When we think of food holidays, Thanksgiving is often top of the list. While it definitely has a questionable history, in the modern era it has become an excuse to stuff yourself on more food than we should probably be eating. And (in the US at least), we have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food, not only when we think about the types of foods we eat but also the quantities.
Portion size is a huge problem in many parts of the world. In some places, 'traditional' foods were designed for people who were going out to work hard labor all day, and so needed a hearty, calorie rich meal to see them through. While of course many people still do labor intensive jobs, many of our modern jobs aren't as physical as they used to be (especially for anyone who has a desk job or works at the computer all day), and so our dietary needs can be quite different from our ancestors.
We also have access to a TON more processed foods, foods high in things we don't need a ton of: salt, sugar and fat. Yes, these things are highly craveable, addictive and enjoyable to eat, but they shouldn't be the bulk of our diet. Sadly, for many people, these foods are also more affordable and available, and if you are limited in budget or depending on where you live (and how much time/money you have to spare just traveling to find better food options), you may be stuck with trying to do the best you can with whatever processed foods you can afford and manage to purchase.
The real kicker about healthy food options is most people know (at least in general) what foods are healthy and which ones aren't so good for us. But we have been socialized to crave the less healthy foods, and simultaneously shamed for eating them (which leads to a lot of complicated emotions and often some negative self-talk, even if you are honestly doing your best to eat in a way that is good for you and within your budget).
One of the first things I think that we need to do, to repair our relationship with food, is to really look at which foods you like (and don't like)...and why. I also feel that it is important to keep trying foods we may not be super excited about, as I have found there are quite a lot of foods that I enjoy when prepared a specific way, but don't really care for when prepared in other ways. Many people haven't enjoyed foods at their prime or prepared in a way that really highlights their best qualities, and so they think they don't like things that they very well may love (if cooked the right way).
But of course we all have personal preferences as well, so there may be dishes that we will never enjoy. And sometimes those foods are part of a 'traditional' spread, and so we feel more guilt when things like Thanksgiving roll around and we are torn with deciding whether or not to cook and eat the traditional foods (that we don't enjoy) or breaking from tradition and making foods we relish. Personally, I'm never a fan of eating foods because we 'should' (with the very small exception of religiously significant bites, but even then, if it's a huge no for you, then it's a no!).
This is a bit more complicated when we talk about family, especially if you have a family that really gets into tradition and is hosting a family dinner where you know there will be dishes you don't care for (but you may be expected to eat because "Aunty worked really hard to cook this for us all, and you need to be polite and eat it and tell her how much you like it"). This is one place where I think we ALL need to do better. We can politely decline (and bring a dish that we know we will enjoy eating if we also know there will be a lot of foods we won't wish to eat), and we can be understanding when someone prefers not to eat something we have made, no matter how hard we worked on it.
I also want to talk a little bit about something I've recently been learning about: safe foods. For some people, food is more than just a matter of not liking something. Food distress can be intense, can stop people from eating certain foods and can lead to a lot of food related mental health issues. Safe foods are ones that are quite literally that: safe. They are often foods that are processed (because they are made the same way, and thus you can expect the experience of eating them will be how you remembered it, as opposed to things like fruit which can vary highly depending on how ripe they are or things like that).
Safe foods often remind me a bit of comfort foods (and a safe food can definitely be a comfort food!). Comfort foods are ones that we turn to when we aren't feeling so good and just want to feel cozy and cared for. Quite often they are either indulgent (like a guilty pleasure), or have strong memories attached to them (like the soup your mom always made for you when you were sick). And we can give ourselves guilt about these foods too, even as we seek them out for comfort (especially if your comfort food is one that is not technically 'healthy').
We should try to have the best relationship with food that we can, and also try to not beat ourselves up for the ways in which our eating habits aren't ideal. This may look like trying small bits of new foods, even if you are unsure, and it may also mean not letting yourself feel bad for turning to a safe or comfort food. It means being mindful of how you eat, and how you think about the way you eat, and how society's views on how you eat impact your mental health.
While there are a million people out there who may try to tell you how and what you should be eating, at the end of the day, you are responsible for feeding yourself, and only you can know how the foods you eat truly effect you. Part of being an adult means being honest with yourself about your actions, your motivations and your thoughts, and trying to improve (even just a tiny amount) when you can.
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