Never Forget

"We will never forget," is a phrase that gets used a lot, both within the Pagan community and without.  Anytime a big tragedy strikes, you will see the words "Never forget" on pictures, calling us to honor and remember those that have lost their lives.  We say we will "Never forget" in regards to the witch trials or other times and places in history when people were killed and tortured out of fear, in the name of witchcraft.  We say we will "Never Forget" you, when we mourn those who are lost to us, no matter how they died.

And yet, we do forget.  It is a natural process of time.  The further back you go, the harder it is to remember.  So much time has passed, and as we get further removed from a situation the emotions soften.  We don't remember the horrors in technocolor gory detail, not the same at all as someone who is living through it.  As generations past, the stories that get told loose something in the details.

Part of this is that so many stories are told by the winners, who will always try to downplay the atrocities that were committed.  Sometimes it is because the survivors are still struggling with what they went through and aren't ready to talk about it, or they don't want to pass that trauma on to others.  And sometimes, there is no one left to tell the stories, and we, in the present, can only wonder what actually happened.

But we have ways to dig into the past, to fill in the blanks and to help rewrite the books that have been spreading lies.  Sometimes we are aware of the greater truths, but we teach softer stories to our children because we don't want to burden them.

Truth should not be a burden, and it is possible to tell true stories and still keep them appropriate for younger audiences.  There are hundreds of teaching stories, around the world in every culture, that use symbols to tell stories in ways little minds can grasp. 

The power in keeping the truth alive comes not only in remembering and honoring those who were lost, but also in keeping the lessons alive.  We can look at the horrible things that happened, and all the signs and steps along the way that led up to these pivotal moments in history, and we can see what to avoid when we are faced with those same choices.

Uncovering the truth isn't always easy.  Sometimes it means doing a lot of research and figuring out what information is accurate by finding records that agree with each other.  Sometimes it means taking the time to find people who have heard the stories or grew up in different times, and really listening to what they have to say.

Part of finding the truth is also learning to let go of the things we expected to be true.  The past isn't some romantic vision, there are good parts but there are also lots of ugly parts.  The same is true about our current times!  For every time and place in the world, there will always be some good and some bad, and you have to be willing to see both in order to get a complete picture of what is going on.

Some of the trouble we get into, with the way we recount history, is that we want to only show one side of the picture.  If we think it was a good time, we only want to share the good, and if it was a bad time we only want to share the bad.  Some people act as if by showing the good in the bad or the bad in the good we are somehow diminishing the overarching themes.

But if we remember the yin yang symbol, we know that all things have both, and being aware of the small porting that doesn't match doesn't invalidate the rest of the experience.  In fact, I think that finding those opposing stories sometimes highlights the horror or the beauty in a memory. 

Acknowledging that bit of the opposite is often a way of honoring the human parts of ourselves.  We recognize that good people can make mistakes and horrible people can have redeeming qualities.  But just as we wouldn't stop loving our parents because they made a bad choice or had a bad habit, we shouldn't forgive people who do atrocities just because they love kittens or took care of an elderly neighbor.

I feel it is our responsibility, as human beings, to be able to remember what has happened, to be able to tell all of the details, to share both sides of the story, and to still be able to see the big picture.  We need to stop using these tiny exemptions as a way to invalidate a whole big thing.  We need to look for ways in which we may be starting to walk the same path as we have, in times past, and decided, with full knowledge, which way is the better way to go.

And we need to remember those who came before us, not as shining paragons of all that is good or horror stories of all that is bad, but as real people, with both flaws and gifts, with things they did well and things they did poorly.  We can look at other people and see ourselves reflected in them, and accept all that we see.

We should never forget, because there is so much value in remembering.  We should never forget because there is no reason to keep making the same mistakes.  We should never forget because it was hard to hold those memories.  And we should never forget because the past is what makes us who we are today.