It's a very common phenomenon for us humans to glorify whatever is 'not' going on right now. In the winter, we miss summer, in the fall we miss the bright colors of spring. And often it's the extremes that really get people feeling nostalgic for 'any other season' (or experience, or situation). It's like we're programed to not be happy with what we have, but to look at it and only see what we don't have.
It's not necessarily a bad thing, to remember fondly other times and to appreciate that we know the cycle will turn around. But if we focus only on what we don't have, we miss out on what is going on right now.
However, if we can flip the script, and remember the opposite extreme, perhaps calling to mind the sweltering heat (and humidity!) of summer...when we are in the middle of a snowstorm, we can start to temper those longing feelings, and instead of being unhappy about the storm, we can look for what makes it special...and what it helps us appreciate.
Feeling longing is a great time to turn to gratitude. If we are longing for those warm spring nights, where everything is alive and growing, then we can take a moment to be grateful that we know the seasons will shift and spring will come and we will get to experience that. We can even be thankful for whatever is going on right now that makes us feel the longing.
This can also be applied to tasks we may not enjoy so much. If you are like me, you might struggle to work out. Often, tasks we don't like are a form of an extreme, and working out is often a peak of effort...way more than we use in a typical moment. But, intellectually we know that doing short bursts of activity like that can create a healthier body, and will make those moments of rest that much better.
You can even tap into this appreciation when the extreme is one you enjoy! If you are having a lovely vacation, with no work to stress over or normal adulting tasks that you find tedious to do, and perhaps you find your mind drifting back to work or beginning to dread the return to work (and thus detracting from your good time), you can take a moment to shift your perspective and instead be grateful for this moment and recognize how it will allow you to return to your normal tasks feeling rested and content.
One thing that may be helpful to practice is holding both a like and dislike for a particular experience in your mind at the same time. So maybe you have a social obligation (work thing, family thing, friend thing), and there are aspects of it you really don't care for (whether that is the people present, the topics that are to be discussed, or even the location and activities planned), but there are also parts you do enjoy (good food, specific people you enjoy being with, getting to dress up and go out).
By holding both the good and the bad in your mind at the same time, you temper the good with the bad. You can do the same for whatever you 'wish you could be doing instead', and maybe you'd rather stay in with a good book, but you realize that doing that will make your friend sad (which you don't want to happen) or that you'll miss out on office drama, or just a general feeling of missing out (because you never know if it will be THE party).
With both the good and the bad of where you are and where you wish you could be, you begin to see that nothing is cut and dry, nothing is just good or just bad. It may take you a little bit to figure out the benefits of the thing you aren't too fond of or the downside of the thing you wish you could do instead, but the more you practice it, the easier it comes.
And being able to bring all the factors to the table lets you not only realize that sometimes we put too much importance on one aspect (yes, it may be a work function, but it's also a paid trip and some good dining) and we often over play the alternative (sure, we could skip it and stay home and play video games, but then maybe we won't be as strongly considered for the promotion that we really want).
Life is complicated and messy and very few things are only good or bad. If we practice using these extremes in our life to show us a more balanced way of thinking about our experiences, we may find that these 'extremes' aren't really so extreme after all.
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