Time correction

Time, as an exact thing, is a human creation.  Nature and the world around us has timing, but it doesn't have time.  Time helps us communicate and work together, and in order to all be on the same page we need to have a common language and system for measuring time.  But, in order to make it neat and tidy, we have found that, once every four years, we need to make an adjustment, we need to correct our time.

On a Leap Year, we add a whole new day, we fix the error in our timing, in order to bring everything back into sync.  This is a great time to bring other areas of our lives into sync, but also an energy we can tap into during the rest of the year.

There are so many different cycles we live through, whether it is the week, month, moon, seasonal, work week, school year...our life is a never-ending series of cycles.  And sometimes things will throw those off kilter.  I remember when I was in school, whenever we had to miss a day, the whole rest of the week felt like scrambling.  Today, I have my personal life set so I do certain things on certain days, and when I have to adjust that I feel very off-balance.

Setting our time back into sync can be as simple as making a conscious effort to either add or remove days.  When we add days, it's like Leap year, we are taking the day and setting it outside of time.  Often, we treat holidays like this.  They become these little capsules of time that don't follow the normal rules.

Think about holidays as a child....you often got fancy foods, you might have a different bedtime, or you might be allowed to skip your chores.  As adults, we often continue these trends.  When we get an extra day off, like for a holiday, we relish that time, and all bets are off.  We set it aside and really just give ourselves that gift of time.  It becomes time to catch up...not on things we 'should' be doing, but on things we wish we had time for.

I don't know how many times I have wished for extra hours in the day, and I am sure I am not alone.  We have so much we want to do, and often the fun things are pushed to the back of the list.  We say we'll get around to them when we have time, or when everything else is done.  And that time never comes.

So sometimes, we may need to make a conscious choice to give ourselves a day.  And then treat that day like a holiday from our regular duties.  Of course you will still want to make sure everyone is fed and the absolutely necessary stuff gets taken care of, but think about ways in which you can make even those duties fun.  You have to eat dinner, but you can make fun snacky foods or maybe get takeout, or pick your favorite frozen meal so you don't have to cook.  By setting the day 'outside of time' you are acknowledging that it is special and that it's okay to goof off.  And sometimes, that is exactly what we need.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, sometimes we need to make the mental adjustment to remove days.  My days are normally pretty free, but I do have days where I'm just not home.  I might have a lot of errands to run, or maybe I am going to an event.  Pretty much, if I am only going to be home for a few hours, I consider the day a null.  I find a way to reassign or just flat out cancel the normal stuff I would do, so I don't feel compelled to cram all the normal stuff into those few hours.

Some things are easy to put off.  I clean twice a week, but we can get by with once a week.  So if I can't clean the day before/after, then I just nix one of the cleanings (or do a partial, I might run a vacuum but not sweep or dust).  I have a decent little list of daily stuff that I do, and on null days most of that list gets scrapped. 

The big thing here is to do it deliberately, and to go into the day knowing it's going to be a null day.  Getting behind, being rushed, and then realizing you just simply can't do a thing isn't the same.  Because you will be thinking about it and it will be weighing on you.

 I also find that time correction may become necessary for regular routines, when things happen.  When we build up a habit, we want to keep that momentum running.  We might feel guilty for taking days off, or for breaking our own rules.  But sometimes, taking breaks can be what helps us keep going in the long run.

The immediate answer that comes to mind is cheat days on a diet.  Now there are two ways to approach cheat days, one is healthy, the other...not so much.  If you plan on a cheat day, and you treat it simply as a day 'outside of time' so your normal rules don't apply, then you can enjoy that day without guilt.  This is a great thing to do if you maybe have a friend's party to go to or your partner is taking you out for a special occasion.  You may not want to be thinking about the diet, you just want to enjoy the night, to appreciate that special time. 

The bad way is when you make a mistake (because we all do), and you cave into your impulses and you get that piece of cake...then say "Oh, well, since I'm now on a cheat day I might as well have half a dozen donuts, some cookies and this whole bag of chips...it's okay, it's a cheat day."  Because you didn't plan on the cheat day, and it wasn't done deliberately it becomes a guilty thing.  Plus you are over indulging, and almost trying to make up for all the restrictions you normally follow.  It's like if you were trying to set aside a dollar every day to save up for a big purchase you wanted, but you keep giving in to temptation and saying "Oh, it's just one purchase..." but buying something that costs more than you saved all week...you never actually save up enough for what you wanted.

 Letting go of days (or taking days off) can be very hard, so you might want to create a specific ritual to help you get in the right mindset (and not let these correction days get out of hand).  I do morning planning, so when I know I have a day that needs adjusting from  my normal routine, I can literally put that down in my planner, and schedule the off day.  Also, if it is something I know about ahead of time, I can plan around it...but even if it's a last minute thing, I can use my planner to shift tasks that absolutely need done, so that I can actually relax into the day.

But even if you don't have a regular planning practice, you can create a ritual or change something specific at the start of the day, to make it a conscious choice.  If you are taking a day off, maybe you don't even get dressed, but stay all day in your pajamas.  If it is a day you have to let go of, perhaps you plan on grabbing coffee and breakfast on your way to your first thing, instead of having to take even more time to do it at home (or you prepare something the night before, so all you have to do is grab it and go).

I personally love the phrase 'time out of time'.  I think of ritual time that way, as it doesn't quite fit in the normal flow of time.  I consider off days to be time out of time, as if they aren't quite real, and being able to step into that mindset may require a bit of ritual.  Consider lighting a candle and taking your watch (or phone if you really want to be ambitious!) and setting it on your altar...for the rest of the day. 

Calling upon the energy of Leap Day can also help you make that mental shift, so that you are able to adjust the time in your head.  And that is the most important thing.  Once you get your head in the right place, the rest will follow.  So, as we approach Leap Day this Leap Year, think about places in your life where you might need to correct your time...and plan on doing it!

Party with meaning!

Who doesn't love a good party?  Pretty much every group I've been  a part of, that does any kind of communal gathering, enjoys having a good time.  It's part of the reason why we gather.  And our Sabbats and celebrations are often a cause to gather, to have good food, to share company, to sing and dance, and to have a good time....pretty much a party!

And I'm all about getting my party on!  But I think we need to make sure that the meaning of what we are celebrating doesn't get lost.  One of the biggest parties around is Mardi Gras.  It's famous across the globe and people travel from all over to take part.  But I bet most people who join in the celebrations don't know what they are celebrating...they are just there for the party.

There are a few stereotypes about Pagans that are related to mindless partying.  In the early days (especially when talking about Wiccan covens), the rumor was it was all just an excuse to have an orgy.  With Heathen groups, it's that everything is all about getting drunk (and possibly playing with weapons).  With some of the earth-centric religions, some people think it's just an excuse to get high.

And I think all of those are really dangerous stereotypes.  I have no problem with sex, alcohol, or the drugs most commonly used for religious reasons, but if people think that our whole religion is based on using faith as a reason to be able to overindulge, that is a problem.  We are already fighting for legitimacy with people who don't want to accept what we do, and if they think it's all a smoke screen for socially unacceptable behavior, that just makes the struggle for acceptance that much harder.

But I also think it's dangerous on the inside.  If we start letting the party aspects of gatherings take over, and we loose the ritual aspect, we are cheating ourselves out of a deeper connection, both with ourselves and our faith.  It's like people who go to a religious service, but spend the whole time on their phone or daydreaming instead of taking part...why even go?

Historically speaking, a lot of festivals had a very party vibe, but they were partying with a purpose.  The night might start with a reminder of why the festival was taking place, and then people would actually start the celebrating.  I think this is a really good way to approach celebrations.

Having a clear line between the ritual part of an evening and the social part is also a nice way to handle things.  If you are having a gathering for a specific purpose, but also know that people will hang out and socialize afterwards, then making that boundary clear helps keep everyone in the right headspace.  I definitely prefer if drinking doesn't start until after the ritual (if the ritual involves drinking, that is fine, but don't be chugging down beers while waiting for ritual to start).

I also feel like if people get too deep into the party mindset, it can be hard to pull back out of that.  Joking, laughing and making irreverent comments is awesome when just hanging out, but not very appropriate for most rituals.  I don't feel like ritual needs to be super serious, but there is a weight to it that needs to be respected.  Being deliberately sarcastic can make the experience awkward for other people.

I find that making an announcement, about the start of ritual, is very helpful, as is having a transition activity.  We tend to smudge and bless people as they enter circle.  This not only helps everyone get in the right mindset, it also controls how people enter the circle.  It turns it from a mob moving to a procession.  Sometimes we will chant as we enter circle, which can help as well, especially when it's an easy chant to follow along, it gives people something to do and focus on while they wait on everyone to be in circle, so there isn't restlessness and a temptation to start chatting. 

Likewise, at the end of ritual, we normally make a clear statement that ritual is over and the feast and celebration is to begin.  Food is a great way to bridge the gap after ritual.  It gets everyone moving, gives them something to talk about (especially great if not everyone knows everyone else), and even allows for more shy people to ease into conversations (because they can be busy with the eating and just listen in for a bit without feeling out of place).

Normally, celebrations take off after everyone has eaten.  People are refreshed and ready to dive into conversations or break out the instruments and chant or dance.  Having shared food brings people together and often the conversations follow the theme of the ritual.  We will socialize, but there is that connection, remembering what the reason was for the gathering.

And I think that's the real important part.  You can have a wonderful party, you can relax and get wild, and still honor the root of the celebration.  Having that time for a more pointed and serious ritual at the start helps set the mood.  It flavors the rest of the gathering, and without effort people are drawn back to that theme. 

Many times, we gather because we are more solitary in our daily practices.  The coven structure isn't the predominant form of Paganism anymore, but we still crave to be with people who honor similar things.  We crave that connection, and through celebrations we can get together and enjoy both a beautiful moment of ritual and then the camaraderie of like-minded people.

Mental care is self care!

So, it's become sort of a tradition of mine, to broaden the definition of love as we approach Valentine's day.  I have talked about self care before, but I specifically want to talk about mental health in regards to self care and Paganism.

Firstly though, I want to acknowledge that everyone goes through mental issues, whether they are small and temporary or huge and permanent.  Whether they are diagnosed, self-diagnosed or unknown.  Mental health, in many ways, is like physical health, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and maintaining your mental health is a journey.  Your journey might include trained professionals, regular practice, friends, family, support groups or you may be traveling alone, but we all travel this road.

I have seen people say that you shouldn't practice if you aren't healthy, especially mentally, and this is one of the most harmful things that I think someone could say.  I want to talk about this from two different sides, the spiritual and the magical.

On the spiritual side, I think that our faith and religious practices often are a great boon to our mental health.  When we are struggling, we often turn to things outside ourselves for strength.  Knowing that the universe (the Gods, Spirit, Divinity...however you recognize it) is rooting for you can see you through very dark times. 

I also think that we often find a special community through our faith.  We find others who share the same beliefs (either in part or in whole), and they understand us in ways that other people can't.  We speak a common language, and when you need words of encouragement, they know what to say to help you. 

Now, many Pagans faith practice includes things that might be hard to do if you are in a dark or hard place.  And because we often practice alone (in the sense that we aren't going to a church and attending a service hosted by someone else, but are often in charge of our own rituals and practices), this can become a struggle where we feel like we are not being 'good' Pagans or that maybe we are letting our Gods down.

I personally feel that the Gods know when we are unable to do things versus when we are just being lazy and not wanting to put for the effort.  I also think that making allowances and doing what we are able to do takes a special kind of strength, and this is something that is recognized.  We may have to adjust our expectations, and find new ways of doing things, but we are not bad Pagans because we can't practice the way everyone else does (honestly there is no standard to be held up against, everyone's practice is what works for them, so you do you!)

On a magical side, there is some reasoning behind the concept that you shouldn't practice when you aren't well...however the flip side to that is sometimes the best time to practice is when you are in the thick of something.  Also, if you are struggling with a chronic condition, you may judge your days in different shades, and 'functioning' may be one of your better days. 

I personally find that, for me, when I am feeling particularly bad, giving myself something to do helps.  I will almost always choose 'easy' things, stuff that is more light and simple, but also fun.  Chanting is a big one for me, chanting is something I turn to when I am feeling poorly, and it helps a lot that I can pick chants that counteract what I am feeling!  But also something simple like checking in with my altar, maybe moving some stuff around, picking a new backdrop for my computer..things that don't take a lot of effort, but have meaning.  Sometimes it's as simple as taking a moment to sit and stare at the sky.

I also talk mostly about solitary practice, but if you work with a group or are attending a group function, and you have an issue that you are worried about or are struggling with, please mention it!  Depending on how well you know the group, you might want to bring one of the organizers aside, or you might speak in more vague terms.  It might even be as simple as asking if there is a quiet place where you can get a minute alone if necessary.  Or asking if certain topics are going to be explored that you aren't comfortable with (many people struggle deeply with certain things, and some rituals might be problematic...knowing ahead of time so you can decide if you need to opt out can be very helpful).

Sometimes, we still treat mental health issues as if they aren't as valid as physical ones (and we still sometimes don't treat physical issues with as much care as they deserve), but I think this is a conversation that needs to happen.  It is important for our Pagan spaces to be safe spaces, and this means for mental health as well as physical health.  I think that, as Pagans, we have so many lovely tools for working with our mental health, both on our own and in groups, and it is important to respect the process that people are going through, your Self especially!

No one knows your mind and mental state as well as you do.  Never let anyone shame you for feeling the way you do, or for doing things in a way that works for you.  And as we celebrate love this Valentine's Day, remember to shine some of that love back at yourself, wherever you may be and however you may be feeling on any given day....you are worthy and you are loved!

Is it bad luck...or?

We all go through times where it seems like nothing is working for us.  We drop things, we get hurt, we loose stuff, it rains, there are a million things a day that could go 'wrong', and when too many start to add up, we may wonder, are we just going through some bad luck, or is something else going on here?

It is inevitable that someone will bring up being cursed.  Especially once you accept the existence of magic and spiritual energy, the idea that someone else has created these circumstances in your life isn't that far fetched.  And it is absolutely possible that someone could have cursed you.  But what you really have to ask yourself is how probable is it?

First though, I want to talk about something else that could be seen as a cause for bad luck.  Now, you may or may not know my thoughts on Karma, but many people believe that 'what you do comes back to you' in one form or another.  Sometimes this sentiment is extended through multiple lifetimes, so things that happen to you in this life might be ripples from another life.

Though I am not a fan or follower of this idea, I'm going to play Devil's advocate for a minute here.  Let's say that the things that are happening to you are some kind of energetic reaction, and that sometime (in this life or another) you did something and now that action is swinging back towards you.

Think about this energy as a pendulum.  You pushed it, it swung out, and now it's coming back towards you.  There are several things you can do about it:  you can step aside and avoid it, you can redirect the energy, you can brace and grab the pendulum....or you can be caught totally unaware and get smacked in the back of the head with it.

Now, I tend to think that avoidance is just a temporary measure.  Let's say you dodge out of the way of the pendulum, so it swings past you.  But then, what does a pendulum do?  It reaches the end of it's arc and swings back.  So you will have to keep dodging, keep figuring out some way to avoid that energy until enough time has passed and it is depleted.

A similar thing happens if you redirect it.  You push it in another direction, but it will come right back.  And, because you have simply reacted to an incoming threat, you may not even be paying attention to where you are shoving it, so you might create a new ripple effect by trying to deflect it.

Obviously we don't want to get caught unawares (though that is often how this whole thing starts), so we are left with bracing and grabbing it.  It's kind of like catching a ball, if you are prepared, there is some impact, but you can absorb most of it, and then you have the ball (or pendulum). 

Now, remember, we were talking about Karma, so the base of the idea is that this energy was something you sent out.  Being able to brace and catch it implies owning up to what you did (and possibly taking action to help correct the initial imbalance).

Of course Karma isn't the only reason why you might be having bad luck.  Sometimes we are the direct cause of our 'bad luck', but we can't see it.  It can sometimes be hard to see our own faults, or to see clearly when we are in a bad place.  If we are exhausted, we may be more clumsy than usual, and being that tired also often means we don't think right, so it just seems like we are having a string of bad luck, but really we are so tired we aren't functioning properly.

A very common type of bad luck is relationship bad luck.  I think we have all had a friend who complains constantly that they have the 'worst luck when dating', and they are absolutely convinced that no matter who they go out with it will end badly.  But what they can't see is that they are picking the exact same type of person, and that is what is leading to the bad relationships.  This type of bad luck is often very hard to see from the inside, because your feelings cloud your judgement.  It can be hard to trust your friends over your heart, but when they keep pointing out the same thing, it may be time to listen.

Sometimes our bad luck is a lack of proper planning.  This often happens in regards to money issues.  When someone doesn't plan for the unexpected, but instead spends all their money all the time, then gets hit with something unusual, and they say it's 'just their luck' that it happened a week before payday.  But they don't change anything after that experience, and it happens again and again, and it isn't just luck anymore, it's a failure to adjust and plan.

Now, like I said at the start, it is possible that you are actually cursed.  People come in all kinds, and there are nice people and nasty people.  This is true in the magical community as well.  Just like there are Trolls on the internet who don't care who they hurt, as long as they are hurting someone, there are people who will curse anyone, for any slight.  There are also people who let their emotions run away with them, and will curse you in the height of passion, because they got upset and acted before they stopped to think.

There are lots of ways to protect yourself!  Of course regular cleansing and shielding help a lot, but there are also protections you can cast on your property to help ward off any bad energy sent your way.  A very common method is to place (often bury) something at the four corners of your property, as a form of protection.  This might be protective talismans, witch bottles, crystals or whatever you prefer to use for protection. 

My personal favorite specifically for curses or other malignant, directed energy is mirror protections.  You might bless and charge a mirror to protect you from curses.  I use a small, pocket mirror, and I have placed a protection sigil in it, so the sigil is reflected in the mirror when it's closed (this way it protects from all sides).  You can also visualize the mirror, as a form of shielding.  What I like about the mirror protections is they send energy back at the caster, so it's a bit more aggressive than just shielding or protecting yourself, but I think that if someone is sending things my way, then sending them back is fair game.

One interesting sub-set of actual cursing is accidental cursing.  Energy follows thought and emotions, and if someone is feeling something intensely enough and wishing for harm to come to you, they may be sending that energy your way.  It won't be as focused as if they were doing it on person, but it can still be powerful.  I actually think this kind of cursing happens more than intentional cursing.  You can guard against this type of cursing exactly as you would intentional cursing, and if you like, you can even word your protections to help people see when they are unintentionally sending bad energy out.

It is actually possible to 'curse' yourself as well, and this is a big part of what negative self-talk does.  If you are continually thinking that you are unlucky, you will be seeing and remembering the bad things that happen to you more than any good.  I have talked to people who absolutely believe themselves to have the worst luck ever, and objectively they actually come out on top more often than not.  But because they only focus on the bad times, that is all they remember, and they start to create more bad luck.  Some of this is pure self-sabotage, if you feel like you are doomed to do poorly at something you won't typically try as hard as if you are determined to succeed.  The best way to counteract this type of curse is through paying strict attention to your self-talk, and changing how you view your life.

There is one final thing that I want to talk about, when it comes to strings of bad luck.  Sometimes, they just happen.  It's like the example of flipping a penny.  The odds of flipping a penny heads 100 times in a row are astronomical, but possible.  The thing to remember here, is that if you have flipped the penny 99 times to heads, the next time you flip that penny, the odds of getting heads (on that single flip) are still exactly 50/50.  Sometimes there is absolutely no reason for bad luck except...bad luck!

What it is important to do, if you are experiencing a string of bad luck, is to do your due diligence.  Check to see if there are logical causes for what is happening.  Check to see if there are people who might actually be seeking to cause you harm.  Consider the fact that it might just be bad luck.  Boost your protections if it makes you feel better, but don't live in constant fear that people are cursing you, because while possible, the other options are typically much more likely.

Immigrant spirits

 Many people's paths involve working with spirits, either the spirits of nature, spiritual beings, spirits of the dead or other spirits.  Many of us also have a cultural lean to our practice that flavors the words we use and the beings we call upon.  I consider my path Norse-fusion witchcraft, so while I do absolutely use words and ideas from other areas of the world, my default is Norse.

So I work with landwights and housewights and am slowly expanding my vocabulary and practice to include other spiritual beings.  And some of the time I think about this as my way of of naming local spirits, but other times I wonder if we don't bring spirits with us when we travel...or call them to us if we work with spirits that are not native to where we currently live.

Many types of spirits, especially those that are considered fey, are localized.  Their stories grew in a particular area, and even though cultures across the globe might have 'trickster spirits' or 'house spirits', the particular type of spirit has distinctions, it is different.

To me, this is an extension of how I view deities.  I don't think that Freyja and Cupid are 'the same' just because they are both love deities.  It's a bit less clear with spirits, because most of the time we aren't talking about a single named spirit, but rather a classification of beings.  But just like I wouldn't consider "Irish men" and "Australian men" to be the same...they are both still men, so they kind of are.

This brings to my mind the question of whether or not, when I call out to the 'wights of my land', am I using a foreign name to address local spirits or am I actually calling foreign spirits to come and live with me and inhabit the land I am on?

My personal thought is a bit of both.  First, I think that spirits view physical space differently than we do.  I don't think they travel in the same ways...with the same limitations.  So if I call on a spirit from across the globe, it can come to me regardless of the distance between us. 

But I also think that some spirits are tied to very specific environments.  Think about the idea of a dryad, a tree spirit.  A very common believe about dryads is that they are tied to their tree.  Now there is some debate on whether this is a specific tree, a tree in a specific forest, or a specific type of tree (ash trees or oak trees for example), but that they are not able to stay away from their tree/s for long.  So, if I were somewhere with no trees at all, and I were to call on a dryad, it either may not come or may not be able to stay long.  I think that there are many spirits that have these kind of ties to land features or particular areas of land...or even specific items (and buildings can be an anchor for them).

I also think that some spirits become attached to people, whether it is an individual, a family, a bloodline or a culture.  I think ancestor spirits are most likely to have this kind of attachment.  And I think that some of these types of spirits travel with us when we move.  Especially when a big chunk of people move, the spirits that they work with as a culture will be drawn to move with them.

Modern life gives us really interesting questions to examine, when it comes to spirits.  In America, for example, many people hold a strong cultural connection to other countries, the country of their genetic origins.  They may have immigrated over generations ago, but they still consider themselves German or Chinese or Nigerian.  And I think that the spirits of their people are drawn to where there are large groups of that ethnicity, or places that have become cultural hotspots.  There are more Chinese spirits in Chinatown than there would be in Little Italy.

This got me thinking about feelings of homesickness.  Whether you are away from home or if you feel that 'home' is somewhere other than where you live, sometimes you feel these really intense feelings of missing home.  In a way, it reminds me of when you are talking to someone who is far away....you are feeling that connection which is reminding you of what you don't have right now.  And it makes me wonder if some of our feelings of homesickness is intensified when the spirits of home visit us and remind us of that place that we are missing.

This can also be experienced by an intense connection to a place we've never been.  We might have started developing a relationship with spirits that are connected to that place, and so now we have that connection, and are feeling it.  We may not even be aware of the nature of the spirits we are connecting with, but they have ties to the place, so now we do to.

I don't feel like spirits become invasive in the same way that foreign plants and animals do.  If you bring a plant or animal into a new environment, sometimes they become pests because there are no natural competitors or predators for them.  While I do feel like there can be competition between spirits, especially if, for example, there is only one real lake in the area, and there are already local spirits there, if a foreign lake spirit were to come to the area, there might be some friction.  But most of the time, I think that immigrant spirits maintain their homeland roots, and act as sort of visitors, so you may find it easier to connect with them at the local lake, but they still call their native lake home.

Home spirits I think are very unique.  Many times old homes have spirits themselves, but I tend to think of house spirits as spirits that inhibit a house with you rather than the spirit of the physical house itself.  I think we can bring our house spirits with us when we move, or we can invite new spirits into a house (and banish a pesky old house spirit, especially if the previous tenants were not so pleasant and attracted a troublesome house spirit).  Out of all the spirits I have known, house spirits seem the most malleable, they adjust to the people living in their house, especially if you reach out to them.

 We associate so many spirits with physical features, it can be hard for us to break free from the idea that spirits are locked into one area.  I think that it is well worth exploring the ways in which spirits immigrate and travel, and the ways in which we can work with spirits who have strong ties to places far away from our physical location.  There is a lot to be gained by working with the spirits that inhabit the spaces around you, but I don't think that working with local spirits prevents you from also developing relationships with spirits who originate from further away.  As humans have migrated and spread out over the globe, spirits have followed us.

Magic by any other name...is still magic!

 We recently re-watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a favorite series in my house), and there is a scene where Cordelia is burning some photographs after breaking up with Zander...and it got me thinking.  There are a ton of things that we do that are magical, even if we don't think about or call them that.

Burning or otherwise destroying old photographs, or letters, after a breakup is a classic way of dealing with the heartbreak of the loss.  It is also a great way to banish things we want to be rid of (which might include the memories of what we no longer have, that deep emotional connection that is no longer there). 

What I think is odd is that if someone finds out a teen got dumped and is tearing up all their old love letters and burning pictures, no one thinks it's bad or evil.  But if you mention that you are doing a banishing and burning a picture, suddenly it becomes a thing of fear.

 Another 'ordinary magic' moment comes with wishing.  We wish on all kinds of things:  birthday candles, eyelashes, dandelion fluff, stars.  It's something we teach children, it's something that is completely socially acceptable.  But if you do a ritual action (which all of those things mentioned are ritual actions), and then call it a spell, it suddenly becomes a dangerous thing.

Breaking free from these stereotypes can be difficult for many people.  They grew up hearing scary stories about what witchcraft and magic are, often associating them with demons or Satan or mental health issues, and they bring those associations with them.  They may feel drawn to learn more, but a part of them is also scared.

Looking for the many ways we practice and celebrate magic in our lives can help to lessen those old stories, to make it easier to see that magic isn't what we grew up thinking it was.  When we start to notice the places that magic manifests in our lives, we can see how we are already doing it.

Many people consider themselves semi-superstitious.  They may laugh it off and not be very serious about superstitions, but they will still throw salt over their shoulder or avoid crossing under a ladder (especially when no one is watching).  A lot of superstitions are built on magical theory, even the ones that seem mostly arbitrary.

Think about crossing under a ladder.  There doesn't seem to be any real danger there.  Yes, the ladder (and anything on it) could fall on you, but most of the time that isn't a big threat.  I think this more falls into the category of liminal space.  The area underneath the ladder becomes a temporary doorway...the kind of doorway that is often associated with the fey, and there are many, many warnings about interacting with them.

A lot of superstitions involve ritual actions for luck..or ritual actions to ward off bad luck.  Take knocking on wood.  This is something that many people say and do when they talk about something that 'might' happen, but is undesirable.  They knock on wood (or say "knock on wood") to counteract the 'curse' of even mentioning it.  Kind of like when people groan whenever someone says "This is going great!" because they feel that pointing out the good luck will cause something bad to happen.

Interestingly, again this belief often goes back to fey, spirits or Gods, and the idea that if you talk too highly about something, or point out how well things are going, some malicious (or trickster) spirit will come and change your luck.  There are many cultures that avoid praising people to keep the attention of the Gods away from them.

Another really interesting place where magic seeps into our everyday life is with weather predictions.  There are a TON of signs that people look for, in regards to the weather, and it is a common joke that we know so little about weather that you should listen to what the weatherman says...and expect the opposite.  But weather predictions are a mixture of divination and science. 

In many forms of divination, we are looking for signs and omens, things that tell us something is coming.  We interpret those signs to see what we think might actually happen.  A lot of weather omens are actually based on years of observation.  People would see things happen in the world around them, and notice that when there was a halo around the moon, rain would often follow.  And many of these signs are based on noticing atmospheric changes that do often lead to a specific weather occurrence.  Where the randomness often comes in is that there are so many factors effecting the weather, that just because one indicator is there, doesn't mean something else might change the effect.

One sort of strange place where magic appears is with lucky items....or talismans.  Often, when we first 'discover' a lucky thing, we will have some fortuitous event, and our mind will latch onto an object present at the time.  We associate that boon with that object, and it becomes lucky in our mind.  Where the magic comes in is now we start to ritualize our use of the object.  If we had a particular pencil when we aced a test, we now want to use that pencil for all tests, because it will help us get a good grade.  If we hit a home run while wearing a particular pair of socks, we now want to wear them to every game (and may not want to wash them, to avoid washing the luck out).

As we continue to use the object, anytime something good happens, we reinforce that talisman, and build that energy in it.  Eventually, it does have the effect we believe it to have..because we believe in it and we've invested all this time in building that connection.  This is essentially what we do when we choose to create a talisman, except instead of our subconscious mind picking the item for us, we deliberately choose an item to imbue with a property (such as luck, though you can create talismans for many different things!).

Sometimes adding more magic into our lives isn't a matter of doing more...it's a matter of seeing what is already there.  There is magic all around us, and often in the things we are already doing.  As we become more aware of this, we can tune in and put more deliberate attention on the actions we are doing, which makes the magic work better and quicker.  We can charge our lives and enhance the magic that we are already tapping into!  Just by being aware, and looking for the magic that already exists.

Never Forget

"We will never forget," is a phrase that gets used a lot, both within the Pagan community and without.  Anytime a big tragedy strikes, you will see the words "Never forget" on pictures, calling us to honor and remember those that have lost their lives.  We say we will "Never forget" in regards to the witch trials or other times and places in history when people were killed and tortured out of fear, in the name of witchcraft.  We say we will "Never Forget" you, when we mourn those who are lost to us, no matter how they died.

And yet, we do forget.  It is a natural process of time.  The further back you go, the harder it is to remember.  So much time has passed, and as we get further removed from a situation the emotions soften.  We don't remember the horrors in technocolor gory detail, not the same at all as someone who is living through it.  As generations past, the stories that get told loose something in the details.

Part of this is that so many stories are told by the winners, who will always try to downplay the atrocities that were committed.  Sometimes it is because the survivors are still struggling with what they went through and aren't ready to talk about it, or they don't want to pass that trauma on to others.  And sometimes, there is no one left to tell the stories, and we, in the present, can only wonder what actually happened.

But we have ways to dig into the past, to fill in the blanks and to help rewrite the books that have been spreading lies.  Sometimes we are aware of the greater truths, but we teach softer stories to our children because we don't want to burden them.

Truth should not be a burden, and it is possible to tell true stories and still keep them appropriate for younger audiences.  There are hundreds of teaching stories, around the world in every culture, that use symbols to tell stories in ways little minds can grasp. 

The power in keeping the truth alive comes not only in remembering and honoring those who were lost, but also in keeping the lessons alive.  We can look at the horrible things that happened, and all the signs and steps along the way that led up to these pivotal moments in history, and we can see what to avoid when we are faced with those same choices.

Uncovering the truth isn't always easy.  Sometimes it means doing a lot of research and figuring out what information is accurate by finding records that agree with each other.  Sometimes it means taking the time to find people who have heard the stories or grew up in different times, and really listening to what they have to say.

Part of finding the truth is also learning to let go of the things we expected to be true.  The past isn't some romantic vision, there are good parts but there are also lots of ugly parts.  The same is true about our current times!  For every time and place in the world, there will always be some good and some bad, and you have to be willing to see both in order to get a complete picture of what is going on.

Some of the trouble we get into, with the way we recount history, is that we want to only show one side of the picture.  If we think it was a good time, we only want to share the good, and if it was a bad time we only want to share the bad.  Some people act as if by showing the good in the bad or the bad in the good we are somehow diminishing the overarching themes.

But if we remember the yin yang symbol, we know that all things have both, and being aware of the small porting that doesn't match doesn't invalidate the rest of the experience.  In fact, I think that finding those opposing stories sometimes highlights the horror or the beauty in a memory. 

Acknowledging that bit of the opposite is often a way of honoring the human parts of ourselves.  We recognize that good people can make mistakes and horrible people can have redeeming qualities.  But just as we wouldn't stop loving our parents because they made a bad choice or had a bad habit, we shouldn't forgive people who do atrocities just because they love kittens or took care of an elderly neighbor.

I feel it is our responsibility, as human beings, to be able to remember what has happened, to be able to tell all of the details, to share both sides of the story, and to still be able to see the big picture.  We need to stop using these tiny exemptions as a way to invalidate a whole big thing.  We need to look for ways in which we may be starting to walk the same path as we have, in times past, and decided, with full knowledge, which way is the better way to go.

And we need to remember those who came before us, not as shining paragons of all that is good or horror stories of all that is bad, but as real people, with both flaws and gifts, with things they did well and things they did poorly.  We can look at other people and see ourselves reflected in them, and accept all that we see.

We should never forget, because there is so much value in remembering.  We should never forget because there is no reason to keep making the same mistakes.  We should never forget because it was hard to hold those memories.  And we should never forget because the past is what makes us who we are today.