Every time I ask my husband what he wants to do for (insert celebration here, especially birthdays), he always says he doesn't care because it's "just another day." And in the greater scheme of things, that's true. As adults, we see birthdays different than we did as a child. When we were younger, it was like the whole world shifted on that day. You were special, everything revolved around you. It even threw you off a little when parts of your day didn't change to suit your whims (like when you had school on your birthday...)
But the older we got, the less the world stopped on our birthday. Sure, we often still had parties, and people made a fuss, but regular life definitely still went on. Other than maybe getting a free desert with your dinner, nothing really changed in the world around you, especially with people that don't know you. And that makes a bit of the shiny wear off of the day.
After all, why make a big deal about this one day? It's not like we magically 'level up' on our birthday (though how cool would that be!) We don't suddenly become wiser or better, or even really older (at least not any older than we get on any other day).
Because it's not really about the day itself, but what it represents. Celebrating and recognizing your birthday is a nod to all you have done in the past year. It's like your own personal New Year. It's the perfect time to reflect back on how the previous year has gone, to set plans and goals for the coming year.
I also think it's important to give a moments thought to what we bring to the world. We are celebrating our birth and existence...our continued place in the universe. So what do we bring to the table? And I don't think it's just about what we can give, but literally how does our presence change things? What would the world be like without us in it? What would our friends and family's lives be like if we were gone.
Perhaps I'm starting to feel my age, or perhaps it's a recent brush with health issues that is making me think along these lines. But I think we often take ourselves for granted, and looking for what we provide, just by existing, is a powerful reminder of how far out the ripples go. And sometimes, we can't see what's there until we consider what it would be like if it weren't there.
My birthday was a few days ago (the 3rd), and I'm doing birthday reflections this year (and anniversary, since it's the same day lol). I am going to be pulling a few cards, to help me look at where I am right now, where I have come from and where I am going.
We don't take many opportunities to stop and appreciate our lives, and I think birthdays are a great time to do this. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, to just go through the motions and look up and realize that years have passed. If we aren't careful we'll loose track of time and so much will have slipped through our fingers. It's important to stop and take stock and just see how things are going.
I also feel that there is this tendency to just accept our current trajectory. It's easy to just keep doing what we've been doing, but if we do....guess what will happen? We like to put thoughts like this out of our head, because change is work and change requires admitting that what we are doing isn't working (or isn't working anymore).
Another part of acknowledging birthdays is accepting aging, something that can be hard to do. It's a scary thing to be reminded that we don't know how long we have, and that we don't have forever. We may try to cling to our youth and not make adjustments we really need to be making, to keep ourselves in good health.
I think part of our resistance in this area is the cultural pressure to be young and beautiful and perfect. And once we stop being all of those (and seriously no one is ever all of those.....even super models are photoshopped!), we start feeling useless. Taking time to really be honest with yourself about how the year has changed you helps maintain a realistic and healthy view of yourself. It also helps you make good changes, because as the years pass, our needs change. I can't do all of the things I could do when I was 20, and that's okay....just like it's okay for me to want to eat different foods or do different types of exercise now.
Even taking time to appreciate our purely physical selves can be an eye opener. We see ourselves in the mirror every day, so the changes may not be obvious to us, or we may think they are more severe than they actually are (if it is something we may be obsessing over, like gray hairs). Looking at a picture from your last birthday can make a neat little comparison project. Journaling about both what you thought had changed and what hadn't changed as much as you though can change your perspective. And always remember to list things you like as well as things you are upset about!
So, whether you prefer to keep your birthday low-key or party it up for your whole birth month, take some time to reflect on all that you are. Appreciate how you impact the world, and look back to see what you have accomplished over the previous year (and further if you like). See if there are things you need to adjust and decide how you want to live the next year. But most of all, recognize that even though it is technically 'just another day', it is special to you, and that gives it meaning.
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