Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Quiet Contemplation


 Life is a series of ups and downs, with times of frantic energy and times of stillness.  We just got through the holiday season, which is often very busy.  Many people have additional stresses around this time of year, whether it is due to spending more time with family (who may not 'get' you), or due to money issues, or just trying to get to all the parties!  And after such a busy time, it is often quite soothing to take some time to just...be.


If you already have a meditation practice, or a journalling practice, this could mean taking some extra time to slow down and just contemplate where you are at, right now.  This is a much more passive type of practice though, so there is no need to set a particular focus, just set some time aside to sit and think.


I often feel like we have really lost something in our busy modern life.  There aren't as many moments of stillness or times to just sit and be with ourselves.  There is always something to do, some distraction to keep you busy or something that needs attended to.  And if you wait for quiet moments to occur naturally, you may be waiting quite a while!


Instead, it is useful to schedule some down time.  Mark it in your calendar, make a sign for your door and put your phone on silent (or better yet, put it in another room!), and give yourself permission to take some time to yourself to just think.


It can feel kind of uncomfortable, at first, when you sit down for your quiet time.  And unlike many forms of meditation, you aren't trying to focus your mind one one thing, or keep it blank.  You are actually encouraging your mind to wander down whatever thought trails it wants.  


It can be helpful to have some kind of starting point, and I definitely feel that "how am I, right now," is a great one.  It starts you where you are, but as you know, thoughts are tricky things, and you may find yourself following a thought trail that leads you quite far from your starting point.


It's also perfectly fine to set some boundaries before you start.  If there are things that stress you out when you think about them, and you need a break from that, then absolutely shift your thoughts when those things come up.  There is plenty of time to sit with those uncomfortable thoughts at another time, when you aren't trying to recover from the business of the holidays.


I definitely find that I crave moments of quiet contemplation as my life gets busier.  Especially if I'm spending a lot of time with family (and thus having to put on my 'family face' lol), I find that having some time to just be myself, no apologies and no censoring, can really help me find that inner core of 'me' and gets me ready to go back out and handle whatever needs handled.


I should also point out that it's perfectly fine if you want to daydream as part of your contemplation.  I think daydreams are such amazing ways for us to explore different ways of being.  Maybe you have a favorite book/movie/show and you want to imagine what it would be like if you were part of that world.  Or maybe you always  wondered what it would be like to live as an animal.  Let your mind play in whatever world it wants, especially if your 'real' world is something you feel you need a little bit of a break from.


And there is NOTHING wrong with needing a break from your life sometimes!  It doesn't mean you don't love your people or that you are depressed...in fact knowing that you are stressed and need a break, and then planning time for it and actually taking that break is a very healthy way to handle the tough bits of life without either breaking down or avoiding things.  Just like you might take a rest when you are doing something physically demanding, taking some time for yourself in contemplation allows your mind (and emotions!) to rest, and is often quite refreshing.


So, if you find yourself feeling extra frazzled after the holiday season is over, try giving yourself some time to sit and think.  Let your mind wander, and even play with some daydreaming.  Even a small amount of time can give you that break you need, and allow you to return to your life feeling refreshed!

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