually support.  The important thing is to know that there are different ways to approach this, and you don't have to completely avoid things that haven't aged well, if you don't want to.

Broaden your Horizons

 As Independence day rolls around in my country, I am reminded of how small most of our worlds are.  Many people don't have the opportunity (or the means) to travel around the world and experience other places first hand.  But with the internet, we do have the ability to learn about other places.

Besides just being interesting, learning about other places, how people there live, how things are done, what their circumstances are...all these things help give us a broader perspective on our own lives.  It's natural to go through life assuming that 'most people are like you,' but chances are there are a whole ton of people who live very different lives than you do.

With recent global events as well as national issues, many people have strong opinions on how things should be done...and about what is possible.  However, most of those opinions are just that:  opinions.  They aren't based on facts or even a good hypothesis.  They are simply how people feel things should be.  And often they are built upon the experiences we have...living the lives we have lived.

It can be very hard sometimes to visualize a different way of life, but the more we read about (or watch about) how people who are different to us live, the more our horizons grow.  We start to see that there are many ways of living, and many ways of doing things.  We discover how other places handle issues, how they treat people, how they approach work or family or religion or government.

In almost all cases, as you start learning about other places, you realize that some people have it better than you, and others have it worse.  Understanding both sides of an issue helps you better recognize the full scope of it, and to see where you fall in the greater scheme of things.  Often, we think our situation is either good or bad, and we may find that our situation isn't really what we thought it was.

When you live your whole life in a single country, it's very easy to get caught up in that country's identity.  To believe the things you were taught in school, by your community, or by what you see with your own eyes in the world around you.  But you have to remember, all of those things are coming from a singular perspective:  that of the nation in which you live.  

 

Think of it like a lens that tints everything you see in a particular color.  If you put on glasses that have red lenses, not only will it shift how other colors appear, making you think they are something they aren't, but some things will be invisible to you.  When we really make an effort to learn about how other countries do things, we try on their glasses for a bit, and we start to see things very differently.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving the country you live in.  There isn't even anything wrong with having very conflicted feelings about the country you were raised in.  Many people identify very strongly with parts of their national identity, even if there are serious downsides.  You can even love your country and intensely dislike your government.

What learning about other countries does is help you see places where things could be different (whether that means better or worse).  It helps you recognize when you are being fed lies and what you might be taking for granted.

It also simply makes you more educated.  When speaking with people from all over the world, you don't sound like someone who has no clue about how other places work.  Making assumptions, whether you are assuming your country is the best, the worst or simply that everywhere else operates the same way, can make you seem quite ignorant when you make statements based on these false assumptions.

Whether you choose to take a stand in the direction your country is taking or not, educating yourself on how other countries handle things shows you the broader scope of how the world works.  It lets you make much more informed assessments of how things in your personal life are, compared to other people.  You may be surprised at how many things we take for granted just aren't available to others.  Or how many things we have been told are impossible are being done every day in other countries.

Altering Archetypes

 As Pagans, we tend to be pretty familiar with archetypes.  We have them for...well everything LOL.  But sometimes, the archetypes we work with aren't in alignment with our own truth.  Or, they feel somewhat outdated, as if they were how previous generations interpreted an archetype and we are left with something that doesn't fit our modern understanding of things.

I've always had a bit of frustration with the male archetypes.  The female archetypes feel pretty well rounded:  maiden, mother and crone.  I feel like they speak to phases of life more than vocation (though of course mother is a sticking point for many people, myself included).  And while the basic trinity has been expanded or adapted a lot, it remains a core way of thinking for a lot of people.

I feel like the male trinity (warrior, father, sage) isn't nearly as solid and is much more outdated.  Specifically, I think that the role of Father has changed so much over the years as our family dynamic, interpersonal relationships and just way of thinking about masculinity has changed.

When we talk of the role of fatherhood, things that almost always come up are being a provider (putting food on the table, bringing home the paycheck, keeping a roof over everyone's heads), being a disciplinarian ('just wait till your father gets home!') and being able of doing all the hard labor stuff (yard work, car work, home repairs).  The thing that gets me about this is most of those things have nothing to do with being a father!  They are just bits of our gender roles that have latched them onto 'adult males' and just like many people think the goal of a woman's life is to be a mother, we have bundled all these traits onto being a father, when many of them aren't nearly as tied to the role of father as they might have been in other times.

There are many ways to think about the term archetype.  I tend to think of it as the 'perfect' ideal of a concept.  I always think of the chair example.  The archetype of a chair holds all the basic bits we think about that define something as a chair (typically that it has something you sit on and puts you up off the floor, and it's for one person).  When we talk about a chair, most people have a basic idea that comes into their mind, and even if the specific chair we are talking about doesn't really resemble the idea in our head, we still recognize the 'chairness' of the thing we are discussing (especially true for some modern interpretations of chairs that may break any or all of those rules...yet we still acknowledge them as a chair).

For some reason, when it comes to an archetype like fatherhood, we loose the ability to separate specific traits from the idea of fatherhood (as an archetype).  If you think about traditional family roles, the traits we link to fathers are ones that the father was expected to fulfill.  The problem is that we've changed how we view families, and now we have a much broader definition, and that also changed the roles that the father plays in the family.

I want to think a bit about the concept of mothering for a minute though.  Many people (Pagans especially, since we talk about the maiden/mother/crone trinity so often) have adapted their definition of mother to include other creative nurturing.  Being in the Mother phase doesn't necessarily mean you have actual children.  I think many people have also come to accept that being a literal mother doesn't mean you automatically are a nurturing person (or that you are naturally inclined to take care of all children you encounter)

And yet, for some reason, I feel like our adaptation of the archetype of Fatherhood is still lagging behind.  It's like a lot of people don't know how to break free from these old ideas, even though they may know quite a few people personally who break traditional roles of fatherhood and recognize them as amazing fathers!  

With Father's day just around the corner, I think it's important to spend some time thinking about what you think about the archetype of the father, and what it means to be a father.  Look at the fathers you know, both your own and other people's and consider what you feel makes them a father.  Twist it up in your head a bit and think about what the role of fatherhood is in people who don't have biological children (in the same light as how the Mother phase of life is seen for women).

And if you have fathers in your life (again, both your own and fathers you know), perhaps consider letting them know they are doing a good job, even if they aren't matching the traditional image of a father.  Especially around Father's day, when media and everything else is reinforcing those traditional values...recognize the other parts of the archetype that you think should be more strongly associated with fatherhood.  It's only through continual linking of the qualities we admire in fathers that we will change how people view the archetype!

Your path is private

 We live in an age of sharing and public announcements about...everything.  So many people are posting their entire life online, and this has spilled over into our spiritual lives as well.  It's quite fashionable to post your altar pics, spells/workings, tarot spreads and everything else online for everyone to read.

And while I'm okay with anyone who wants to and chooses to do this, what I'm not okay with is any kind of pressure to share things that someone isn't comfortable sharing.  Whether someone is bugging you for details about a spell you cast or asking you to read their cards or wanting to hear about your interactions with any deities or other beings you work with...your path is private!

This means that you get to decide what and how you share anything regarding your path.  If you are out and want to post pictures of everything you do, go for it!  I adore seeing pictures or reading about other people's paths and practices.  It's super inspiring to see how people do stuff, and I've learned a ton from just being exposed to a million ideas that I might have never known about if people hadn't shared what they did.

But I also fully support everyone who chooses to not share specific things...or anything at all.  Some people aren't in a safe place to share stuff (especially in a public forum like social media).  Some parts of our practice are intensely personal and not the kind of thing for public sharing (and some things are so private you may never tell anyone about it, and that's fine too!)  And sometimes, things are just embarrassing, and maybe we don't want the whole world knowing that we spilled candle wax all over our carpet or how spectacularly wrong our prosperity spell went.  

I do want to speak a tiny bit about social perception though.  Sometimes, we may want to share something (like an altar picture or some spellwork we've done), but we stop ourselves because we have seen all the gorgeous pictures or perfect descriptions online and we don't feel worthy.  If the only thing that is holding you back is a feeling of being 'not good enough', then that is an opportunity to do some inner work and to remember that many people only post the absolutely perfect stuff online (and spend hours to set everything up), and we are all walking our own path, and if yours works for you, then it is perfect and if you want to share you should!

But, if you are only sharing something because other people are demanding that you do, and you don't really feel comfortable putting that part of you online, for any reason (even the above mentioned feelings of self-worth...only you know if sharing something will hurt more than it will help), then don't let other people pressure you into doing it!

I'm a pretty open person.  I'm blessed to have supportive family and friends and to be in a position where I'm not overly worried about my personal business effecting my life in a negative way.  And there are still things I don't share.  There are parts of my practice that I consider secret...they are between me and my gods and it's just something I don't talk about.  And honestly, some of the things I don't share are definitely due to self-esteem issues (video is my kryptonite, it has to be very important or the only way to share something for me to put myself on video lol), despite me knowing that no one else will ever judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

One thing to remember is that sharing doesn't have to be complete.  It is perfectly fine to draw your lines wherever you need to.  It's okay to explain the gist of a practice...while leaving out all the specifics which make it personal or private.  It's okay to edit things off your altar (or blur them out of a picture) before you share it.  Kind of like the concept of 'no is a complete sentence' comes the idea that 'private is all I have to say about that'.  You don't need to justify why it's private or explain why you don't want to talk about something...just say it's private.

A final note:  I am talking mostly about private practice.  If you are doing group work or working with a coven, you may be expected to share some things within that group...and likewise expected to keep some information secret within that group.  Make sure you are aware and comfortable with all levels of sharing and secrecy when you join a group...and if you ever get uncomfortable with what you are required to share (or keep secret), that group might not be the best on for you.

We can feel a lot of pressure to share things, either from specific people who are asking very personal questions or just the general culture of posting everything online that makes you feel like you aren't a 'real' whatever because you aren't posting a log of everything you do in your practice.  But setting boundaries on what you share publicly and what you keep private is a very healthy thing to do.  It may take some work to get those boundaries in place, but just remember...your path is private, and you don't owe anyone access to it!

Journaling as practice

 While it has become quite common for many people to have or use a journal as part of their practice, the act of journaling is often seen as an auxiliary thing.  You write things down as a secondary part of a primary practice.  But the journaling itself isn't seen as spiritual (with the exception of a practice like morning pages, which does embrace journaling as a daily practice).

I have a sort of funny relationship with journals.  I have a TON of them, and I do use them.  I tend to like themed journals, so I have tarot journals, magical journals, book journals, rune journals, study journals and activity journals (like for challenges and what not).  But I also often journal in phases.  I much prefer to journal by hand, but hand writing doesn't work well for me (my handwriting is atrocious, and it hurts me to write for any length of time by hand).

But there is something so very satisfying about grabbing a pen (or a handful, I tend to write in rainbows!) and filling a blank page with words.  I adore looking back through my journals and reading what I was about at different times in my life.  Even reading notes I took while researching a subject tells me a lot about my mindset at the time.

With Art and Junk Journals being quite popular right now, a lot of people are finding that creating beautiful artistic pages in their journals brings them a lot of joy.  I've seen fabulous spreads dedicated to a wide variety of topics, and there are definitely people who turn making these works of art into a spiritual practice.  Finding the right way to decorate a page to represent the information on it is a wonderful way to deepen your understanding (and experience) of a subject, whether it is one you are studying about or something you are reflecting on.

On the other side of the spectrum, Bullet Journals offer a lot of great organizational options, helping you keep all your writings neat and tidy.  And they are highly customizable, so if something doesn't quite work for you, simply change it!

But even if you aren't artistically inclined (or maybe you don't want/have the time to devote to this level of journaling), or you don't want to fuss with all the organization of a proper journal system, you can still use journaling as part of your personal practice.

I've been working with moon cycle journaling for just over eight months now.  The bones of my moon cycle journal practice are simple:  note the moon phase for the day, write an intention, and do one more thing for each phase (typically a card draw or more writing).  For me, taking the time to look up the phase (I use an app on my phone for this), and then think of an intention for each day helps me tune into both my daily life and the larger, natural cycles (that I often struggle to tap into, being very much an indoor person).

This moon cycle journaling led me to Sabbat journaling, and using my journal as a vehicle for observing and honoring the Sabbats.  I've journaled Sabbats (as record keeping) on and off for a few years, but I'll be honest, my actual observance of Sabbats isn't regular.  I try to keep my altar set for the current Sabbat, and to do other little things around my house to honor the shifting of the seasons, but I don't always have big work to do, so doing a full ritual (on my own), often feels off.  Instead, I find that spending some time writing about what the Sabbat means to me is helpful and allows me to honor the thoughts and feelings the Sabbat brings up for me.

Another journal practice I've started is an ancestor journal.  The idea is to have a place where I can write to my ancestors (blood, spirit or otherwise...pretty much anyone who isn't alive anymore).  This sort of encompasses themes from Samhain, Memorial day, Veteran's day, Mother Night and the many other times where we honor our dead.  But I like the idea of a journal that is kind of like letters to the dead, where I can talk to my beloved dead whenever I feel the urge.

And of course we have tarot journals!  I'm one of those people who thinks better in writing, so for me, journaling out a reading is an important part of the reading.  I also find that reading my notes on readings helps me to refine my understanding of specific cards.  I can see how I interpret the same card in different ways depending on the style of reading, the other cards involved, the deck and any other influences I may have experienced.

One thing I'm looking forward to is expanding my tarot journaling to include tarot journaling games, which I've recently become aware of.  I have a couple now that I've picked up, that include prompts that you then answer by drawing cards, but you weave a story in your journal, which I find absolutely fascinating.  And while it may seem to be a bit frivolous, I'm one of those people who learns best through play, so any way to play with my cards is a way to get to know them better.

I feel like one of the best things about journaling as a practice is it is something that you can do pretty much anywhere, with no one the wiser about what you are doing.  Which makes it great for travel or doing work when around non-witchy folks.  You can use your journal as a visualization tool, writing out what you are visualizing as you 'do' it (which means you don't need to have your tools or supplies with you, you can simply write out what you are doing and with what).  The brilliant thing about this is you can easily dip into guided meditations as well, where you note down the prompts, but then write out your responses.

In this digital age, of course you could also do some or all of your journaling online.  And you could absolutely make parts of it public (especially if you have other witchy friends who might want to journal along with you!), but I think there is something special about having words that are only for yourself, and journaling often fits that need.

So no matter how you do it, journaling can be a main part of your practice, not simply a way you make note of the other things you do.  Find new ways to entwine your practice and your journal, and you might be surprised at how robust a journaling practice feels!

Mental diet

 Diet (as in the food we use to fuel our bodies, not being 'on a diet') is something that we are constantly being reminded about, but we often forget that we need to feed our minds as well, and in the information age, this can be quite tricky (just as finding a good diet that suits your body can be).

It seems obvious that we should be mindful of the things we consume (from a mental standpoint), that if we constantly consume distressing content that we will feel unsettled, and that if we don't incorporate new information we may feel stagnant.  But figuring out how to tune our mental diet is a path full of hidden landmines.

We are surrounded by SO much information, and sadly it can be quite difficult sometimes to figure out what information is accurate.  Not only do many so called 'news' outlets deliberately tilt their articles toward whatever bias they embrace, sharing news becomes a form of telephone, where each time it gets passed along, new bits get left out and other bits get added, and the information you receive might be very different from the original truth.

As much as I hate that this is a thing, it falls on us, as the consumer of the information, to do a bit of fact checking.  Now, I don't think we all need to be researchers or that we need to have a handful of sources for everything we read, but there are a few simple ways to do a basic fact check that will help a ton.  

Firstly, look at the source.  There are sources (especially when we are talking about internet sources) that are flat out not news sources, but are often shared as if they were.  Satire sites especially like to create content for entertainment, but not everyone pays attention to the source, and if it looks like a legit article it may be treated as if it were one (even though the actual intent was to be humorous).  

There are also sources that are known to be quite sensational.  They find some obscure factoid and then figure out a way to twist it into some crazy theory and present that (in order to get more traffic on their site).  This is definitely more subjective, but if you start paying attention to the sources of the things you read, you will find that some are definitely less reliable than others.

And finally, there are interest group sites, which have a very biased slant.  Think of these as any site that is run by a group with an agenda (and yes I know this could be pretty much any site).  Often religious or special interest sites (like charity organizations) fall into this category.  They have a viewpoint, and they will only post information that supports their viewpoint.  Now, this doesn't mean that all the information they share is faulty, in fact some groups are great sources of information on the topic they focus on, but the bad ones will twist information (or flat out make it up) to suit their needs, so it's always worth remembering that and being aware of the potential bias.

The other big (but simple) tool for fact checking is to do a simple search.  You want to look for other articles or sites that have the same information.  Typically, if the majority of search results line up, you can feel pretty confidant that the information is legitimate.  Just be careful and peek at a few of the different sources as sometimes you will find that one article is just shared a bunch of times (it will literally be the exact same article, word for word, just posted on a variety of sites).

Weeding out false information can be a huge thing in maintaining a healthy mental diet, but you may find you need to go a step further and limit your exposure to people and sites that share these kind of sources.  You may notice that some people in your life thrive on digging up dramatic posts, just to get people fighting. If you find this inflammatory behavior to be distressing, then you may need to limit your contact with these people.

Everyone has different thresholds for what bothers them.  For some people, it can be enough that they just stop reading and scroll to something else when they encounter this type of drama, but for others, they may need to actually cull their contacts so that they aren't constantly being bombarded by these types of posts.  This can be really hard, especially if you have dramatic people who are family or who you have been friends with for a really long time.  But you have to consider the toll it is taking on your mental state and do what is right for you.

Now the flip side of these 'bad' mental influence is infusing your life with good mental input.  I think a mix of new information and entertainment is key (and again, what mix is right for you is highly independent!).

I feel like I need to point out that there is a difference between exposing yourself to different people's perspectives and treating those perspectives as if they were fact.  I think it is highly useful to learn about how people who are different to you think and act.  Even people who you absolutely don't agree with, if for no other reason than you can understand how they might react if you were to come into contact with them.

But often when we explore people who live and think differently from us, we can find some common threads.  We can see the ways in which we agree, but also the ways in which we disagree.  The great thing about expanding our mind in this way (especially through books and/or documentaries) is that it is a passive interaction...we aren't getting into a heated discussion with someone who may feel attacked by our different beliefs.  If we read (or watch) about different things, it allows us to wrap our heads around that different perspective at our own pace...even if our final thoughts are 'wow that's a bit crazy.'

I also feel like entertainment is necessary in life.  It's a sort of mental downtime, but I also find it to be nourishing.  I often am drawn to entertainment that fills a hole in my life, it helps me feel connected in a way that I'm not.  If I'm very stressed, I'll definitely turn to more simple, happy things, whereas if I'm in a good place I may want something a bit spicier or that has some drama.  I can create a balanced mental diet by adjusting what I am consuming to fill any voids in my life.

Our minds need stimulation as much as our bodies need movement, and by cultivating a good mental diet you are giving your mind things to think about, new ideas to play with.  It will help you build up your view of the world at large and help you to expand your horizons. 

Reflections for growth

 One of the assignments I disliked most when I was in school was reflections.  I think all my English teachers had us do reflections.  We would turn in a piece, and we would also have to turn in a reflection on our piece, and we would be graded on both.  Looking back, I'd have to thank my teachers, and apologize for the lackluster way in which I approached those reflections.

Reflection is a huge part of my life.  I'm a planner, planning helps me keep my life on track.  And for me, reflections are integral to my planning.  I give myself more space for each day, not because I need more space for tasks, but because I want to be able to reflect on each day.  Looking back at the day and writing about what went well (and what didn't) helps me stop and think about what is working (and what isn't).  Doing it daily means it's easy to directly connect my mood to the things that went on.

I also do monthly and yearly reflections.  Monthly reflections allow me those small 'bigger picture' moments.  I have a lot of tasks that I do on a monthly basis, so taking a moment to stop at the end of the month and evaluate the month helps me make sure that I'm staying on track and that the things I am doing are working for me.  If I need to make adjustments, a month is a great yardstick for whether the adjustments are beneficial or if I need to keep adjusting.

I'm in the midst of my end of year reflections right now.  I feel these are the big ones.  Since I do themed years, this is my time to look back and see how well I worked on that theme for the year.  My yearly reflections aren't judgemental, I don't think of it as succeeding or failing (even on years where I end up not being anywhere near where I thought I'd be at the end of the year), but more as a way to check in and see what the triumphs and struggles were.  Any struggles are examined as teaching moments...what can I learn from what went poorly and how can I support areas that I feel I am not well supported in.

And I think that's something really important to keep in mind when doing reflections.  It's not about beating yourself up...no matter how spectacularly you 'failed' at accomplishing your goals.  It's all about how to move forward.  It's all about growth and self-care and being honest with yourself.

When looking at places you don't feel great about, really be brave and explore why you feel the way you do.  Poke at what caused the issues.  It can feel overwhelming and it is easy to fall into a self-depreciation trap and only see the places we messed up...while ignoring all other factors.  But there is a lot to consider, and when you root out all the details you have a better idea of how to do things differently the next time.

Sometimes, we pick our goals poorly.  Maybe we thought we knew what we wanted, but as we explored it more it didn't really fit us well...but it was a goal so we stubbornly plodded along (but secretly resisted it and didn't ever have good motivation to work on it).  

Sometimes things completely out of our control derail our goals.  Maybe we got sick or injured, maybe our job situation changed, maybe our personal situation changed...and all of a sudden the resources we thought we'd have just aren't there.  These changes can be really hard to accept, but it's worse to continue to beat ourselves up for things that are out of our hands.

A common issue is that we bite off more than we can chew.  Especially if you are like me, and have a ton of things you are excited about, it's easy to set a bunch of goals for different areas of your life...and then realize you absolutely don't have time to do all of them justice.  When you're in the midst of it, it can be hard to see that if you picked a few less goals you would have been okay.  Especially when the individual things you were doing for each of your goals were simple, it can leave you feeling like you can't do anything.  This is one of those places where perspective really comes into play (it's also helpful sometimes to actually plot out all the stuff you need to do for all your goals in one place....tackling one goal that requires ten minutes a day is very different from trying to manage ten goals that take ten minutes a day)

It could also be that the method we chose to reach our goals wasn't a good fit to us.  We may feel very strongly about the goal, but we struggled to follow our plan.  Reflecting on the things that didn't stick can help us figure out why they didn't work, and we can come up with a new plan to try.

I also feel it's very important to recognize the things you did well, and not to just focus on what didn't go well.  It's really easy to get caught up in trying to 'fix' the things that you feel you failed at, but taking the time to reflect on the things that were good gives us that other perspective.  It shows us what works for us, and that gives us more tools to use for the things we want to work on.  Knowing your strengths is just as important as knowing your weaknesses!

This also includes recognizing those unexpected successes.  We often have things that we did that turned out surprisingly well.  Perhaps the tables were turned on you, but instead of dropping the ball you juggled everything and ended up being really pleased with yourself.  This is especially important to remember if the success was a small thing in the middle of a bigger mess.  If your day went horribly, but you rallied together and managed to do one thing extra well, you should recognize that!  I find that by looking for those small wins, I notice motivations I might have otherwise missed.  For me, when I'm feeling particularly bad, doing something small can turn my energy around, and the more little things I remember that I've done, the more options I have when I find myself in that place.

I think that too many people don't stop to think about how their life is going.  They just muddle through each day, as if it weren't connected to the days that had gone before, and I think they are just missing out on so much.  Growth is often impossible to see in the moment.  The only way to see growth is to compare where you are now with where you were before...that is all reflection is!  Looking back and seeing where you were, and then looking at the path that took you from there to here.

Reflection is such a great tool to use to help navigate your life.  It can remind you of the highs, of those fun, motivational, emotional and powerful moments.  It can also show you the places you are starting to wobble, allowing you to course correct before you crash.  And even if you hit a personal low, you can unravel the mess that you were in and see which threads you can cut to avoid ending up in that tangle again. 

Spiritual Roleplaying

 Roleplaying is something that has been a part of my life since childhood..back when it was 'playing pretend.'  I've always loved the idea of being someone different, of stepping into a world that is not my own, and of seeing where the story takes me.

I also feel that roleplaying often gets a bad reputation.  It's fine for kids, or it's okay as a hobby, but that's all it is:  a game (often for younger people that you are expected to grow out of).   And yet, roleplaying has so many benefits, and can be adapted to so many different areas of your life...and spirituality is definitely one of them!

Now, I know there is a bit of a stigma with crossing roleplaying with spirituality, especially as many people who don't understand Paganism or witchcraft assume we are all 'playing pretend.'  But at some point, we have to stop letting ignorant people dictate how we practice, especially when many of those people who are going to be extremely judgmental aren't going to listen with an open mind to what we actually do, they are just going to believe their own preconceived notions of our practice....so what we do is really up to us!

I also don't think that using tools like roleplaying makes someone more susceptible to loosing touch with reality, even when it overlaps with other areas of your life.  I get just as drawn into stories in books, tv and movies, and I have never had a problem knowing the difference between my actual life and any story-life I may be imagining (even when I use the story-life to explore things that I'm struggling with in my actual life...more on that in a bit).

It may surprise many people to realize that some of what we already do, especially with guided meditation, is a very basic form of roleplaying.  When we work with a guided meditation, especially one that has us interacting with things or having choices that lead to different visualized actions, we are engaging in rules-light roleplaying!

Now, for everyone who isn't familiar with tabletop roleplaying games (the ones with rules and dice, like Dungeons and Dragons), roleplaying games come in all levels of rules, from very light (where everything is story driven....much like visualization), to rule heavy (where every action you take has rules and parameters that determine how well you perform said action).  And all levels of roleplaying can be used spiritually, with a little bit of forethought.

We'll start with the very rule light versions, which as I mentioned are basically visualization.  The great thing about this style of roleplaying is it requires very little preparation or supplies.  You often are playing the 'role' of yourself, so you don't even have to think about how to act, you just do what you would do in a given situation.

The power of these types of visualizations is that you can give yourself different scenarios and practice what you might do in different circumstances.  This is great work to do alongside traditional spellwork, like if you are wanting to get a new job, you can do a spell to find a great new job, but you can also roleplay out (through visualization) callbacks, your job interviews and even your first day at the new job!  Using roleplay like this helps you calm any worries or anxiety you might have (especially if you get social anxiety), because you can practice the different things you need to do, and prepare for unlikely situations (like the interviewer asking you questions that throw you off).  By practicing through roleplaying, you become more confident and this will show through when you actually get that phone call or go in for the interview. 

And that leads us to the next version of roleplaying, where you are actually tweaking your own role a bit.  I think of this as Me+, in that I'm mostly being myself....just with qualities I wish I had more of.  So, if I am nervous and insecure about doing tarot readings for other people, I can think of the readings as roleplaying sessions, but instead of being myself when I do readings for other people, I am "Me, the professional tarot reader!"  You can also create a whole persona for yourself, like a new character, that is who you want to be as a tarot reader, and that becomes the character you play whenever you do readings.

It's almost like a mind hack.  By taking on a character, you can step outside of your insecurities and become someone who is skilled and confident at the task you are trying to accomplish.  You can use this for any thing you need to do, whether it is taking a leading role in a ritual or helping babysit your cousins.  

One nice little trick for this is to really think about who the character is you are going to be, and find something you can wear (clothing, jewelry, makeup) that will help you anchor that character.  You might have a particular ring that you wear as a tarot professional, or a shirt that the great babysitter wears.  Reserving those items for times when you are taking on the role of that character helps you stay in character and makes it easier for you to remember to embody them.  

Now the next step, in adding more rules to your roleplay, is to actually work with statistics and rules for success.  Now before I get into this, I need to talk a little bit about gamification.  Gamification is simply turning non-game activities into a game of sorts.  One of the reasons why people enjoy playing games so much is they get direct feedback and rewards for doing actions (often actions that might not be so fun on their own).

If you think about a video game, maybe you need to chop some trees down for wood.  If the entire game was just clicking on a tree enough times to get wood....and nothing more....most people wouldn't play the game, as it's not fun.  But, if you gather enough wood and now you can build a sword or a house or turn it in to a shopkeeper for some gold, now it is motivation.  It's no longer about chopping the wood, it's about the prize at the end.

We all have tasks in our lives that aren't so fun, but are necessary.  And sometimes, these necessary tasks don't really have good rewards.  Some do, like having a traditional job, where you put in the hours, do the work, and you get a paycheck.  Others have inverse rewards, like eating healthy.  For many people, eating healthy isn't the most fun (because unhealthy foods are tasty!), and the 'reward' is that you don't get sick....which isn't very tangible.  These are the kinds of things that can benefit from gamification, from adding in some light rules and creating rewards!

This might sound like pretty much every motivational system out there, and it basically is, but for many people that extra window dressing of making it feel like a game creates motivation to stick with it.  I worked with an exercise program that gamified working out, where you had some pretty basic exercises, but they were described in terms of a survival game, so instead of 'jogging for X minutes', you were traveling to the next town.  

One of the easiest ways to gamify your life is to dress things up in different terms.  Instead of drinking my morning coffee, I am brewing a potion to help revive me to life!  This can be a fun way to think about basic self-care actions, so if you struggle to drink enough water in a day, assign a value to each glass of water, and some way of rewarding yourself for meeting your daily minimums.  One neat way I've seen to do this to turn it into a battle, where you create a monster to fight, and each week it regains a certain number of hit points...in order to keep it at bay, you need to do your tasks to do damage to it.  Remember, rewards are key, so while tracking the damage can be a mini-reward, also find something to reward yourself for defeating enough monsters in a month!

Using gamification or roleplaying can also enhance your study.  I read something recently that talked about how repeating a skill during game play helped you learn it in less time (less repetitions) as compared to traditional learning.  I think that when we engage our imagination, when we create these alternative worlds and characters, we are using both sides of our brain, and it is memorable, which is why it's easier to learn.

So how can you use that to help you study?  I know that memorization is hard for a lot of people, and things like learning the meanings of runes (and remembering which rune goes with which meaning) can be really hard.  But you could build a game around the runes, where you use the rune meaning to create some kind of spell (Isa could freeze things or Kenaz to create light), and then create a world for yourself too explore, but in order to use your spells, you need to draw the right rune (and you can totally have your notes with you!).  It may sound a bit silly, but as you use your 'spells' over and over, you will start to remember what the symbols are.  And you can start getting more creative as you get more familiar with the basics, so to start you might use Fehu to tell you how much something is worth, but later on you might expand your understanding and realize you can also use it to change something's worth.

The important thing is that you have fun with it!  Roleplaying and gamification are all about having a good time, the goal isn't always obvious, and often the journey is worth more than the destination.  Try things out, see what works for you, and when you find something you enjoy...run with it!