Wednesday, June 19, 2019

A gathering of Solitaries


The Pagan world is constantly changing and evolving.  Twenty years ago, not only were the vast majority of book that were published on Paganism as a modern practice somewhat homogeneous (it was all neo-Wicca, fairly standard stuff), they were all pretty much geared towards group work.  You cast a circle with one person to call each quarter, one each for the lord and lady, and then a high priestess to officiate (plus whoever else was going to be present).  Many spells were geared towards groups, having roles for multiple people.  There was very little that was published that was aimed at solitary practitioners.

Today, there is a large body of work that focuses on a solitary practice.  And not only that, but the practices are specific and varied.  Talk to any two Pagans and you will probably find they have very different ways of doing things, even if they are both casting circles and working on a healing spell.

Life has, in many ways, become more busy as well.  The same amount of work no longer covers the bills, so people have to work longer and harder to make ends meet.  Many families can't afford to be single income, and even a two-income nuclear family isn't always viable.  Your online presence is also a factor for many people, and it has made it both easier and harder to connect as a group.

There are lots of challenges to meeting others to work or celebrate together, but there are many benefits as well.  The wonderful thing is that we have definitely grown beyond the idea that a coven is the only way for a group to meet.  That isn't to say that there aren't successful covens out there, or that many people don't find group work to be their primary Pagan experience.  But if you are one of the many people who prefer solitary work most of the time, there are other options for you.

One thing I love about group work is the ability to not only experience different ways of doing things, but to be able to blend together different paths and methods.  It isn't something that I would want to do all the time.  I am definitely a solitary person by preference, not just by circumstance.  My practice is familiar to me, and like a well loved blanket, it brings a sense of home and security that I can't find anywhere else.

But, working with others is like going out to a fancy new restaurant.  You try dishes that you may have never even heard of.  And sometimes it is this amazing experience, and you go home and try to figure out a way to make the recipe whenever you want, but other times it's just not to your taste.  Sometimes you find things that you know you will enjoy...in small doses and only after some time has passed, and that is just fine!

The thing that is important to remember is that just because you like being solitary doesn't mean you can't also like group work.  The two aren't mutually exclusive.  And you can like different things depending on whether you are working alone or working in a group.  You can also like different things depending on the group you are working with.

I have several groups here that I work with on a semi-regular basis.  One is further away, one is closer knit, and one is newer.  And I definitely have different comfort levels with each one.  The closest one, is with my best friends, which lends a level of familiarity.  I am less socially awkward with them, and even things that would normally be uncomfortable for me are okay...because there is a deep level of trust.  I know that no matter what happens, they have my back and they won't judge me.

The larger local group is people that I interact with frequently online, but may only see once or twice a year in person.  Our group work is also, by necessity, less personal in many ways.  We definitely all add our own flavor (we often take volunteers to call quarters and cast circle, so there may be many paths represented), and there is normally an opportunity to share...but it is a larger group (typically between 10-20 people), so there is less time for each person to talk in ritual.

The newer group, is not only newer to me, but I feel like the group itself, and many of the people in it, are newer to their path.  There is a freshness to this group, and a different kind of energy.  I like working with people who are new, that doesn't bother me at all, but I also feel like sometimes you want to make sure you are explaining things more, or starting out where they are (and not trying to get too complicated or deep).

I have never been a part of a group that does regular work together (by this I mean one that meets once a month or more frequently).  But some of the people I do ritual with I have known for years now, and have worked with many times over those years.  There is a familiarity to working with the same people all the time.  For me, this is much more comfortable than going to a brand new group (like attending a public festival and joining that ritual where I might not know anyone).

We all look for different things from ritual and from our practice, and we might look for different things from solitary and group work.  There is nothing wrong with having different parts of your practice speak to different parts of your Self.  You may love working on your own, but sometimes you just want to socialize with other people that understand the things that are important to you.  Or, you may be struggling with an issue and want to talk shop.  Perhaps you just had a breakthrough and want to share your success.  Or you feel like you need a little extra help with something you are working on.  All of these are good and valid reasons to work with a group!

So, whether you want to keep most of your practice solitary and just work with others a few times a year, or if you want to have a regular group that you work with, grouping up isn't something that follows strict rules.  Find the groups that speak to you, even if you are a solitary!  Seek out your people, in whatever form they may take.  And find the ways that let your group work enhance your practice, instead of feeling like you have to be a formal part of a group to work with others.

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