I think we all want to be special. When we are very young, we often have the experience of being praised for about everything we do. I was an only child, so I think I had more of this than children with siblings, but even with multiple children, there is often a lot of praise, every time we do something new.
Of course, as children, this encourages us to keep learning, to keep trying and to not give up when it gets hard. But I also think that sometimes we come to expect that praise, and we never develop the ability to be okay with not being in the spotlight.
There is a lot of talk about parenting and how we raise children. Many people take very strong stances on things like participation trophies. Personally, I'm not a fan. I think that there is something really special about celebrating success, and when we take that away from children, we aren't doing them justice at all.
Of course, there is a time and place for things like participation trophies. When you have a whole group who has really struggled to even participate, then a trophy (or certificate...I remember participation certificates) is appropriate. And there is lots of room for both "everybody win's" activities, where things like participation trophies are fun alongside more traditional competitions where we recognize hard work and excellence.
Life isn't fair. There will always be times in life where you won't get the same rewards as everybody else. There will be times in life where you may have done a better job, but still someone else gets the reward and recognition. There will be times where a completely arbitrary factor will determine who wins and who looses. I think it is a very important life skill to teach our children.
This is something that we can introduce in small pieces, so they naturally grow to understand it. When they are very little, and don't understand, we praise them for everything. But as they grow up, we start to focus our praise in the places where they really did shine. This often can encourage them to work harder!
But I see the 'special snowflake' syndrome a lot in adults too. There are so many ways in which we label ourselves, and there is this trend in Paganism to want to be evolved, or significant or special. And the work we do, in our spiritual life, can be hard and it can be deceptively unassuming. Sometimes the things that take the most work don't seem that hard or special from the outside. But we know, deep inside we know what we have worked on and what we have accomplished.
One of the first places I saw this issue cropping up was with Indigo children. When I first heard about Indigo children, it seemed like everyone either claimed to be one, or they claimed their kids were. Every couple of years, a new 'special' category comes up, and it feels like everyone comes pouring out of the woodwork, and they all are whatever the newest thing is.
But, I feel this sets a really bad precedent, because whenever you have a description of something, there are people that fit the description, and people who don't. And these 'special' designations always are portrayed as being better than other people in some way. Which means that if you don't fit, you are somehow less.
In the spiritual world, I have seen a ton of different ways of classifying just how spiritual you are. There are dozens of different categorizations for how evolved your higher self is, and some of them use completely random methods of determining who is and isn't in a particular category.
When you peek beneath the surface of a lot of these 'special' types of people, it's very much about proving how much better you are than other people, and most of the time it's not because you have done things to improve yourself, but just through some random feature or luck.
I refuse to believe that people who menstruate during the full moon each month are more spiritually evolved than other women (and by extension all men...who don't menstruate). Having longer hair doesn't make you more powerful spiritually or energetically (trust me....I've chopped my hair off many times, and have never crippled myself *snort). Being left handed doesn't make you more or less evolved. I have heard all of these things and more!
I also think that we have become so dependent on our words an labels to proclaim to the world how special we are, that we feel like we have to be all the special things. When I was first learning, it was a common statement that "all witches are Priest or Priestess," meaning that we each held our own spirituality in our own hands, we didn't need someone else to step in and talk to the Gods on our behalf. But there were also degrees of initiation, and each of these represented a body of work and skills that were developed.
But now, I hear people who have just started declare themselves, "High Moon-Mermaid Priestess, Chosen of Gaia," or some other kind of crazy title, with no actual meaning to it. And when you see one person state they are a Ocean Priestess, immediately like five others jump right in, "Oh, I like water too, I must be an Ocean Priestess as well!"
I'm not saying that specifications can't exist. I know that there are many temples, circles and other organizations as well as solitary paths that have levels, degrees and dedications, where you become focused in one area and thus earn a title related to it. But I think that so many people think that if they like a thing, they are somehow chosen by it. Sometimes, you just like a thing!
I'm not saying you shouldn't be special. By all means, celebrate the things you are well and truly good at! Wear the titles you have earned with pride, and don't be ashamed of claiming those skills you have worked hard to master. But on the flip side, let other people have their moment in the spotlight as well. We don't all need to be the center of attention at all times. Sometimes it is okay to just be okay at things.
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