Memorial day is a uniquely American holiday, but the spirit of the holiday is one that can reach people of every country and culture. Technically speaking, Memorial day honors the men and women who died while serving in the US military. It is a day to remember the soldiers who gave everything to their country, but it has also become a reminder of the costs of war.
But we live in complicated times, and war isn't always the obvious battles with guns. We speak of other wars, the war on drugs, the war on terror, or even the wars we fight inside ourselves. Those who fight to defend their homes and families aren't always wearing the uniforms of the military.
Now, I am in no way saying that our military shouldn't be remembered and honored. I grew up a military brat, and my family has lots of members that have served. My son is serving right now, in the Air Force. And I think that all the men and women who serve in the military deserve to be recognized and that their sacrifices and dedication should be remembered, especially those who gave their lives in service.
Butt I also feel like there are many other people who give all, in different ways, and especially if you aren't an American, it can be very moving to honor and remember the heroes who have died in order to give you the life you live today.
Memorial day is all about the dead (we have other times to remember those who are still fighting), and being associated with wars makes honoring the dead tricky for some people. No matter which side of the war you support (or if you support war at all), the dead still made the ultimate sacrifice.
What makes this even trickier, is sometimes they didn't have a choice in the matter. Whether they were a solider who was conscripted, an innocent victim or some sort of auxiliary figure (we often forget about the support staff, when we think of wars and soldiers), not everyone who fought on one side of a conflict were there of their own volition.
This is even more true when we talk about non-traditional wars. If we look at, for example, the war on drugs, most of the time the two sides that come to mind are doing drugs versus not doing drugs (the illegal kind). But currently many places in the world are in conflict over what should constitute as a legal drug, and how to handle the illegal ones (and the recovery of the people who succumbed). It is a complicated 'war' and there are many people who are suffering on both sides.
The reason I feel that making an effort to remember the people who have died in the various wars (both historical and ongoing) is that it helps us humanize even the people who have opposing stances to us. And by humanizing them, we keep a stronger hold on our own humanity. The moment we start thinking of the enemy as 'less-than-human', we start considering actions that would be abhorrent to us under regular situations...and we all know that wars tend to escalate, so once one side takes a strong action, the other side will respond with an even stronger one.
We have seen this kind of escalation spill over into our streets, seen discussions turn into arguments, which turn into protests which turn into mob-induced-brawls. The thing is, both sides (from their own point of view) want things to be 'better'...whatever that means to them. And when we stop thinking of the other side as people, we stop being willing to listen.
Not every conflict can be avoided. Sometimes people's views are absolute, they have no room for compromise. But unless we listen to what they are saying, unless we are willing to step up to that table and try to talk, try to see things from their side and offer suggestions as to how both sides can better get along, we will never reach any kind of peaceful resolution. Listening is always the first step (even if we are listening to determine if the other side is completely closed off).
We often say that those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. I think that part of studying history is seeing what our dead can teach us. And every dead person has a story to tell. Whether that story is one of hope or one of caution depends on the person, but you won't know unless you seek those stories out, and remember what caused their death. Keeping their memories alive is how we avoid sending more people towards those same deaths.
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