Slowing down and turning inward

 

 One thing that has changed dramatically over the years is how much the seasons effect us.  Modern technology has allowed us to live as if the world were the same every day, year round.  Our ancestors didn't have that luxury.  When winter came, their whole life changed.  There were lots of things they could no longer do, and much like the natural world, they worked hard during the rest of the year so that they would have the resources to manage the winter, and as a result they had more free time in the winter months.

This time would often be spent connecting with each other, listening to stories (and learning from the past), and thinking deep thoughts.  This is something I feel we have lost so much with our modern 24/7/365 paced lifestyle.  We no longer have these fallow times where we can let go of our burdens and simply be.  We don't have time every year to contemplate our lives or the things that are important to us.  Sometimes we can't even find time to sit with our own thoughts for a few minutes.

But that kind of decompression time is necessary!  And introspection is a very healthy practice for everyone that I firmly believe we don't do enough anymore (especially with so many distractions constantly at our fingertips with phones and computers and on demand content of every kind).  It's a sad fact that many people can't stand to simply sit with themselves for even a few minutes.

And I know that we are all busy, and trying to cram as much as possible into every second because we know how precious time is.  But this is one of those things that seems like a 'waste of time' but actually gives us so much more!  

Taking time to rest, to dream, to think and to simply be has amazing restorative properties!  I often think of this kind of practice as a form of meditation, and so much has been written about the benefits of meditation, even if you can only squeeze in a few minutes here and there.  It's one of those practices that I feel that any attempts have benefits, and that no matter where you are in life, you can add in a bit of stillness and be better for it.

If we are really honest with ourselves, sometimes we do things just to fill the void.  I find myself scrolling social media or searching for something to watch ALL the time.  And I'm definitely not suggesting that we never do these things, as sometimes distraction or mindless entertainment is exactly what we need.  But we can also shave a little time off of these kind of things and give ourselves space to simply be.

One of my favorite times to start with are those little moments of waiting we have scattered throughout our day.  If we are stuck in a line, don't pull out your phone and start filling that time, but simply allow yourself to think.  If you are cooking dinner and waiting for a pot to boil, sit down, have a sip of water and let your mind wander.

I should note, I think it's important to really let yourself play with this time.  Do your best to not focus on your to-do list or worry about that thing that someone said to you. Let yourself walk down memory lane (but think about positive memories, or at the very least memories with lessons).  

Journaling can also be a great way to turn inward.  If you haven't tried stream of thought journaling, I highly recommend it!  You may find yourself thinking you don't have anything to write about, so start with that!  Grab a pen and just write "I don't know what to write about..." and then keep going.  Any thought that comes to your mind goes on your paper.  Spend a few minutes doing this, and then read back what you wrote (actually I love going back to old journals, reading entries, and then writing my current thoughts about what I had written before...it's a great way to dig deeper into things or just observe your own growth).

It's very easy, especially with holiday season looming ever closer, to find small delays frustrating and to be focused on how far behind we fell or our giant to-do list, but every moment you can stop the rush and the overthinking and just let yourself breathe and exist and think is a precious gift, and you may be surprised to realize how much reclaiming these small moments does to make you feel more refreshed and less weighed down by the hustle and bustle of modern life.

Our relationship with food

 

When we think of food holidays, Thanksgiving is often top of the list.  While it definitely has a questionable history, in the modern era it has become an excuse to stuff yourself on more food than we should probably be eating.  And (in the US at least), we have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food, not only when we think about the types of foods we eat but also the quantities.

Portion size is a huge problem in many parts of the world.  In some places, 'traditional' foods were designed for people who were going out to work hard labor all day, and so needed a hearty, calorie rich meal to see them through.  While of course many people still do labor intensive jobs, many of our modern jobs aren't as physical as they used to be (especially for anyone who has a desk job or works at the computer all day), and so our dietary needs can be quite different from our ancestors.

We also have access to a TON more processed foods, foods high in things we don't need a ton of:  salt, sugar and fat.  Yes, these things are highly craveable, addictive and enjoyable to eat, but they shouldn't be the bulk of our diet.  Sadly, for many people, these foods are also more affordable and available, and if you are limited in budget or depending on where you live (and how much time/money you have to spare just traveling to find better food options), you may be stuck with trying to do the best you can with whatever processed foods you can afford and manage to purchase.

The real kicker about healthy food options is most people know (at least in general) what foods are healthy and which ones aren't so good for us.  But we have been socialized to crave the less healthy foods, and simultaneously shamed for eating them (which leads to a lot of complicated emotions and often some negative self-talk, even if you are honestly doing your best to eat in a way that is good for you and within your budget).

One of the first things I think that we need to do, to repair our relationship with food, is to really look at which foods you like (and don't like)...and why.  I also feel that it is important to keep trying foods we may not be super excited about, as I have found there are quite a lot of foods that I enjoy when prepared a specific way, but don't really care for when prepared in other ways.  Many people haven't enjoyed foods at their prime or prepared in a way that really highlights their best qualities, and so they think they don't like things that they very well may love (if cooked the right way).

But of course we all have personal preferences as well, so there may be dishes that we will never enjoy.  And sometimes those foods are part of a 'traditional' spread, and so we feel more guilt when things like Thanksgiving roll around and we are torn with deciding whether or not to cook and eat the traditional foods (that we don't enjoy) or breaking from tradition and making foods we relish.  Personally, I'm never a fan of eating foods because we 'should' (with the very small exception of religiously significant bites, but even then, if it's a huge no for you, then it's a no!).

This is a bit more complicated when we talk about family, especially if you have a family that really gets into tradition and is hosting a family dinner where you know there will be dishes you don't care for (but you may be expected to eat because "Aunty worked really hard to cook this for us all, and you need to be polite and eat it and tell her how much you like it").  This is one place where I think we ALL need to do better.  We can politely decline (and bring a dish that we know we will enjoy eating if we also know there will be a lot of foods we won't wish to eat), and we can be understanding when someone prefers not to eat something we have made, no matter how hard we worked on it.

I also want to talk a little bit about something I've recently been learning about:  safe foods.  For some people, food is more than just a matter of not liking something.  Food distress can be intense, can stop people from eating certain foods and can lead to a lot of food related mental health issues.  Safe foods are ones that are quite literally that:  safe.  They are often foods that are processed (because they are made the same way, and thus you can expect the experience of eating them will be how you remembered it, as opposed to things like fruit which can vary highly depending on how ripe they are or things like that).  

Safe foods often remind me a bit of comfort foods (and a safe food can definitely be a comfort food!).  Comfort foods are ones that we turn to when we aren't feeling so good and just want to feel cozy and cared for.  Quite often they are either indulgent (like a guilty pleasure), or have strong memories attached to them (like the soup your mom always made for you when you were sick).  And we can give ourselves guilt about these foods too, even as we seek them out for comfort (especially if your comfort food is one that is not technically 'healthy').

We should try to have the best relationship with food that we can, and also try to not beat ourselves up for the ways in which our eating habits aren't ideal.  This may look like trying small bits of new foods, even if you are unsure, and it may also mean not letting yourself feel bad for turning to a safe or comfort food.  It means being mindful of how you eat, and how you think about the way you eat, and how society's views on how you eat impact your mental health.

While there are a million people out there who may try to tell you how and what you should be eating, at the end of the day, you are responsible for feeding yourself, and only you can know how the foods you eat truly effect you.  Part of being an adult means being honest with yourself about your actions, your motivations and your thoughts, and trying to improve (even just a tiny amount) when you can.

So keep that in mind this Thanksgiving, or at any other family dinner, feast or even meal you eat by yourself:  that you not only get to decide what you want to eat, but you must live with the consequences of those choices.  And you are the only one who can balance your needs, cravings and desires.  It may not be easy, but if you work on it, you may just find that your life is improved by your willingness to work on your relationship with food.

Leaf Magic

 Autumn is here in my part of the world, and that means gorgeous falling leaves!  Leaves are such a great resource for magic, and with the colors changing for fall, there are even more options available to us.  Not only do we have the variations in shape and species, but now we have color options as well...just one more variable to play with.

One of the first practices I remember that involves leaves was simply using them as a way to release things that no longer serve us.  So many trees loose their leaves each year, and that is a lesson we can learn, that no matter vital a thing may seem to us, we may find a time where we have to let them go and trust that when we need them again, we will have them.  But even for things that are clearly not a benefit to us, we can sometimes cling out of fear (the foe I know versus the unknown) or simply out of habit.  Find a leaf that feels like it fits what you want to release, and charge it with your intention (you can whisper to it, write on it, or just hold it between your hands and visualize transferring the thing you are releasing into it), and then hold it up and let the wind take it away.

For a bit more of a punch, you can burn leaves to really remove things from your life.  For this, I like writing one thing on each leaf, one thing that I want gone.  It can be really liberating feeling to sit down with a pile of leaves and just do a bit of a mental inventory, to see what in your life you would want free from.  Keep writing things until you run out of ideas, and then sett up a fire source.  Remember, dry leaves are both light and flammable so make sure you take the appropriate fire safety precautions, and then one by one burn your leaves. 

Leaves can also be used as messengers (along with any number of seeds that are designed to float on the wind, like maple seeds or dandelion puffs).  Speak your message into the leaf, and then think about who you want to send the message to.  The nifty thing about this is that fallen leaves can be thought of as being in a limbo state...they are dying, and thus can also cross the barrier between worlds, so you can use them to send messages to people who are no longer with us.  When you have the one you want to communicate with firmly in mind, release the leaf and let it carry it's message away.

 

I really enjoy utilizing the features of an object to enhance my magic, and one feature that leaves have is veins.  These veins can represent a lot of things.  You could use leaf veins to do family work, using them as a representation of your family tree.  We also have veins, so you can use them for healing work (especially anything to do with blood flow in your body, or our nervous system).  The veins fork and branch, so they can be used to help navigate situations where you have a lot of choices (consider writing different options on different parts of the leaf and then casting onto the leaf to see how different options will go for you).

 

Which leads us firmly into leaf divination.  You can divine with leaves in all sorts of ways.  You might like to gather leaves from a variety of plants around your home, and keep them in a bowl.  When you want some guidance, you can pick a leaf from your bowl, and then look to the plant it came from for your answers (which is also a great way to become more familiar with plants local to your area!).  You can toss a leaf in the air and interpret how it falls, or light part of it on fire and read the burn patterns, you can crumble a leaf and scatter the bits and read how they land, and you can always look for images and signs in the colors of the leaf.

 

Leaves can be a unique starting point for intentional art!  Especially with the wide range of colors, shapes and unique properties that make each leaf different.  You might gather a bunch of leaves and use them to create collage art.  Or you might search out individual leaves and trace art in the patterns of color found in each leaf.  You could trace leaves and use those shapes to be creative (turn the leaf outline into funny animals or whimsical houses).  If you apply paint directly to a leaf, you can use it as a stamp!  You can even pound the pigment from leaves onto paper or cloth (lay out wet leaves in a pattern on the paper or cloth you want to pigment, put another piece of paper over them to cover and use a hammer to transfer the pigment).  And with any of these art projects, you can set an intention as you work on them, write out an issue and art over it, or simply play with the process as a way to sink into sacred space.

 

 If you want to create meaningful fall decor, consider using leaves as a way to celebrate gratitude.  For this, you can use real leaves, fake leaves or make leaves out of paper or cloth (or anything you like!).  You can string them on garlands and hang them in your home, or keep/attach them on branches and arrange them like a bouquet.  On each leaf, write something you are grateful for.  This can be a great activity for a family night or friend gathering, letting everyone contribute and share the things they are grateful for.

And we can also tap into our childhood by playing with leaves!  Make a small pile and kick it about or jump into it.  Make patterns in fallen leaves, or use fallen leaves (and other natural bits) to make mandalas.  Use sticks and leaves to make little people and create scenes with them.  Have a leaf fight with a friend!  Just allow yourself to tap into your inner child and play!

There are a ton of things we can do with leaves, and so many ways to fold them into our practice.  And you may find, that by trying some of these activities, you think of new ways to work with leaves!  Embrace the season and see how you can use leaves in your practice.

Hollow Holidays

 

 There are a lot of holidays we celebrate, whether religious or not, that have become nothing more than an excuse to party (and maybe get time off work/school).  But treating holidays as nothing but reasons to party means we loose a lot of what made them important in the first place.  If we are going to celebrate something, celebrate it!  This doesn't mean we can't have a party or enjoy ourselves, but some of our time should be spent actually doing something relevant to the reason for the holiday.

Take Veteran's day, for example.  Many people observe Veteran's day in name only.  Maybe they fly a flag or visit graves (though that really is more of a Memorial day thing), and many places do offer discounts for Veterans (or a complimentary meal, which is lovely), but quite a lot of people don't do anything that either helps or remembers our Veterans.  And sadly we do this for a lot of other holidays as well.

There are a lot of ways we can celebrate with action instead of just window dressing.  It all starts with looking into the whys of a holiday.  What does it celebrate, why did it become a holiday, who does it honor?  And often looking into the whys uncovers a whole trove of historical activities we can do that tie into the roots of the celebration!  We don't have to follow historical traditions by rote either, we can totally update and modernize our observances, but knowing how people used to do things can help us continue to uphold those traditions, in our own way.

As witchy folks we have even more ways of taking action that supports a holiday.  We can include spells and rituals designed to create change in ways that align with the holiday we are celebrating.  We can share stories and raise awareness (because the more people who understand why our holidays are important, the more people there are that might also act in a way that affirms the meaning of the holiday).

Even something as simple as taking a moment to talk about why the holiday was started can create a meaningful moment.  We can tie in that meaning to our decorations and leisure activities too, much like if you look into the history of Halloween or Winter holiday decorations you can learn about the traditions and folklore that inspired them.  With added intention, our decorations can become more than just pretty things to hang about, they can build layers of understanding all around us.

 

I feel like some people think that honoring a holiday makes it less 'fun' or means they can't relax and have a good time.  And there may be holidays that are more solemn for you as you learn more about them.   But I don't think we loose anything by having less reasons to party (and honestly, if you want to have a party, just have a party, no need to tie it into an observance that may be very heart-wrenching for others).  Taking the time to honor both the good and the bad lets us appreciate the good times even more, because we have those darker moments to contrast them against.  

It's also okay to recognize that some holidays are mixed blessings.  They may not be so black and white, fun or serious, but they may have bits of both.  And we can build time for serious reflection and time for boisterous fun into our celebrations...if we understand the many facets that make up a holiday.  In fact, this can create some truly memorable holidays, by leaning into the complexity of the holiday instead of just picking one part of it and turning it into a caricature.

The more layers of meaning we invest in a celebration, the more nuanced our celebrations become.  We can enjoy them on multiple layers, and not only have a wonderful experience with family and/or friends, but also have meaningful times to reflect on different issues or moments in time.  We can turn what was once a hollow holiday into a time of true connection.

Holding paradoxes

 

 When you stop to think about it, Faith is all about embracing paradoxes.  Faith asks us to believe in things we can't see, and can't prove (by traditional means).  And often, Faith and Science don't exactly agree.  But the thing is that both Faith and Science can hold paradoxes within them, and sometimes it's okay if you have conflicting thoughts and beliefs.

One of the areas I see a lot of discussion about is in deciding what is 'real'.  Especially when it comes to things like magic or spirits, people can get very caught up in wanting to prove that things are 'real', the same way that we experience the mundane world around us.  And I think there is great value in looking for mundane explanations first, ruling out the expected before we turn to the unexpected.  But I also think that many spiritual concepts just can't be quantified and proven...and that's okay.

I often think about this when I think about divinity.  I believe that the divine (God, Gods, higher self, Nature...however you conceive of divinity) exists in a way that is beyond our human understanding.  We ask questions, because that is how we come to understand things, but we don't always get answers (or we might not get the concrete answers we want), and sometimes that makes people uneasy.  For me, I embrace the paradox of believing in something that can't be proven but can only be felt.  It's like trying to prove to someone else that you are feeling something.  You can explain it with a million words, but they just have to take your words as truth, because we have no way of actually sharing our experiences directly with someone else.

I do tend to think of myself as a very science minded person.  I love logic, and I like things to make sense, which can sometimes be very frustrating when it comes to spiritual matters.  There are a lot of things that I have had to learn to take on faith, to understand that they work because they work, and I may not ever know why they work or how they work, but that has to be enough.

For me, one thing that I always come back to is the idea that even if I'm wrong, even if the gods I pray to don't exist....my spiritual practice brings me peace and joy, and that has value.  The rituals that I observe give me a way to deal with things in my life that I don't have a lot of other options for dealing with, and that has observable benefits in my life.  So even if I'm completely deluding myself, the things I do are beneficial to my life, and so in one sense it doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, my path is still good for me.

And this is another place that paradox fits into my path.  I am constantly questioning my own practices and results.  I am looking for the ways in which I may be playing into my own desires.  Divination is a perfect example of this.  I read mostly for myself, and a lot of people (rightly) question whether your own internal bias will effect how you interpret cards for yourself.  I lean into this idea, and when I draw cards for myself, and I get a strong feeling about a meaning, I also ask myself if I am just seeing what I want to see in the cards (instead of seeing what is there).  I find that this helps me go deeper, because I question my own results, and through that process I uncover a lot about how I am thinking and feeling about a situation.

 

It is my personal opinion that questioning the things you believe in doesn't weaken your faith, but rather it makes it stronger.  I don't want to blindly follow, I want to question and poke at things and then make an informed choice.  And sometimes that means ignoring all the evidence to the contrary and taking that leap of faith, and sometimes it means adjusting my beliefs because the experiences I have don't line up with what I've been taught to believe. 

At the end of the day, my faith should serve my life.  I will always question, and I will always look for both the mundane and the fantastical explanations for things.  I will embrace the paradoxes of my faith, because I feel that strengthens my beliefs and gives me a stronger base on which to grow.  I will acknowledge the ways in which my path sometimes doesn't make logical sense...but still works for me.  And that is what is most important...that what you do works for you.