Party holidays

 

Holidays are often celebrations, but sometimes we can loose the purpose of the holiday in all the celebrating!  Mardis Gras is one that is a great example of this, but if you attend public Sabbat rituals (or other public Pagan gatherings), you may find that some of them are toeing this line of being nothing but a party holiday (kind of like how some colleges are considered 'party schools', where the focus is more on having a good time than getting an education).

Now there is nothing wrong with enjoying a good celebration, and often part of the purpose of holidays is to unwind and celebrate that life is good.  But I think that we may be missing that sense of realness that was present with some of our ancestors when they approached holidays.  If you think of the roots of many of the holidays, they were either designed to make sure the world continued to work properly (make sure the sun would rise, make sure the crops would grow, make sure the winter would end), or they were to honor a deity (in the very real sense of "we are showing our appreciation so you don't make bad stuff happen to us").

In a lot of ways, being in the age of reason has made our holidays more cerebral in ways.  We see them as symbolic acts, not very real ways of keeping life good.  And because they aren't as viscerally real to us, it is easy for us to not put as much weight into the ritual acts that make up the celebration of the holiday.

Let's circle back to Mardis Gras for a moment.  Many of the party accoutrements that we are familiar with today (masks, the green/gold/purple, indulgence) had specific meanings and were done as part of a larger ritual structure of holidays.  But, over time, as more people got drawn into the party (including people who are not a part of the religious celebration that Mardis Gras is rooted in), those ritual meanings have become lost, turning into nothing but 'traditional' flair that is used to set the party of Mardis Gras apart from other parties.

And while everyone has different standards for 'how much ritual is enough' or 'how much party is too much', there are lots of ways to lean into the direction you want, especially if you like your ritual more imbued with meaning.

One thing to mention here too is that, when planning a group celebration of any kind, it is important to make sure you are very clear about your intentions.  If you are throwing, for example a Yule gathering, and you just want it to be a chill time for everyone to hang out and socialize, that is perfectly fine!  But if you call it a Yule Sabbat gathering, that may imply to many people that there will be a ritual, and they may be thrown off if they show up and it's a low-key hang party.

Something I find great about a lot of Pagan gatherings is they are a good mix of ritual, meeting of the minds and partying.  It is often the main time when we can get together with other people who are into similar things, to talk shop and to work together.  We can see how other people do things, share our own ways, and just relax in the company of people who won't judge us for being who we are and doing what we do.

And if you prefer your holidays to be more ritual (or more party), you can often plan to be present for those parts, and then take your leave (or show up after) the parts you aren't as interested in.  This is another place where good communication is key, as knowing when the ritual will take place versus the socialization allows you to plan your time accordingly.  And if you prefer to not be present (or at least not active) for the ritual part, make sure that is okay with the rest of the group (while most of the groups I know would be okay with people coming for the social aspects, some may not be comfortable with it).

 

I think it's also worth pointing out, that you can shift your own internal dynamic and attend a celebration but stay more in tune with whichever aspect you are more aligned with.  If it is more of a party scene, there is nothing stopping you from doing a bit of research before hand, finding the symbolism in different parts of the celebration and having meaningful moments within the greater social scene.

 

On the flip side, I'd never suggest trying to turn a serious ritual into a rager, but if you aren't into going deep, you can take a mental step back and enjoy the ritual as time shared with fellow Pagans, embracing the community that shared experiences builds.  

 

It's important to mention here that just because your personal tastes lean a certain way, you shouldn't try to railroad everyone else into having the same experience as you.  If you prefer a more intellectual and ritualized celebration, you typically won't get that by lecturing people who just want to hang and have fun about the history of everything they are doing.

 

And it might mean that you need to find people who lean a bit more like you (or a larger group that has plenty of people of all inclinations, so you can share a celebration but everyone has plenty of people to interact with that are on the same wavelength).

 

Celebrations and holidays can be both deeply meaningful and a rocking good time.  Just because you want to honor the purpose of the holiday doesn't mean you can't party and vice versa.  Embracing the parts of the holiday you are drawn to honors your own personal inclinations, and that can be your truest way of celebrating the event.