Ethical spirit work

I was originally going to title this "Ethical ancestor work," but I think the topic needed expanded a little.  We often talk, in the Pagan community, about not taking our Gods for granted, about not only coming to them with requests and seeking help.  And while I have seen the topic of watching the tone in which we speak to spirits discussed, it is much rarer to see a discussion about making sure all our relationships are balanced and go both ways.

I think that things are getting a bit better, when it comes to ancestor work.  We are seeing a much bigger presence of ancestor altars and work in the Pagan community, something which wasn't talked about much a decade ago.  I think that honoring our ancestors is something that was much more prevalent in many ancient cultures, and somewhere along the lines it got a bit lost.  I sometimes wonder if this is tied into our expansion across the globe (sometimes abrupt and not under the best circumstances). 

It was much easier to keep deep roots to your ancestors when you lived where they lived, when you knew where they were buried, when everyone in your community knew them as well.  Today, many people don't know their family tree much beyond their grandparents, and they don't live where their family lived.  There is a loss of that line of continuity, and sometimes that makes connecting with our ancestors harder.

Some cultures still carry the idea of caring for our ancestors beyond the grave.  This was a concept I grew up with, making offerings and gifts to the dead so that they would be taken care of.  I don't remember any sense of asking for things in return, it was all about honoring and remembering them, and seeing to their needs.

I do think that many of us call upon our ancestors for advice or strength.  There are several chants I know of that speak of the 'strength of our ancestors' and the idea that we are built on the strength of generations is one that is known to many people. 

I think these two concepts (caring for the dead and drawing upon their strength) need to go hand in hand.  We shouldn't ask for help from ancestors who don't know us.  It's all nice and pretty to imagine that they all float around in the afterlife, watching over us, but if you really think about it, that's a horrible afterlife.  I wouldn't want my ancestors to be stuck just watching what their descendants were getting up to.  This assumption that their afterlife is centered around us is just super self-serving (not to mention that the further back you go, the more descendants they would have to watch over...my grandmother has five grandkids, go back a few more generations and you are talking of hundreds of people)

I think of ancestor work much like deity work.  You build a relationship, and depending on the strength and closeness of that relationship, that limits what you can ask for help with.  You may have one or two ancestors you feel really drawn to, that you want to really bond with, but you may have others that you would like to honor in a less personal way. 

Keeping an ancestor altar is a great way to not only build up those specific relationships you are wanting to work on, but also to honor your ancestors in general.  You might have pictures of the ones you mostly work with, or things that were important to them.  I have a few items that belong to my father's mother, and those often find their way to my sacred spaces.

An ancestor altar also allows you to make general offerings, to all your ancestors.  Whether we know (or like) them or not, we are literally formed from them.  Without them, we would not be.  We can make offerings on our ancestor altar to recognize that ancestral line, even if we don't know all their names.

Now, I said at the start that I wanted to talk about not only ancestors, but also spirits.  Many Pagans, myself included work with a variety of spirits.  I call on the elements, I work with plant and animal spirits, I honor the spirit of my house and the land I live on.  And there can be a tendency to think of some of these relationships from a human-centric perspective.

A while back, there was a movement in the Pagan community, to change the language we use when we call the elements to our circles.  I have been using the phrase 'call the elements' and that was one phrase used, but "I summon you" was also another.  There is an implication of order, as if I am forcing the spirits to come to my circle and do my bidding.  A lot of the phrasing now is along the lines of invitation and request.

Pagans who work with the elements often invoke them for many different reasons, from casting circle and helping with spells to empowering change within ourselves.  Now, not all Pagans view the elements as spiritual beings, some work with the elements as flavors of energy...that is to say they aren't actual spirits, but more like electricity, a force that follows certain rules.

I split the difference.  I think that there is elemental energy, but I also feel like that energy has a presence, and I do work with beings that belong to the specific elements.  Whichever way you view the elements, much can be said for deepening your understanding of them.

If you view them as spirits, then it stands to reason that they would benefit from building a relationship, just like a deity or ancestor.  And if you view them as pure energy, then the more you work with them, the better you understand how that energy works, and the more capable you will be of working with it.

I really like working with the elements, and finding ways to tap into that elemental energy.  I play with fire (sometimes literally, sometimes in safer ways like by burning candles or gazing at a bonfire).  I pay attention to the difference between rain and bath water.  I taste air at different times in the year.  I touch the earth and feel the weight of my body.

All of these things help me recognize the elemental energy, but they also help me connect to the spirits involved.  I feel the spirit of the individual flame, and of the different types of water.  I find wind spirits in gusts and whirlwinds.  I seek out earth spirits in the plants and rocks and special places near my house.  And I leave them offerings (like most gift-giving, I try to think about what the other being might want or need).

Working with spirits of all kinds is really no different than working with people.  Some you will feel an instant bond to, and the relationship will be fun and easy and strong.  Others you may be forced to work with, and it's a struggle to find ways to smooth out the rough patches, but it's so worth it when you do.  Each relationship has it's own levels of give and take, it's own depth of sharing.  If you tip the balance too much, the relationship struggles.  But building these relationships bring all kinds of benefits to your life, sometimes in very surprising ways!