Today is my Birthiversary (Birthday and Anniversary)! So I thought it would be a good time to talk about celebrating dates and events that are personal. I remember the first time I read through the Satanic Bible I thought that the point about celebrating your birthday as a holy day was really poignant. The main idea is that we celebrate so many other things in our lives (and so many other people's birthdays), but if we are truly to honor and celebrate our Self and our life...shouldn't we celebrate the day we entered into this world?
There is a growing trend to celebrate birth-weeks and birth-months, and I think this is a really great trend. So often in life, we are taught to put ourselves last, to not make a big deal...but we are a big deal! We should take the time to focus on ourselves, and sometimes a day just isn't enough.
Birthdays are somewhat tricky for a lot of people. Some may have had bad experiences as a child (or not much experience, if your family didn't make a big fuss about your birthday). It can be a hard transition from having a big party when you are young to adult life, when you may not have anything special on your birthday (and there is a good chance you will have to work sometimes...) We may feel like it is inappropriate to throw our own birthday celebration or to dare to suggest that our birth week/month be honored.
I've always been kind of fudgy about dates. I am more focused on the essence of a celebration than the specific details. For me, celebrating and honoring my birth on the actual day (or time...for me it would be just past 1am) isn't that important. I would rather celebrate when the timing is right for whatever celebration is planned than try to cram it in to the right date (or not bother celebrating at all) In some ways, this often leads to birth-week (or month!) celebrations, especially if I end up celebrating with multiple groups of people...which is always fun!
I also think that sometimes we feel like we may not deserve a big fuss on our birthday, or gifts or being taken to dinner or whatever else people may do for us. Birthdays are a great time to practice receiving gratefully. I am always reminded of the stereotypical 'spoiled' child on tv who complains the whole birthday that things aren't perfect, or they didn't get enough presents, or that the presents they got weren't expensive enough, or they didn't get that one (often crazy) thing that they asked for. I don't think gifts are about that. For me, gifts are an expression of the relationship between people. When someone gives me a gift, it is an insight into what I mean to them, which makes it special and wonderful even if the gift itself isn't something I would have desired otherwise. I have actually found that sometimes it surprises me and things that I have received and not immediately been drawn to, ended up being more likeable after I had used them several times....opening me up to new possibilities. Even if I never warm up to a gift, the fact that it was a gift still makes it special to me.
One thing I like about birthdays is that it is socially acceptable to really do your own thing on your birthday. We are given a license to use "It's my birthday" as a reason for almost anything. Want to eat cake and drink wine even though it's not on your diet? That's fine, because it's your birthday! Want to pick that movie that you are the only one in your house that actually wants to see it...well it's your birthday (the others might not watch it with you..but you can watch it)! Don't feel like cleaning house...don't have to, it's your birthday! For many people, this is the one day where they feel free enough to act on some of their inner desires. It's like a training wheel day for living your own inner dreams.
I also think that we shouldn't feel compelled to do things just because it's your birthday. If you are a quiet person who doesn't like huge gatherings, it's okay to tell your friends not to throw you a big, crazy party. If you really want to have a quiet night in and wear your jammies and binge watch your favorite show, it's okay to say you don't want to go out for dinner and dancing. If you don't want the people at the restaurant to sing to you....tell them not to! Your birthday is literally YOUR day, so claim it, make it your own!
There are also other personal celebrations that we honor throughout our lives. As I said earlier, it's also my anniversary today (yep, same day for both!). I think that anniversaries are something that often get taken for granted unless it's one of those 'big' years (10, 50, 100...) but really, every anniversary is special. This is the person you have chosen to build your life with, and it's one more year that you have shared together. Anniversaries are times to celebrate your relationship, in ways that are meaningful to you. No one's relationship is just like yours, and so why should you celebrate like other people?
Hubby and I are both gamers, so the things we like to do together often involve games. I know that some people don't understand this, but for us, playing a game together is more enjoyable than going out on a traditional date would be. Of course, we are both big foodies too, so dinner dates are always good. And we both like to cook, so that dinner date might be us making and then enjoying a meal together. He knows that I'm not a 'flowers and candy' kind of girl, and buys gifts accordingly. This year, I got a new tattoo, which I am quite pleased with!
The great thing about personal celebrations is that they are exactly that: personal. Only you can determine what is important for you to celebrate. Many people like to honor their pets just like they would family members, so you might have a birthday party or memorial day of observance for them. You might be a huge sports fan, and want to celebrate a big win with an equally big party! Or perhaps, there was a day in your past, where something happened that was utterly life changing. This date becomes a holy day for you, a day in which you honor the experience that happened (whether it was a good or bad experience) in a way that helps you honor the part of you that was changed that day.
Your personal celebrations can be things that you share with the world, or private celebrations that you keep to yourself. You can invite specific people to share your celebrations with you, in whatever way feels right to you. They can be as simple or elaborate as you need them to be. Just because you celebrate alone, with an easy, short action or acknowledgement, doesn't make the celebration any less worthy or important than if you invited everyone you knew and had a week long ritual planned to the last detail.
So celebrate your birthday! And celebrate events that are significant to you! Think about what things are important in your life, and how you might like to honor those. Life is a wondrous thing, and when we celebrate, we are acknowledging the joys and sorrows we have been through. We are recognizing our strengths and the things that make us who we are. When we celebrate the things that matter to us, we are celebrating our Selves. And we are all worthy of being celebrated!
No comments:
Post a Comment