Today is my birthday, and the first thing we often think about, when we consider birthdays is that it's someone's "Special Day." It's all about me, right? And while I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking time to focus on yourself (and a birthday is the perfect time to have a ME day), I also think that it can be very valuable to spend some time reflecting on all the people (and things and situations...just stuff in general) that make ME who I am.
Because we don't live in a vacuum and I absolutely wouldn't be who I am today without the influence of lot of people, without the formative experiences of my life and the life journey I've been through. In fact, I personally feel like my birthday celebrations are all about the people in my life...the very people who are wishing me Happy Birthday, the ones who give me gifts or take time out of their day to think of me on mine. And actually, in other countries, the tradition is almost flipped, where the person who's birthday it is bakes treats or gives gifts or hosts a party for their family and friends!
Now, I'm not saying that anyone needs to change their birthday traditions, but taking the time to really appreciate, not just the gifts that you receive but the people who give them to you, can help you enjoy your special day even more..because the gifts are something you only get one day a year, while your friends and family are there every day.
It can be a nice tradition to spend some time on (or around) your birthday to reflect on not only the past year, but also your life to date. Perhaps, you want to start a birthday book, where each year you write a little bit about how the year felt to you, how you feel about being that one year older, what important things happened that year. You could also spend some time writing out your thoughts on your life in general, whether you want to delve into events from your childhood, remember friends you have lost contact with (but who were your world at some point in your life), people who have passed on but who impacted you greatly. This can become something you return to, year after year, and can be fun to read what you have written over the years.
You may want to add in some elements of scrapbooking, tucking in birthday cards, pictures of any celebrations you had, bits of wrapping paper and even a list of presents you received. You could record any lovely birthday messages, doodle pictures of cake or candles (or whatever reminds you of birthdays and parties). And, of course, if you prefer digital methods, you could take pictures and upload all of that into whatever digital format suits you best!
A kind of fun way to practice birthday gratitude is to write a list of things you are grateful for....one for every year you have been alive. I think making lists likes this pushes us to actively look for things to be grateful of (especially if you are like me and pushing towards a half a century of life!), and it can feel challenging at first. But that's the beauty of practices like this, is that they force you to be specific and to really search for things that make your life better.
A twist on this would be to make a time line of the key events in your life...all those times that shaped you into who you are. You don't even have to worry about dates, just think about the events that you remember that are important to you. It's also important to note here that these might be good...or they might be bad. Traumas definitely change us, and so we may have been through stuff that makes us who we are, that wasn't so fun. So when making a timeline like this, while it is good to put those traumatic experiences in, it is also important to try to find any kind of silver lining (aka: seek out any good that came from the situation, even if all you can think of is that you aren't in it anymore).
You could also do a kind of "People who matter to me" tree (think family tree...but all people). Start by drawing yourself, and then connect yourself to the people who you consider your true inner circle, your besties, the people you absolutely NEED in your life. Then you can add other people, who maybe are less close friends, but still impact your life. The closest people might be directly connected to you, but ones further out may be connected through other people (you know, the friend of a friend, or maybe it's your cousin's roommate). Looking at the web of people who influence your life (and the connections between them) can be a really fascinating way to think about your place in the world.
There are a lot of ways to work a bit of reflection and gratitude into our birthday plans...and equally as many reasons why we might want to do so! Taking the time to recognize all the things that have contributed to you being you makes you realize just how interconnected we are, and it is hard not to be grateful for all of the things that have helped us become the amazing, unique, wonderful people we are today.
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