Wednesday, July 19, 2017


I have a sort of strange relationship with money.  In a lot of ways, I am very good with money.  I don't spend a lot, and when I want something big or nice, I have no problem saving up money until I have what I need to get it (as opposed to buying things outside of my means or using credit for things that I just 'want' and don't 'need').  But, I also typically don't have a lot of actual money.  On any given day, I will probably have less than $20 in my wallet (and if I don't have the cash in my wallet, I don't spend money).

Of course, I am only talking about fun money here.  We have money in our accounts, and I go grocery shopping and pay bills and do all that other money stuff every month.  So the essentials get handled, I just have this strange outlook when it comes to spending money.

I sometimes have odd moments, where someone will mention that they just found out about a thing and had to have it, so they put in an order or bought it right then.  Or that they are out of spending money 'for the month/week' and will have to wait until next month/week to get something.  While I am starting to build up some personal income (with things like Patreon), this is sort of a foreign concept in my daily life.  For most of the past decade, I haven't had any sort of regular personal income, so either I had money or I didn't, but money was never something I planned on having.

We have this concept of wealth and money as an indication of how successful you are in life.  And of course money gives you opportunities, many of which you can't have otherwise.  It allows you to purchase things you may want or need, but more importantly it allows you to have experiences.

In some ways, I am a stuff person.  I love certain kinds of things:  books, tarot cards, games, dice.  These are mostly things that I always want more of, there are always new ones I would love to have and work with.  I enjoy other things in more limited ways:  clothes, nail polish, food (as in more splurge food instead of just basic food).  These are things that I very much enjoy, but I don't typically spend much time looking at things I might want to have.

I don't have a lot of regular personal expenditures.  I don't wear makeup or perfume every day.  If I am on my own (which I am a good chunk of the week) I don't eat out or order in.  I often go months without spending any 'extra' money at all.

And what I have come to realize is that there are lots of ways in which I have a ton of abundance in my life, that I sometimes don't appreciate.  It's not that I feel like my life is lacking, but more that I don't stop and take the time to really be grateful for all the things I have.

I have pretty broad tastes, so it is easy for me to find things that I enjoy, which means that there are always tons of things to keep me busy.  I own more books that I can read (in a lifetime if you count digital books).  I have more games than I have time to play.  I actually have quite a lot of time on my hands that I can fill with whatever I wish to do.

While I appreciate high quality things, I can also find joy in simple things.  I do art, and most of my supplies are things that we had on hand:  old school supplies, free magazines or catalogs, dollar store paint.  What makes art fun for me is the process more than anything, so simple supplies often work just fine for me.

I am blessed in that I have (mostly) good health.  I have a wonderful family that cares for me, so even when I am under the weather, I feel safe and secure and well taken care of.

I think that it is easy to put too much focus on stuff and money when we think about how blessed and abundant our lives are.  But money is nothing but little pieces of paper that we have said are 'worth' something.

When you think about the abundance in your life, don't think about the cash you have.  Think about the things in your life that bring you joy!  Think about the experiences you have, the friends that are part of your life, the things that make you smile.

If you don't feel like you have abundance in your life, look to see where you can bring in more joy!  Find things that make you feel happy, and work them into your life.  Try new things, to see what might work for you!  There are lots of ways to fill up your life, even if you don't have cash to spend.

There are a lot of workings out there for abundance, but most focus on monetary of physical things.  There is nothing wrong with working to earn more money or get that brand new outfit you want!  But I really feel that true abundance is the feelings behind all of that.  You want the money because it lets you feel free (to buy whatever you see that you like).  You want the outfit because it makes you feel good or powerful or pretty or whatever it makes you feel.

But when we start to look beyond the physical, we can uncover the roots of our abundance.  We can see what the physical things bring into our lives, and really embrace those underlying emotions.  This can be especially necessary if we find ourselves constantly chasing 'new' stuff for that initial rush of having something new...but then we need to get the next new thing as that rush starts to wear off.

It can also be easy to equate gifts with affection, and we definitely do use gifts (whether it is something we bought or something we made) to show how much we care about someone.  Whenever we look at something someone gave us, we are reminded about them and that they liked us enough to gift us.

When we find ourselves feeling that emptiness, that sense that our life is lacking, it can be helpful to take stock.  Look at the different areas of your life, and see what you have and what you feel you need.  But make sure you look below the surface, look beyond that basic things in your life to the energy that runs below it.  Think about the ways in which your life is rich, even if those ways aren't obvious.  And spend some time really letting all the blessings in your life, no matter how small they seem, sink in.  Wrap yourself up in them and keep reminders around you, of all the ways in which abundance touches you.

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