If there is one thing in life that is constant...it is change. All things change, and change is inevitable. There is no way to stop things from changing, and the sooner we get that, the better. Change can also be really hard for us to accept, and we may find ourselves fighting tooth and nail to avoid change. We might deny it, clinging to a past that doesn't exist anymore, or we may try to ignore it keeping our focus somewhere else, but nothing we can do will stop the change from happening.
Some change is great! When we are in a low place, or perhaps not the best of situations, we welcome change. We seek it out and try to call it to us. Sometimes we are so eager to leave where we are at that we don't really think about what kind of change we are embracing and we rush blinding into a worse situation simply because it's different.
But sometimes, things are good, and we fear change. We want those happy moments to last forever, and we know that the higher we get, the more likely it is that change will take us down a notch. We worry that what we have built will all come crumbling down and we'll be left with less than what we started with.
Sometimes, change is lateral, meaning it is movement but it's really not up nor is it down. Things shift, but we remain in relatively the same place that we were before. We may get a new job, but it makes about the same and our interest level in it is similar, so yes, there was change, but then again not much really changed.
The thing with change is that we have to be willing to accept it. To embrace the change, whatever it is, and learn to roll with it. Because the thing is that resisting change just makes it harder for us to find whatever good might have come from the change. We are so busy trying to keep things the same we may miss opportunities or overlook the blessings that happened in the midst of all the chaos.
If, on the other hand, we focus on the journey, we can learn to open our arms to the wild ride of change and be excited to see what it will bring us to. We will be ready to pounce on the things that are whizzing by us, instead of trying to grasp what is being pulled away.
Even with the worst changes, there are bright spots. When you think your world is ending, instead of looking at what you are loosing and being sad, focus on the happy memories. Tuck the good times away in your heart and mind, so that you can look back whenever you need a boost. Those bright bits can make the transitions of change a bit easier, because you aren't focusing on the loss and chaos, but on the things that you cherish.
It can be really helpful to formally acknowledge the change. This is why we, as humans, have so many celebrations and graduations. We ritualize our transitions, so we can honor both where we came from and where we are going. And you can create your own rituals to help you through any changes that you are struggling with.
Start by looking at what was. The more honest you can be, about both what you love and will miss, and about what wasn't so great and that you will be happy to let go of, the more smooth the change will be...even if what was is mostly on the good side. Simply by naming the great things, we firm up their presence in our lives, and we reinforce the desire to have similar good things come back to us. By naming the less than great things, we pinpoint what we don't want.
Next, go through your list of things and think about how the change might effect them. For the good things, think about ways in which they might become even better. Loosing something wonderful doesn't mean it is devalued to us, and finding a 'new' thing (that might be more wonderful) doesn't make our past joys any less. In fact, it is often those previous happy moments that let us really appreciate the new ones!
For the less than good things, think about how the change could open the way for something better. Use the upcoming change to focus your energies on growing and expanding. The point here is to replace each negative with something better. And sometimes, if you have been down for a long time, thinking big isn't in your vocabulary, and that is okay. Remember, better is relative, so maybe the new job isn't your dream job, and it's still not in a field you particularly enjoy, but it's got better pay or it's got better hours....or maybe even it's just different (new bad is still more interesting than the same old bad you've always had).
Working through an upcoming change can helps us prepare mentally for the chaos that change brings. It is a way for us to get accustomed to what may be, and to say goodbye to what was. If you work through the change in a journal, or by creating something to honor the change, then you will always have that journal or creation, alongside your memories, to look back on, when you are feeling nostalgic (or when you want to remind yourself how far you've come).
Change can't be avoided, but with a little work, we can mitigate it's chaotic effect on our lives. We can tune down the negatives and play up the positives and we might just find that instead of dreading upcoming changes, we begin to look forward to seeing what newness they can bring into our lives!
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