Divine Masculine....expanded

I looked back, and I actually wrote about the Divine Masculine last year.  With Father's Day coming up, my mind returns to this idea of not only the Divine Masculine, but how we relate to the idea of masculinity in our greater world and in our faith.

I think that we are starting to look at ideas like male and female in a different light, or more specifically in a broader spectrum.  Many of the qualities that were typically associated with being 'masculine' are now being looked at as less then idea...and we are realizing they aren't really tied to masculinity at all.  Things like strength, aggression, assertiveness...these are qualities that anyone can have and the lack of them doesn't make a person less masculine.

Things become a bit more convoluted when we consider the Divine Masculine though.  The Divine Masculine is an archetype, it isn't a specific person, or deity.  It is one half of the coin of Divinity, if you think about the sides as Masculine and Feminine as an archetypal duality.  The thing is, that this two-sided-coin way of looking at the world is one that we are starting to outgrow.  We realize that the world is more than just two sides, there is the edge, the rim, the interior and the 'not-coin' parts of the coin.

And yet, a lot of our practices still involve the twin ideas of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine (even if you also work with other deity-forms and accept other expressions of gender), and I think this is because our dual-divinity is based on the creative principle...it is literally a divine reflection of our biological procreation process.

When we think about the Divine Masculine and Feminine, in a Pagan context, we are looking at the procreative powers of the natural world, the way that new things are made, and for most of nature this involves a male and a female.  We see the Divine Masculine as the archetype of all the male's of all species and types, in all the world, and the same for the Divine Female.  It is only through the two combined that creation (of new life) happens..for most of life on this planet.

But we don't always acknowledge this fact...that our concept of dual-divinity is based on this biological process.  We try to link similar qualities to the physical act, so the Feminine is the vessel, the one that holds and nurtures life, while the male is the protector and the spark that ignites new life in the female.  This is spirituality imitating nature, and it's all well and good until you really start to look.

There are lots of examples the break this mold, where the females are the hunters and protectors or where a couple-bonding doesn't occur, or where the males tend the babies/eggs.  As with most things, I think we are conditioned to accept information that we are given, and not really think about it..but it is through looking with our own eyes, uncovering our own truths and really thinking about the deeper meanings, that we come to our own experiences of how things are and what things mean.

We acknowledge the fact that our deities are not biological beings and don't always follow the same rules as we humans do.  And yet, we still want to humanize them in many ways, and the way we look at the Divine Masculine (and Feminine) illustrates this perfectly.

If you think, you can probably name off a handful of Gods who fit this very traditional role of Divine Masculine.  They are the warriors, the fathers, the strong.  But I bet you can also name off quite a few who are less traditionally 'masculine'.  These are often the tricksters, the poets, the dreamers, the artists...and yet they are Gods and we accept them as such. 

We see ourselves as reflections of the divine, that divinity lives in us.  And it doesn't just match up Masculine to male and Feminine to female.  We each hold both within us, and we can express either in any given moment. 

Looking back to the myths and stories of the Gods, we can see how different traits are beneficial in different situations.  If we are racing towards battle, with swords in hand, then being able to spin a compelling story with your words isn't that useful...but strength of arm and fierceness of spirit is.  But after the battle, when you are telling the children what happened, so they can take your experience and learn and grow from it, then being able to craft a story that will be remembered and that captures the essence of the experience is much more needed than knowing how to swing your sword.

The Divine Masculine is a part of all that is, but we may not be seeing it clearly.  Our understanding of the world is changing.  The way we treat each other in society is changing.  Right now, a lot is in flux.  And it may be time to revisit our understanding of the Divine Masculine and Feminine.  To look at how they manifest in our world and in our Selves, and to decide how we want to relate to them.  If we are working with outdated expressions and understandings, then it may be time to look deeper, to question what we know and why we have accepted it as truth...and to figure out where we are going in the future. 

Celebrating the ordinary

To say we are living in interesting times would be an understatement, but I think we are opening our eyes and finally recognizing all the amazing, ordinary things that we have in our lives, the things we take for granted.  Now that we are faced with not having access to all the things we rely upon, we have realized just how precious they are to us.

When we think about our ancestors, we think about things like Sabbat celebrations and holidays, the big, elaborate festivals that celebrate big events.  But if you read and think about what these actually celebrated, they were often very basic, everyday things.  They celebrated the rising of the sun each morning, because it wasn't certain in their world view.  They celebrated the turning of the seasons because it meant seeing another year.  They celebrated births and birthdays as accomplishments because life was fleeing and a child who lived to see their first birthday was a miracle.

I feel like we have lost a lot of this awareness of the specialness of everyday occurrences.  We may appreciate the beauty of a sunrise, but we don't typically celebrate the fact that the sun rose and a new day has started.

Many people are being faced with the idea that life is fleeting, perhaps for the very first time.  This pandemic has shown that it can effect people of all ages, all states of health, all socioeconomic levels. Some people are facing the idea that they might die, not in some far away tomorrow, but that they might be sick, right now, without even knowing it, and that they might not live to see the end of the year.  This is a very new thing and it has made a lot of people recognize how ephemeral life really is.

Because, of course, life has never been certain.  There are no guarantees.  Live can change in an instant, and it can change forever.  And while this brings fear, this also often brings a strange new joy for many people.  Colors seem brighter, simple things bring them more pleasure, they are learning to appreciate the things they have instead of only wishing for what they don't have.

And this can be hard to do, in times of scarcity and restriction.  We don't have access to a lot of things that we normally would.  But what remains is still amazing and wonderful!  Here I am, sitting in my home, typing out words that will be shared online for anyone from around the world to read.  I can pick up my phone and call friends that I might not be able to see.  I can video chat with family.  I can go outside and feel the sun on my face and the earth beneath my feet.

Taking time to celebrate these ordinary things can help us keep our spirits high and are perspective firmly grounded.  When we start to get scared, or concerned about what is going on in the world (and who wouldn't be...there is crazy stuff going on!), when we need a break from all of that, we can turn to something as simple as drinking a glass of water, and appreciating the clean, cool liquid.  We can turn on a favorite show and give thanks for the ability to stream content whenever we want (or watch a recording over and over).

One daily ritual I have kept for years is to greet the day.  I say a modified prayer that greets deities and asks for blessings.  It's a way for me to start each day with a bit of gratitude and a bit of thanks giving.  Even though the words don't specifically focus on gratitude, for me, it feels like a gratitude practice.  I look out the window and see what the day has to offer, and I feel grateful to be able to do that.  I am grateful for my gods for the day they have provided, whether it is bright and sunny or overcast and rainy.  I am grateful for my health and for my ability to help others (two of the things I ask for in my prayer).  I am grateful for the earth I live on and all she has to offer.

 I often thank the things I use everyday, like my computer and my house.  I talk to my cats and I tell them how much I love that they cuddle with me or how cute they are.  I reach out to touch my husband, as he's sleeping, just because I am grateful he is there (snores and all!).  

Another practice that works really well for me is to stop and give thanks for things when they stop working.  It's based on the idea that we don't always think about things until they aren't there, and normally when something breaks on us, we get upset and angry.  But instead of focusing on the feelings of loss, I think that there is something really powerful in taking that moment to appreciate what we are missing.  When internet goes out, instead of fussing and getting worked up, I try to send out a prayer of thanks for the connection and freedom the internet gives me (and how our internet is normally very reliable!).

One great return of this kind of practice is it brings you out of that 'lack of' mindset and sets you back on appreciating what you have (even though you don't have it right at that moment...it's sort of an oxymoronic practice, but hey it works!).  It resets your mind back to a place of contentment and gratitude.  It's a bit of "this too shall pass," and focusing on the positive makes the negatives that much easier to bear.

So, even as the world is struggling and changing and life as we know it may never be the same, we can choose to celebrate the small moments, the ordinary moments.  Take the time to be happy the sun rose at night or that the night brings darkness for rest and sleep.  Appreciate the food and drink you have, and all the little, silly, strange, amazing things that you love, whether it is a feather you found, a tv show that makes you laugh, a loved one or a stain on the ceiling that looks a bit like a flower.  If it makes your life better, celebrate it, and through these celebrations you capture moments of peace.

Blending Faith and Fandom

Stories have always been retold and different versions have evolved, as the teller puts their own spin on the story.  For anyone who has had a relative tell 'their version' of a fairy tale, this is a familiar experience.  But we are seeing very modern versions of many of the old myths and legends, and for some people this creates problems.

Sometimes, the new versions vary greatly, changing so many details that the stories are only alike in name, but other times only a few details have been altered and the essence of the story remains true.  As modern Pagans, we are often faced with many versions of the stories and deities we work with, both historically (as the stories change and evolve), but also in our modern world, in the form of books and movies.

I am sure I am not alone in my love for the modern tales, and if you include a witch, Pagan deity or ancient myth in a book/movie/show, I will want to watch it.  I love consuming fiction that centers on things I am passionate about.

But I also find that sometimes these stories begin to flavor my own understanding and relationship with the deities and stories.  Often, this serves to personify the stories, as seeing a character acted out on screen means I begin to associate their image with the character, and hearing their words spoken (or reading them in several books, as actual dialogue), means I hear their 'voice' (tone of voice, mannerisms, etc).  They become real in a different way to me.

And I think part of this is that we have lost so much of the old stories.  We are hearing the academic retellings, the stories pared down to their essential facts and the most commonly shared details.  We aren't hearing the campfire versions of the stories, with all the embellishments that a good story teller would add.

So the 'official' tales, the ones we read in mythology books or the descriptions we get of deities are more clinical, leaving a void behind.  The modern versions, in their full technocolor drama bring those flat characters to life.

I feel like there is a tendency to fixate on either the first version of a story we hear of the one we feel is the most 'official'...and sadly official often translates to generic.  This often reminds me of the evolution of fairy tales, and how many of the early versions are quite different from the ones we grew up hearing.  The darker aspects have been edited out for a modern audience, as we tend to shelter our kids from the harsh realities of the world much longer now. 

But the different versions of the same fairy tale can highlight different parts of the same story.  They let you experience it from different perspectives, and it makes you think about what is really going on...and why it's important (and sometimes why it was changed).  I think the same kind of thought process is really useful, when looking at our deities and myths.

I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again, but we don't live in the same world our ancestors do.  And I personally don't believe our deities are static.  The deities I work with aren't stuck back in the middle ages or the height of their cultural dominance...because if they were they wouldn't be of much help to me (nor I to them).  In order for the deities I work with to be relevant, they have to had adapted to modern life.

We don't always think this through, but most of us work off of this idea.  We bless our phones or ask for help with internet situations, or maybe in getting that job interview...but if you stop and think, pretty much all of those things would be utterly meaningless to people who actively worshiped our deities in their historically active period. 

So modern retellings make sense, because not only do we need to feel like our deities understand us, we need to understand them.  Just as aspects of our life might not be immediately accessible to someone of a different time period, aspects of their life aren't always friendly to a modern mind.

There are LOTS of traditional myths that are pretty bad when held up to modern morality.  Even just looking at the ages of characters in stories, some of the tales become problematic.  We really are different from our ancestors, and so the way in which we relate to our deities and myths should be different as well.

And this isn't something that is either on or off.  This is a whole range of inclusion that you have to navigate and see what works for you and what doesn't.  You might love watching movies that feature deities you work with, but you don't see them as anything other than entertainment.  Or you may see them as modern myths, as a new lens through which you can find another aspect of a well-known deity.  You might love ancient art and wish to use only historical images in your magical work, or you may fall in love with modern artist's takes on how deities look.  You might enjoy using mass marketed statues (toys!) or you may not.

No matter where you fall on the spectrum of fandom and modern retelling, it is always good to remember that the storyteller is sharing their perspective.  These are not things that can be objectively proven with facts and records.  These are living, breathing stories, and they are flavored by both the teller and the observer.  Your relationship with them will depend as much on you as on the versions you are exposed to.  And even when you discover a version that doesn't click for you, it can be helpful to ask yourself why it doesn't work.  It is these thoughts and questions that bring us deeper into our relationship with our deities, and the myths that represent them.

Looking back on hard times

"Where were you when..." is one of those questions that lingers.  It's what we ask when a life defining moment happens.  It's what we connect over, as these big experiences change us forever.  And these moments can be personal or they can be global. 

On a personal level, events could be like how you found out you were going to have a baby or how you found out that Santa (or the Tooth Fairy...or any other childhood figure) wasn't 'real'.  People bond over these shared experiences, even though we each go through them differently and at different times.

On a larger scale, perhaps a big storm hit the town you lived in, and everyone talks about the 'winter of (*insert year here)" where people were without power for days or buildings were destroyed.  This creates a bonding effect with the people you see everyday in your life, your neighbors and the folks you run into at the store.  It also can become a dividing line between natives and 'outsiders'....people who might have moved to town after the event happened and don't have that shared experience to reminisce over.

Then, you reach the national level, and we come to more 'once in a lifetime' type of events.  I thought that, for me, it would be 911.  That was definitely a "where were you when you heard about the towers?" moment.  And these type of events become rallying flags that the country gathers behind.  It drew us together, it helped us set aside our differences for a while.  People were inspired by the volunteers and heroes who worked tirelessly to try to rescue as many survivors as possible.  People called loved ones or even vague acquaintances they knew who might have been in the area, wanting to know they were safe.

And now, we have reached the global scale.  This (hopefully!) is the once in a lifetime event, the defining moment of every generation that lived through it.  And it has the added uncertainty of not being a human threat.  There is no adversary we can attack, no leader to vanquish, no one to capture to put an end to this.  It is both bringing people together and driving them apart as fear captures people in different ways.

But the thing about defining moments is we don't have control over what is happening to us...what we do have control over is how we respond.  And every one's situation, even in this shared global event, is different.  We all have different personal situations and different resources and different needs.  We will all walk through this obstacle differently, but we will all face it.

In the moment, everything feels bigger.  The silences and the waiting feel longer, the tragedies hit us harder, the restrictions feel more suffocating.  And as time goes on, we start to adjust.  Things that felt insurmountable a month ago have become commonplace.  We have begun to figure out how to make due with what we have, to sort out new ways to solve problems with different tools. 

We don't know what the future will hold, but we do know that when that future comes, we will look back on these times and these are stories that will matter.  For the most part, our daily lives and activities will pass unnoticed.  What we do, on a particular day, isn't normally going to make the history books.  What makes times like this so remarkable is that the everyday stuff, the unremarkable things we do....have become noteworthy.

Think back to any historical event you read about.  Sure, they always highlight the big moments:  when the battle turned, when the cure was found, when the building collapsed.  But they also looked at all the ordinary moments, they made a note of what daily routines were like, what kinds of foods people ate, what new methods were employed.

It can be hard, while in the middle of it, to make sense of all that is going on.  But knowing that one day we will be looking back on these times, can help us keep our perspective.  We will get through this, one way or another.  And sometimes we just need that lifeline, the knowledge that all the little things matter.

Faith and spiritual practice are often tested, in these extreme times.  And you may find that your mundane struggles have eclipsed your regular practice.  This is absolutely normal and it doesn't mean that you are any less dedicated!  You may need some space, you may need to devote your mental energy to getting through the day, and you just don't have anything left.  Or you might find that you need more spiritual connection...this is also normal!  You may find that instead of relaxing with a hobby, you are drawn to more introspection, more journaling, more prayer.

You may fluctuate between the two, going days without feeling any kind of spiritual spark, and then feeling the need to dive deep for a while.  Listen to what your soul needs, and honor what you are feeling.  You might feel called to do more work for others, to seek out people who are wanting help...or you might need to withdraw some of your energy and focus on your own issues for a bit.

The biggest thing to remember, is these are extra-ordinary times....they are outside the realm of normal.  So normal rules and expectations don't apply.  Don't feel like you need to hold yourself to your 'regular' activities.  Give yourself the flexibility to do what feels right...so that in the future, you can look back and say, "Yes, I lived through that time, and it was hard, but here's how I made it..."

One small step at a time...

Anytime you start something new, it can feel intimidating.  You have this idea about what a practice should be, and you look at the people who are at the top of their game, the experts, the public figures.  You see these beautiful pictures of elaborate setups and fancy tools, you read descriptions of complex rituals, daily rituals and the cycle of the year, and it feels like you don't even know where to start.

I recently read something that talked about how most of us aren't extraordinary, and yet we hold ourselves up to that standard.  We look at experts and professionals, and those are the people we compare ourselves to...and this is a really bad practice!  Most of us don't have the luxury of our spiritual practice being our livelihood.  And especially when you are starting out, you don't have those years of experience under your belt. 

There is also this fear of doing things wrong, of making mistakes...of failing.  And often with both magic and spirituality, there is a deeper fear of a serious consequence that will come from a minor mistake.  We read these horror stories about someone who messed up the wording in a money spell and a beloved relative died and left them money (which really is a horrible story to tell beginner witches...I really dislike fear-based prohibitions). 

Media doesn't help either.  We watch movies about magic where 'the dark side' is always tempting magic users, trying to get them to do bad things.  Or where someone makes an innocent mistake (like forgetting to leave an offering to a deity), and now they have a vengeful God out to get them.  And while most of us know that movies and such are fiction, that idea still lives in our head, that we might anger one of the beings we work with if we mess up, and we worry if we would be forgiven.

It has actually been my experience that walking a spiritual (and magical!) path is very forgiving.  Sure, there are mistakes you can make, and there are consequences for those mistakes...but typically speaking, the results of your actions are in line with what you actually did.  I don't feel like we need to fear catastrophic backlash from what I would call 'learning mistakes'.

When you learn, you make mistakes, that's just part of it.  If we didn't make mistakes, we wouldn't need to learn....and often it is our mistakes that teach us. It is through trying something, noticing how it didn't work and what the consequences are, that we figure out what works and what doesn't.

We also seem to have this idea that if we can't do something fully and completely, we shouldn't do it.  We are prone to wanting to wait until we 'know everything' to start working.  And while some people are great at book learning and doing the mental work first, others learn through experience, and trying to memorize the meanings of every card in a tarot deck before they ever actually work with their cards is an exercise in frustration.

I think that every practice we want to build can be learned from the ground up.  It can be broken into very simple and small steps, and sometimes that is all you can manage...and that's okay!  I love the idea of accessible practice, that you can do what feels right to you.

Since I was talking about tarot (and this applies to pretty much any divinatory practice), lets think about learning tarot for a minute.  There is this image of a professional tarot reader, who pulls a deck out of a wooden box, where it is kept wrapped in silk.  They shuffle perfectly, and lay the cards out, murmuring appropriately at different cards.  Then they weave together all the cards in the layout, uncovering these mystical 'truths' about the client, who is amazed at how perfectly the reading matches their situation, and all the hidden details it reveals, things they never told the reader!

And this is the image in our head, when we think about reading tarot.  We may feel unworthy at working with our cards until we know all the meanings for every card (and let me just say that you can't know 'all' the meanings).  We may feel frustrated that we don't see anything when we look at a card.

We may not always feel like we have the time or energy to do a full, big reading...and that's just fine!  You can pull a single card, and start seeing what pops out at you.  And sometimes nothing will, or the thing that comes through might not make any sense (this is often where making notes of your readings helps...but if that's not your thing, that's fine too...I don't keep records of most of the readings I do). 

Even more than that, you should feel comfortable just handling your deck.  Maybe you don't feel up to interpreting the cards, you just want to spend some time enjoying the pictures.  I love looking at the art of my decks.  The more time you spend with your cards, the more familiar they will become to you.  You will notice more...because you have taken the time to really look.  And sometimes, you may just want that physical connection.  Maybe you want to shuffle your deck, or just have it near you.

These same micro-actions can be used to get more familiar with other parts of our practice.  Whatever it is you want to do....start doing it! If you want to honor the Sabbats, there are a ton of ways to do that, not all of them requiring any type of circle or ritual at all.  You might see pictures of people online who are dedicating a whole day to celebrating the Sabbat, who have a big community group who gather together and make larger than life effigies or other ritual observances, and you flounder trying to figure out what you can do.

Things can be scaled back.  If you don't have a group (or room) for a 50 foot Maypole, you can make a smaller one with a stick and some ribbons.  If you don't have time to cook a themed feast, maybe you can find one food that reminds you of the season.  You might watch a seasonal movie or find some great pictures to look at.

The thing about practice is that it starts really small.  I love the analogy of body building as practice.  We look at some of the world class body builders, and they can lift crazy amounts of weight.  It seems super human, and yet at one point, they were all just like everyone else.  They didn't just start tying to lift their max weight, they started where we all do...trying to lift something slightly heavier than what was easy.  And it doesn't matter how much you can lift when you start, or how long it takes you to graduate to the next level of 'heavy' along the way.  If you keep practicing, you will get better.

That is how I view spiritual practice.  And sometimes it feels like you aren't making any progress....because while you are in the middle of it, slow progress feels like nothing.  But just keeping at your practice is progress!  Doing little things becomes habit, and over time you look back and realize that the initial action, maybe it was just putting on a meaningful piece of jewelry every day, has led to a morning prayer, a shielding practice, a gratitude practice or any number of other things.

It doesn't matter how tiny the action is, or how removed it may seem from your 'goal' practice.  If it brings you joy or makes you feel a bit more in tune...do it!  Let your path be paved with a million tiny actions, because they all add up.  And by continuing to come back to these small actions, you will find that the larger ones become that much easier.

Magic in a crisis

The ethics of magic is something that many people struggle with.  The "Harm None" phrase gets quoted often, but even if you follow it, there is a lot of room for interpretation.  Harm is a much more vague term than you might think, and sometimes we don't have a clear understanding of what is harmful to us (or others). 

Many people prefer to simply stay away from doing magic that effects other people without their permission.  The idea of infringing on another person's free will is one that doesn't sit well with many. 

And yet, all of life is a give and take.  If we want to eat to live, we must take from another (whether it is an animal or plant).  Now we have rules about how we can take things.  Typically we take by giving, we offer up something, like money, to pay for the thing we are gaining.  But we might also offer our time or barter goods for other goods.

Most people try to find ways to be as fair as possible to everyone involved.  After all, if everyone walks away happy, the next interaction will likely go even better! 

But sometimes, you have no choice.  Someone is determined to try to take away from others, and they aren't willing to listen.  Or you are dealing with something (like a natural disaster) that you can't negotiate with.

Let's think about the natural phenomenon first.  If a big storm is hitting, we want to protect what is important to us.  We may cast spells to help keep our family and property safe.  But we might also decide we want to try to help the greater population as well, and expand our spell to protect other people.  This might have the effect of lessening the storm.

Now, weather magic can be tricky.  It's one of those things where we don't always know everything, and we may not think about how changing the weather could effect future weather.  Will the storm not hitting mean the area suffers from lack of water?  Will the storm have cleared out some old growth to make way for new growth? 

If we simply try to make the storm dissipate, we are more likely to create some kind of imbalance than if we were to work towards allowing the storm to rage around us...but not damage property or hurt people and animals.

Right now, we are faced with a different kind of disaster, although still a natural one.  The virus that is spreading across the globe is a natural, living thing that only wants to survive and propagate...kind of like people.  I think that this is kind of like when any one species becomes too dominant, has too much of a current advantage.  But even to take it on a more personal level, I as a person have the right to want to survive.  And if this means I have to fight another being, then I have that right.  It's why we protect our homes from people who might want to come in and do us harm, or even steal our things.  We are within our rights to defend ourselves, and sometimes if the attacker will not yield, that can mean with any force necessary.

This is one of those decisions that each person must make on their own.  It's a bit like the decision to eat meat or not.  Many people don't feel right eating meat and many people don't feel wrong eating meat.  It really comes down to what you can live with.  If your desire to not harm others is so great you would rather allow people to take your things than cause them harm, then that is your choice to make.  We all have to figure out where we stand on these things and live a life that matches.

My personal viewpoint is somewhere in the middle.  I'm more than happy to let things live, but once you start making my life miserable, I will act.  I kill bugs (especially those that bite me), and I eat meat, and I will defend my home and family.

You might be asking what this has to do with anything.  Well right now, if you consider the global situation, we have a lot of people who are out doing things that are putting everyone at risk.  It sort of reminds me of the witches who banded together to fight against the horrors of WWII.  There was a threat to the way of life, a big enemy, and witches worked together to use magic to fight against it.

I feel we are at a place like that now.  And it's not just about the people who are resisting the restrictions put in place to keep everyone healthy.  We are fighting the virus itself, we are fighting the emotional strain it has put on us, we are fighting the financial disaster that is looming.  This is the time to really think about how you want to be using your magic to effect the world. 

Let me start off by saying that if you feel it is not your place, or that your practice isn't aligned towards this sort of thing, that is absolutely fine.  It is YOUR choice...but let it be an informed choice.  There are many, many ways we can effect the world at large, and they don't have to be controlling or confrontational.

I always think about the kindness ripples, about how tiny acts of kindness, simple things like smiling at a stranger when you see them, can spread much farther than you think.  I fully believe magic works the same way.  When I work to bless someone I know, I can make their life a bit better.  That in turn can help them do something for someone else.  One small blessing can reach people I have never met.  And I think we need all the small blessings we can get right now.

I was thinking about smiling at strangers the last time I went to the grocery store.  We are required to wear a mask now, so I was thinking about how any one would know I was smiling.  But of course a smile is more than just a face gesture.  It is a little act of magic, a little sharing of your kindness and uplifting energy.  And you can make it even more deliberate.  For those that are wearing masks, they can be blessed, not only to help ward off any sickness...but to spread joy and feelings of safety.

There is so much fear and worry going around right now, and for many people a mask is a symbol of that.  It is a physical representation of a reaction to something scary.  It is a way to distance yourself from other people, that you don't know are sick or well.  But, we can work to change their energy!  We can charge our masks to be symbols of protection and care.  Instead of seeing a mask and thinking we are living in a scary time, we can see a mask and think, "There is one more person who is doing what they can to help protect others."   Masks can become a flag of community, something that ties us together in our desire to stand as one.

And, like the witches of WWII, we can also join together and work towards finding a cure and treatment, towards wining the fight with this virus.  We can cast our protections on not only our loved ones, but the vulnerable, the caregivers, the essential workers...everyone who is putting themselves out there.

We can cast our spells to open people's eyes, to bring a renewed focus on finding a solution instead of looking for ways to place blame.  We can cast our spells to bring real change, to use this horrible situation to make the world a better place for everyone, to show people that the things they thought were impossible are not only doable, but desirable.

They say change starts with an idea, and we can take that idea and start sending it out into the world.  Think about what is going on and what outcomes you would want, not only for yourself but for the world.  Look for ways that fit your practice, to send those ideas, those dreams out there...and let's build a new world!

Solitary Birthdays...

As time passes, more and more people are passing their birthday, in a time where we can't gather.  I had mine a few days ago, and while we don't normally do anything big, my friends always do something special for my birthday, and I definitely missed that.

But I think there is this trend of making birthdays about other people celebrating us...which is awesome!  Everyone deserves a day where they are the center of attention, where they get waited on and tended to and are made to feel special and amazing.

Where I think we tend to fall a little flat is that we rely on other people to give us these feelings, and we don't do special things for ourselves.  We wait for others to buy us presents, we hope that they will do things to pamper us, we are excited about treats that we will be offered.

There is a stigma on doing nice things for yourself, and this is especially true on one's birthday....and it makes my heart sad.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself, especially on your birthday! 

Birthday's aren't just about making it through another year, they are a recognition of our life, of all the pain and joy we have experienced.  They are a marker of who we are, and how we are growing and changing.  Think back to when you were little, and every year you would hear about how big you are growing or how much more mature you look.  People would talk about all the fantastic things you can do now, or the amazing stuff you learned that past year.

We need to bring that back!  Make birthdays a true celebration of all that has gone on in this year of your life...and all the years previous (because they all work together to make you who you are).  And the person who should be most excited, most proud, most wanting to shower you in gifts and special moments...is you.

Take this day to be self-centered (as in centered on your Self).  Take some time to reflect on just how far you have come, and anything you have accomplished during the year.  Sometimes these things are tricky and hide, and look like disasters, but when you peek beneath the surface you realize that the hard times are where you showed your strength.  You made it through, and just by surviving those hard times, you are amazing!

One great thing to do, for your birthday is a tarot spread.  There are many online you can find that provide a combination of looking back and celebrating as well as a glimpse forward into the future of what the coming year will bring.  Taking time to stop, reflect and honor what your year has held is a powerful way to acknowledge yourself and all you bring into the world.

The past few years, I have also become a believer in buying myself a present.  There is something subtly different in the mentality from just picking up something 'because I want it' and designating something a present.  By naming it a present, you are imbuing it with energy, specifically you are saying that you are worth it.  It is a simple (and fun!) way to remind yourself that you are worthy...just by existing. 

Gifting yourself should follow the rules you use for gifting other people.  Buy something you truly want, not something that you 'need'.  This is not the time to replace your ratty towels or get new work shoes (unless those things really make you happy, then definitely indulge!).  It is the perfect time to declare to yourself that the thing you've had your eye on, your 'guilty pleasure' item is perfectly legitimate and there is no reason to hope someone else will get it for you when you can just get it for yourself!

We often feel like we shouldn't like certain things.  Some things are considered 'less than' other things.  If you are an adult, and you like teen novels or trashy romances, those are often viewed as less worthy than deep, intellectual works or 'classics'.  If you like anything that might be considered a 'toy', whether it is a collectable figure, a video game, a stuffed animal...these are seen as childish. 

But here's the thing....the stuff that really lights you up is ABSOLUTELY worth it!  If a little squishy, bright pink pig just makes your day, why wouldn't you want it in your life!  We never know what the future might bring, and life is too short to not allow yourself the things that make you happy.  So find something that you want, something that you know will make your days better, and plan on gifting it to yourself.  (Yes, plan, sometimes you may need to save up to get that thing you really like...that's perfectly fine!)

And while we're speaking of stuff that brings you joy, just keep repeating, "It's my day!"  If you have a food you love....eat it!  Maybe it's something you really like and  no one else in your family cares for it...get it anyways (bonus, if you are the only one who likes it, then you get it all to yourself).  Let yourself have one day where you aren't constantly thinking about what other people want or like, and enjoy the things you love.

I started this post talking about celebrating alone, because many people can't gather with their extended family and friends right now.  But whether or not you normally celebrate with other people, these are things that I strongly feel everyone should do...and do proudly.

It always makes me sad when I see someone post about how they took themselves out to dinner on their birthday and got cake but ate it alone.  Or that they went to see a movie they were super excited about, but no one wanted to see it with them so they had to go by themselves.  Or they 'just spent a quiet night at home reading.' on their birthday.  And it doesn't make me sad because they were alone...it makes me sad because society tells us that these things are undesirable.  We are taught that if other people aren't seeing and reacting to what you are doing, it's not 'real'.

And I think that's just a really harmful way of looking at things!  Whether you are 'stuck' doing things alone now, or choosing to do things alone later (when you are also able to celebrate with others), I feel it is important to honor ourselves...by ourselves.  Our worth isn't determined by other people, and by only honoring our self-worth through the eyes of others, we are telling our Self that what we think and feel is somehow less.

So find ways to celebrate your birthday alone!  Figure out what those deep desires of your heart are, and find ways to bring them to life.  Buy yourself a gift, and treat yourself to luxuries that you normally forgo.  Take some time to reflect on the awesomeness that is You.  And know you are absolutely, totally, and forever worth it!