A very common practice, among Pagans, is to work with multiple different deities. Whether we are working within a set pantheon or working with deities from several, we end up trying to manage a handful (or more!) relationships with different divinities. And this can bring up a whole host of questions.
Whether you are wondering how to set up an altar honoring more than one deity (or if you even should...), how to split your worship time, or if the deities you work with less frequently feel somehow slighted, there are a lot of factors to consider.
I think that we often have holdover preconceived notions of what 'worship' means...and what we do doesn't always fit within the bounds of that word anyways! When we hear the word worship, we think of a form of adoration, of loving something 'more' than all the other things. This way of understanding worship can lead to a host of problems, especially when you wish to work with multiple deities.
Though I tend to personally use the phrase "work with," my personal definition of worship falls more in the "want to honor and develop a relationship with," category. I don't think of my deities as 'better than' me (whatever that might mean), simply different. I view working with them as building up a relationship, and the quality of the relationship depends on what both sides put into it.
I also think of the different relationships I have with different deities kind of like I see the relationships I have with different people. I have a TON of different interactions with people, and depending on what category I put people in, that changes how I expect the relationship to go...and what I am willing to put into it or what I think I should be getting out of it.
Many Pagans have a primary (or patron) deity. This can often be thought of as your partner, the one person you chose to have the closest relationship to. They are your go-to deity, the one that you turn to most often, and the one you work with on the deepest levels. They also are often the one who requires the most work or pushes you the hardest. And yes, to continue with this metaphor, some people are polyamorous in their deity practice, and have multiple 'primary' deities that they devote themselves to.
After that comes the close friend level. These are the 'friends who are family' people in your life, the ones who you would do just about anything for, and the ones you can trust to celebrate your wins (without being jealous of you), and who are there for you when you are struggling (to lend a hand, an ear or a shoulder). These are the deities whom you work with multiple times throughout the year. They are ones you have made sacred space for, and you don't just work with them when you need something. You are comfortable with them, you don't have to hit the books and look up what they like and don't like or what things they might be able to best help you with.
Now here's where it starts to get a bit more muddy. There are deities we might work with for very specific purposes. Perhaps a healing deity that you prefer, but you (or those you care about) don't have any regular health issues, so it's a deity you only call on when something goes wrong (when someone falls ill or gets injured). Or maybe you want to call on a deity for help in finding a new job, and none of your regular deities quite fit. Think of these as situational friends, the ones you get along well with, but don't really hang with regularly. It might be a work buddy that you love joking with, but never call outside of the job, or it might be a parent of one of the other kids on your kid's sports team, someone who you see at practices and games and you cheer your kids on together, but you don't invite them to your house for dinner.
Now, many people find themselves drawn to a particular pantheon, and many of the deities of that pantheon will fall into the 'close friend' category for them. But even deities they don't work with regularly hold a special place in their practice, simply by being part of their preferred pantheon. I think of these as distant relatives. Not your favorite uncle who takes you fishing, but that Aunt that comes to all the family gatherings and pinches your cheek, gives you a piece of candy...and gets your name slightly wrong or can never remember how old you actually are. They are family, and you love them because of that...but you may not spend much time with them.
A sort of strange category that some Pagans might find themselves working with are the 'friend of a friend' deities. Having quite a few Pagan friends, and a very eclectic local group, I often find myself participating in rituals that call on or honor a specific deity that I might not have worked with before. This happens regularly when someone else is leading the ritual and they dedicate it to one of their deities. It's very much like when you are at a party and your buddy introduces you to their old college roommate. You don't know the person, but you make polite conversation regardless. Now, sometimes this can lead to becoming actual friends with them (and the deity becoming one who you get to know and work more with on your own), but often once the night (ritual) is over, you say your goodbyes and know that the only time you will ever see them is if your friend invites them to another party.
And finally there is the 'stranger on the street'. This is the rest of the deities that you might encounter out in the wild so to speak. So any deity you read about in a book, someone tells you about, you see a picture of or what not. You don't really work with them, but you know of their existence, and you might nod and smile if you pass them on the street. Maybe you have a dream where they send you a message, but you don't feel any call to work with them.
So what do all these different types of deities mean then? I find it helpful to think of them this way because it translates well in my brain to levels of interaction. The closer a relationship is (whether it is to a person or a deity), the more time and effort you are willing to put into it...and the more you get out of it. I spend way more time interacting with my husband than I do with some of my online friends. And my husband does more for me than they do. I still like my online friends, and I still want to send them uplifting messages when they are having a bad day, but I am unlikely to buy them an expensive gift 'just because'.
Now, the thing to remember is that this goes both ways. I can't ignore a person and then expect them to do me a huge favor out of the goodness of their heart. The less of a relationship you have built, the more you will be expected to 'pay upfront' for stuff. I can ask a good friend to stop by the store and pick me up a few things and drop them by the house, but if I ask a stranger on the street I can expect them to ask for money upfront! The same works with deities. The closer the relationship, the more likely they are to do stuff for you when you need, without expecting a big 'payout' first, and the less you have worked with them the more they may require a full ritual and offerings in order to lend a hand.
Ultimately, relationships are what you put into them, and if you work with multiple deities is it highly probably that you will have different levels of interactions with individual deities. Each of us has our own thresholds for how much interaction we crave and can handle. Some people might prefer to keep their circle small, working with a primary deity and a small handful of others, while other people might feel comfortable working with a whole lot more. You may find that deities will shift in their roles in your life, and a relationship might grow closer or more distant at different times. And if you feel overwhelmed with the work required to maintain your relationships, it might be time to evaluate which ones you can take a step back from. Remember, relationships are fluid and ever-changing, so adjustment is not only desirable, it is necessary!
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