Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Help a mom in need

 


When we think of Mother's Day, what normally comes to mind is paying homage to YOUR mother (and maternal line, so grand-mother and so on).  It is often associated with doing something nice for your mom, giving her a 'day off' or just letting her know you appreciate her.


And in a perfect world, everyone would not only have a good relationship with their own mom, but every mom would have the love and respect of their children (and would have earned it by actually caring for them).  And this would extend into the community, so it wouldn't JUST be your direct bloodline that appreciated you and did things to make your life easier, but the whole community you live in.


Sadly, this isn't the case for so many people.  Motherhood can be a lonely and draining role to play, and so many times it is just stacked on top of all the other things a woman is doing, and no accommodations are made for the extra work and stress this puts on her.  Especially for people who don't have close family (either emotionally close or sometimes physically if your family all lives too far away to visit regularly), this can mean a mother never having help or days off.


Mother's day is a great time to look at the people in your life, not just your maternal bloodline, but any mothers you know, and think about something you can do that would make their life a little bit better.  This can be as simple as sending them a message letting them know that you think they are doing a great job (and trust me, even those moms who seem to always be on top of everything will love hearing this!).  You could make a simple gift bag to give to them, maybe a special sweet or snack, but something special just for them (because moms often share everything with their kids).  


If you want to make it something more, maybe offer to help them out in some way.  Take the kids on a playdate, or ask if you can come over and help them tidy up (honestly socializing while you do chores makes them SO much more manageable).  This kind of thing could easily be offered on Mother's day, but set for a date that works for both of you.


The thing about motherhood is that, for basically 18 years (give or take), this is your life.  There are no weekends off, holidays and summers mean more work, not less.  Family vacations are still work (and most mother's don't have the luxury of taking a vacation without their kids).


((I just want to add a little note that I do know that many fathers are wonderful and participate fully in taking care of their kids, and of course there are single fathers who do all the work that a mother would and more....but this is a post about mother's day, and the sad statistics are that mothers end up bearing the brunt of child rearing, even in a two-parent household.  So by all means, apply these suggestions to fathers or parents of any flavor, just help people in need!))

Also, like many holidays, these are things we should stay mindful of the whole year round, not just on Mother's Day.  If you have a friend who is a mom, and you see them struggling, think about how you could help make their life a bit better.  If you see a mom in public who is obviously having a hard time, think about how what you could do to make things easier for her.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but we don't live in villages anymore.  In many places there is no clear sense of community (tied to a place, like the city you live in), and our family structures have gotten more complicated (plus the fact that many people don't live surrounded by their family as they did before), and so there is this void that leaves people trying to fill all the roles that should be filled by their community on their own, and that can simply be overwhelming.  


So let's bring back that sense of togetherness!  Let's reach out to those in need and lend a hand where we can.  If you are able, think about ways that you can help the mothers you know, and know just how much your help can mean to a mother who is feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated.

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