Anytime you start something new, it can feel intimidating. You have this idea about what a practice should be, and you look at the people who are at the top of their game, the experts, the public figures. You see these beautiful pictures of elaborate setups and fancy tools, you read descriptions of complex rituals, daily rituals and the cycle of the year, and it feels like you don't even know where to start.
I recently read something that talked about how most of us aren't extraordinary, and yet we hold ourselves up to that standard. We look at experts and professionals, and those are the people we compare ourselves to...and this is a really bad practice! Most of us don't have the luxury of our spiritual practice being our livelihood. And especially when you are starting out, you don't have those years of experience under your belt.
There is also this fear of doing things wrong, of making mistakes...of failing. And often with both magic and spirituality, there is a deeper fear of a serious consequence that will come from a minor mistake. We read these horror stories about someone who messed up the wording in a money spell and a beloved relative died and left them money (which really is a horrible story to tell beginner witches...I really dislike fear-based prohibitions).
Media doesn't help either. We watch movies about magic where 'the dark side' is always tempting magic users, trying to get them to do bad things. Or where someone makes an innocent mistake (like forgetting to leave an offering to a deity), and now they have a vengeful God out to get them. And while most of us know that movies and such are fiction, that idea still lives in our head, that we might anger one of the beings we work with if we mess up, and we worry if we would be forgiven.
It has actually been my experience that walking a spiritual (and magical!) path is very forgiving. Sure, there are mistakes you can make, and there are consequences for those mistakes...but typically speaking, the results of your actions are in line with what you actually did. I don't feel like we need to fear catastrophic backlash from what I would call 'learning mistakes'.
When you learn, you make mistakes, that's just part of it. If we didn't make mistakes, we wouldn't need to learn....and often it is our mistakes that teach us. It is through trying something, noticing how it didn't work and what the consequences are, that we figure out what works and what doesn't.
We also seem to have this idea that if we can't do something fully and completely, we shouldn't do it. We are prone to wanting to wait until we 'know everything' to start working. And while some people are great at book learning and doing the mental work first, others learn through experience, and trying to memorize the meanings of every card in a tarot deck before they ever actually work with their cards is an exercise in frustration.
I think that every practice we want to build can be learned from the ground up. It can be broken into very simple and small steps, and sometimes that is all you can manage...and that's okay! I love the idea of accessible practice, that you can do what feels right to you.
Since I was talking about tarot (and this applies to pretty much any divinatory practice), lets think about learning tarot for a minute. There is this image of a professional tarot reader, who pulls a deck out of a wooden box, where it is kept wrapped in silk. They shuffle perfectly, and lay the cards out, murmuring appropriately at different cards. Then they weave together all the cards in the layout, uncovering these mystical 'truths' about the client, who is amazed at how perfectly the reading matches their situation, and all the hidden details it reveals, things they never told the reader!
And this is the image in our head, when we think about reading tarot. We may feel unworthy at working with our cards until we know all the meanings for every card (and let me just say that you can't know 'all' the meanings). We may feel frustrated that we don't see anything when we look at a card.
We may not always feel like we have the time or energy to do a full, big reading...and that's just fine! You can pull a single card, and start seeing what pops out at you. And sometimes nothing will, or the thing that comes through might not make any sense (this is often where making notes of your readings helps...but if that's not your thing, that's fine too...I don't keep records of most of the readings I do).
Even more than that, you should feel comfortable just handling your deck. Maybe you don't feel up to interpreting the cards, you just want to spend some time enjoying the pictures. I love looking at the art of my decks. The more time you spend with your cards, the more familiar they will become to you. You will notice more...because you have taken the time to really look. And sometimes, you may just want that physical connection. Maybe you want to shuffle your deck, or just have it near you.
These same micro-actions can be used to get more familiar with other parts of our practice. Whatever it is you want to do....start doing it! If you want to honor the Sabbats, there are a ton of ways to do that, not all of them requiring any type of circle or ritual at all. You might see pictures of people online who are dedicating a whole day to celebrating the Sabbat, who have a big community group who gather together and make larger than life effigies or other ritual observances, and you flounder trying to figure out what you can do.
Things can be scaled back. If you don't have a group (or room) for a 50 foot Maypole, you can make a smaller one with a stick and some ribbons. If you don't have time to cook a themed feast, maybe you can find one food that reminds you of the season. You might watch a seasonal movie or find some great pictures to look at.
The thing about practice is that it starts really small. I love the analogy of body building as practice. We look at some of the world class body builders, and they can lift crazy amounts of weight. It seems super human, and yet at one point, they were all just like everyone else. They didn't just start tying to lift their max weight, they started where we all do...trying to lift something slightly heavier than what was easy. And it doesn't matter how much you can lift when you start, or how long it takes you to graduate to the next level of 'heavy' along the way. If you keep practicing, you will get better.
That is how I view spiritual practice. And sometimes it feels like you aren't making any progress....because while you are in the middle of it, slow progress feels like nothing. But just keeping at your practice is progress! Doing little things becomes habit, and over time you look back and realize that the initial action, maybe it was just putting on a meaningful piece of jewelry every day, has led to a morning prayer, a shielding practice, a gratitude practice or any number of other things.
It doesn't matter how tiny the action is, or how removed it may seem from your 'goal' practice. If it brings you joy or makes you feel a bit more in tune...do it! Let your path be paved with a million tiny actions, because they all add up. And by continuing to come back to these small actions, you will find that the larger ones become that much easier.
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