As time passes, more and more people are passing their birthday, in a time where we can't gather. I had mine a few days ago, and while we don't normally do anything big, my friends always do something special for my birthday, and I definitely missed that.
But I think there is this trend of making birthdays about other people celebrating us...which is awesome! Everyone deserves a day where they are the center of attention, where they get waited on and tended to and are made to feel special and amazing.
Where I think we tend to fall a little flat is that we rely on other people to give us these feelings, and we don't do special things for ourselves. We wait for others to buy us presents, we hope that they will do things to pamper us, we are excited about treats that we will be offered.
There is a stigma on doing nice things for yourself, and this is especially true on one's birthday....and it makes my heart sad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself, especially on your birthday!
Birthday's aren't just about making it through another year, they are a recognition of our life, of all the pain and joy we have experienced. They are a marker of who we are, and how we are growing and changing. Think back to when you were little, and every year you would hear about how big you are growing or how much more mature you look. People would talk about all the fantastic things you can do now, or the amazing stuff you learned that past year.
We need to bring that back! Make birthdays a true celebration of all that has gone on in this year of your life...and all the years previous (because they all work together to make you who you are). And the person who should be most excited, most proud, most wanting to shower you in gifts and special moments...is you.
Take this day to be self-centered (as in centered on your Self). Take some time to reflect on just how far you have come, and anything you have accomplished during the year. Sometimes these things are tricky and hide, and look like disasters, but when you peek beneath the surface you realize that the hard times are where you showed your strength. You made it through, and just by surviving those hard times, you are amazing!
One great thing to do, for your birthday is a tarot spread. There are many online you can find that provide a combination of looking back and celebrating as well as a glimpse forward into the future of what the coming year will bring. Taking time to stop, reflect and honor what your year has held is a powerful way to acknowledge yourself and all you bring into the world.
The past few years, I have also become a believer in buying myself a present. There is something subtly different in the mentality from just picking up something 'because I want it' and designating something a present. By naming it a present, you are imbuing it with energy, specifically you are saying that you are worth it. It is a simple (and fun!) way to remind yourself that you are worthy...just by existing.
Gifting yourself should follow the rules you use for gifting other people. Buy something you truly want, not something that you 'need'. This is not the time to replace your ratty towels or get new work shoes (unless those things really make you happy, then definitely indulge!). It is the perfect time to declare to yourself that the thing you've had your eye on, your 'guilty pleasure' item is perfectly legitimate and there is no reason to hope someone else will get it for you when you can just get it for yourself!
We often feel like we shouldn't like certain things. Some things are considered 'less than' other things. If you are an adult, and you like teen novels or trashy romances, those are often viewed as less worthy than deep, intellectual works or 'classics'. If you like anything that might be considered a 'toy', whether it is a collectable figure, a video game, a stuffed animal...these are seen as childish.
But here's the thing....the stuff that really lights you up is ABSOLUTELY worth it! If a little squishy, bright pink pig just makes your day, why wouldn't you want it in your life! We never know what the future might bring, and life is too short to not allow yourself the things that make you happy. So find something that you want, something that you know will make your days better, and plan on gifting it to yourself. (Yes, plan, sometimes you may need to save up to get that thing you really like...that's perfectly fine!)
And while we're speaking of stuff that brings you joy, just keep repeating, "It's my day!" If you have a food you love....eat it! Maybe it's something you really like and no one else in your family cares for it...get it anyways (bonus, if you are the only one who likes it, then you get it all to yourself). Let yourself have one day where you aren't constantly thinking about what other people want or like, and enjoy the things you love.
I started this post talking about celebrating alone, because many people can't gather with their extended family and friends right now. But whether or not you normally celebrate with other people, these are things that I strongly feel everyone should do...and do proudly.
It always makes me sad when I see someone post about how they took themselves out to dinner on their birthday and got cake but ate it alone. Or that they went to see a movie they were super excited about, but no one wanted to see it with them so they had to go by themselves. Or they 'just spent a quiet night at home reading.' on their birthday. And it doesn't make me sad because they were alone...it makes me sad because society tells us that these things are undesirable. We are taught that if other people aren't seeing and reacting to what you are doing, it's not 'real'.
And I think that's just a really harmful way of looking at things! Whether you are 'stuck' doing things alone now, or choosing to do things alone later (when you are also able to celebrate with others), I feel it is important to honor ourselves...by ourselves. Our worth isn't determined by other people, and by only honoring our self-worth through the eyes of others, we are telling our Self that what we think and feel is somehow less.
So find ways to celebrate your birthday alone! Figure out what those deep desires of your heart are, and find ways to bring them to life. Buy yourself a gift, and treat yourself to luxuries that you normally forgo. Take some time to reflect on the awesomeness that is You. And know you are absolutely, totally, and forever worth it!
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