Party with meaning!

Who doesn't love a good party?  Pretty much every group I've been  a part of, that does any kind of communal gathering, enjoys having a good time.  It's part of the reason why we gather.  And our Sabbats and celebrations are often a cause to gather, to have good food, to share company, to sing and dance, and to have a good time....pretty much a party!

And I'm all about getting my party on!  But I think we need to make sure that the meaning of what we are celebrating doesn't get lost.  One of the biggest parties around is Mardi Gras.  It's famous across the globe and people travel from all over to take part.  But I bet most people who join in the celebrations don't know what they are celebrating...they are just there for the party.

There are a few stereotypes about Pagans that are related to mindless partying.  In the early days (especially when talking about Wiccan covens), the rumor was it was all just an excuse to have an orgy.  With Heathen groups, it's that everything is all about getting drunk (and possibly playing with weapons).  With some of the earth-centric religions, some people think it's just an excuse to get high.

And I think all of those are really dangerous stereotypes.  I have no problem with sex, alcohol, or the drugs most commonly used for religious reasons, but if people think that our whole religion is based on using faith as a reason to be able to overindulge, that is a problem.  We are already fighting for legitimacy with people who don't want to accept what we do, and if they think it's all a smoke screen for socially unacceptable behavior, that just makes the struggle for acceptance that much harder.

But I also think it's dangerous on the inside.  If we start letting the party aspects of gatherings take over, and we loose the ritual aspect, we are cheating ourselves out of a deeper connection, both with ourselves and our faith.  It's like people who go to a religious service, but spend the whole time on their phone or daydreaming instead of taking part...why even go?

Historically speaking, a lot of festivals had a very party vibe, but they were partying with a purpose.  The night might start with a reminder of why the festival was taking place, and then people would actually start the celebrating.  I think this is a really good way to approach celebrations.

Having a clear line between the ritual part of an evening and the social part is also a nice way to handle things.  If you are having a gathering for a specific purpose, but also know that people will hang out and socialize afterwards, then making that boundary clear helps keep everyone in the right headspace.  I definitely prefer if drinking doesn't start until after the ritual (if the ritual involves drinking, that is fine, but don't be chugging down beers while waiting for ritual to start).

I also feel like if people get too deep into the party mindset, it can be hard to pull back out of that.  Joking, laughing and making irreverent comments is awesome when just hanging out, but not very appropriate for most rituals.  I don't feel like ritual needs to be super serious, but there is a weight to it that needs to be respected.  Being deliberately sarcastic can make the experience awkward for other people.

I find that making an announcement, about the start of ritual, is very helpful, as is having a transition activity.  We tend to smudge and bless people as they enter circle.  This not only helps everyone get in the right mindset, it also controls how people enter the circle.  It turns it from a mob moving to a procession.  Sometimes we will chant as we enter circle, which can help as well, especially when it's an easy chant to follow along, it gives people something to do and focus on while they wait on everyone to be in circle, so there isn't restlessness and a temptation to start chatting. 

Likewise, at the end of ritual, we normally make a clear statement that ritual is over and the feast and celebration is to begin.  Food is a great way to bridge the gap after ritual.  It gets everyone moving, gives them something to talk about (especially great if not everyone knows everyone else), and even allows for more shy people to ease into conversations (because they can be busy with the eating and just listen in for a bit without feeling out of place).

Normally, celebrations take off after everyone has eaten.  People are refreshed and ready to dive into conversations or break out the instruments and chant or dance.  Having shared food brings people together and often the conversations follow the theme of the ritual.  We will socialize, but there is that connection, remembering what the reason was for the gathering.

And I think that's the real important part.  You can have a wonderful party, you can relax and get wild, and still honor the root of the celebration.  Having that time for a more pointed and serious ritual at the start helps set the mood.  It flavors the rest of the gathering, and without effort people are drawn back to that theme. 

Many times, we gather because we are more solitary in our daily practices.  The coven structure isn't the predominant form of Paganism anymore, but we still crave to be with people who honor similar things.  We crave that connection, and through celebrations we can get together and enjoy both a beautiful moment of ritual and then the camaraderie of like-minded people.