Visiting death

 One of the themes of this time of year is the journey to the underworld.  And while this is a very thematic time to work with this practice, it is also something we can do at any time throughout the year.  This sort of visit with death can serve multiple purposes, whether we want to seek out someone who has crossed over or just to face some of our own fears and issues with death.  It can be a moving, if somewhat scary, experience, and many people are intimidated by what they might find on the other side.

But that's kind of the whole point.  You can face those fears in small doses, taking little trips and short visits with death, taking on only as much as you can handle in the moment.  Each time you visit, you may see a bit more, or experience something new, and over time you will realize that your relationship with death itself has changed.

We live in a society that teaches us to fear death and all that is associated with it.  We don't talk about death, dying or the dead, and it is such a taboo topic that we often shy away from even thinking about it.  But death is a part of life, and we will be faced with it, in various ways, throughout our lives.  Having a good relationship with death will help you retain your footing when are faced with it, whether it is your own mortality you are seeing or the death of someone you care about.

The current global situation has shown a lot about how divided we are on our thoughts on death.  Some people are doing their best to completely avoid all thoughts of it, firmly retreating to the 'it won't happen to me' camp, while others are struggling to recover after having someone near to them battle death (whether they survived or didn't, the fight is always traumatic).

One of the sort of strange things about the way we approach death as a society is that we spend so much time and energy avoiding all talk of it that people get very uncomfortable when any reference to death comes up.  Even something as simple as how meat makes it to the grocery store can create an emotional reaction in people, which is often why they want their food to be unrecognizable in it's original form (they are okay eating fish or chicken, but only if it doesn't look like a fish or a chicken).  It's why some foods are named the way they are (like veal and lamb).

When it comes to people, we try to separate ourselves from the dead as much as possible.  We are supremely uncomfortable around the dead, and we often flounder when someone we know crosses that boundary from alive to dead.  

This is all further complicated by the fact that we can't say, with any certainty, what happens after death.  Every religion has their own explanation of the afterlife, whether it is an actual afterlife or more of a return to the source.  Even atheists often have very firm ideas of what happens to you after you die.  But knowing what you believe and having experience with those beliefs are two separate things.

There are many different levels of experiences we can have, when visiting death.  We may find we are more comfortable with some methods of visiting than others, and we may find we want to linger during some visits but not others.  It's always a good idea to start small and trust your instincts.

Now, it is my personal belief that the lands of death are for the dead and as a living person there isn't really any risk of me getting stuck or trapped when visiting, but it may still be useful to have some kind of tether, much like one might have when taking an astral journey, to help you return to your body whenever you feel the desire to do so.  I really find physical touchstones to be very useful, and in this case, I would probably think of the tether more as a gateway, as an object to help me travel to where I wanted to go (and get back again).

This object can be anything, it could be a rock with a symbol or picture related to death on one side and life on the other.  It might be a key with charms dangling off of it.  I could be a coin (like the one used to pay the ferryman).  Pick an object that you associate with death or with passing over, and dedicate it to your practice of visiting death.  You may find it useful to build a ritual for using your object, both at the start and end of each visit, much like you would cast a circle and then take the circle down (and you can absolutely also cast a circle for your visits!).

If you feel more comfortable with a partner to help keep you tethered, that is also an option.  This would be like having someone present for a guided meditation, and in fact you could use that method to facilitate your visits, either giving the other person a script to read (with pauses at appropriate places), or just loose instructions that they can improvise around (if they are comfortable doing so).

You can also use a more mundane and technological method to trigger the end of a visit.  If you want to set up some kind of timer or alarm, and make that your reminder to return.  This is a pretty common tool for longer meditations, and it can help you sink deeper into the work, because you know that you will be called out when your designated time has passed (and your brain won't constantly be trying to figure out how much time has passed).

So, what do you actually do during these visits?  Well, that is sort of up to you, and what you feel you need to explore.  It can be helpful to take some time before you visit, to consider what you might want to do during a visit.  You may want to use your favored divination tool to ask for suggestions, or journal out some questions you have and how you might look into answering them.

You can also think about people and places (or events) that could help you explore different aspects of death.  By visiting people, you can ask them about their deaths, or how they feel, looking back at their lives.  Some places can hold a lot of death in them, especially places like battlefields or hospitals, places where lots of people have died.  Visiting different places that have a strong connection to death can show you the similarities that exist between people who die in a specific place.  Tragic events can also show you how different people approach death in different ways.

Since this time of year is believed by many to be a time of weaker veil, where the lands of death and the dead are closer to this world than they are at other times, it can be an ideal time to start your visits.  You may find it easier now, though you may also find that you have your own times that suit your visits.  Keeping a log of when you visit can help you fine tune when it is best/easiest for you.

Just because something scares us, doesn't mean we can't explore it in a safe and healthy way.  Visiting with death can help us work out what we are most nervous or scared about, and how we can work through those issues.  We may never be okay with the idea of our own death (it's only natural to not want to die after all), but we may find it peaceful to get to a level of acceptance where we are no longer totally freaked out by any mention or reference to death.