Welcoming back the sun

 

 In the middle of winter, Yule is the time for us to welcome back the sun.  Today, we think of this as a symbolic gesture, we know that it is the moment when the days start getting longer again, and the sun will be out more, but our ancestors didn't know take this expectation for granted, and until they saw the signs of the longer days there remained that fear that maybe this year the sun would just keep getting less and less.  Welcoming back the sun was a heart-felt appreciation for the life and warmth it brings to our lives.

One common practice I see a lot of people embracing for Yule is to stay up all night (and literally welcome the sun back in the morning).  And while this can be a really powerful way to celebrate, it isn't necessarily accessible for everyone.  Obviously, some people work, and others may not be able to stay up all night for a variety of reasons (children, health issues, age).  A simpler practice would be to watch the sun rise, but even that may be difficult or impossible for many people.  

But while experiencing things in person may be an idealized practice, the truth is we live in a day and age where we aren't limited to that!  We can watch videos of the sunrise, or look at breathtaking pictures that capture that magical moment.  We can read poems that put emotions into words, or read other descriptions of the wonder of sunrise.  It can be really eye opening to read about other people's experiences, to be able to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and see what the shared experience of sunrise means to people who live very different lives from ours.

We might also take this opportunity to do a bit of journeying, and to wonder about how our ancestors might have approached this time of year.  It's one thing to think about the hardships they might have faced, and another to try to put ourselves in their place.  Doing a visualization and stepping into the role of one of our ancestors can not only open our eyes but can teach us so much about how similar (and different) we are.  

I have always thought that one of the hardest things for us to really grasp is how uncertain things felt.  People made up stories to try to explain all the mystery of the world around them.  They noticed that the sun rose and set at different times throughout the year, and they didn't understand why, but as the months grew colder and the sun was out less, it was only natural to worry that maybe this year it wouldn't come back (especially if you also consider that they felt that gods were present in the world around us and that we could displease them in a way that would make them lash out to punish us).

Trying to put yourself back in that situation, to really feel how it must have felt (or at least as close as we can come to understanding it) not only brings us closer to our ancestors, but it gives us a unique perspective on some of our modern fears (I may not worry about the sun not rising in the morning, but I have definitely thought about the effects of our sun one day dying, or other catastrophic events that science has told us are possible).  It makes me feel comforted to know that one day, perhaps one of my decedents will wonder how I could possibly worry about things like that (because they may have figured it out and know how things work).  It reminds me of the idea that any science significantly advanced enough will appear to be magic (and also that maybe one day what we see and practice as magic might be fully defined and understood as science!)

I also feel like the sun has a very different role in our lives today than it did in times past.  If you go far enough back, the sun was the only reliable source of light, and so it's cycles truly dictated our ancestors lives.  Even back before the advent of electricity, light at night was not always accessible (or abundant), and people lived much of their lives at the mercy of daylight.  Today, we are not as limited, and yet we still find ourselves drawn to the light, and especially when something like daylight savings time comes by and we notice the big shift (and it is now dark in the afternoon...) and we feel off kilter.

Even when it comes to electric lights, we are constantly striving to make our lights more natural and realistic (or we run in the other direction with things like color changing LED lights).  We know that indoor lights are not created equal, and many people struggle with different qualities of light.  We also know that actual sunlight is important for many health reasons (from our sleep cycle to emotional regulation and mental well being).

So even though we don't worry about the sun not rising in the morning when we go to bed at night, we need to acknowledge the important role that the sun plays in our lives.  It warms us and lights our way and grows our food and it is nice to have this time dedicated to acknowledging that and taking the time to not only show our gratitude but to also express our appreciation to the light for all it does in our lives. 

Winter storms

 

 Mother Nature isn't always gentle and kind, as we see in storms of all kinds.  But winter storms have the added effect of lingering, and can last days...or more!  Even today, winter storms can cause a lot of devastation, interrupt our lives and even prove deadly.  And that is even with all our advances in modern science, for our ancestors this time of year would have been even more dangerous.

But while storms can create unexpected tragedy, they are also undeniably powerful, and we can tap into that power for many purposes.  As with most storm work, storms can be unpredictable, so stay mindful of that as you prepare for your work.

When we think about work our ancestors might have done with storms, we often think of protection and destruction as the two main focuses.  Protection was mainly focused around protecting you and your loved ones (and property) from the storm itself, where with destruction work you were using the storm as a representation of the destruction you were wanting to cause.

Today, while protection work is still quite valid, it may just look a little different from what our ancestors would consider.  In most cases, it would take a historic storm to do more than inconvenience most of us.  Even when we loose power, we have resources at our disposal now to help make sure we are taken care of.  With cell phones, we often don't even loose communication, which can be quite problematic when talking about being snowed in.

But even though we may not have the same deep seated fears about the effects of storms, we still want to avoid the worst they have to offer, and would welcome help in not being too effected by them.  So along side tapping into the storms energies to protect you and your household, consider also the myriad of ways your life will be effected by the storm.  While I can absolutely manage in my house without internet, I'd rather not have that limitation, so protecting my connection to the outside world is something I work towards.  On a similar thought, while we could probably survive for months on the food in our house, I like having the option of outside food, so I also work to keep the roads clear and safe (because we live in a place that doesn't get a lot of winter storms, so people aren't great at driving in winter weather).

I also really enjoy opening myself up to the energy of storms, as I find that it often lets me express feelings that I bottle up inside.  Especially in the winter, with all the holidays and events and obligations (and gifts!) weighing us down, we can become quite frustrated with having to stay in good cheer all the time (because you aren't allowed to be grumpy during the holidays, right?)  Try opening yourself up to the energy of the storm, and have some good tools of self-expression handy for whatever comes up.  You might feel inspired to do art to express what your are feeling, or you may want to write/type about the experience instead.  If you have a witchy (or just open-minded) friend you trust you might do this together and you can talk about how it felt afterwards (as well as doing any other activities, together or later when you are alone).

If you do end up being snowed in, I think that is a very special kind of energy as well.  I know the Pandemic has altered many people's thoughts about being 'stuck home', and I know that as adults we often have trained ourselves to look at what we 'should be doing', but I have always seen being snowed in as I did when I was a child...it's a free day!  Yes, you can't do the things you had planned to do, and often you are quite severely limited in what you can do....but that just means that you now have no plans for the day!  It's the perfect day to just play (whatever that means to you...it might mean playing a game, reading, watching something, doing a hobby, crafting.....and bonus points if it is something you 'always meant to try' or 'never have time to do').

Divination is always a fun activity to do, whether you want to tap into the energy just before the storm starts, at it's height, or in it's aftermath, each provides you an opportunity to explore a part of your life that isn't ordinary.  Just prior to a storm, there is often that stillness and a sense of something about to happen.  We can get a similar experience sometimes in life around a powerful event.  So this would be a good time to look for clarity on big changes in your life, especially in what you can do to prepare for them.  In the middle of the storm, you are caught up in all the drama of everything that is going on, and sometimes it can feel hard to slow down enough to think.  Here you might ask about what the best course of action is, and how to move yourself into a safe space where you can have the time you need.  And after the storm, we are often just so overwhelmed with the sense of loss that we can't figure out what we need to do to recover or how to start moving past it.

 

So, when winter hits, and you feel that stillness in the air, get ready for any storms that might be approaching.  Think about how you want to work with each storm that comes your way, for each one is an opportunity to connect with the storm and use it's energy to enhance your life.  Whether you simply want to stay safe and protected or whether you want to ride the storm and see where it takes you, remember to not only take appropriate magical precautions, but also all the physical ones as well.

Unseasonable weather

 

 When it comes to both holidays (like Yule) and seasons, we grow up with certain mental images of what the world should look like.  I'll be speaking from a Norther Hemisphere perspective, as that's where I've always lived, but I will touch on how this effects our world view (in regards to places that experience seasons differently).  For me, Yule (and winter) have always been about cold and snow.  I was absolutely the kid that wished for a white Xmas (and only ever got one!)

Even as an adult, I want winter to be cold and snowy (rainy winters are just cold and miserable, I'd much rather it be seriously cold and frozen because that never feels as cold to me as when you are wet).  And when it's warm enough out to wear shorts, it just doesn't feel right.  Which is kind of ironic considering I lived in Hawaii for a while, and both winter and Xmas there are quite warm!

I think it's really easy to pin all our expectations on things like the weather, and to feel like 'it's not really Yule unless it's cold and snowy out'.  But that can lead us to feel unsatisfied with how the world is (because we are continually comparing it to 'the way it should be' and of course reality rarely compares to our idealized fantasy world).  And we shouldn't let our expectations ruin our holiday experiences, even if they aren't quite what we wished for.

So how do you reconcile your holiday dreams with the reality of what is?  I think one thing that really helps is to look for the good in what you have.  If it's not snowing, maybe you can go for a nice walk and appreciate the stillness of winter.  If it's cold and rainy it might be the perfect day to cuddle up in a blanket with a hot beverage of your choice and watch a cozy movie (maybe even one with snow!)  

House decorations can play a big part in this as well.  I have snowflake window clings that live on my windows most of winter, to make up for the fact that I live somewhere with (typically) very little snow.  Things like tinsel mimic the sparkle of sun on snow, and can also call up holiday feelings for many.

And of course we can get creative with crafting!  When I lived in Hawaii, we would use sand instead of snow, so we might make 'sand angels' or build a sandman (or make a driftwood tree, like in the picture above!)  Art can be a wonderful way to create a seasonal feel when the outside doesn't match your mental image of the season.  There are tons of seasonal craft projects you can find online, for many different areas of the world, so a bit of exploring will get you lots of options!

I also think that sometimes it's fun to explore our feelings about seasons feeling out of phase.  For example, if I were to take a trip to Australia for the holidays (where it is summer in December instead of winter), it can be a fun mental experiment to lean into the differences.  See how local people celebrate things and allow yourself to participate without expectations (try not to judge things in comparison to what you are used to, rather simply enjoy what they have to offer and appreciate them for their own merits).  Often if we can simply stop comparing and stop expecting sameness we will find that the experience we have is unique and amazing and will be something we will remember for years to come (because it was so different from what we are used to).

I think especially from a Pagan perspective, with so many of our holidays based on seasonal observances (and often from a European part of the world so not even necessarily in tune with the seasonal shifts where we actually live), there can be a disjointedness in how we experience celebrations.  And this might mean we have to step away from the associations we learned and instead embrace what the world in our neck of the woods does at different times of the year.  Exploring this connection to the world outside your door can be a powerful thing!

Wherever you life, and however you celebrate, if you find yourself feeling a bit down because you 'wish it was more like...(whatever you are comparing things to)' try to stop judging and just be open to what is.  Find ways to bring a bit of that seasonal magic into your home and celebrations, whether that means decorating to suit or spending some time doing seasonal crafting.  Nothing in nature is perfect, and it is those imperfections that make for amazing experiences, so don't sell yourself short by only accepting perfection!

Slowing down and turning inward

 

 One thing that has changed dramatically over the years is how much the seasons effect us.  Modern technology has allowed us to live as if the world were the same every day, year round.  Our ancestors didn't have that luxury.  When winter came, their whole life changed.  There were lots of things they could no longer do, and much like the natural world, they worked hard during the rest of the year so that they would have the resources to manage the winter, and as a result they had more free time in the winter months.

This time would often be spent connecting with each other, listening to stories (and learning from the past), and thinking deep thoughts.  This is something I feel we have lost so much with our modern 24/7/365 paced lifestyle.  We no longer have these fallow times where we can let go of our burdens and simply be.  We don't have time every year to contemplate our lives or the things that are important to us.  Sometimes we can't even find time to sit with our own thoughts for a few minutes.

But that kind of decompression time is necessary!  And introspection is a very healthy practice for everyone that I firmly believe we don't do enough anymore (especially with so many distractions constantly at our fingertips with phones and computers and on demand content of every kind).  It's a sad fact that many people can't stand to simply sit with themselves for even a few minutes.

And I know that we are all busy, and trying to cram as much as possible into every second because we know how precious time is.  But this is one of those things that seems like a 'waste of time' but actually gives us so much more!  

Taking time to rest, to dream, to think and to simply be has amazing restorative properties!  I often think of this kind of practice as a form of meditation, and so much has been written about the benefits of meditation, even if you can only squeeze in a few minutes here and there.  It's one of those practices that I feel that any attempts have benefits, and that no matter where you are in life, you can add in a bit of stillness and be better for it.

If we are really honest with ourselves, sometimes we do things just to fill the void.  I find myself scrolling social media or searching for something to watch ALL the time.  And I'm definitely not suggesting that we never do these things, as sometimes distraction or mindless entertainment is exactly what we need.  But we can also shave a little time off of these kind of things and give ourselves space to simply be.

One of my favorite times to start with are those little moments of waiting we have scattered throughout our day.  If we are stuck in a line, don't pull out your phone and start filling that time, but simply allow yourself to think.  If you are cooking dinner and waiting for a pot to boil, sit down, have a sip of water and let your mind wander.

I should note, I think it's important to really let yourself play with this time.  Do your best to not focus on your to-do list or worry about that thing that someone said to you. Let yourself walk down memory lane (but think about positive memories, or at the very least memories with lessons).  

Journaling can also be a great way to turn inward.  If you haven't tried stream of thought journaling, I highly recommend it!  You may find yourself thinking you don't have anything to write about, so start with that!  Grab a pen and just write "I don't know what to write about..." and then keep going.  Any thought that comes to your mind goes on your paper.  Spend a few minutes doing this, and then read back what you wrote (actually I love going back to old journals, reading entries, and then writing my current thoughts about what I had written before...it's a great way to dig deeper into things or just observe your own growth).

It's very easy, especially with holiday season looming ever closer, to find small delays frustrating and to be focused on how far behind we fell or our giant to-do list, but every moment you can stop the rush and the overthinking and just let yourself breathe and exist and think is a precious gift, and you may be surprised to realize how much reclaiming these small moments does to make you feel more refreshed and less weighed down by the hustle and bustle of modern life.

Our relationship with food

 

When we think of food holidays, Thanksgiving is often top of the list.  While it definitely has a questionable history, in the modern era it has become an excuse to stuff yourself on more food than we should probably be eating.  And (in the US at least), we have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food, not only when we think about the types of foods we eat but also the quantities.

Portion size is a huge problem in many parts of the world.  In some places, 'traditional' foods were designed for people who were going out to work hard labor all day, and so needed a hearty, calorie rich meal to see them through.  While of course many people still do labor intensive jobs, many of our modern jobs aren't as physical as they used to be (especially for anyone who has a desk job or works at the computer all day), and so our dietary needs can be quite different from our ancestors.

We also have access to a TON more processed foods, foods high in things we don't need a ton of:  salt, sugar and fat.  Yes, these things are highly craveable, addictive and enjoyable to eat, but they shouldn't be the bulk of our diet.  Sadly, for many people, these foods are also more affordable and available, and if you are limited in budget or depending on where you live (and how much time/money you have to spare just traveling to find better food options), you may be stuck with trying to do the best you can with whatever processed foods you can afford and manage to purchase.

The real kicker about healthy food options is most people know (at least in general) what foods are healthy and which ones aren't so good for us.  But we have been socialized to crave the less healthy foods, and simultaneously shamed for eating them (which leads to a lot of complicated emotions and often some negative self-talk, even if you are honestly doing your best to eat in a way that is good for you and within your budget).

One of the first things I think that we need to do, to repair our relationship with food, is to really look at which foods you like (and don't like)...and why.  I also feel that it is important to keep trying foods we may not be super excited about, as I have found there are quite a lot of foods that I enjoy when prepared a specific way, but don't really care for when prepared in other ways.  Many people haven't enjoyed foods at their prime or prepared in a way that really highlights their best qualities, and so they think they don't like things that they very well may love (if cooked the right way).

But of course we all have personal preferences as well, so there may be dishes that we will never enjoy.  And sometimes those foods are part of a 'traditional' spread, and so we feel more guilt when things like Thanksgiving roll around and we are torn with deciding whether or not to cook and eat the traditional foods (that we don't enjoy) or breaking from tradition and making foods we relish.  Personally, I'm never a fan of eating foods because we 'should' (with the very small exception of religiously significant bites, but even then, if it's a huge no for you, then it's a no!).

This is a bit more complicated when we talk about family, especially if you have a family that really gets into tradition and is hosting a family dinner where you know there will be dishes you don't care for (but you may be expected to eat because "Aunty worked really hard to cook this for us all, and you need to be polite and eat it and tell her how much you like it").  This is one place where I think we ALL need to do better.  We can politely decline (and bring a dish that we know we will enjoy eating if we also know there will be a lot of foods we won't wish to eat), and we can be understanding when someone prefers not to eat something we have made, no matter how hard we worked on it.

I also want to talk a little bit about something I've recently been learning about:  safe foods.  For some people, food is more than just a matter of not liking something.  Food distress can be intense, can stop people from eating certain foods and can lead to a lot of food related mental health issues.  Safe foods are ones that are quite literally that:  safe.  They are often foods that are processed (because they are made the same way, and thus you can expect the experience of eating them will be how you remembered it, as opposed to things like fruit which can vary highly depending on how ripe they are or things like that).  

Safe foods often remind me a bit of comfort foods (and a safe food can definitely be a comfort food!).  Comfort foods are ones that we turn to when we aren't feeling so good and just want to feel cozy and cared for.  Quite often they are either indulgent (like a guilty pleasure), or have strong memories attached to them (like the soup your mom always made for you when you were sick).  And we can give ourselves guilt about these foods too, even as we seek them out for comfort (especially if your comfort food is one that is not technically 'healthy').

We should try to have the best relationship with food that we can, and also try to not beat ourselves up for the ways in which our eating habits aren't ideal.  This may look like trying small bits of new foods, even if you are unsure, and it may also mean not letting yourself feel bad for turning to a safe or comfort food.  It means being mindful of how you eat, and how you think about the way you eat, and how society's views on how you eat impact your mental health.

While there are a million people out there who may try to tell you how and what you should be eating, at the end of the day, you are responsible for feeding yourself, and only you can know how the foods you eat truly effect you.  Part of being an adult means being honest with yourself about your actions, your motivations and your thoughts, and trying to improve (even just a tiny amount) when you can.

So keep that in mind this Thanksgiving, or at any other family dinner, feast or even meal you eat by yourself:  that you not only get to decide what you want to eat, but you must live with the consequences of those choices.  And you are the only one who can balance your needs, cravings and desires.  It may not be easy, but if you work on it, you may just find that your life is improved by your willingness to work on your relationship with food.

Leaf Magic

 Autumn is here in my part of the world, and that means gorgeous falling leaves!  Leaves are such a great resource for magic, and with the colors changing for fall, there are even more options available to us.  Not only do we have the variations in shape and species, but now we have color options as well...just one more variable to play with.

One of the first practices I remember that involves leaves was simply using them as a way to release things that no longer serve us.  So many trees loose their leaves each year, and that is a lesson we can learn, that no matter vital a thing may seem to us, we may find a time where we have to let them go and trust that when we need them again, we will have them.  But even for things that are clearly not a benefit to us, we can sometimes cling out of fear (the foe I know versus the unknown) or simply out of habit.  Find a leaf that feels like it fits what you want to release, and charge it with your intention (you can whisper to it, write on it, or just hold it between your hands and visualize transferring the thing you are releasing into it), and then hold it up and let the wind take it away.

For a bit more of a punch, you can burn leaves to really remove things from your life.  For this, I like writing one thing on each leaf, one thing that I want gone.  It can be really liberating feeling to sit down with a pile of leaves and just do a bit of a mental inventory, to see what in your life you would want free from.  Keep writing things until you run out of ideas, and then sett up a fire source.  Remember, dry leaves are both light and flammable so make sure you take the appropriate fire safety precautions, and then one by one burn your leaves. 

Leaves can also be used as messengers (along with any number of seeds that are designed to float on the wind, like maple seeds or dandelion puffs).  Speak your message into the leaf, and then think about who you want to send the message to.  The nifty thing about this is that fallen leaves can be thought of as being in a limbo state...they are dying, and thus can also cross the barrier between worlds, so you can use them to send messages to people who are no longer with us.  When you have the one you want to communicate with firmly in mind, release the leaf and let it carry it's message away.

 

I really enjoy utilizing the features of an object to enhance my magic, and one feature that leaves have is veins.  These veins can represent a lot of things.  You could use leaf veins to do family work, using them as a representation of your family tree.  We also have veins, so you can use them for healing work (especially anything to do with blood flow in your body, or our nervous system).  The veins fork and branch, so they can be used to help navigate situations where you have a lot of choices (consider writing different options on different parts of the leaf and then casting onto the leaf to see how different options will go for you).

 

Which leads us firmly into leaf divination.  You can divine with leaves in all sorts of ways.  You might like to gather leaves from a variety of plants around your home, and keep them in a bowl.  When you want some guidance, you can pick a leaf from your bowl, and then look to the plant it came from for your answers (which is also a great way to become more familiar with plants local to your area!).  You can toss a leaf in the air and interpret how it falls, or light part of it on fire and read the burn patterns, you can crumble a leaf and scatter the bits and read how they land, and you can always look for images and signs in the colors of the leaf.

 

Leaves can be a unique starting point for intentional art!  Especially with the wide range of colors, shapes and unique properties that make each leaf different.  You might gather a bunch of leaves and use them to create collage art.  Or you might search out individual leaves and trace art in the patterns of color found in each leaf.  You could trace leaves and use those shapes to be creative (turn the leaf outline into funny animals or whimsical houses).  If you apply paint directly to a leaf, you can use it as a stamp!  You can even pound the pigment from leaves onto paper or cloth (lay out wet leaves in a pattern on the paper or cloth you want to pigment, put another piece of paper over them to cover and use a hammer to transfer the pigment).  And with any of these art projects, you can set an intention as you work on them, write out an issue and art over it, or simply play with the process as a way to sink into sacred space.

 

 If you want to create meaningful fall decor, consider using leaves as a way to celebrate gratitude.  For this, you can use real leaves, fake leaves or make leaves out of paper or cloth (or anything you like!).  You can string them on garlands and hang them in your home, or keep/attach them on branches and arrange them like a bouquet.  On each leaf, write something you are grateful for.  This can be a great activity for a family night or friend gathering, letting everyone contribute and share the things they are grateful for.

And we can also tap into our childhood by playing with leaves!  Make a small pile and kick it about or jump into it.  Make patterns in fallen leaves, or use fallen leaves (and other natural bits) to make mandalas.  Use sticks and leaves to make little people and create scenes with them.  Have a leaf fight with a friend!  Just allow yourself to tap into your inner child and play!

There are a ton of things we can do with leaves, and so many ways to fold them into our practice.  And you may find, that by trying some of these activities, you think of new ways to work with leaves!  Embrace the season and see how you can use leaves in your practice.

Figuring out your spiritual needs

 

 One of the things I've always loved about Paganism is how much of it is very much 'choose your own.'  Sure, if you join a group or pursue degrees in an organization, there may be structure, but in our personal practice, there are no hard and fast rules or really anyone to tell us that we should (or should not) be practicing a particular way.

And in fact, this can be a struggle for a lot of people, both new and more experienced.  It's hard, because you kind of have to figure it out yourself, there is no guidebook to turn to when you have a question about how often to do a thing or whether one method is 'better' than another.  It definitely takes some getting used to, that every part of your practice is ultimately up to you.

I also think it complicates things that many resources out there suggest a way of doing things, but don't make it clear that it is JUST a suggestion!  I've read so many books that will introduce a practice, like meditation or reading tarot, and they will give suggestions on how often to do something, but not give a lot of options for if that one way doesn't quite work for you.

Meditation is a great example.  A ton of sources recommend meditating daily, often for between 10-30 minutes.  And for some people, that works great!  For others, it's too long, or too frequent.  Maybe you just don't have that much free time (and you don't want to spend what time you do have meditating!), or maybe you tried it and sitting for 30 minutes a day was just too much for your body.  

 

One saying I absolutely adore suggests that doing a thing at all is better than not doing it (often applied to difficult tasks, where we may not be able to do them perfectly or even completely, but doing a little is still better than not doing it at all).  In the case of meditation, if 30 minutes a day doesn't work for you, but you enjoy doing 30 minutes once a week on the weekend...do that!

Many people like to have a framework to start from, and books are great for that.  It used to be that Pagan books told you how to do things (as in they explained how to cast spells, how rituals were structured, how to ground), but didn't often suggest a plan for actually doing all the stuff.  However, in recent years, more books have come out with a plan, whether it is a way to build up practices or a full year of daily activities.

If those kind of things appeal to you, find one that seems enticing and give it a try!  I haven't seen a suggested plan yet that I feel I would be worse off for having tried it, even if it didn't work for my life.  So you really aren't out anything by giving things a go, and you might find that even if the whole plan doesn't work for you, bits of it do (and you can always keep the parts that work for you and let go of the rest!).

I think that having a rough idea of what you want your path to look like can help, so it may be useful to sit down and brainstorm about what spirituality means to you.  Are you looking for something with more structure, or do you need freedom to follow your whims?  Do you want daily practices that you can build on, or would you rather stick to bigger observations throughout the year (or both!)  How close of a relationship do you want with deities...or do you even want to work with any?  Do you want to work alone, with others or a combination?

These are a few, broad questions to start with, but anytime you learn something new, you can ask yourself how you see that fitting into your practice.  It might be that you want to start off learning a little bit about a bunch of different topics, just to see what interests you the most, or maybe you already have something you really want to dive deep into, and you can start planning out how you want to approach that study.

I feel like one thing to always keep in mind is that you are absolutely free to change your mind (and your practice!) at any given time.  You may have tried some things out, and realize that it's too much or not enough for your needs.  Adjusting how much time and energy you devote to this aspect of your practice can make it fit better with your life.  And remember, we are constantly changing, so our needs might change too...a practice that fits you now, might need adjusting in a few months, or even after decades of doing things a particular way.

 

Wherever you are on your path, spending some time to check in and see if your spiritual needs are being met (and are meshing with the rest of your life), can be a very helpful way to make sure you are living the best Pagan/witchy life you can.  And just taking a moment to think about whether you are doing enough, or too much, of anything can be a helpful starting point in figuring out just where that sweet spot is for you.  You may be surprised to find out that things that you thought were 'just fine' could actually use a little tweaking!

Brainstorming work

 

One of the things that I think takes the longest to get comfortable with is creating your own spells and rituals (or any practice really).  As much as I feel like Paganism embraces individualized and personalized practice, most books only go into the bare bones on how to build a working from the ground up, and many 101 books don't really talk about doing your own thing at all.  They just include a handful of premade spells and rituals, and often those don't really fit (because we are all individual, and we might live in a different country or time period from where the spell originated, which also makes things complicated).

 

I've always been a big fan of making your own spells (and for ease of wording, I'm going to say spells for the rest of this post, even though the same process can be used to build any spiritual working, from rituals to protections to Sabbats!), or at the very least tweaking the bits that don't work in spells you find out in the wild.  In my very early days I did work with spells straight out of books, and while it has a certain comfort level (because it's very easy to doubt your own capabilities), it was always like wearing hand-me-down clothes....they feel like they don't quite fit most of the time.

 

But writing your own spells can feel daunting, and for many people even figuring out where to start is an issue.  It's one of those weird things that feels like it should be talked about everywhere, and yet it's not, and when it is talked about, it's in a very bare bones kinda way (I mean even this blog post won't be as complete an explanation as might be wanted, but it's more extensive than a lot of the 'how to write your own spells' sections we see in books). 

The start is always the why...why are you doing a spell.  Note, I don't start with what you want to seek, because I feel like the why is always more important than the what.  The why will lead to the what (and sometimes, as you explore the why, you discover that you are actually needing to work towards a different what than you thought you did!)

So start by asking yourself why, and really dig in here.  If you wanted to make a spell to get a job, why are you looking for a job (do you want money, more excitement in your life, a chance to do something creative, or are you just bored).  Notice, that all of those things could be reasons to find a job...but many of them lead to very different types of jobs.  Knowing the why of your spell will help inform every step of the process!

Sometimes the why will be straightforward, like if you have a friend who is sick and you want to do something to help them heal.  You care about your friend and you want them better, that is your why.  But sometimes the why is more elusive, like if you want to loose weight, your why might be that you want to be healthier, but it might also include wanting to look better (and feel sexier or more confidant) and that you want to be able to play soccer without feeling winded immediately.  You don't have to pick just one why, in fact exploring the many reasons behind your spell can help you create a much more inclusive working!

If you are struggling with understanding your why, it can be helpful to get outside advice.  This might mean turning to your favorite divination method, and spending some time journaling out your whys, or it might mean asking a trusted friend or loved one for their input.  Just remember, if you are talking to other people, that you want to not only ask someone who you trust (and who knows you), but also someone who isn't going to try to talk you out of doing your work (sometimes you can get advice on your why without explaining what specifically you are planning on doing, so take our job example, you might ask a friend what type of job they think you would enjoy without telling them you are planning on doing a spell for it).

Once you have your why, you can start to think about the main shape your spell will take.  There are tons of types of spells out there, from candle spells to jar spells to bag spells or simple fire and forget spells.  This is one place where reading examples (especially examples that are similar to what you are planning, so if you are wanting to heal a friend, looking at a selection of healing spells can give you a sense of what other people have found works, and that is a great place to start!).  You might also just like one method over another, and prefer to use it, and that's perfectly fine too!

Almost every spell includes correspondences of some sort, whether they are physical items, representations or simply words to be called upon.  This is where your whys really come into play.  You will want something to represent all of your whys, so if I am wanting to loose weight (to be healthy, to look sexy and to be able to enjoy soccer more), then I should have at least one thing to represent each of my whys.

I sometimes think of deities as a way to include more correspondences.  I have a pretty wide group of deities I work with, so I have a lot of choices for deities that will fit my spell.  And sometimes you can work with multiple deities for the same spell, though this can often require more planning (and some deities just don't work well together, so understanding how they interrelate is important too).  You don't have to call on a deity for your spells, and some people have a patron deity that functions like a catch-all for them, when it comes to calling on deities in a spell.

I also want to note that spell creation isn't necessarily something that needs to be done all at once, in one sitting or quickly.  It can be, and learning to create on the fly is somewhat of a different skill, but for the purposes of this blog post, don't feel like you need to rush the process.  Sometimes, I will let an idea stew in my head, and that helps me come up with connections and ideas that I might have otherwise missed.  If you are planning your spell like this, having a notebook or some spot to jot down your ideas and thoughts as they come can be really helpful!

And, your actual 'spell work' doesn't have to be done in one setting either.  Sometimes, we ritualize the prep, especially if you are making any kind of herbal blend, poppet, totem or amulet/talisman (which might need to be prepared ahead of time).  Your spell might also extend into the future (like when you burn a 7 day candle for a spell), or have reactivation activities (like shaking a jar spell when it needs a boost or charging a ward every full moon).  

With any spell work, I think it's important to not pressure yourself too much over the results.  You aren't a bad witch/Pagan if you do a spell and it doesn't work out.  It's not even necessarily that the spell didn't work...sometimes our spells are like trying to hold back the push of the ocean with just your hands....you might not have enough force to create the change you are working towards.  But every spell you do (especially those you create) help you become better at them in the future!

One thing that I think can be important (but often overlooked) when talking about spell creation is reflecting on, and adjusting, the spell after the fact.  Especially for something (like a healing spell) that you might want to use again in the future, taking the time to think about (and make some notes on) what went well and what didn't go as well as you would have liked, along with how the spell felt as you did it and the results afterward...these all help to let you refine the spell for future use.

 

Creating your own spells isn't as hard as it first seems, and the benefits are countless.  Not only does it give you the ability to tailor your spells to your exact needs, but it also gives you complete control over what you use to do your spell, what deities (if any) you choose to work with, and how complicated or simple you prefer your work to be.  I highly recommend anyone who hasn't made their own spells give it a try...it's not as scary as it sounds!

Books of shadows

 

 Welcome to my library...or at least part of it.  I am a book lover and a writer, and of course I have a million books that make up my 'book of shadows' (honestly, this isn't even all of them).  When we talk about a Book of Shadows, it is often described as being a huge tome, handmade with an ornate cover, with illustrated and beautiful pages, holding all the information one has collected as they walk their path.

But as you can see, for some of us, one book just won't do!  Not only is it simply not big enough, but it may not have the organization you want (or need!).  And a fancy book of shadows probably isn't something that the average person would have had (even the big coven BOS' were probably quite plain on the outside).  Of course, we live in a time now where we are free to have beautiful and fancy books to write whatever we want in, so if you like that kinda thing, have at it!  I have a few really lovely and unique books in my selection...though as you can see, quite a lot are very simple or basic.

My first BOS was a three ring binder.  This binder....which was really just my favorite binder from school.  It has pockets (which is really handy for all those odd shaped papers that I like to keep in them).  But most importantly, it has tabs and three rings!  It let me move stuff around as often as I wanted, and in the beginning, that was priceless.  It also let me easily remove and add pages...at any point!

In my early days, I remember reading all about the Book of Shadows, and how it had a counterpoint, the Book of Light.  If the BOS was dedicated to the nitty gritty "stuff you do" then the BOL was all about inspiration:  poetry and stories that delighted you.  I think of it as something to turn to when you need a bit of spiritual uplifting.  I have a few books where I keep particularly moving poetry (one for poems I write myself, and one for others I find).  I even have a wishes book, which is basically a paper version of a pinterest dream board!  I have a bunch of pictures I cut out of magazines or printed out, and it's just all pretty witchy stuff that makes me happy to look at.

From there, my books just started expanding.  I made a little one (so it was portable!) for a Correspondence book, and I also made a travel BOS (which is a cute little leather bound book that I kept my most basic and most well used stuff in..for when I was away from home, but still wanted something!).

I have a dream book, though I struggle to use that.  I used to dream every night, but only remembered my dreams for a short time upon waking.  The problem was, that I really hated the process of writing it down.  As soon as I started, it was like the process of writing made the fragments of dream flee even further.  I think this is part of the process of figuring out which kinds of books you might want for your practice...sometimes they just don't work out!

Another type of book I kept early on (but don't use as much now) is a working record book.  I would record the spells and rituals I did, how they went and how things turned out (okay I almost always forgot that last bit...).  I have several of them now, though today I am more likely to use my witchy log than directly recording my work.

Speaking of the witchy log, that is a very recent book I started a few years ago.  I really struggle with keeping up with tasks (in all realms of my life), and a planner has helped my everyday life so much, I thought having a book specifically dedicated to my witchy life would help.  It gives me a place to check in everyday, do moon work, journal about the sabbats, record random witchy facts or ideas....and it's really working for me.

 

This kind of replaced my old Sabbat book, which was dedicated to my own reflections after Sabbat rituals.  This one sort of fell in a funny place for me.  It felt like a cross between reflective journaling and record keeping, but when I started keeping the Witchy Log, I just stopped using this one.

I also started some topic specific books (because my brain likes organization).  I have books dedicated to runes, to tarot, to astrology, to moon work...pretty much any subject you are interested enough in to want a separate book for!

Art books are another whole category for me.  I have the one that started it all, which is a smashbook I did for an intentional art retreat.  It holds art that was done with specific purposes, so some of the pictures are about exploring archetypes or grounding or transforming.  I ended up with another book (that holds hole punched pages) for loose leaf art, and what I call my healing art book (which is blank pages that I draw pictures/symbols in for healing).  Sometimes my magic isn't about words, sometimes it's about images or color or emotions and these help me tap into that.

I also keep a small book for future ideas.  I heard someone toss this out as concept, and it's so perfect for my brain!  The idea is that you write down stuff you might want to work on...but that you don't have time/energy/motivation to do right now.  It's a future log for magic!  Mine is broken into problems and dreams..so problems are often more outward focused (like when a situation in the world is just bugging you), while dreams tend to be more personal (though of course you could just keep all your future ideas together!)

 

Now, you can probably see that most of my books are pretty spartan.  I don't really decorate them (minus the art books, but those aren't technically decorated either...just full of art lol), because for me that honestly just feels like work.  It's also a bit like that feeling of having a blank (expensive) book and not wanting to use it (because you are afraid of 'messing it up'...though I find just deliberately making a mistake early helps in this...I'm not perfect, my books don't need to be either).  But many people really get into making their books into amazing art works, doing collage and making every word beautiful.  So if that's your thing, go for it!

And if physical books aren't your thing....there are always digital options!  I keep a ton of files on my computer, from books to stuff I've written to things I've clipped from websites.  I've been playing around with OneNote as a way to organize digital stuff, though I've heard great things about Notion as well (and seen some amazing digital books there!)  There are advantages to digital, it's easy to keep a ton of information organized and handy (and with smart phones, portable!)  Personally, I'm more analog than digital, I sometimes struggle to read online text (books are easier for me), so I doubt I will ever be fully digital...but it's so nice for stuff that I am not sure I want/need for the long term.

When it comes to your Book(s) of Shadows, the sky is the limit.  There is no right or wrong way to keep one, just ways that work better for you.  And there is nothing wrong with trying out a few!  Find the books you like to use (bound, spiral, 3ring, digital), figure out how you prefer to keep things (do you like one big book, lots of little ones, write as you go, dedicated sections) and then see which ones stick with you (because sometimes the one you are most excited about just doesn't click).

Offerings

 

Many people include offerings as a part of their practice.  These could be offered up to the divine, to spirits, to ancestors or even simply to the earth.  The type of things that are offered up vary as widely as the people doing the offering...and those receiving it. Offerings range from simple and quick to elaborate and extravagant.

So, what is the purpose of an offering...what role does it play in your practice?  There are lots of reasons why people make offerings, and your path may influence how you think about offerings, but there is often still lots of room to have your own relationship with the idea of offering.  Some consider offerings to be a way of 'feeding the gods' and see it as a way to give back for all of the lovely influence our deities have in our life.  Others see them as tokens of affection, similar to how you might give a friend or loved one a gift just to let them know you are thinking about them.  Another perspective is that offerings are part of the relationship between you, sort of the social construct of witchy work (I work with this being, so they expect offerings).

As you can see, there is a lot of variance in how people think about offerings.  And each one has it's own nuances about what types of offerings might be expected.  As I mentioned before, there are lots of traditional offerings, and many deities have commonly accepted offerings that are strongly associated with them.  However, many people also find their own offerings...through their personal interactions with a particular being.  Especially for ancestor work, if you had a special thing that you shared with someone, that would make a beautiful offering!

A less often talked about thing, when it comes to offerings, is your personal circumstances.  Many people would love to make fancy offerings, but may not be able to afford them.  There is a bit of a misconception out there, that the more elaborate the offering, the 'better' it is.  But offerings come in SO many shapes and sizes and I personally feel that something offered up from the heart, with pure intent, has more spiritual 'weight' than a fancy offering that has no thought or emotion behind it.  

Ethics can also come into play, when we talk about offerings.  Perhaps a traditional offering is something we no longer find acceptable (like animal sacrifices).  Or it may be a personal thing, like not wanting to use alcohol as an offering because you have issues with alcohol.  I struggle with leaving out food offerings because of a combination of issues about leaving food out and food wastage.

And I think that if you have reservations about a particular offering, that will flavor the offering.  It's like giving a gift that you don't really want to give...sometimes the other person can tell.  If you are conflicted about your offering, think about what that says about the relationship.  The tricky bit is that sometimes, we are called to give offerings that we may have thoughts about, and part of the offering is making that personal sacrifice (like when you know your friend isn't as into a particular activity as you are, but they offer to come with you because they love you and know you want someone to do it with).  You are the only person who can decide if an offering is something you are willing to make, and how much out of your comfort zone you are willing to go.

Don't be afraid to try different offerings!  Most of the time, when we are making offerings, it is with a being we are wanting to work with.  If we offer something that isn't idea, we might get feedback that will let us know that something else is desired.  Or we may just get a feeling that the thing we offered wasn't as well received as we might have liked.  If you feel that way, it's a good time to check in and what might be a better fit.  Use whatever means you prefer to communicate, this might be a good time for divination or visualization!

I think it's important to remember that offerings are part of a relationship...they are a way of building it up and reinforcing the connection between you.  Which means that your personal boundaries are important!  If you feel like you need to offer something you simply are not comfortable with, then be vocal about it.  Be clear about why you can not offer the thing desired, and try different options to find something that might be acceptable instead.  If there can be no compromising, then you really have to ask yourself if you want to be in this relationship.

Offerings can be a wonderful part of your practice, and can be a great tool for deepening the relationships you have built within your path.  But we still need to make sure that all aspects of our practice fit with our lives (and our personal moral compass).  So don't be afraid to try new things, to negotiate your personal boundaries, and to ask what other things might be favorable options for an offering.

Giving without loosing yourself

 

 Lammas is around the corner, and it's a time of year when I always thing of generosity and bounty.  And sometimes, especially when you don't have a lot, it can be hard to feel like you are embodying that generous spirit.  Especially when we feel pushed (often by society) to 'give'...when we might not have enough ourselves.  Navigating the line between generosity and your personal boundaries can be quite tricky!

I think the first step is always to start with an honest evaluation of where you are.  Many of us feel like we are in a bad place, and obviously this is true for many of those people.  But sometimes, we feel like we are in a place of want, and then when we actually sit down and take a personal accounting, we realize there are a lot of ways in which we have more than we thought we did.

And this (taking a personal accounting) can be a great way to recognize where in your life you have some extra.  Maybe you like to cook in huge batches, and then get tired of it before you can eat it all...and perhaps you can invite friends over to share in your meals (not only helping them if they are struggling, but also saving you from having to eat the same thing for a week straight!).

But it also lets you become aware of any deficits.  To continue the previous example, maybe you have a little garden and you got in a bumper crop of tomatoes.  You talk it over with some friends and agree that they will drop off some other ingredients or bring side dishes, and you will make up a big batch of spaghetti or chili.  Everyone can enjoy it, people can bring some home, but everyone can contribute what they can to the meal as well.  

The important thing is to not fall into the trap of  "other people have it worse so I should always give to someone who is worse off than me".  This is where personal boundaries must be enforced.  If I honestly am struggling to pay bills and buy the necessity stuff, then I might not be in a place to give money to a homeless person.  Yes, they are absolutely worse off than me, but there are also a lot of people in the world worse off than me, and if I try to help them all, I will need help myself.

Instead, try to find the places where you can share a little.  Maybe that means finding things that you don't need anymore and donating them to shelters or outreach programs.  Maybe it means offering your time and labor to help in a community project.  Maybe you can connect people who are in a position to help with those who need it.

Even if you have nothing physical to give, you may be able to share information.  Help people in need find programs that will be able to help them.  Pass along good articles on ways to stretch resources or upcycle things.  When you find tips that work, save them and share them!

We tend to think of our harvest in a literal way.  It is the stuff we have (money, food, items...stuff).  But we are so much more than our stuff!  We have compassion, we have love, we have understanding.  Sometimes, what people need is simply to be treated like a person.  They want to talk about what they are going through and they want someone to listen.  They may not even want help (in the traditional sense), but might need a little compassion.  

And even though we are talking about non-physical stuff, you still need to remember your boundaries!  If you are already exhausted after taking care of your own life (you know:  job, family, self-care), then you may not have energy to give.  Or maybe you have time, but no emotional energy (or vice versa).  Sometimes navigating your boundaries means negotiating different ways to help.  Just remember that if you wear yourself out, you can't help anyone (especially yourself!)

Each and every one of us deserves to have enough.  And when you have enough, you can start sharing the extra (and that includes both stuff and non-stuff).  If we start thinking more like a community filled with individuals instead of just a bunch of people stuck in the same place together, it becomes easier to care about strangers...and when you care, you want to help!

So start by taking stock.  See where you stand, where you lack and where you have extra.  And talk to people!  Start with those you know.  See where your lacks and extras overlap.  And then reach even further out.  Think about what you have extra of and where that could help.  If more of us approached life like this, just imagine the amazing world we could create!

Finding your happiness

 Litha, or Summer solstice is associated with a lot of things, but one of them is happiness.  And I think many of us have become disconnected or disillusioned with the idea of happiness.  Perhaps life has just gotten in the way, and you feel like you are too busy to do things 'just for fun.'  Or maybe you enjoy things that other people don't understand, and so you keep trying to do things that other people tell you should be enjoyable, and you just don't find them that engaging. Whatever the reason, if you are finding that your life feels a bit flat and lacking in joy, maybe you need to spend some time figuring out what happened...and how to bring the happy back into your life!

I think the first step (and possibly the hardest) is to really think about your life.  Look at the stuff you do, and ask yourself if there is joy in your life.  Now, some people are blessed in that they find happiness in their work (in the stuff they do to pay bills....or other 'necessities' of your life, like being a parent or keeping your house tidy), but for many people these tasks are just stuff we have to do to get through the day.  It's not the end of the world if your work doesn't bring you happiness!

But, if your work isn't a source of joy, then you need to have things you can do in your spare time that would bring happiness into your life.  Often this means hobbies, and this is one of the places where we often first start to feel shame for liking the stuff we like.  I've always been a bit of an outlier with my peers, and in school it was pretty obvious I wasn't into the same stuff as the other kids...and they never failed to remind me of that fact!  Even as an adult, many of the things I love doing (like playing games or reading fantasy novels) are often looked down on by other adults.  

Here's the thing though...as long as you aren't hurting anyone (yourself included!), then no one else gets to police your joy!  Of course this is easier said than done, but sometimes simply recognizing the places where you feel both happiness and shame can help you start to break free from those judgemental feelings.

We are lucky to live in a modern world that is super connected (through the internet) and also to have so much information at our fingertips.  I can search for information...or a community...on virtually anything I might have interest in.  Maybe I am not ready to share the things that make me happy with the world at large, but I can find small corners of space where other people like the same things, and we can enjoy them together.  Back when I was in high school, this was a much more limited thing (even though it was still possible, if you dug deep enough!) and I can not even explain how freeing it is to be able to join social media groups that connect me with other people who share a joy that I have.

The other great thing about finding communities of like minded people is that not everyone is going to share your enjoyment of something (just as you won't enjoy everything that someone else suggests to you), and so having a space where you can gush about whatever makes you happy means that your enjoyment isn't being dampened by people who don't get it.  It's just so much better to have an audience who appreciates whatever new shiny thing you are excited about.

I think another important thing to keep in mind is that we aren't going to like everything we try...and that's okay.  It's perfectly fine to try something new, and not enjoy it...and then to stop doing it.  Maybe you have a friend who is really into a thing, and they keep asking you to try it with them, assuring you that you will love it.  But when you try it, you decide it's not for you.  Maybe you even feel a little guilty for not enjoying it as much as your friend, and you think about pretending you enjoy it just to spend time with them.  Most of the time, admitting it's just not your thing will end up being better for your friendship...because your friend can find other people who DO love the same thing, but the two of you can find something else that you both enjoy doing together.

 

It's also okay to enjoy things in a slightly different way than other people.  Maybe you don't want to play a particular game...but you really like watching other people play it.  Don't let anyone tell you that the way you enjoy a thing is wrong...if it makes you happy, then that is the important part!  In a similar thought, if there are modifications you have to make so that you can enjoy a thing...do them!  I don't particularly enjoy just sitting in the sun or swimming in the ocean...but I am quite happy searching the sand for shells, and that turns what would be a tedious beach day into something I can enjoy.

As we move through the sunny peak of our yearly cycle, take some time to consider how happy you are in your life.  And think about ways to tuck more joy into your regular schedule.  Because we can all use more happiness!

Helping troubled souls rest

 

Memorial day is a day to remember and honor those lost to wars, but as Pagans I feel there is an opportunity to care for these spirits after they are gone.  Not just to remember them, but to help them find their peace.  

 

War is a horrible thing, and of course fighting in them is traumatic.  Firstly, not everyone who fought...or died...in wars were volunteers, so there is room for a lot of conflicting emotions on the part of the soldiers.  And even if someone believed in the cause the war was fought on behalf of, the atrocities they saw and the actions they took might leave someone split and conflicted about their role in the war.

Now, there are a lot of perspectives on what happens to us after death.  Many people believe there are places we go, based on what we believe and our actions in life.  But many people also believe that the dead can be trapped, or lost, and never reach what should have been their final destination.  These are the people I am talking about in this post...souls who may be stuck, shackled by their actions or the traumatic nature of their death, unable to take their final rest in the manner that they should.

The good thing is that, if you believe that such souls exist, you also have a way to reach out to them and help them move on.  As every one of us is an individual, this will mean that the way in which you approach this task will be highly individual (not only for you, as the practitioner, but also for the person you are trying to help...different methods may be required in order to help different people).

 

I feel like the first step should always be some kind of divination...finding out who the person is that you are reaching out to.  You may have family members who have died in wars, and this might be a good place to start.  I don't feel like every person who dies in a war gets stuck like this, so the first step would be to determine if this particular person is...and divination is a great way to approach this.  You could also do some research on people who died in the war and work with others, who may not be directly related to you.

 

Of course you could also take a different approach and start with divination to find a soul who needs help.  In this case, the divination is less focused on whether or not they need help and instead focused on finding out who they were and what happened to them.  This information will form the basis of the work that you can do to help them move on.

 

 Now, not every lost soul will have the same level of coherence.  Some spirits will be able to communicate very clearly, will have a good grasp on who they were in life, what has happened to them, and even might be aware of the state of the world today.  Others might have lost a lot of themselves, and this process may be more about trying to help them remember who they were, and accept the fact that they are dead.

 

Once you have a decent idea of who you are working with and what their state is, you can start to figure out how to help them. Again, every spirit will be different, so one might only need to be reassured that their part in the war is over and that their job is done and they can move on.  Others may need to be updated on their family, or they may want to know how their actions (and the war they were in) influenced the world.

One thing to remember here is that our role isn't to judge, condemn or pardon these spirits.  We aren't evaluating how righteous or corrupt they are and sending them to where we think they belong.  We are simply trying to figure out what is holding them here, and helping them to let go of any lingering concerns and issues so they can go where they need to go.

While doing this work, it is also important to make sure you are keeping your protections up.  Especially when working with spirits who maybe don't align with our own moral compass, we don't want to risk that soul becoming fixated on us and hanging around when we don't want them to.  Keeping strong protections is always a good idea, when working with any spirit, and especially spirits that may wish to create hardship or chaos in our lives.

It won't always be possible to help every spirit, but we can reach out and do what we are able to.  We can be a light to the lost souls who are stuck and confused and afraid.  We can help diffuse the anger and hatred that lingers with some of them and encourage them to release their hold on whatever is keeping them tethered.  And helping these lost souls can also help us (and other people alive today) to release our own anger and resentment towards the actions of our ancestors and those who came before. 

Stepping away from the sexual

 

 Beltane is well known as a fertility festival, but it can also be seen as a celebration of pleasure.  And contrary to popular (media) opinion, pleasure and sensuality do not equal sex.  As a perfect example, when looking for a picture for this blog, I tried searching for sensuality as a tag...and got almost exclusively highly sexual images.  If you think about sensuality as something being pleasing to your senses, it gives you a whole lot of ways to engage with this Sabbat...even if you do not wish to have it be sexual.

I think this time of year is a great time to really tune into our senses and appreciate not only all the wondrous things that are going on in the world outside, but also to appreciate all the things in our regular life that bring joy to our senses.

In nature, we have just left the grayness of winter and spring is showing her colors.  I think because of the often dreary nature of winter, we are hungry for color and spring is more than happy to feed us.  Of course there are flowers blooming, but even the green grass feels brighter and more vibrant in spring.  We are starting to get new produce in season, and I always feel like I want to eat more vegetables in spring (as many aren't as available in winter).

If you are thinking of ways to honor Beltane, without things turning x-rated, why not consider a feast for your senses!  Gather foods that you enjoy, especially any that are seasonal.  Make yourself a special drink, something that delights your taste buds.  Play music that makes you want to dance.  Wear clothing that feels great (maybe you want luxurious or maybe you need to feel comfortable...whatever your body craves, embrace it!).  You can also have things out that are fun to touch (I love soft fuzzy things, but also smooth things and even some textures that are just neat to feel).  For scent you can put a simmer pot on or burn incense or have fresh flowers...or even use a scented spray.  Consider swapping up a few decorations, to give you something new to enjoy visually, or watching something visually stimulating..or just stepping out and watching nature.

You can do all of these things on your own, but you can also do them with a group.  Maybe your group decides that everyone is going to bring one thing that they adore for each sense, and then you can share your sensual delights with the group.  You could take turns, with each person sharing all of their offerings, or you could go by sense, where everyone shares something to taste and then everyone shares something to touch.  If people are comfortable with it, you could give each other massages or paint each other's nails or draw symbols on their skin.

This could be as formal and ritualistic as you like...or it could be super casual.  You could have a movie night with your friends, and have everyone come in their pj's (or other comfy clothes), and you could have wonderful snacks and light candles and make it a whole cozy night in.  You could do a big party, with dance music and drinks.  You could cast circle by holding hands or lighting a ring of candles.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex, or celebrating your sexuality as part of Beltane, but for many people sex is a private thing and for some it isn't something they care about at all, so having non-sexual options is always a good thing (you could very easily make these sense-centric activities kid friendly too!).  

One of the things I love about individual path spirituality is that we can make it what works for us.  So if you are down for a sexy Beltane, go for it!  But if you prefer to not have your Beltane be sex-focused, why not lean into your senses instead.  Make the day dedicated to doing what feels right, eating what tastes good, listening to things that make you feel amazing and touching things that you want to touch. 

Bring back the bunny

 

 I loved Easter as a kid.  My family wasn't really religious, but we always did the Easter bunny thing.  Easter involved crafting (dying eggs), and games (hunting for them), and candy (and toys so my basket wouldn't just be full of junk).  But it is one of those holidays that, if you don't have little kids, and you aren't Christian, you are kind of expected to just...stop...when you become an adult.

And there is no reason why we can't continue to celebrate in a way that brings us joy!  I definitely think of Easter (in the way that I've always practiced it) as a secular holiday.  Especially if you didn't have a highly religious childhood, Easter was all about the bunny!

There is something about dying eggs that really brings out my inner child.  I was one of those kids that didn't want to just dip an egg in a color and be done with it.  I wanted to draw secret symbols in white crayon and watch them appear.  I wanted to see how many layers of dye I could add and still have a pretty egg.  I loved that the dye changed my skin, and part of my goal in dying eggs was to have colorful hands when I was done!

And honestly, none of those things have changed.  I still love all of those things, and they still delight me.  As an adult, not only can I make sure I have all the fun stuff that I want to decorate my eggs with, but I understand better how to make the idea in my head come out in the egg in front of me (because that was always super disappointing, when you had this great idea, but couldn't make it happen).

I also think Easter is a great time to treat yourself to something sweet.  Now my tastes as an adult have definitely changed.  I remember absolutely loving Peeps (those bird shaped marshmallows, covered in more sugar, dyed in neon colors)...but when we got some when son was little, hubby and I both found we couldn't even eat them (son loved them though LOL).  But some of my childhood favorites remain favorites (Reese's peanut butter cups and Cadbury eggs!), and of course I've found new treats that I adore (Lindor truffles mmmm!). And if candy isn't your thing, why not buy some nice, seasonal fruit or a lovely baked good!

When it comes to egg hunts, I think there are all kinds of great ways to make these fun for adults!  One of my last Easters as a 'kid' (I was in college, but still 'living at home' so basically still a kid hehe) we had two egg hunts.  First, the adults hid eggs for the kids to find...including some 'harder' ones for me and my friend to find.  Then, the kids (and me and my friend) hid eggs for the adults to find.  It was actually pretty fun to not only look for well hidden eggs (the advanced version of what we did as kids), but also to hide them for adults (so we could look for those really cool/tricky hiding spots that would not be great for kid searchers).

You can also have a lot of fun by putting little prizes in those plastic eggs.  Most of the time, when I was little, I remember us decorating real eggs (for eating), but searching for plastic ones (which typically had small candies in them).  We used to hide real eggs, but lost one once, and it seemed safer to hide the fake ones (note:  if you do hide real eggs, always count them before hand so you know if you found them all!)

The great thing about doing adult egg searches is you can put adult prizes inside the eggs.  It would be really fun to have everyone bring a few eggs to hide, and put their own little gifts inside, and then the eggs get mixed up and hidden (or everyone has a turn at hiding their eggs, or everyone hides eggs in a different room or however you want to divide it up).  There are a lot of great little items that can be tucked into eggs (especially if you have witchy friends, you can put tumbled stones, bags of herbs, small charms....and of course candy).

Easter (or really any holiday you have fond memories of, especially as a child) can be a great time as an adult, especially if you alter it to fit who you are now.  If the religious aspects of it appeal to you, wonderful, incorporate those!  But, if you never really participated in those aspects (or if they are part of a religion you have since left behind and no longer bring you joy)...let them go.  Embrace the secular parts, the bits that you remember most fondly, and find new ways to explore and celebrate.  You are an adult...no one can tell you how you do a holiday!

How to create your own holiday

 

 I feel like Pagans (and witches) love holidays...more than jars or stones or even tarot decks (okay maybe not tarot decks...lol).  But so many witchy folk I know embrace holidays, and not only our own, but everyone's.  Holidays are a great way to celebrate whatever we might find important, and we love a good excuse to either gather together and have a party, or take some time out of our 'regular' life for something sacred.

Now, many Pagans have already had to accept the idea that the witchy holidays aren't steeped in history the way they may have been explained when we were first learning.  I, for one, very distinctly remember reading that the Sabbats were ancient rituals of observance, sometimes even being linked back to cave people times.  Now, a lot of us acknowledge that many of the holidays that formed the structure around which we built our practice are much more modern inventions (and very tied to the area in which they were created), and not the ancient, universal practices that we might have originally believed.

And there is nothing wrong with this!  The power of a holiday is in what it means to you, not necessarily where it's roots are.  I have no problem continuing to work with the Sabbat model, knowing full well that it is a modern thing.  In some ways, I feel more free to adapt it as I feel necessary than I might if I were trying to practice in a historically accurate way.

But sometimes we may feel like there is a thing we want to honor that doesn't have a good holiday.  Maybe you work with a deity that doesn't have a day or festival devoted to them.  Perhaps you have an important practice that you want to honor with it's own special day.  Or maybe you have a beloved ancestor (of blood or heart or path) that you feel deserves more recognition.  These are all great ideas for potential holidays!

So what makes up a holiday?  Well first, you want to sort out what you are celebrating...what is they core concept of your holiday?  Ideally this should be a single person, place or thing (and concepts are a thing, so you can totally make a holiday devoted to friendship!).  But that can often feel a bit too unfocused for a holiday, so think about making an intent statement for your holiday.  A single sentence that describes the 'true meaning' of the holiday to you.  For example, if you wanted to make a holiday to recognize your tarot practice, it might be something like, "a day to touch base with all my decks, tidying the space I keep them in and checking in to see if I need to reorganize or de-clutter."

Once you know basically what your holiday is going to be about, it's time for the nitty gritty (but also fun) stuff.  You need to figure out the details of your holiday!  Think about this like collecting correspondences that fit your theme.  

 

A good one to start with is the date:  when is your holiday celebrated?  This might be an exact date, or it could be a lunar date (like the first new moon of the year, or the full moon after my birthday).  For a holiday centered around a person, it might be their birthday (or death day if they are deceased), or an important day in their life.

Then, think about what you will do on this holiday.  This might be a main event kind of thing (maybe a shared meal or some kind of activity), but it can also include support activities (maybe you need to create things to use in the main event, or these may be smaller things you do as part of the bigger event).  

When thinking about things to do, think about not only what was important to the focus of your holiday (so if you are celebrating a person, it might be things they were passionate about), but it can also be things that remind you of your focus (more personal things, maybe memories you have related to it).

A great way to approach these activities is to think of your senses:  what sounds would fit (maybe there are songs or chants that are appropriate), what colors or decorations are connected to it (sight), what foods or drinks should be served (taste), is there an incense you want to burn or flowers to decorate with (scent), what physical things are associated with it (touch).  It's kind of like picking correspondences for a spell, you can think of building a holiday like building a ritual...that you do every year (or however often you want to celebrate it).

And finally, consider if this is going to be a personal (solitary) holiday or a shared one.  If you are doing something just for you, then once you figure out all the details, you are good to go.  But if you are planning a shared holiday, then it can be helpful to talk with others, especially the folks you think you will want to celebrate it with, to see how your ideas sound to them.  Sometimes, people will point out things that don't fit for them, and may be able to suggest an substitution that you like even better.

At the end of the day, it is YOUR created holiday, so you have the final decision about what fits and what doesn't.  But it is always nice to try to make things as inclusive as possible.  If, however, you find that someone just can't agree with one of your core concepts, then maybe suggest they create their own holiday that better fits them, and you go ahead and do yours the way you want.

Holidays are great fun, and creating one to fit a need you have can be an amazing experience.  You can end up with wonderful memories and an ongoing tradition that helps you pay homage to something that is important to you....and share those feelings with others!  It is a great way to personalize your practice, to build the type of celebrations into your year that you need.  Have fun with it, and you may be surprised at where it takes you!