Litha, or Summer solstice is associated with a lot of things, but one of them is happiness. And I think many of us have become disconnected or disillusioned with the idea of happiness. Perhaps life has just gotten in the way, and you feel like you are too busy to do things 'just for fun.' Or maybe you enjoy things that other people don't understand, and so you keep trying to do things that other people tell you should be enjoyable, and you just don't find them that engaging. Whatever the reason, if you are finding that your life feels a bit flat and lacking in joy, maybe you need to spend some time figuring out what happened...and how to bring the happy back into your life!
I think the first step (and possibly the hardest) is to really think about your life. Look at the stuff you do, and ask yourself if there is joy in your life. Now, some people are blessed in that they find happiness in their work (in the stuff they do to pay bills....or other 'necessities' of your life, like being a parent or keeping your house tidy), but for many people these tasks are just stuff we have to do to get through the day. It's not the end of the world if your work doesn't bring you happiness!
But, if your work isn't a source of joy, then you need to have things you can do in your spare time that would bring happiness into your life. Often this means hobbies, and this is one of the places where we often first start to feel shame for liking the stuff we like. I've always been a bit of an outlier with my peers, and in school it was pretty obvious I wasn't into the same stuff as the other kids...and they never failed to remind me of that fact! Even as an adult, many of the things I love doing (like playing games or reading fantasy novels) are often looked down on by other adults.
Here's the thing though...as long as you aren't hurting anyone (yourself included!), then no one else gets to police your joy! Of course this is easier said than done, but sometimes simply recognizing the places where you feel both happiness and shame can help you start to break free from those judgemental feelings.
We are lucky to live in a modern world that is super connected (through the internet) and also to have so much information at our fingertips. I can search for information...or a community...on virtually anything I might have interest in. Maybe I am not ready to share the things that make me happy with the world at large, but I can find small corners of space where other people like the same things, and we can enjoy them together. Back when I was in high school, this was a much more limited thing (even though it was still possible, if you dug deep enough!) and I can not even explain how freeing it is to be able to join social media groups that connect me with other people who share a joy that I have.
The other great thing about finding communities of like minded people is that not everyone is going to share your enjoyment of something (just as you won't enjoy everything that someone else suggests to you), and so having a space where you can gush about whatever makes you happy means that your enjoyment isn't being dampened by people who don't get it. It's just so much better to have an audience who appreciates whatever new shiny thing you are excited about.
I think another important thing to keep in mind is that we aren't going to like everything we try...and that's okay. It's perfectly fine to try something new, and not enjoy it...and then to stop doing it. Maybe you have a friend who is really into a thing, and they keep asking you to try it with them, assuring you that you will love it. But when you try it, you decide it's not for you. Maybe you even feel a little guilty for not enjoying it as much as your friend, and you think about pretending you enjoy it just to spend time with them. Most of the time, admitting it's just not your thing will end up being better for your friendship...because your friend can find other people who DO love the same thing, but the two of you can find something else that you both enjoy doing together.
It's also okay to enjoy things in a slightly different way than other people. Maybe you don't want to play a particular game...but you really like watching other people play it. Don't let anyone tell you that the way you enjoy a thing is wrong...if it makes you happy, then that is the important part! In a similar thought, if there are modifications you have to make so that you can enjoy a thing...do them! I don't particularly enjoy just sitting in the sun or swimming in the ocean...but I am quite happy searching the sand for shells, and that turns what would be a tedious beach day into something I can enjoy.
As we move through the sunny peak of our yearly cycle, take some time to consider how happy you are in your life. And think about ways to tuck more joy into your regular schedule. Because we can all use more happiness!
No comments:
Post a Comment