Masks are a part of many magical practices, especially at this time of the year. We often talk about masks as taking on another face, stepping into another role, projecting a different part of ourselves, and all of those are variations on using the mask to hide what is underneath. We take an image of what we want to be seen and use that to cover up what we want to hide.
But this year, the necessity of mask wearing has shown us the flip side to wearing a mask...and that is protecting those around you from what's behind the mask. Of course we can look at this from a medical and scientific viewpoint, and the mask (when worn correctly) will keep our own germs from spreading to others, but we can also look at the other ways we wear masks and how we do it to protect those around us.
Our society pretends to value truth, but we often punish people for sharing it. And there are private, personal things that don't need to be out there for everyone to see. Sometimes, we put on masks to spare the people around us from seeing all of our internal struggles.
Think about the fairly benign question of, "How are you?" Now, this is such a simple question, but it's also a loaded question. Most of us have been conditioned to answer automatically, we say we're fine, no matter how we are feeling. But this can end up being like a poison, a wound that never sees fresh air and begins to fester. Sometimes we need to share our pain, so that it can be acknowledged and treated.
Like many things, there is a time and place for this. We don't dump our deepest hurts on the stranger we pass on the street, even when they ask how we are doing, because it's not appropriate. And likewise, sometimes we can feel that a good friend who is asking may not be able to handle what we have to say. It might be something that they are still struggling with themselves, or it may be that they are simply close to being overwhelmed. We mask away our problems until we find someone who is in a place to be able to help us.
In a similar vein, we often mask certain things away from children. When we are younger, we aren't as capable of understanding the deeper complexities of a situation. They latch onto the basic concept that something is wrong and that it is bad. They don't always understand that things will get better or that maybe work has to be done to change things. All they see is that things are either good or bad. And so we put on a mask, we put on a happy face, and we keep some of the struggles from them, so they don't get overwhelmed by their fears or sadness.
And sometimes we find we have to put on our masks and keep our true feelings hidden, because we value maintaining professional or social relationships. These kinds of things are always a balance between being true to yourself and not provoking people you might need to be around. If you think about a professional situation, you won't always be best friends with the people you have to work with. But, just because you don't care for someone on a personal level, doesn't mean you can't work side by side with them. They might have small habits or preferences that rub you the wrong way, but you know that if you bring them up, it will disturb your dynamic.
Especially when the person is in a position of power over you, keeping your mask on, hiding your true thoughts, can be the best way to survive the situation. We often think of this as a little white lie, of obscuring the truth. We are hiding, but we are hiding to maintain the peace instead of creating more drama.
The great thing about thinking of our masks in this way is that we always have the option of removing the mask. Even though we might be okay overlooking small things, if someone starts pushing or trying to abuse the situation, we aren't powerless. We can remove the mask and let them see who they are truly dealing with.
Whether we are using a mask to strengthen ourselves or protect others, putting on a mask lets us control how our interactions go. We can decide what masks we want to wear and for what reasons. And when it is safe, or when we decide it's necessary...we can remove them.
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