Ancestor work is something that is becoming more common, in witchcraft and Paganism. While it has always been a part of some people's practices, other people are just coming to it. A very common way to work with one's ancestors is to create an ancestor altar, and to keep that altar space and leave offerings, much like one might do to maintain a grave site (of course actual grave site work is an option, if you are lucky enough to live near family graves).
But another way that may feel very familiar to some of us is to build a connection through writing letters. As a child, I was required to write letters to my relatives. Anytime I received a gift, I had to write a thank you letter, and it couldn't just say thank you, I had to talk about what was going on in my life and ask about what was going on in theirs. Of course I did have to thank them as well.
As a military family, we moved regularly, and so I also remember writing letters to friends. I think my generation was the last to really write letters regularly, and I definitely wrote letters to friends during the summer, when we would visit family on vacation.
In high school, I not only wrote letters to boyfriends when one of us took a trip, but we would often keep journals, sort of collected letters, where we would write to each other, and then when we were back together in person, we'd exchange journals and have basically a bunch of letters to read all at once.
Writing letters isn't a new thing, in magical practice. It's often used in message spells (where you write a letter to someone and then burn it), or banishing spells (same process, different intended outcome!). But we can also use the letter writing process as a way to build a connection to our ancestors.
Letters give us a structure to work with, when we are opening up lines of communication. And because our ancestors are no longer with us, it gives more freedom in how they respond. We can write our letter, and then just like when we mail a letter, we have to wait for them to receive it and get back with us. Using letters like this, you will want to stay open and aware of possible replies, which may come to you in the form of dreams or omens, or you may want to wait until you feel like they are ready to respond and then sit and freewrite their response.
Just like most practices, ancestor work isn't all about just asking for stuff, it's about building up that relationship. You can start small, in kind of a 'get to know you' sense. It may help to write to ancestors that you knew, maybe you have a grandparent or other relative that has passed over that you can write to. Start by filling them in on what's been going on in your life, and then maybe ask how things are for them.
For someone you have never met, it might be helpful to think of it like writing a new pen-pal (or meeting someone new online). You can tell them a little about yourself, and then ask them about their life, about what they like and don't like, or things they enjoyed doing. Actually, those are great questions for people we knew in life as well, as we often don't know as much about our relatives as we think we do (especially if they passed when you were little, as a child you probably didn't think much about what the adults in your life enjoyed).
With a practice like this, I would highly recommend ritualizing the writing process. Get a notebook dedicated to writing your ancestors (it doesn't have to be fancy, but I would definitely keep it for this practice alone), or make a box to hold your letters in. You may want to buy nice stationary or keep a special pen for this. I also recommend hand writing them, no matter how messy your handwriting is (the lovely thing about writing to ancestors is your writing doesn't have to be legible!), although you could write digitally, I just don't feel like it lends as much weight to the practice. Because we don't write by hand as often, choosing to do it for this practice makes it all the more special.
And just like keeping up with a pen-pal, you will get better results from this practice if you can keep it regular. Setting aside a particular day to write to your ancestors can be helpful, though of course you can always write extra letters if something significant comes up. If life should keep you from writing for a while, acknowledge that in your next letter. Remember a heart-felt apology goes a long way!
You also don't have to write to your ancestors individually. I would often write to my grandparents in one letter, and with ancestors you can take a similar approach, and you can even take it to a much broader range. You might write to all your ancestors on your father's side, or all your female ancestors. You might write to all your ancestors from one of the countries you have roots in, or to your ancestors from a particular time period. If you want to start really broad, you can simply write to all those who have come before you, all your ancestors together.
Forging a connection with our ancestors can feel like connecting to family roots that we were not blessed to have met. It can be rekindling a relationship that we had lost and keeping in contact with a beloved family member who we have lost. It can help us explore our heritage and consider how different our lives are today than the lives our ancestors lived. It can create a sense of home and belonging, no matter where we are and who is around us.
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