At Samhain, we often share a meal, and many people set out a place for those who have passed. And while many people feel certain foods are traditional, and like to make them, we can also make foods that remind us of those who have gone before, as a way to honor and remember them.
Food is such an integral part of our lives, and is very strongly related to memory. I have so many food-related memories, and now when I eat certain foods I am reminded of people in my life. Some of those memories are from sharing food with people, but I also connect people to food because they taught me to make a certain dish. And I have a few recipes that were passed down in my family, so even though I never knew the person myself, I can keep their memory alive by cooking their recipes.
I love the idea that we can pass on food memories as well. If I cook a dish for a friend, and it's one I learned from my family, I can share my stories with them, and now they will have some of that memory to hold onto. It makes me realize how connected we all are, and even though we may not share a blood line, we can forge connections to other people's ancestors and share in the memories they have left behind.
I also think that food creates a legacy, even if you don't know the stories. It's a way for us to leave behind a little bit of ourselves, something that either we loved or we created, and people who knew us will be able to enjoy the same foods we loved after we are gone. It brings me comfort to think that my son will think of me when he eats certain dishes, and if he has kids, maybe they will eat dishes and pass their love of them on. Even once my name is forgotten, there will be that tie of food down through generations, and that is pretty nifty to me.
However, if you want to create more of a connection, it can be really lovely to create a meal of dishes that have emotional meaning to you, and to tell the stories about why you love these dishes with the other people eating with you. You also don't have to limit yourself to those who have passed on. By including the living, you create more connections between people, both here and gone. And you might be surprised at how sharing your memories around food can surprise others...sometimes the things that we find the most meaning in may be missed by other people, even if they were involved.
I love hearing about how my friends and family have been affected by my role in their life, and I think it's important that we tell other people how we feel while they are still here to hear it. But don't fret, you can still acknowledge other's impact in your life after the fact, and I find that taking the time to recognize how someone has influenced my life not only makes me grateful for those connections, but it reinforces in my brain the memories, keeping them alive in my heart.
And while this is something we may focus more on at Samhain, we needed restrict our adventures in food memories to just this time of year. This is a lovely way to remember anniversaries (either of someone's birth or death, or any other significant date), by cooking a meal dedicated to a particular memory. We can create memory feasts at any time that feels right!
And we don't even need other people to be present, if we want to have a private memory meal. Especially if you are missing someone who either has passed on or who doesn't live close to you. You can plan a meal that reminds you of the person you miss, and treat it as if you were sharing the meal with them. Speak (or think) about them as you prepare and/or eat the food.
Food is something we all share in common. Everyone eats, and by sharing meals we connect with each other in ways that linger. Whether we want to forge new memories (by sharing a feast with family or friends), remember those we've lost (and honor their memory through food) or feel connected to people who we don't get to see as often as we might like, food can be a powerful tool that lets us find our place in the world and share our memories with others.
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