Friday, September 5, 2014

PBP- Week 36: Risks and Results

My parents work with a business structure that involves dream building and other visualization exercises. We were talking about it one day, and he made the comment that he thought that one of the things that was holding him back was that their life was too comfortable. He could (and did) desire things, but they were all in the category of 'wants' and not 'needs'.

The model used for business related visualization is very similar to a lot of magical workings. You have a goal (or dream), and you put energy into fully visualizing it. You can use affirmations, pictures, writing or whatever medium you feel most moved to use, but you really have to commit. It has to be something that you feel so deeply that it almost becomes the central focus of your life. This type of focused concentration changes the way the brain sees itself, and you will find yourself moving towards where you want to be, sometimes by very startling coincidences.

That type of focus requires a similar degree of risk. Not always in the physical sense, although often when people want something badly enough, they do put their jobs or home or family on the line to pursue it. But definitely in the mental and emotional sense. When you commit to a dream to this degree it does change who you are inside. You become a new you. And the longer the inner you and the outer you don't match, the more it can eat at you.

But like a lot of things, there is no growth without risk. If you never shed your old skin and become someone new, you will stagnate. Your current skin may feel right, but it may be slowly suffocating you, pinching off bits of you so that they atrophy and wither away or keeping you from reaching new heights.

The big thing about risk (and dreaming) is that it really doesn't work unless you jump in with both feet. You can't really dip your toes into it. You can definitely act carefully and think things through, but there is almost always a point of no return. A cliff that must be jumped from if you want to fly. Change is not only inevitable it is irreversible. Think about it, even if you manage to go back to a place you used to be at, you have changed and that makes it something new. Every breath we take changes us, and there is no going back.

But with this risk comes reward. Whenever we open ourselves up to change and really embrace it, we are stretching our wings a little bit more. Even if we stumble and don't quite reach our goal (and sometimes we do try for things that we aren't ready for), we have still summoned up our courage and made the effort. The next time we set a goal, even for something of a very different nature, it will be a little bit easier. We will remember the times before that we were afraid or nervous or wary and that we were able to move past it. We will remember how hard it was to get moving that very first time, but also how the second time it wasn't quite as hard.

I also think that belief is a big part of the risk/reward cycle. And belief is like a muscle we must build too. Society teaches us to be skeptical. We are raised to look for the why's, to search out the ways in which the mystery can be explained, instead of learning to accept miracles as the wonderful things they are. Belief is what fuels our dreams, belief that we can be and have the things we want. Belief that we are good enough, strong enough, deserving enough. And it can be hard to build that belief. Some times we have to start with little things, tiny things, stuff that seems almost trivial. Perhaps instead of working on a new job, we will work on getting through the next big meeting. But each time we dream a little, we build up our capacity for belief.

Cause and effect is a tricky thing. Science would have us believe that there are distinct events that lead up to an inevitable conclusion. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of science. But what many people miss is that if you go deeper into science, we discover that 2 + 2 doesn't always equal 4. I think one of the greatest (and most convoluted and thought provoking) scientific theories I have read about delved into quantum mechanics and the improbability of the creation of our own universe. That the circumstances for life are so exact that the probability of it happening the way it did is so crazy as to be almost implausible.

So what does this have to do with using visualization to achieve results? Well logically, no matter how much we think about something, it doesn't make a lot of sense for it to actually change the world. And yet, when we do visualize, we often see changes. This is where our belief comes back into play. If we see changes and we spend all our time and effort trying to deconstruct how they came to be, we are not enforcing our beliefs. In fact, we are undermining our own process. If, we instead give gratitude, not only for the results, but for the many people and things that helped us get there (all those pesky coincidences), we focus on the wonder of it all and we build up our belief.

The greater our belief, the more we feel we can risk. The more we risk, the greater our belief gets built. It doesn't matter really how the results happen. We are better and stronger for the process.

So what if you risk and fail? How does that effect our belief? I think there are a lot of ways to look at it. Many people find comfort in the concept that they didn't get one thing because 'it wasn't meant to be'. Often this is based on the idea that a higher power knows better and that what we wished for might not have actually been in our best interests (or that there is something better that we will or have received instead). I often think of it as swimming along a river. I can swim with the same intensity each time, but depending on the state of the river, I may or may not actually get where I am going. If the current is with me, then it is easy, but if the current is against me, then I may not succeed. The current can be anything from the belief or actions of those around me to the laws of physics.

The main key to using failure to reinforce belief is that however you look at it, the reason for the failure is not that the process itself doesn't work, but rather that some unknown (to you) force interacted with your actions to create a different change than you were working towards. It always comes back to belief. Keep your belief in yourself and your process strong and you will see results.

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