Breaking ties with items

 A very common magical practice is to attune items so that they are connected to you.  We often do this when we first acquire something, going through a whole process of cleansing it (to remove any energy or connections that were already present) and then dedicating it to our practice (either in a broad way or towards a specific use we have in mind for it).

But much less talked about is the process of breaking our ties with an item.  This is something you may want to do when you are ready to let something go, whether you are passing it along to another person or throwing it away.  

Now there are many reasons why you may want to break ties with an item.  Firstly, it is an acknowledgement of your time together and the work you have done.  It's a formal way to recognize that your relationship is coming to an end.  Especially when the item was something beloved (and possibly broken or no longer working as intended in your practice...perhaps something you have outgrown), this can help you  move forward without being held back by what used to be.

Practically speaking, it also literally severs the energetic connections between you and the item.  Even if you never officially dedicated it to your practice, prolonged use can create energetic bonds, and these bonds are a way for energy to move between two things.  Most of the time these bonds are neutral, but even without being an active drain, they are still a portion of your energy that you don't have full access to.  Think of it like having one more thing in your drawer that you have to shift through and move when trying to find the thing you actually want...it's one more energy tie that you are maintaining (and doing nothing with).

And finally there is the more malicious reason:  our ties to items can be used against us.  This might not even be a deliberate thing.  If we gift an item to someone, and they have strong emotions about it (or us), we may find our energy being sucked into that emotional drain.  But also, if we have built a strong energy connection to an item, there is a bit of us in it, and therefor it can be used as a proxy for ourselves (if someone were magically inclined, it could be used as a focus for spellwork against you).

Now, I don't worry so much about the deliberate use against me, when I think about breaking ties with items it's more focused on maintaining my own energy and honoring the item for what it has done for me.  Breaking my ties with it lets me move onto new things cleanly.  It allows me to say goodbye and express my gratitude for all the things the item has done for me, and especially if I am struggling to actually let go of it (I am a bit of a hoarder, so this is a common struggle for me, even with stuff I don't actually use), it helps me to create a clear and solid boundary..the thing is no longer tied to me.

So how does one actually go about breaking your ties with an item?  It's basically like a combination of reverse consecration combined with a cleansing.  When you consecrate something, you are creating ties and recognizing how you will work with an item, so when you are ready to let it go, it helps to name those ties, and deliberately release them.  If you consecrated the item (or worked with it) with different elements or deities, then you will want to pull those things back.

It may be helpful to think of it sort of like taking down a circle.  When we cast a circle, we call in elements, deities and spirits that we will be working with.  We lay out boundaries and designated a purpose.  When we take the circle down, we release all the elements and beings we called in, we open the circle and we 'reset' the area to what it was before.

This is what we are doing when breaking ties.  We are pulling back our own energy (and any other energy we put into the item).  We are resetting it to factory settings.  We are making it a blank slate.  I like to include wording like, "My time working with you is over, and as we go our separate ways, we are each complete to ourselves, no longer connected and entwined." 

While breaking ties should be enough, it can also sometimes be helpful to cleanse afterwards, just like you would when you are bringing an item home (especially one that is a second-hand item).  I like to cleanse with the four elements, so I'll pass an item through (or near) a representation of each, and use wording along the lines of, "By air I cleanse you, blowing away all residual energy so each breath is new and fresh.  By fire I cleanse you, burning away all that clings and creating fertile ground for new growth.  By water I cleanse you, washing away all impurities and leaving you sparkling clean.  By earth I cleanse you, grounding out any energy or vibrations and transmuting all back to bare earth."

You can even create a symbol or item to help neutralize energy in an item, sort of like how we use charging sigils or plates.  It may be a symbol you draw on a piece of paper and wrap around anything you are getting rid of, or it may be a physical tray or box that you store things in for a time before you pass them along.

This method can also be used to break ties between yourself and bits of you (like hair and fingernails), if you are concerned about such things.  It is something that used to be mentioned, and as I said before, I don't really worry about other people gathering up my bits and using them for ill, but I do keep a running mental image that once bits are separated from my body, they are no longer 'me'...no longer connected to the part of me that is my Self.

It can even be used to help break ties with a person with whom you no longer wish to be connected to (whether it is a romantic breakup, the end of a friendship or breaking ties with a toxic family member).  Learning to manage your energetic connections helps you better control your own energy...what is coming in and what is going out.

And, you don't actually need the item in hand to break your ties with it.  Just as with any other magical working, you can use a representation to stand in for the item (or person) you want to break ties with.  This is particularly useful when you find yourself pining over a lost item or reminiscing about a thing you used to have (but can no longer find).  Breaking ties lets you start the process of moving on with your life.

Whatever your reasons for breaking ties with an item, knowing how to do it is a handy bit of work that can be quite cathartic. It can set you up for a new chapter in life, and lets you let go of things cleanly and manage any emotions that might come up.  It allows you to gift items to people in a 'like new state' so they aren't burdened by your experiences or energies.  All in all, properly breaking ties and cleansing an item is as important of a practice as dedicating items, but it is much less commonly practiced.