This is going to be a pretty rambling post, but the idea got stuck in
my head and won't let go, so where we go!
When I first discovered Witchcraft, it was in a library book from my
high school library. The book stated that you could find practicing
covens by looking in the newspaper. Needless to say, that really
didn't work, there were no ads in the papers for those interested in
learning more, and especially not for someone still underage. I
ended up finding a little occult store, and meeting people that way.
Later, I found some local type publications that were aimed at
metaphysical folks and those did have ads in them. I learned from
this to always be very wary when answering ads, and to listen to
those inner warning bells. Not everyone who places an add for new
members to their coven will mesh with you, even if their intentions
are good.
After I moved away from larger cities, I ended up taking my search
for others to an online forum. I found message boards (this was all
before Facebook), and made some good connections. I had made some
Pagan friends before, but due to moving was no longer in touch with
most of them. The great thing about the internet was that I could
not only meet people fairly easily, who shared interests with me, but
I could interact with them, regardless of where they lived.
It really did open up a whole new world for me, quite literally. I
found that people in different areas of the world had vastly
different experiences with their practices. What might be very
common here, was not so common elsewhere, and what may be everyday
for someone else was novel to me. It really broadened my
perspective, and gave me a huge appreciation for how other people do
things.
And then along came Facebook. I resisted social networks for a long
time, I was quite happy with forums. And still, in some ways, I
prefer forums. I think that Facebook is not as user-friendly as it
would like you to think it is. I am constantly trying to tailor my
newsfeed to show me the stuff I actually want to see, without cutting
friends out of my life who want to play a lot of facebook games (and
send me virtual sheep and what not).
I friend a lot of people. I have done the facebook game thing, and
though I don't anymore, I have people on my friends list who are
neighbors of my virtual farm. I also play other computer games, and
one ran a facebook game a couple years back, so I have over a hundred
friends that were added as part of that. I also have joined several
wonderful facebook groups, Pagan and other, which has added to my
friends list. And I actually have people I know in person who are
facebook friends. In the end, this leaves me with several hundred
friends, most of whom I know very little about and interact with
hardly at all.
Which makes an interesting point. Facebook is supposed to be all
about networking with your friends, and yet we end up with all these
people on our friends list who are virtual strangers. True friends
take work, enjoyable though that work may be. Being someones friend
isn't about liking their posts or sharing cute kitty pictures on
their wall.
Being a friend is truly caring about someone. Thinking about them at
random times and wondering what they are up to. Worrying about them
when they are sick. Wanting to celebrate their victories with them,
and giving them a shoulder to cry on when they need to mourn their
losses. Not only chatting with them but listening as well. I think
it is very possible to make solid friends online, and to maintain
those friendships through sites like Facebook, but you have to put
forth the effort.
And when it comes to groups, even on Facebook, those take work too.
There will often be some kind of drama that will pop up, and if you
don't deal with virtual drama quickly, it escalates ridiculously.
Also, there are so many groups and other things going on in Facebook
already that if you don't work on keeping your group going, it will
fade away.
What I think Facebook is really invaluable for is providing a support
system for those of us who are solitary for whatever reason. Perhaps
you don't know anyone near you who is Pagan, or you don't really want
to join a formal group. You can still make and have great friends
online, and gain that sense of community in your life. I know there
are a lot of times in my past where I wish there had been something
like Facebook, where I could log on and talk to people who understood
where I was in my life.
A final thought, that really applies to any online interaction.
People in general tend to behave atrociously online. There are a lot
of people who really take advantage of the fact that it is not a
face-to-face interaction, and say things they would never dare to say
to someone else's face. Treat your online interactions as if the
person you are typing to is right in front of you. If you wouldn't
say it to their face, you probably don't want to say it. And if
someone else is being really obnoxious, just walk away. Someone who
is trying to stir up trouble can't be reasoned with anyways, all you
will do is frustrate yourself.
People also tend to forget how very public the internet is. Things
that you may have thought were private could very well be shared with
people you never intended to see. Always keep this in mind, if you
really want to keep something private, think twice before posting it
on any type of social media, even in a personal message or private
group.
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