I've talked about alone time before, but today I want to talk a bit about doing stuff on your own. Being an introvert, I am no stranger to going out into the world and having experiences...by myself. Sometimes I need that quiet time at home, but other times it is good to go out and do things. We talk about the necessity of alone time, but sometimes that doesn't mean alone in the strict sense of the word, but rather not being with friends, family or acquaintances.
Being an only child, I was pretty used to doing things alone. And as I grew up, and was able to go more and more places unaccompanied, that didn't change much! It wasn't uncommon for me to wander off, in public, and yet still be 'alone' (because honestly, strangers sharing the same space still kinda counts as being alone!).
There are a lot of activities we consider to be 'social' ones, where many people feel quite uncomfortable (at least at first!) doing them alone. Things like going to a sit down restaurant, to see a movie, or to attend an event. We have been trained to think of these things as group activities, and we may feel awkward attending on our own.
Sometimes this is because we worry about what other people might say about us, specifically that we might be considered strange or unlikable, simply because we don't have company with us. And yet, people who learn to be comfortable doing things like this on their own often make great friends...because they are whole within themselves.
I also find it fascinating that, if you are an introvert like me, you may find it easier to be truly alone at home, while an extrovert may find being 'alone' in public easier. No matter which way feels more natural to you, that can be the first step leading you to enjoying time by yourself in more challenging circumstances.
But spending time alone changes the experience! When we don't have other people around, we are more true to ourselves. With others, no matter how close we are, we are always modifying our behavior slightly. In some ways, we reflect those around us, and in other ways we simply show different sides of ourselves.
When we first start spending time alone, we may feel echos of the other people in our lives. We may still act as if they were around, and it takes time to really relax and be comfortable being 'just you'. But once you reach that level of comfort, it allows you to experience things in a much more personal level, because it quite literally is all about you!
The other great thing about spending time in public alone is that you can do things at your own pace and in your own way. With others, there is always some level of compromise. We each like things to a different degree, and so we naturally give and take where we need to. With no one else around, you can do things exactly as you like them!
I think taking a trip, whether is it something local but a bit out of your regular romps, or a proper vacation to another place entirely, on your own is a remarkable thing. Especially if you are able to take a good chunk of time (anywhere from a few hours to days or even weeks!), the experience will teach you things about yourself that you really can't learn with others!
I think we should all have the opportunity to know what we are capable of...alone. In our normal lives, we may have become used to other people doing certain things for us. While we may know that we could do those things on our own, we might not be aware of our own strengths in those areas. I know that I can handle a lot, on my own, but when with others I often prefer not to do certain things.
And pushing myself to be on my own and to do the things that I'm uncomfortable with, reminds me of just how capable I am. It helps me to develop in areas that I normally shy away from, and by working on these things alone, I am less self-conscious about any mishaps that might occur. It often feels safer to try by myself than with other people watching.
But those experiences carry back to my everyday life! When I am faced with things that make me uncomfortable, I can draw upon those memories of doing them on my own, and it makes it a bit easier. I can make my mistakes in solitude and that makes it easier for me to move past them and find growth.
I also feel like those moments when we experience something amazing on our own are their own kind of secret. We have so many memories that revolve around the people in our lives, that curating memories that only involve us becomes something truly magical.
So whether you are naturally comfortable on your own or if you need to ease into it, making time to not only be alone in your own space, but also out in the world, is truly valuable. It helps you become a more complete individual, helps you develop your strengths and navigate your weaknesses. And it creates memories that are unique to you!
No comments:
Post a Comment