Altering Archetypes

 As Pagans, we tend to be pretty familiar with archetypes.  We have them for...well everything LOL.  But sometimes, the archetypes we work with aren't in alignment with our own truth.  Or, they feel somewhat outdated, as if they were how previous generations interpreted an archetype and we are left with something that doesn't fit our modern understanding of things.

I've always had a bit of frustration with the male archetypes.  The female archetypes feel pretty well rounded:  maiden, mother and crone.  I feel like they speak to phases of life more than vocation (though of course mother is a sticking point for many people, myself included).  And while the basic trinity has been expanded or adapted a lot, it remains a core way of thinking for a lot of people.

I feel like the male trinity (warrior, father, sage) isn't nearly as solid and is much more outdated.  Specifically, I think that the role of Father has changed so much over the years as our family dynamic, interpersonal relationships and just way of thinking about masculinity has changed.

When we talk of the role of fatherhood, things that almost always come up are being a provider (putting food on the table, bringing home the paycheck, keeping a roof over everyone's heads), being a disciplinarian ('just wait till your father gets home!') and being able of doing all the hard labor stuff (yard work, car work, home repairs).  The thing that gets me about this is most of those things have nothing to do with being a father!  They are just bits of our gender roles that have latched them onto 'adult males' and just like many people think the goal of a woman's life is to be a mother, we have bundled all these traits onto being a father, when many of them aren't nearly as tied to the role of father as they might have been in other times.

There are many ways to think about the term archetype.  I tend to think of it as the 'perfect' ideal of a concept.  I always think of the chair example.  The archetype of a chair holds all the basic bits we think about that define something as a chair (typically that it has something you sit on and puts you up off the floor, and it's for one person).  When we talk about a chair, most people have a basic idea that comes into their mind, and even if the specific chair we are talking about doesn't really resemble the idea in our head, we still recognize the 'chairness' of the thing we are discussing (especially true for some modern interpretations of chairs that may break any or all of those rules...yet we still acknowledge them as a chair).

For some reason, when it comes to an archetype like fatherhood, we loose the ability to separate specific traits from the idea of fatherhood (as an archetype).  If you think about traditional family roles, the traits we link to fathers are ones that the father was expected to fulfill.  The problem is that we've changed how we view families, and now we have a much broader definition, and that also changed the roles that the father plays in the family.

I want to think a bit about the concept of mothering for a minute though.  Many people (Pagans especially, since we talk about the maiden/mother/crone trinity so often) have adapted their definition of mother to include other creative nurturing.  Being in the Mother phase doesn't necessarily mean you have actual children.  I think many people have also come to accept that being a literal mother doesn't mean you automatically are a nurturing person (or that you are naturally inclined to take care of all children you encounter)

And yet, for some reason, I feel like our adaptation of the archetype of Fatherhood is still lagging behind.  It's like a lot of people don't know how to break free from these old ideas, even though they may know quite a few people personally who break traditional roles of fatherhood and recognize them as amazing fathers!  

With Father's day just around the corner, I think it's important to spend some time thinking about what you think about the archetype of the father, and what it means to be a father.  Look at the fathers you know, both your own and other people's and consider what you feel makes them a father.  Twist it up in your head a bit and think about what the role of fatherhood is in people who don't have biological children (in the same light as how the Mother phase of life is seen for women).

And if you have fathers in your life (again, both your own and fathers you know), perhaps consider letting them know they are doing a good job, even if they aren't matching the traditional image of a father.  Especially around Father's day, when media and everything else is reinforcing those traditional values...recognize the other parts of the archetype that you think should be more strongly associated with fatherhood.  It's only through continual linking of the qualities we admire in fathers that we will change how people view the archetype!