We often think about working with opposing forces at liminal times, such as the equinox, when the forces are more in a state of balance. But there is also great power in working with the opposites of the things that we are very strong in...or working with an energy at the height of it's opposition.
We are smack dab in the middle of summer, and most people are working with the fire, with summer energy, with light. We feel these energies strongly right now, and it is natural to work with them. Whether we are personally strongly connected to these energies or not, we are surrounded by them, and so it's easier to call them up.
But it is well worth the effort to work with the opposing energies as well. What can we learn about winter, while we are in the middle of summer? Sometimes we do this because we find a particular energy so foreign, and so overwhelming, it's only comfortable for us to work with it when it's at it's weakest.
I am not really a sun person (though I am a fire person!), and for a long time I didn't like to even stand outside and soak in the sun during the summer. But I could stand and turn my face to the sun and appreciate it's energy in the middle of winter. It was tolerable to me then. I was surrounded by colder and darker things, and so a bit of sun was something I could manage. By allowing myself to reach out, at these times, when the sun energy was weaker, I definitely started to build more of a connection to it.
Sometimes, we reach out to an opposing energy because we need a bit more of it to balance out the dominant energy. During the summer, when it's so hot outside that it makes breathing hard, and so bright that it's hard to see clearly, I like to go outside at night. The heat has mellowed and the light is gone. I can tap into that softer summer energy because I am using the night and the dark and the (relatively) cooler temperatures to counteract the strong sun energy.
Many of us find really solid connections with a particular element, and might struggle with it's opposite. We may find that the traits that are aligned with our opposite element are ones that elude us, or ones that we manifest in a shadowed way. We may want to call more of those traits into our lives, or move them from being shadowed and back into the light. We might also want to use them to dim the power of the dominant energies within ourselves.
As I mentioned, I like fire. I definitely struggle with water. I blocked my own emotions for many years, not willing to connect with them. I am also a natural empath, so emotions are a distinct weakness for me (both my own and other people's). I struggle with emotions every day. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I often have to break contact (I literally look away, or get up and move away from whatever is overwhelming me). I also find anger is the one emotion that I feel I have the most control over. I can hold my anger, and I can put it away...my anger doesn't control me (the way that other emotions can). I can use my mastery of anger to help me deal with other emotions (that aren't as easy for me).
Working opposite energies also creates a fullness that can be very useful magically speaking. When I was learning, back when everything was covens and working partners, that was one of the reasons given to the male/female suggested pairings. It was to be able to use the masculine and feminine energy together. I personally think that there are many ways to use these types of yin/yang combinations, and focusing so entirely on such a biological distinction is limiting.
When I think about pairings of opposites, I do often think of my husband. We are very different in many ways...and it works. I think that living with someone who was too similar to myself would quickly be problematic. It is nice to know that I can lean on him when I struggle with something, and that often it's because the things I struggle with are easy for him (and the things that he doesn't do quite as well, I'm often better at).
Of course, having vastly different perspectives and approaches also means that sometimes we have spectacular fights. This is another place where working with your opposites is helpful! As has been said many times, if you can put yourself in the other person's perspective, that is a huge first step in working out an issue. So, even though I don't respond to things the way he does, I have learned to step out of myself and into his viewpoint, to see things as he might think of them, and then to re-examine the issue we are having...but from the opposite side.
Going back to using opposites in magic, many spells and rituals take a one sided approach, but I think we loose a lot this way. It's like trying to shove stuff in a bag without first taking out the stuff that was in there. When we work, we are often calling something into our lives or trying to release it. But nature abhors a vacuum, and so we can use this to work both sides of the magic.
If you are trying to call something into your life, spend some time thinking about what you might need to release to make room for what you want. You might be surprised by what comes up! For example, if you are wanting to move into a house, you might need to do some work to let go of the memories you have at your current place, or you might need to release old insecurities about no longer having the safety net of a landlord who will fix things for you when they break. Sometimes, if we don't do the work to clear out these things first, they will hold us back from what we want to receive.
On the flip side of the coin, if you are wanting to get rid of or release something, you might have to look at the good things that were brought into your life by it and work on updating your connections to those. You might want to leave a toxic friendship, but maybe they are the only person who is willing to drop everything and babysit when you find out you have to work the next day. In order to actually cut them out of your life, you might have to call in a solution to that problem...so you don't keep literally calling them back because you need them.
The wonderful thing about working with opposites is that they bring a level of complexity to any situation. Working with just one thing gives you a very flat approach. When you bring in the opposite energies, now you have this push and pull that creates a tension...and movement. It looks at things from both sides, and lets you see things you might have missed. It allows you to work an issue from both sides, giving you extra power with which to create the life you want. And it gives you more tools to work on your inner growth.
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