Acquiring tools

If there is one thing that I think holds many people back, when it comes to starting a personal practice, it's tools.  There are a lot of conflicting ideas about what you need, and how you need to acquire things.  I have heard some really damaging stories about how things should come to you, as well as some really good reminders.  I think it can be really confusing and intimidating to try to figure out what information is real and what isn't.

One of the first things I remember reading is that, "It is best if you make all your tools, yourself, by hand."  I full agree that there is a power, a specialness to things you have made yourself that really isn't attainable any other way.  And sometimes, it is this really amazing thing, that you put your blood sweat and tears into.  It takes ages, and sacrifices along the way, but at the end, you have something that really resonates with you.

But other times, it's more like when a little kid brings you a scribble on a piece of paper, or a lumpy bit of clay, and they tell you it's something they made just for you.  It might not be recognizable, and it might not be properly functional...but it still has a special energy that gives it power.

I am blessed to be moderately crafty.  I can make things that mostly look like what I want them to.  I am stubborn and can keep at things until they get done, even if it takes forever.  I find it personally rewarding to make and use simple things, and for me, putting in the work is part of working with a tool.

But, I know this isn't the case for everyone.  And there are some things that I just haven't had the opportunity to do...like working with a forge to make a blade.  I would love to try my hand at blacksmithing.  I hope to someday have that chance.

I have actually read books that say that 'if you are really dedicated, you will forge your own blade.'  There is actually a whole category of advice like this, that starts with 'if you are really dedicated':  you will drive 4 hours to meet with your coven every month, you will get up at dawn or stay up till midnight for rituals, you will meditate for 2 hours every day...or any other of a list of things that honestly aren't feasible for many people.

The thing with this kind of totalitarian statement is it really doesn't speak to everyone.  Some people might be fully able to do all of those things, but choose not to, and for them it is a measure of dedication that they do not want to take that kind of effort.  But for others, some or all of those things might be completely out of reasonable reach.  Sure, they could make that drive...but then they would have to take off work and might be risking their job or in order to get/stay up that late/early they endanger their health.

It is really up to each of us to be honest with ourselves, to know when we are not doing things because we don't feel like it and when it's really honoring our self-care to set boundaries and create a workable balance in our lives that works for us.

Another suggestion that I see people get worked up over quite frequently is the idea that tarot decks should never be bought for one's self, but should be gifted.  This one is quite old as well, and I remember hearing it back when I was first starting two decades ago.

Again, this is both true and not true.  A gifted deck, that was picked by someone who knows what you like (either because you told them, or because they just know you well enough) has the added energy of being an expression of your relationship with the person who gifted it to you.  So, as long as your relationship stays good, it adds that energy every time you work with the deck.  Of course, if things in the relationship should turn sour, then that energy will be associated with the deck as well.

But, someone could gift you a deck that just doesn't mesh with you.  Whether they didn't have quite as good a handle on what you might work well with or if a deck just caught you by surprise (one that you thought you would love, but you find you struggle to work with).  Then, the gift association actually works against you, because you may feel guilt for not liking the deck as much as you think you should.

I have decks that were gifted to me, and decks that I've bought myself.  I find that the deck itself is more important.  There are decks that I just don't think I could work with, no matter how meaningful of a gift it is.  And there are decks that just speak to me, and even if they were given to me by someone I despise, I suspect I would still have no issues working with them (after a good cleansing or two!)

It's definitely something I don't think is worth getting worked up over!  If you feel strongly you need to be gifted a deck...trust your intuition.  But if you are merely worried that some mystic rule out there says you shouldn't buy a deck for yourself, don't let it hold you back.

Another thought I've seen is that it is dangerous to use items that have been used by people before you.  Whether the other people used the item for magical work or not, simply the connections they built up with an item is something that many people are concerned about.

Now, I might not take a knife that I knew was used in activities that were directly against what I believe in spiritual, as my ritual blade.  But I am pretty comfortable working with a knife that my grandfather used as a pocketknife.  I have bought lots of things at thrift stores, and I love the idea that this item that I am using for a spiritual purpose has lived a full life before, and possibly has been loved by someone else, and cherished.

I do tend to cleanse things that I bring home, or at least cut any direct ties to other people who may have owned or used it before me.  I also wash everything (cleanse and clean!), because used items often feel slightly sticky to me...even when they aren't.

There is a similar but almost opposite idea bout pricey, fancy tools.  This is one place where some people feel very strongly.  One group follows the idea that you get what you pay for.  And on some level there is a value to this.  A finely crafted tool carries an air about it that can make you feel more confidant.  If it is made under specific conditions, or blessed in it's creation, or something like that, it will start off more magically potent than a mass produced similar item you pick up at the chain store on the corner.  But you can always build up that same potency yourself, through working with the item.

The other side of this is that 'the power resides within you, and you don't even need tools.'  Which ultimately is true.  You are the power, and the tool is just that...a tool.  It enhances what you do.  Everyone has natural abilities, and spiritual practice is no different.  Some things just come easier for some people, while other people have to work harder.  Some people start off with a disadvantage.

Take eyesight as an example.  I wear glasses every day.  If I don't things are blurry.  My husband doesn't wear glasses.  The glasses are a tool, and technically I can see without them.  But it is much easier for me to see if I'm wearing them.  Both hubby and I can use a telescope to see further, using the lenses in it.  When I was in high school, I loved wearing cosmetic glasses (I had a pair with yellow tinted lenses, no prescription, I just thought they looked cool).

Spiritual tools work in the same way.  You may love to use them because of how they feel, or they may let you do work that would be much harder for you to do without the tool.  I love tools, I collect them.  I drool over fancy, beautifully worked tools online that are way out of my price range.  I am also pretty comfortable working with nothing at all.

Ultimately it comes down to this:  do what works for you.  Don't let anyone else tell you what YOUR practice should look like.  If you want to use tools...do it!  If you want to make them yourself, rock on!  If you want to buy from a skilled crafter, support that artist!  If you want some vintage thing you found at a yard sale for your altar...get it!  If you like to use whatever is around you, even if it's a plastic knife you found on a park bench, there's nothing wrong with that!  It's not about meeting some kind of standard or living up to some standard.  It is about what works for you, in your practice.  So find your tools, the ones that call to you, and acquire them in ways that you are comfortable with, and all is good.