So, it's become sort of a tradition of mine, to broaden the definition of love as we approach Valentine's day. I have talked about self care before, but I specifically want to talk about mental health in regards to self care and Paganism.
Firstly though, I want to acknowledge that everyone goes through mental issues, whether they are small and temporary or huge and permanent. Whether they are diagnosed, self-diagnosed or unknown. Mental health, in many ways, is like physical health, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and maintaining your mental health is a journey. Your journey might include trained professionals, regular practice, friends, family, support groups or you may be traveling alone, but we all travel this road.
I have seen people say that you shouldn't practice if you aren't healthy, especially mentally, and this is one of the most harmful things that I think someone could say. I want to talk about this from two different sides, the spiritual and the magical.
On the spiritual side, I think that our faith and religious practices often are a great boon to our mental health. When we are struggling, we often turn to things outside ourselves for strength. Knowing that the universe (the Gods, Spirit, Divinity...however you recognize it) is rooting for you can see you through very dark times.
I also think that we often find a special community through our faith. We find others who share the same beliefs (either in part or in whole), and they understand us in ways that other people can't. We speak a common language, and when you need words of encouragement, they know what to say to help you.
Now, many Pagans faith practice includes things that might be hard to do if you are in a dark or hard place. And because we often practice alone (in the sense that we aren't going to a church and attending a service hosted by someone else, but are often in charge of our own rituals and practices), this can become a struggle where we feel like we are not being 'good' Pagans or that maybe we are letting our Gods down.
I personally feel that the Gods know when we are unable to do things versus when we are just being lazy and not wanting to put for the effort. I also think that making allowances and doing what we are able to do takes a special kind of strength, and this is something that is recognized. We may have to adjust our expectations, and find new ways of doing things, but we are not bad Pagans because we can't practice the way everyone else does (honestly there is no standard to be held up against, everyone's practice is what works for them, so you do you!)
On a magical side, there is some reasoning behind the concept that you shouldn't practice when you aren't well...however the flip side to that is sometimes the best time to practice is when you are in the thick of something. Also, if you are struggling with a chronic condition, you may judge your days in different shades, and 'functioning' may be one of your better days.
I personally find that, for me, when I am feeling particularly bad, giving myself something to do helps. I will almost always choose 'easy' things, stuff that is more light and simple, but also fun. Chanting is a big one for me, chanting is something I turn to when I am feeling poorly, and it helps a lot that I can pick chants that counteract what I am feeling! But also something simple like checking in with my altar, maybe moving some stuff around, picking a new backdrop for my computer..things that don't take a lot of effort, but have meaning. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a moment to sit and stare at the sky.
I also talk mostly about solitary practice, but if you work with a group or are attending a group function, and you have an issue that you are worried about or are struggling with, please mention it! Depending on how well you know the group, you might want to bring one of the organizers aside, or you might speak in more vague terms. It might even be as simple as asking if there is a quiet place where you can get a minute alone if necessary. Or asking if certain topics are going to be explored that you aren't comfortable with (many people struggle deeply with certain things, and some rituals might be problematic...knowing ahead of time so you can decide if you need to opt out can be very helpful).
Sometimes, we still treat mental health issues as if they aren't as valid as physical ones (and we still sometimes don't treat physical issues with as much care as they deserve), but I think this is a conversation that needs to happen. It is important for our Pagan spaces to be safe spaces, and this means for mental health as well as physical health. I think that, as Pagans, we have so many lovely tools for working with our mental health, both on our own and in groups, and it is important to respect the process that people are going through, your Self especially!
No one knows your mind and mental state as well as you do. Never let anyone shame you for feeling the way you do, or for doing things in a way that works for you. And as we celebrate love this Valentine's Day, remember to shine some of that love back at yourself, wherever you may be and however you may be feeling on any given day....you are worthy and you are loved!
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