Be curious, like the fool

 A point brought up in one of the newsletters I read this past week was that success, in the current era, is brought about by being curious, by trying new things.  Of course, as a species this is what has us evolving, what has us moving forward instead of dying out.  But as a culture, for a long time being 'successful' in life was all about fitting in, about doing what your parents had done and what their parents had done before them.  Change came about slow, and it wasn't always rewarded.

If you look back at history, we have vacillated between times of great change and times of stability.  Both have their values.  If we embraced nothing but change, we wouldn't stick with any one thing enough to see if it had value, we would just constantly be swapping to the next new thing, even if it wasn't actually better.  We also wouldn't have masters, people who are so good at something because they have done it a million times.

But if we never tried new things, we would be stuck, and the problems we had would never be solved.  It's like the old saying goes, if you do things the same way, you will get the same results.  If we want new results, we have to try new things.

The balance comes in trying a bunch of new stuff, then picking the ones that look the most promising and running with them for a while.  And once things start to feel stuck again, then we try a bunch of new things.

I'm actually excited to be in a time of newness.  I think there is a lot in our world right now that is broken and stuck and that we need to shake things up and find new ways.  Like with most change, this will bring a time of discomfort.  New stuff is scary and it feels weird until it gets broken in and becomes familiar.

The best way to overcome this is to be intensely curious about what is going on.  If something is new to you, that means by it's very definition, that you don't know much about it.  Instead of closing your eyes and plugging your ears and thinking about how the darkness and the unknown is scary and building up all these horrible images of what could be....go out and see for yourself.  Wonder about what could be, ask questions, and find out what's actually going on.

This is a bit of scientific method here.  You have to try stuff, and see what happens....you have to observe the different outcomes, write down what you have experienced and look for the patterns.  There will be issues along the way, like I said earlier, you don't get good at something without making a bunch of mistakes.  But you have to do the thing to make the mistakes to get better and refine what you are doing.  You literally have to do it wrong a bunch of times to figure out what the right way is.

I feel we are in the 'doing it wrong' part in a lot of areas in life.  And many people are trying to pull back.  They are pointing at the things we have tried and going 'look, this new thing we are trying is crazy, look at how badly it turned out, let's just go back to doing what we have always done'.  But what they refuse to see is that they weren't even giving the new thing a proper go.  They went through the motions, but the whole time they were sure it was going to go poorly, they were resisting it all the way, and thus of course it failed.  And they were (and continue to) ignore all the ways in which the old way was broken (often because it worked for them, and they just chose to believe that everyone who said it wasn't working was mistaken).

Luckily for us (as both a species and a society), change is like a pile of sand.  You keep putting 'one more grain' on top, and eventually it just can't handle the weight and starts spilling down.  Time marches on, and we keep seeing these things happen that are just 'one more' instance of a stuck system...and eventually the whole thing will explode!

The best way to be able to navigate the changes is to start familiarizing yourself with what is coming.  If I know I am taking a trip to a foreign country, where they speak a whole different language, I have a few options.  I can ignore the language differences, hoping that I can find people who speak my language or trusting that I can point and grunt my way to understanding.  Or, I can start learning phrases and words that I know I will help me out.  Even a few phrases can make a huge difference, and when the time for the trip comes, the person who has made an effort to learn a little will find it much easier to get around than the person who refused to consider the language barrier.

Learning a language isn't easy, and you will make mistakes.  You will mess up your words, and end up saying something horribly embarrassing at least once, but people who see you trying will normally be happy to help you (and correct you!) and rarely get mad if you are honestly trying.  And this same thing happens when you are giving a proper effort to explore any new territory...the people there are infinitely more likely to be helpful and forgiving if you are open and earnest instead of simply trying to prove to them that the way YOU do things is right (and thus they are obviously wrong).

We often think of the fool as being a simpleton, as not being aware of what is going on around them.  But historically a fool (or jester) was the one who had a firm grasp on the political situation, and who was often the only one who could navigate the political waters and speak the truth (even if they did it in a way that appeared humorous).

A fool also has the ability to mock themselves, to see their own flaws (or strengths) in an inverted way.  They can twist things about and challenge their own viewpoint....and even if they end up sticking with their perspective, they have seen the world as different, for a moment, and that lets them better understand how other people might see things.

Change is coming, it is the one constant, and I firmly believe we are poised on the precipice of big changes.  The more we start exploring new concepts with curiosity instead of closed minds and fear, the better we will face these changes, and the less upset our lives will be as things progress.  Evolution and change are a part of life, the choice is adapt or be replaced....the choice is yours.

Breaking free from our shell

 If there is one thing that is constant in life it is change, and change often comes as a result of growth.  Part of the growing process is moving out of where we are comfortable, it is leaving our safe haven behind and taking chances.  It might seem traumatic or scary, and there is often risk involved, but it is not only a necessary part of life, but also a very rewarding one.

There are many types of shells we might find ourselves in.  We build up barriers when we are vulnerable.  Sometimes this is because of trauma or to help protect ourselves from an actively dangerous situation, a sort of bunkering down. When the hazard has passed, we may find it more difficult that we thought to leave our safe place behind!

 

But other times, we build these walls so that we can expose very new and vulnerable parts of ourselves.  This is a gradual process, and at first we may not be ready to expose these bits to the word, and so we let them out, a little at a time, inside our own minds, where we can adjust to the new parts.  Even once we are comfortable in privacy, we may feel concern about showing these new developments to others.  We worry about what they will think about us, or if they will fight back, trying to make us return to who we were before.

The thing about a shell is that it is not only a barrier of protection, it is also a restriction.  You may feel (and be) safe inside it's walls, but you are limited in what you can do.  And sometimes this is worth it.  Take the recent lockdowns.  Many people chose to stay home, to keep themselves and the others in their community safe.  But as we start to see vaccines becoming available, we will be able to crack our 'shell' and start being more interactive again.  

And yet, we can cling to our small, safe world.  Looking out beyond our door, we may worry about how safe things actually are.  It is also a very common phenomenon that we have grown attached to our space, and the outside world that used to feel normal is now somewhat ominous.  Our perceptions have warped, and it can be hard to convince our minds that what used to be dangerous isn't any longer.

The thing with shells is that we don't have to smash them all to bits all at once.  We can poke a little hole, and peek outside and take the measure of the world.  Just because we 'can' go outside, doesn't mean we need to fly across the world or start attending huge parties.  We can dip our toes in, and start small.  We can limit our exposure to the space outside our shell to small forays, and when we start to feel uncomfortable, we can return to where we feel safe.

Sometimes, we may think we aren't ready, and the temptation is to remain inside our shell much longer than we need to.  We may start to feel constricted by our shell, like the walls are closing in on us.  But we still resist going outside, because we feel like however bad it is inside, it's worse outside.  This is another reason to take small steps outside, because it gives us a chance to test the waters.  We can go out for a little bit, and do something small, and then come back inside.  What is important is to honestly consider how we felt about the whole thing.  This is something we may want to do after a bit of time has passed, because it is very easy to fool ourselves while we are in an uncomfortable situation, but once we have had time to settle back in, we may look back and realize it wasn't so bad.

The thing about breaking free from our shells is that it is a matter of acclimatization.  It's like easing your way into a tub of cold water.  The first time you put your foot it, it feels freezing!  But if you keep dipping that toe in, every now and again putting it in a bit further, before you know it you will be sitting in the tub and you will feel fine.

Another big hurdle can be when you don't realize you are in a shell at all!  Sometimes, when we are thinking of a new project or wanting to change something about ourselves, we find ourselves shying away from actions that would actually bring the change into being.  We may tell ourselves it's not the right time, or that no one would be interested, or that it's too hard.  And we may not even realize how often we build up these little walls, that become a complete shell...because we refuse to see them.  But suddenly we turn around and it's been a year since we had that idea, and we keep shoving it down and not working on it.

The first thing you need to do, if you think you have an invisible shell, is look for signs of it.  This may mean actually writing down your ideas (and goals).  You will want to make sure you date things as well, because it's very easy to refuse to accept how much time has passed if you don't have a record of it.  It's like goal setting, you don't want to leave your goals open ended, because it's too easy to never get around to them (building up those walls!). 

Once you realize you have a shell built up, you can start working on finding it's dimensions.  Knowing exactly what is holding you back gives you a way to start dismantling it.  You will want to list all of the things that are stopping you from changing.  Start with a single list, but then it can be helpful to split the list into two categories:  one for things you can do stuff about, and one for stuff you can't.  You can take the list of things you can do stuff about and use it as a blueprint for a plan to move forward.  As for the other list, most often it is shadow work, things that either are groundless fears you can work through or they are worries about things that might not even happen (and building a contingency plan can help you move past them).

Shells can be helpful, they can keep us safe, but they also keep us locked in place.  When we want to grow or move forward, we need to be able to break free of our shells, but in a safe way, so we aren't setting ourselves up for failure.  Poke a hole, take a peek outside, and see if it's time to start making your way out into the world.  You may be surprised at what you find...

Alcohol in ritual

Drinking and magic are kind of a potent combination.  There are many reasons why someone might want to drink in combination with ritual work....and equally many reasons why people might avoid it.  As with many things, it is more a matter of making an informed choice, doing what is best (and healthiest) for you, and respecting boundaries than it is about ultimate right or wrong.

First, let me say that I firmly believe there is NO ritual (or other magical work) that requires alcohol.  There are many paths to every goal, and while some may involve imbibing, there is always another way.  I will also say, right from the start, that your reasons for choosing to drink (or not to drink) are absolutely your own.  You don't owe your reasoning to anyone, and if alcohol is a part of a ritual, everyone should be informed and no one should be pressured in any way to participate.

This can be a tricky thing to manage in group work.  Some people are quite fine passing the glass and being around people who are drinking, while others may need to avoid situations with alcohol entirely.  There is absolutely no shame in knowing that you would be tempted and just staying away.  On the other hand, just because you don't (or can't) drink doesn't mean you can demand everyone else not drink (again, it is completely your right to choose not to attend if a ritual structure doesn't work for you).  It is up to the people hosting the ritual to determine (and inform everyone invited) whether alcohol will be a part of the ritual, allowed or forbidden.

Like with most things, alcohol can become a crutch, and this is something that I feel most practitioners would prefer to avoid.  One of the common reasons I've heard given for why to include alcohol in ritual use is that it lowers inhibitions and opens doors (by putting you in an altered state).  This can lead to interesting experiences and connections that might be harder to get to without the alcohol...I've often heard it likened to a short cut.

Now, this makes it sound a bit like cutting corners, like taking the easy way.  But sometimes, when you are really struggling with something, using tools to make things easier for a bit can be a big help.  Perhaps you can think of it more like training wheels..it's a guide to help get you on your way, so that you can do things on your own.  The danger comes in becoming reliant upon it, so that you can no longer function without it.  Then the tool becomes a crutch, and you are crippling yourself.

Alcohol can also be a ritual tool in the sense that it is something we use to differentiate ritual space from non-ritual space.  Many faiths consider alcohol as something that is favored by the gods, and specific drinks may be sacred to this deity or that deity.  These are things that are often left as offerings, or drank 'in their name', as a way to honor a deity you are working with (or call them into you, if you are invoking).  This effect can be heightened by reserving these specific drinks for ritual purposes...even if you drink other things socially at other times.  

But, we also often use (especially group) rituals as times of celebration, and alcohol has a strong link to celebration.  Here, it is very helpful to remember that, at least during the actual ritual, it is best to stay this side of actual drunk...the purpose is to enhance the experience, not to overwhelm it.  I would also add that, at least in my book, ritual etiquette would ensure that everyone is on the same page as to the degree of drunkenness that is permissible, even after the ritual.  It's not always the right time or place to be passing out drunk, even if the ritual itself is over.  

Ritual actions are deliberate.  If you are including alcohol in your rituals, it should be done with a purpose in mind.  And that purpose should be kept in mind throughout the whole ritual.  Alcohol messes with our perceptions, and that can be a two-edged sword.  It can make us more open to things, but it can also make us think things are different from how they actually are.  It is very common for someone to feel, a few drinks in, that they are much more capable than they actually are (and that they are less drunk than they are...).

Absence of alcohol (or it's deliberate and obvious replacement) can also be a powerful ritual action.  If you are wanting to specifically exclude alcohol, you might go through the motions, but with an empty cup, so that you are reinforcing the fact that you chose to omit the drink.  If you are replacing it, make your replacement special.  This doesn't necessarily mean expensive or hard to come by, you can use water as a replacement, but perhaps you will charge the water ahead of time, or get your favorite bottled spring water.  You could also use another favored drink, a fancy juice or a lovely tea.  Make the drinking a ritual action, don't just chug down whatever you have.

Many older rituals (especially group rituals) include alcohol, but just because it was written that way doesn't mean we need to perform it to the letter.  Think about what role the alcohol plays in the ritual, decide if that is something you are comfortable with, and if it isn't, then figure out what you can use to create the same ritual impact...without the alcohol.  Above all else, make it a deliberate choice, and choose what is truly best for you.

Time is important

I've said it before....time and I don't always get along.  I don't 'do' time well...when I don't have outside prompts, I sort of drift along in this timeless world.  And yet, time is important.  Time not only allows us to coordinate with each other, but to be able to accomplish all the things we want to do.  Time is a factor that is outside ourselves, and it is absolute, in the sense that there is no amount of money or power that will give you (personally) more time.  In many ways, it is the ultimate equalizer.

But, we can use our time wisely, we can leverage our time...or we can waste our time.  Time management has become big business, because so many of us are not great at optimizing our time.  Things that we think will cost us time may actually be huge factors in saving us time (by making us more productive or organized).  Taking precautions with our time (like the old adage that we should measure twice and cut once) may end up saving us a lot of time in the long run, even though in any given instance it may cost us.

One of the places that I think many people sell themselves short, when it comes to time, is in taking time for themselves.  We often get busy, and we feel like we just don't have enough time to get everything done, and so we look for things that aren't 'essential', things that we can just not do so that we can use that time to do other things.  And often it's our down time that gets scrapped, because we figure it's something that is extra, it doesn't put food on our table or make sure the house is clean or anything else that often feels more vital.  

But here's the thing about downtime...when we skip it, every other part of our lives suffer.  When we don't recharge ourselves (and downtime is more than just the physical necessities of sleep, it is actual relaxation and rest and refilling our reserves), everything else takes more energy.  Let's consider meditation for a minute.  Countless studies have shown that regular meditation is immensely helpful to keep our mind sharp and focused, to keep us calm when things start getting crazy and to keep us at peace on the inside.  

 

Many people feel they don't have time to meditate, and I'm not talking about crazy marathon meditation sessions, but rather taking 10-30 minutes a day to practice.  In some ways, it's like taking a nap (which the recommended time is also about 10-30 minutes...hmmm)...when we feel we don't have time to do it is probably when we need it the most!  What people fail to consider, when deciding if they 'have time' for things like meditation (or naps) is that a 30 minute meditation session will actually save you time in the rest of your day, because you won't need to spend as much time to do your other tasks.  

The benefits are even more subtle than just being more effective on our time.  Think about tossing a pebble into a pond, and all the ripples that are created by the pebble.  When we have reaped the benefits of meditation, we respond differently to people we interact with...and those people respond to our energy.  So, if I am dealing with a cranky child, but because I took the time to meditate, I am able to keep my cool and think clearly, they will not only feel this and be more likely to also settle down, but I will be able to not get flustered and react poorly (which normally creates a chain reaction of the child responding with an even bigger tantrum).  And what works on children...works on adults!

Valuing our time isn't just restricted to self-care and downtime either.  By taking time to plan and prepare properly, we can set ourselves up for success.  I'm a big planner, and I know that planning my day, even though it takes time, helps me be more efficient.  Not only do I not have to stop throughout the day and try to remember what all I need to get done, it allows me to keep myself on task whenever I might get distracted.

When your day is highly structured, you already have your plan laid out for you.  There are specific times you need to be specific places doing specific things.  Your time management may be more focused on making sure that you use those already set times effectively so that the remaining time can be spent as you choose.  This may mean planning out tasks that can be done at the same time (like answering emails while waiting on the water to boil for dinner), or figuring out the best time to do errands (as much as you may want to just come home and relax after a long day of work, if you stop by the store on the way home and do your shopping, you don't have to do it on your day off...and you might save time by not having to drive as much).

 

As someone who doesn't have a lot of external time commitments, it is even more important that I manage my time wisely.  If I have one or two important things to do on a given day, and I don't plan when I am going to do them, it's very easy to get distracted doing random things, and then realize that it's past dinner time and I haven't gotten my main things done!  Though I don't tend to schedule things by the hour, I do think of my day in time chunks (typically the time between meals), and try to fit things into the chunk they fit best at (and preferably the earlier chunks, as I know that often after dinner I no longer have the brain clarity to do some things).

By treating time as important, you start to use your time more wisely.  You begin to notice the things you do that waste time or use it ineffectually.  And the more you value your time, the more you will start to weed those wasteful moments out of your life.  After all, that is the point of keeping track of our time...to be able to spend it on the things we want to, instead of having it slip through our fingertips.

Spells of opportunity

 

 So often, when we think of magic and spellcraft, we think of a deliberate practice of picking our desires, creating the spell or ritual that will work towards what we want, gathering supplies and then actually doing the spell.  This is how most of us learned how to practice our craft, and it is how we think about magic in our head:  we start with the goal and then we build the work around it.

But if we limit our magic to carefully crafted spells, we miss out on a lot of spontaneous magic.  I was thinking about this the other day, when I noticed I had a small cut.  Now, I know blood work is a highly controversial topic, but many people and cultures acknowledge the power that is inherent in blood.  And it made me think, that we often have situations like that, where we have the opportunity to create magic on the fly, without any real preparation....but truly formed from the moment we are in.

It reminds me of an RPG (roleplaying game) term:  attacks of opportunity.  In many RPG's there are rules for handling combat, and each character has a set amount of attacks they can perform.  This helps guide the flow of time in combat.  But some systems include a special rule for attacks of opportunity.  This is basically when a situation presents itself in such a way that you have the option of an extra attack (often because a foe moved into or out of your personal space).

I think of spontaneous magic like this...they are spells of opportunity.  I may not have had anything particular planned, but if I see a dandelion puff, why not go ahead and make a wish?  A lot of superstitions and folk magic fall into this category.  If you spill salt and you toss a bit over your shoulder to ward off the bad luck...you wouldn't normally do that unless you had spilled the salt.  Picking a penny up for good luck is another sort of spontaneous magical act....because you have to find the penny first!

There are some spells of opportunity I do regularly.  If I am throwing away some kind of string (or really anything I can tie into a knot), it always gets knotted (along with a bit of a banishing or binding....whatever I want to tie up in that moment).  I have a couple of liquid glitter containers that if I have to handle, for any reason (most often for cleaning lol) that I give a good shake and ask for a blessing (one is dedicated to the fae, the other is just general happiness).  If I'm taking notes, I'm often doodling little sigils for whatever comes to mind in the margins.

The best thing about spells of opportunity is that they aren't time intensive.  Part of the whole point of them is that they just kind of pop up...while you are already doing something.  It's like an instinctual thing, like if someone tosses something at you, the automatic response is to reach out and catch it.  Spells of opportunity become things like that, once you start practicing them.

Like most things, learning to make something habitual is a process.  Spontaneous magic may not come easily to you, but it is definitely something you can work towards doing more regularly.  Amusingly, a bit of planning helps make spells of opportunity easier.  Think of it like building up a sort of muscle memory...you want to front load your brain so that when certain 'trigger' situations happen, you reflexively look for the magical response.

Start by thinking about stuff you do every day.  It might even be helpful to do a mental walk through a typical day.  Think about what you do when you wake up.  Take yourself through your morning routine, and make a quick list of things you do almost every day.  Then look at your list and think about each thing on the list....and challenge yourself to think of a few different ways you could turn that action into something magical!

A few quick thoughts on this.  Firstly, spells of opportunity are spontaneous, so setting a regular habit of blessing your morning cup of coffee is a bit of every day magic, but it's more of a daily ritual than opportunistic magic.  Secondly, your spells of opportunity should be quick and not require any extra stuff....remember the whole point is that the situation occurs and you do the magic without a lot of thought or effort.  And finally, because they are spells of opportunity and meant to be spontaneous, you can easily have multiple spells that start with the same trigger!

Mostly have fun with it.  I may have to make my bed every morning, but by adding a spell of opportunity, this simple chore can become a chance to uplift my spirits (fluffing out the sheets), ground out some fear/anger (pounding a pillow), center for the day (making sure the blankets and sheets are 'just so') or even a bit of shapeshifting (taking a moment to 'be a cat' with my kitties on the bed).  The more options I can dream up, the more magic moments I can tie into making my bed, the more ways I can grasp that spell of opportunity.

It's fun to not only do this with regular stuff, but also with things that are highly unexpected.  When something unusual happens, try asking yourself, what magic can you do right then and there!  Maybe you get a really funky piece of junk mail, and you use it as a focus to open people's eyes to scam offers (as you rip it up).  Or you might take the opportunity presented by a long wait time to practice reading the energy of the other people waiting.  Perhaps you practice creating simple sigils and drawing them in the condensation left by your cup on the table.

The best thing about spells of opportunity is that there is no real way to fail at building this practice!  If you want to start, and realize it's been a few days since you remembered to try....no worries, just look around you and see what you might do right then.  The power of this practice is that it is always in the moment, there is no planning or thinking ahead, there are no supplies or requirements....it's just whatever magic you can do...whenever you can do it.