When I think about the holiday season (which for me is pretty much Halloween through Valentines day...which is coincidentally the cold and dark part of the year), I think about community. I think about banding together with the people who live near us, the people we care most about, and the people who support us (family, friends and acquaintances).
The image that often comes to my mind is being tucked in a warm house, with people I like, eating good food and just enjoying each other's company. But I feel like this can be an outdated image, because many of the people I care about don't live near me. And even though the details of the image don't line up, I still feel that this time of year we really turn to the people who make our lives meaningful, the community that we feel we belong to.
Now community can mean a lot of things, and I definitely feel that locality is only one of them. Yes, I am part of my local community, in that I live in my town, shop at local stores and interact with people on the street. But I am also part of the Pagan community (as a whole entity), as well as specific Pagan communities that I interact with. I am also part of communities that bond over shared interests, shared life experiences and shared trauma.
All of these communities make me who I am, they influence my daily life, and when I think of being lonely (and the cold, dark parts of the year can emphasize any loneliness we might be feeling), I often think of reaching out virtually before I think of reaching out in person...and there is nothing wrong with that!
Don't get me wrong, I adore my local friends, and there are definitely places that I feel at home at here in my town, but due to busy lives and what not, meeting up in person isn't always possible. I definitely interact more with even local friends through digital means.
I also feel that we sometimes find our digital life (especially if we like to scroll on social media a lot...nope, totally 'not' guilty of that one....*snort) starts to feel toxic or heavy, it can be good to step out of the main stream and instead just connect with the people we do care about. I often see people saying they want to step away from socials, and while I think that can be a good thing (and of course only you know what is best for your own mental health!), I do think that too much isolation can also be detrimental to our mental health.
Winter weather can also effect our mental state, not only is it cold (which often drives people to spend more time indoors), but winter weather can also limit our desire to leave our home. Add in the reduced amount of daylight (which definitely effects some people more than others), and it's like we are setting ourselves up for moody times.
In order to counteract this seasonal slump, I think it's very important to lean into our communities, whether they are familial, local, friend, or online (or a combination of those!). Reach out when you are feeling a bit down, and if you have the emotional reserves, reach out to people you know who you think might need a bit of a boost. The thing about community is we are all part of it, and we all help to keep our communities healthy.
It's also a good way to trick your brain sometimes. I know that I might be feeling in a slump, and not motivated to talk (because I don't really like venting or dumping my issues on other people), but if I see a friend who is struggling, I want to do what I can to help them, and often that in turn helps me feel better. It's kind of funny how we are willing to do for other people things that we don't feel comfortable asking for help with ourselves.
So as they days grow darker, and the weather turns cold, and we find ourselves spending more time holed up inside, remember that you are part of many communities, and you can reach out to the ones that make you feel most connected! This can take many forms, from a physical meetup, to a video or phone call, to texting or messaging, or whatever you and your communities like to do. Embrace your people, and you will surely find that they embrace you back!
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