This is from The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And it is a quote within a quote!
There's only one way to get through the fog of fear, and that's to transform it into the clarity of exhilaration. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I've ever heard comes from Fritz Perls, MD, the psychiatrist and founder of Gestalt therapy. He said, "Fear is excitement without the breath."
Fear is something that I struggle with on a regular basis. And it particularly irks me because it is a pretty recent development for me. I remember being fearless as a child. And more than fearless, when something was considered scary or intimidating, I tended to run right towards it and poke it with a stick! I was definitely operating out of a very tomboy need to prove myself, not only to the world, but to myself. I had to know that I could do anything I set out to do, and that I was stronger than all those dark things that other people ran from.
Somewhere, over the years, fears started to creep in. Some of them I know where they are rooted, and some I am not quite so sure. Most of my fears I know, in the thinking parts of my brain, that they are not worth stressing over. This isn't to say they aren't real, but rather that my being controlled by fear doesn't make the situation any better. My fear isn't making me more cautious or stopping me from making reckless decisions, it is only making my life miserable when I am faced with certain things.
So here is where the quote comes in! Fear creates a state of anxiety and panic in the body. It is a heightened state of nervous energy. Excitement creates a similar state of energy, but instead of the energy trying to pull you away from a thing, it is pulling you towards it! Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin.
I've tried to use deep breathing before, to combat my fear. I took long, deep breaths, trying to settle myself, often using a mantra or chant to further enhance my calm. I drew my breath deep into my belly, like I would when doing deep meditation. And while it helped a little, it really didn't work.
Thinking about this quote and the idea it represents, I think this is because I was trying to take this fear/excitement coin and turn it into a flower...instead of flipping it over! Because fear and excitement are so similar in their energy, it is much simpler to transmute fear into excitement than it is to turn fear into calm.
So how does it work to breath fear into excitement? How is that different from what I had tried before? One article I read talked about how we often hold our breath or take shallow breaths when we are afraid, but when we are excited, we take deeper breaths. The suggestion given was to imagine blowing out a birthday candle. Take a deep breath and then exhale deeply as well. Not only does this help you focus on breathing, but it also anchors the breath with a positive visualization!
I love breath work. I have worked with many different types of breathing, and when I tried this, and also thought about how I breath when I'm excited about something, I realized that I breath deeply, but into my chest! When meditating and enhancing calm, I breath into my belly, my chest barely moves, while my lower belly fills out like a balloon. However, when I am gearing myself up for something or building energy, I will often breath into my chest...so my whole rib-cage expands while my belly actually draws in at first. Even a few breaths like this, I feel supercharged of oxygen. It is a technique I have seen divers use, to prepare for diving underwater without any type of air tank.
I can definitely feel a difference in my body after breathing this way. Several articles suggested other advice to go along with the breathing. Embrace the sensations in your body, but keep steering them towards excitement. Feel that jittery energy building in you, and think about a time that you were so excited you couldn't even sit still (or imagine yourself as a toddler who can't wait to do something super fun). For me, as silly as it sounds, widening my eyes helps build that feeling up too.
Notice any negative self-talk that tries to butt in, and acknowledge it, thanking your mind for pointing things out, but then reword that information into something that you can feel excitement about. This might take a lot of work! It might not be something that you can do at first. You may need to just start with acknowledgment and gratitude for the warning, then turning back to your breathing. But keep at it! Keep looking for those positive perspectives! Ask your inner voice how you can benefit from the situation. Any little thing can work!
One of the things that really triggers my fear recently is flying. I used to love flying when I was little, and I've flown a lot over my life. I have probably flown an average of 2 times a year (well one round trip, so two days of flying). I know, in my logical brain, that flying is not overly dangerous, and that traveling by car is more worrisome. I also know that some of it is knowing that I can't get off the plane (though I'm not claustrophobic in other places). And I do get motion sick, so turbulence causes anxiety too (and feeds into my other fear of getting sick...lol). None of those fears really has an upside, or at least I haven't figured out how turbulence is a good thing. What I can focus on, however, is why I am flying. For the past decade or so, I have flown to visit my family in the summer. My son flies with me. I definitely don't want him picking up my anxiety, so I focus on trying to remain positive and upbeat for his sake and on my wanting to spend time with my family once I land. On the way home, the desire to be in my own home is a huge motivator as well.
I am actually really excited to put this technique to the test. I am a firm believer in the power of breath. We breathe every minute of every day of our lives. And we can breathe in so many different ways! Breath is such a simple tool with so many uses. So embrace the fear, transmute it and breathe on!
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