Knowing when to move on

 

 Life is change, and all things come...and go...in their own time.  I've been writing this blog, on and a bit off, for 11 years now, and it's time for me to move on.  Like most things that have been a big part of our lives, it can be hard to move forward and let go of something, even if it's no longer serving you in the way that it was previously.  But acknowledging where you are in life and what your needs and desires are, as well as the limits of your capabilities, is an important part of life!

 

When I first started blogging, I didn't even share my posts with anyone...literally no one knew I was doing it.  I was just typing my thoughts out into the void, and it was a way for me to mentally process things or organize my thoughts on a subject.  In the early days, it was also a way for me to feel connected with other Pagans and witchy folks (weird I know, especially since I didn't tell anyone about it, but it still made me feel like my voice was getting out there).

Along the way, I've done several blogging projects, which have helped me connect even further with other bloggers and pushed me to expand my own blog...in ways that I often resisted (like adding photos to my posts...or actively sharing them in a way that hopefully promoted conversation about the topic with other people).

And it's been something that helped me feel meaningful, both as a writer and as a Pagan.  I was able to put my thoughts and opinions out there, in my own space, and talk about the stuff I wanted to talk about.  I always love when people mention bits that really stuck with them or ideas that they hadn't considered (but were really excited about).

But, after 530 blog posts (yes, I did the math lol), I've been feeling like I'm starting to repeat myself.  I try very hard to only revisit topics if I have something new to say, but it's definitely been a struggle in the past few years, to think about what I want to write about.  I've always tried to keep my blog kinda politics free (which definitely shifted around 2020, and I ended up talking about more topics that were both controversial and related to current events).  

Mostly though, it was becoming to feel more tedious than exciting.  I'd plan out my topics and pre-write blogs (because that helped my brain feel less burdened by the bits that were less exciting to me), but blog writing became something that I did because "I was supposed to"...and not so much because I was passionate about it.

On top of that, with my new job, my time and energy has been severely limited.  Over the past few months (since I started working), I've managed to keep my blog going, but it's definitely been a task I don't look forward to...and I don't want that to be the energy of my blog!

I feel like this is the point where I often try to be stubborn, to push myself beyond what I should be doing, and convince myself that because "I can handle it" that I should be doing it.  But just because we are capable of doing a thing doesn't mean it's healthy for us!  

So even though it feels bittersweet, I know that it's time for me to retire from blogging.  ((at least for the moment...because who knows what the future will bring, I am not saying I will never blog again, but for right now, this is something I need to set aside))  With my time being more limited, I have to decide which things are a priority for me, and I want to focus on my personal path right now.

One of the ways I find very helpful to transition change is to make a formal acknowledgement of it...and that's a bit of what this post is.  It's my way of recognizing the end of this part of my life...and the start of something new.  My blog will still stay here (as long as Blogger is around hehe), and I hope anyone who is wanting a bit of witchy rambling will still poke through old posts and read things that seem interesting to them!

I appreciate each and every one of you who have ever read my blog...even if you are a lurker that I don't know about (I've done plenty of lurking in my day!)  The thought that someone might find value in what I've written was a big motivator for me, and I have loved reading comments, and interacting with readers over the years.  I am so grateful for all the people I've met along the way, and all the things I've learned:  about myself, about my path, and about the differences and similarities we all share.  I wish the very best for everyone, and hope the New Year brings a fresh start if you are looking for one (and that you have a smooth transition with anything you are setting behind).

May your days be filled with joy, laughter and learning, and your nights with sweet dreams and restful recovery!

Welcoming back the sun

 

 In the middle of winter, Yule is the time for us to welcome back the sun.  Today, we think of this as a symbolic gesture, we know that it is the moment when the days start getting longer again, and the sun will be out more, but our ancestors didn't know take this expectation for granted, and until they saw the signs of the longer days there remained that fear that maybe this year the sun would just keep getting less and less.  Welcoming back the sun was a heart-felt appreciation for the life and warmth it brings to our lives.

One common practice I see a lot of people embracing for Yule is to stay up all night (and literally welcome the sun back in the morning).  And while this can be a really powerful way to celebrate, it isn't necessarily accessible for everyone.  Obviously, some people work, and others may not be able to stay up all night for a variety of reasons (children, health issues, age).  A simpler practice would be to watch the sun rise, but even that may be difficult or impossible for many people.  

But while experiencing things in person may be an idealized practice, the truth is we live in a day and age where we aren't limited to that!  We can watch videos of the sunrise, or look at breathtaking pictures that capture that magical moment.  We can read poems that put emotions into words, or read other descriptions of the wonder of sunrise.  It can be really eye opening to read about other people's experiences, to be able to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and see what the shared experience of sunrise means to people who live very different lives from ours.

We might also take this opportunity to do a bit of journeying, and to wonder about how our ancestors might have approached this time of year.  It's one thing to think about the hardships they might have faced, and another to try to put ourselves in their place.  Doing a visualization and stepping into the role of one of our ancestors can not only open our eyes but can teach us so much about how similar (and different) we are.  

I have always thought that one of the hardest things for us to really grasp is how uncertain things felt.  People made up stories to try to explain all the mystery of the world around them.  They noticed that the sun rose and set at different times throughout the year, and they didn't understand why, but as the months grew colder and the sun was out less, it was only natural to worry that maybe this year it wouldn't come back (especially if you also consider that they felt that gods were present in the world around us and that we could displease them in a way that would make them lash out to punish us).

Trying to put yourself back in that situation, to really feel how it must have felt (or at least as close as we can come to understanding it) not only brings us closer to our ancestors, but it gives us a unique perspective on some of our modern fears (I may not worry about the sun not rising in the morning, but I have definitely thought about the effects of our sun one day dying, or other catastrophic events that science has told us are possible).  It makes me feel comforted to know that one day, perhaps one of my decedents will wonder how I could possibly worry about things like that (because they may have figured it out and know how things work).  It reminds me of the idea that any science significantly advanced enough will appear to be magic (and also that maybe one day what we see and practice as magic might be fully defined and understood as science!)

I also feel like the sun has a very different role in our lives today than it did in times past.  If you go far enough back, the sun was the only reliable source of light, and so it's cycles truly dictated our ancestors lives.  Even back before the advent of electricity, light at night was not always accessible (or abundant), and people lived much of their lives at the mercy of daylight.  Today, we are not as limited, and yet we still find ourselves drawn to the light, and especially when something like daylight savings time comes by and we notice the big shift (and it is now dark in the afternoon...) and we feel off kilter.

Even when it comes to electric lights, we are constantly striving to make our lights more natural and realistic (or we run in the other direction with things like color changing LED lights).  We know that indoor lights are not created equal, and many people struggle with different qualities of light.  We also know that actual sunlight is important for many health reasons (from our sleep cycle to emotional regulation and mental well being).

So even though we don't worry about the sun not rising in the morning when we go to bed at night, we need to acknowledge the important role that the sun plays in our lives.  It warms us and lights our way and grows our food and it is nice to have this time dedicated to acknowledging that and taking the time to not only show our gratitude but to also express our appreciation to the light for all it does in our lives. 

Winter storms

 

 Mother Nature isn't always gentle and kind, as we see in storms of all kinds.  But winter storms have the added effect of lingering, and can last days...or more!  Even today, winter storms can cause a lot of devastation, interrupt our lives and even prove deadly.  And that is even with all our advances in modern science, for our ancestors this time of year would have been even more dangerous.

But while storms can create unexpected tragedy, they are also undeniably powerful, and we can tap into that power for many purposes.  As with most storm work, storms can be unpredictable, so stay mindful of that as you prepare for your work.

When we think about work our ancestors might have done with storms, we often think of protection and destruction as the two main focuses.  Protection was mainly focused around protecting you and your loved ones (and property) from the storm itself, where with destruction work you were using the storm as a representation of the destruction you were wanting to cause.

Today, while protection work is still quite valid, it may just look a little different from what our ancestors would consider.  In most cases, it would take a historic storm to do more than inconvenience most of us.  Even when we loose power, we have resources at our disposal now to help make sure we are taken care of.  With cell phones, we often don't even loose communication, which can be quite problematic when talking about being snowed in.

But even though we may not have the same deep seated fears about the effects of storms, we still want to avoid the worst they have to offer, and would welcome help in not being too effected by them.  So along side tapping into the storms energies to protect you and your household, consider also the myriad of ways your life will be effected by the storm.  While I can absolutely manage in my house without internet, I'd rather not have that limitation, so protecting my connection to the outside world is something I work towards.  On a similar thought, while we could probably survive for months on the food in our house, I like having the option of outside food, so I also work to keep the roads clear and safe (because we live in a place that doesn't get a lot of winter storms, so people aren't great at driving in winter weather).

I also really enjoy opening myself up to the energy of storms, as I find that it often lets me express feelings that I bottle up inside.  Especially in the winter, with all the holidays and events and obligations (and gifts!) weighing us down, we can become quite frustrated with having to stay in good cheer all the time (because you aren't allowed to be grumpy during the holidays, right?)  Try opening yourself up to the energy of the storm, and have some good tools of self-expression handy for whatever comes up.  You might feel inspired to do art to express what your are feeling, or you may want to write/type about the experience instead.  If you have a witchy (or just open-minded) friend you trust you might do this together and you can talk about how it felt afterwards (as well as doing any other activities, together or later when you are alone).

If you do end up being snowed in, I think that is a very special kind of energy as well.  I know the Pandemic has altered many people's thoughts about being 'stuck home', and I know that as adults we often have trained ourselves to look at what we 'should be doing', but I have always seen being snowed in as I did when I was a child...it's a free day!  Yes, you can't do the things you had planned to do, and often you are quite severely limited in what you can do....but that just means that you now have no plans for the day!  It's the perfect day to just play (whatever that means to you...it might mean playing a game, reading, watching something, doing a hobby, crafting.....and bonus points if it is something you 'always meant to try' or 'never have time to do').

Divination is always a fun activity to do, whether you want to tap into the energy just before the storm starts, at it's height, or in it's aftermath, each provides you an opportunity to explore a part of your life that isn't ordinary.  Just prior to a storm, there is often that stillness and a sense of something about to happen.  We can get a similar experience sometimes in life around a powerful event.  So this would be a good time to look for clarity on big changes in your life, especially in what you can do to prepare for them.  In the middle of the storm, you are caught up in all the drama of everything that is going on, and sometimes it can feel hard to slow down enough to think.  Here you might ask about what the best course of action is, and how to move yourself into a safe space where you can have the time you need.  And after the storm, we are often just so overwhelmed with the sense of loss that we can't figure out what we need to do to recover or how to start moving past it.

 

So, when winter hits, and you feel that stillness in the air, get ready for any storms that might be approaching.  Think about how you want to work with each storm that comes your way, for each one is an opportunity to connect with the storm and use it's energy to enhance your life.  Whether you simply want to stay safe and protected or whether you want to ride the storm and see where it takes you, remember to not only take appropriate magical precautions, but also all the physical ones as well.

Unseasonable weather

 

 When it comes to both holidays (like Yule) and seasons, we grow up with certain mental images of what the world should look like.  I'll be speaking from a Norther Hemisphere perspective, as that's where I've always lived, but I will touch on how this effects our world view (in regards to places that experience seasons differently).  For me, Yule (and winter) have always been about cold and snow.  I was absolutely the kid that wished for a white Xmas (and only ever got one!)

Even as an adult, I want winter to be cold and snowy (rainy winters are just cold and miserable, I'd much rather it be seriously cold and frozen because that never feels as cold to me as when you are wet).  And when it's warm enough out to wear shorts, it just doesn't feel right.  Which is kind of ironic considering I lived in Hawaii for a while, and both winter and Xmas there are quite warm!

I think it's really easy to pin all our expectations on things like the weather, and to feel like 'it's not really Yule unless it's cold and snowy out'.  But that can lead us to feel unsatisfied with how the world is (because we are continually comparing it to 'the way it should be' and of course reality rarely compares to our idealized fantasy world).  And we shouldn't let our expectations ruin our holiday experiences, even if they aren't quite what we wished for.

So how do you reconcile your holiday dreams with the reality of what is?  I think one thing that really helps is to look for the good in what you have.  If it's not snowing, maybe you can go for a nice walk and appreciate the stillness of winter.  If it's cold and rainy it might be the perfect day to cuddle up in a blanket with a hot beverage of your choice and watch a cozy movie (maybe even one with snow!)  

House decorations can play a big part in this as well.  I have snowflake window clings that live on my windows most of winter, to make up for the fact that I live somewhere with (typically) very little snow.  Things like tinsel mimic the sparkle of sun on snow, and can also call up holiday feelings for many.

And of course we can get creative with crafting!  When I lived in Hawaii, we would use sand instead of snow, so we might make 'sand angels' or build a sandman (or make a driftwood tree, like in the picture above!)  Art can be a wonderful way to create a seasonal feel when the outside doesn't match your mental image of the season.  There are tons of seasonal craft projects you can find online, for many different areas of the world, so a bit of exploring will get you lots of options!

I also think that sometimes it's fun to explore our feelings about seasons feeling out of phase.  For example, if I were to take a trip to Australia for the holidays (where it is summer in December instead of winter), it can be a fun mental experiment to lean into the differences.  See how local people celebrate things and allow yourself to participate without expectations (try not to judge things in comparison to what you are used to, rather simply enjoy what they have to offer and appreciate them for their own merits).  Often if we can simply stop comparing and stop expecting sameness we will find that the experience we have is unique and amazing and will be something we will remember for years to come (because it was so different from what we are used to).

I think especially from a Pagan perspective, with so many of our holidays based on seasonal observances (and often from a European part of the world so not even necessarily in tune with the seasonal shifts where we actually live), there can be a disjointedness in how we experience celebrations.  And this might mean we have to step away from the associations we learned and instead embrace what the world in our neck of the woods does at different times of the year.  Exploring this connection to the world outside your door can be a powerful thing!

Wherever you life, and however you celebrate, if you find yourself feeling a bit down because you 'wish it was more like...(whatever you are comparing things to)' try to stop judging and just be open to what is.  Find ways to bring a bit of that seasonal magic into your home and celebrations, whether that means decorating to suit or spending some time doing seasonal crafting.  Nothing in nature is perfect, and it is those imperfections that make for amazing experiences, so don't sell yourself short by only accepting perfection!

Slowing down and turning inward

 

 One thing that has changed dramatically over the years is how much the seasons effect us.  Modern technology has allowed us to live as if the world were the same every day, year round.  Our ancestors didn't have that luxury.  When winter came, their whole life changed.  There were lots of things they could no longer do, and much like the natural world, they worked hard during the rest of the year so that they would have the resources to manage the winter, and as a result they had more free time in the winter months.

This time would often be spent connecting with each other, listening to stories (and learning from the past), and thinking deep thoughts.  This is something I feel we have lost so much with our modern 24/7/365 paced lifestyle.  We no longer have these fallow times where we can let go of our burdens and simply be.  We don't have time every year to contemplate our lives or the things that are important to us.  Sometimes we can't even find time to sit with our own thoughts for a few minutes.

But that kind of decompression time is necessary!  And introspection is a very healthy practice for everyone that I firmly believe we don't do enough anymore (especially with so many distractions constantly at our fingertips with phones and computers and on demand content of every kind).  It's a sad fact that many people can't stand to simply sit with themselves for even a few minutes.

And I know that we are all busy, and trying to cram as much as possible into every second because we know how precious time is.  But this is one of those things that seems like a 'waste of time' but actually gives us so much more!  

Taking time to rest, to dream, to think and to simply be has amazing restorative properties!  I often think of this kind of practice as a form of meditation, and so much has been written about the benefits of meditation, even if you can only squeeze in a few minutes here and there.  It's one of those practices that I feel that any attempts have benefits, and that no matter where you are in life, you can add in a bit of stillness and be better for it.

If we are really honest with ourselves, sometimes we do things just to fill the void.  I find myself scrolling social media or searching for something to watch ALL the time.  And I'm definitely not suggesting that we never do these things, as sometimes distraction or mindless entertainment is exactly what we need.  But we can also shave a little time off of these kind of things and give ourselves space to simply be.

One of my favorite times to start with are those little moments of waiting we have scattered throughout our day.  If we are stuck in a line, don't pull out your phone and start filling that time, but simply allow yourself to think.  If you are cooking dinner and waiting for a pot to boil, sit down, have a sip of water and let your mind wander.

I should note, I think it's important to really let yourself play with this time.  Do your best to not focus on your to-do list or worry about that thing that someone said to you. Let yourself walk down memory lane (but think about positive memories, or at the very least memories with lessons).  

Journaling can also be a great way to turn inward.  If you haven't tried stream of thought journaling, I highly recommend it!  You may find yourself thinking you don't have anything to write about, so start with that!  Grab a pen and just write "I don't know what to write about..." and then keep going.  Any thought that comes to your mind goes on your paper.  Spend a few minutes doing this, and then read back what you wrote (actually I love going back to old journals, reading entries, and then writing my current thoughts about what I had written before...it's a great way to dig deeper into things or just observe your own growth).

It's very easy, especially with holiday season looming ever closer, to find small delays frustrating and to be focused on how far behind we fell or our giant to-do list, but every moment you can stop the rush and the overthinking and just let yourself breathe and exist and think is a precious gift, and you may be surprised to realize how much reclaiming these small moments does to make you feel more refreshed and less weighed down by the hustle and bustle of modern life.

Our relationship with food

 

When we think of food holidays, Thanksgiving is often top of the list.  While it definitely has a questionable history, in the modern era it has become an excuse to stuff yourself on more food than we should probably be eating.  And (in the US at least), we have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food, not only when we think about the types of foods we eat but also the quantities.

Portion size is a huge problem in many parts of the world.  In some places, 'traditional' foods were designed for people who were going out to work hard labor all day, and so needed a hearty, calorie rich meal to see them through.  While of course many people still do labor intensive jobs, many of our modern jobs aren't as physical as they used to be (especially for anyone who has a desk job or works at the computer all day), and so our dietary needs can be quite different from our ancestors.

We also have access to a TON more processed foods, foods high in things we don't need a ton of:  salt, sugar and fat.  Yes, these things are highly craveable, addictive and enjoyable to eat, but they shouldn't be the bulk of our diet.  Sadly, for many people, these foods are also more affordable and available, and if you are limited in budget or depending on where you live (and how much time/money you have to spare just traveling to find better food options), you may be stuck with trying to do the best you can with whatever processed foods you can afford and manage to purchase.

The real kicker about healthy food options is most people know (at least in general) what foods are healthy and which ones aren't so good for us.  But we have been socialized to crave the less healthy foods, and simultaneously shamed for eating them (which leads to a lot of complicated emotions and often some negative self-talk, even if you are honestly doing your best to eat in a way that is good for you and within your budget).

One of the first things I think that we need to do, to repair our relationship with food, is to really look at which foods you like (and don't like)...and why.  I also feel that it is important to keep trying foods we may not be super excited about, as I have found there are quite a lot of foods that I enjoy when prepared a specific way, but don't really care for when prepared in other ways.  Many people haven't enjoyed foods at their prime or prepared in a way that really highlights their best qualities, and so they think they don't like things that they very well may love (if cooked the right way).

But of course we all have personal preferences as well, so there may be dishes that we will never enjoy.  And sometimes those foods are part of a 'traditional' spread, and so we feel more guilt when things like Thanksgiving roll around and we are torn with deciding whether or not to cook and eat the traditional foods (that we don't enjoy) or breaking from tradition and making foods we relish.  Personally, I'm never a fan of eating foods because we 'should' (with the very small exception of religiously significant bites, but even then, if it's a huge no for you, then it's a no!).

This is a bit more complicated when we talk about family, especially if you have a family that really gets into tradition and is hosting a family dinner where you know there will be dishes you don't care for (but you may be expected to eat because "Aunty worked really hard to cook this for us all, and you need to be polite and eat it and tell her how much you like it").  This is one place where I think we ALL need to do better.  We can politely decline (and bring a dish that we know we will enjoy eating if we also know there will be a lot of foods we won't wish to eat), and we can be understanding when someone prefers not to eat something we have made, no matter how hard we worked on it.

I also want to talk a little bit about something I've recently been learning about:  safe foods.  For some people, food is more than just a matter of not liking something.  Food distress can be intense, can stop people from eating certain foods and can lead to a lot of food related mental health issues.  Safe foods are ones that are quite literally that:  safe.  They are often foods that are processed (because they are made the same way, and thus you can expect the experience of eating them will be how you remembered it, as opposed to things like fruit which can vary highly depending on how ripe they are or things like that).  

Safe foods often remind me a bit of comfort foods (and a safe food can definitely be a comfort food!).  Comfort foods are ones that we turn to when we aren't feeling so good and just want to feel cozy and cared for.  Quite often they are either indulgent (like a guilty pleasure), or have strong memories attached to them (like the soup your mom always made for you when you were sick).  And we can give ourselves guilt about these foods too, even as we seek them out for comfort (especially if your comfort food is one that is not technically 'healthy').

We should try to have the best relationship with food that we can, and also try to not beat ourselves up for the ways in which our eating habits aren't ideal.  This may look like trying small bits of new foods, even if you are unsure, and it may also mean not letting yourself feel bad for turning to a safe or comfort food.  It means being mindful of how you eat, and how you think about the way you eat, and how society's views on how you eat impact your mental health.

While there are a million people out there who may try to tell you how and what you should be eating, at the end of the day, you are responsible for feeding yourself, and only you can know how the foods you eat truly effect you.  Part of being an adult means being honest with yourself about your actions, your motivations and your thoughts, and trying to improve (even just a tiny amount) when you can.

So keep that in mind this Thanksgiving, or at any other family dinner, feast or even meal you eat by yourself:  that you not only get to decide what you want to eat, but you must live with the consequences of those choices.  And you are the only one who can balance your needs, cravings and desires.  It may not be easy, but if you work on it, you may just find that your life is improved by your willingness to work on your relationship with food.

Leaf Magic

 Autumn is here in my part of the world, and that means gorgeous falling leaves!  Leaves are such a great resource for magic, and with the colors changing for fall, there are even more options available to us.  Not only do we have the variations in shape and species, but now we have color options as well...just one more variable to play with.

One of the first practices I remember that involves leaves was simply using them as a way to release things that no longer serve us.  So many trees loose their leaves each year, and that is a lesson we can learn, that no matter vital a thing may seem to us, we may find a time where we have to let them go and trust that when we need them again, we will have them.  But even for things that are clearly not a benefit to us, we can sometimes cling out of fear (the foe I know versus the unknown) or simply out of habit.  Find a leaf that feels like it fits what you want to release, and charge it with your intention (you can whisper to it, write on it, or just hold it between your hands and visualize transferring the thing you are releasing into it), and then hold it up and let the wind take it away.

For a bit more of a punch, you can burn leaves to really remove things from your life.  For this, I like writing one thing on each leaf, one thing that I want gone.  It can be really liberating feeling to sit down with a pile of leaves and just do a bit of a mental inventory, to see what in your life you would want free from.  Keep writing things until you run out of ideas, and then sett up a fire source.  Remember, dry leaves are both light and flammable so make sure you take the appropriate fire safety precautions, and then one by one burn your leaves. 

Leaves can also be used as messengers (along with any number of seeds that are designed to float on the wind, like maple seeds or dandelion puffs).  Speak your message into the leaf, and then think about who you want to send the message to.  The nifty thing about this is that fallen leaves can be thought of as being in a limbo state...they are dying, and thus can also cross the barrier between worlds, so you can use them to send messages to people who are no longer with us.  When you have the one you want to communicate with firmly in mind, release the leaf and let it carry it's message away.

 

I really enjoy utilizing the features of an object to enhance my magic, and one feature that leaves have is veins.  These veins can represent a lot of things.  You could use leaf veins to do family work, using them as a representation of your family tree.  We also have veins, so you can use them for healing work (especially anything to do with blood flow in your body, or our nervous system).  The veins fork and branch, so they can be used to help navigate situations where you have a lot of choices (consider writing different options on different parts of the leaf and then casting onto the leaf to see how different options will go for you).

 

Which leads us firmly into leaf divination.  You can divine with leaves in all sorts of ways.  You might like to gather leaves from a variety of plants around your home, and keep them in a bowl.  When you want some guidance, you can pick a leaf from your bowl, and then look to the plant it came from for your answers (which is also a great way to become more familiar with plants local to your area!).  You can toss a leaf in the air and interpret how it falls, or light part of it on fire and read the burn patterns, you can crumble a leaf and scatter the bits and read how they land, and you can always look for images and signs in the colors of the leaf.

 

Leaves can be a unique starting point for intentional art!  Especially with the wide range of colors, shapes and unique properties that make each leaf different.  You might gather a bunch of leaves and use them to create collage art.  Or you might search out individual leaves and trace art in the patterns of color found in each leaf.  You could trace leaves and use those shapes to be creative (turn the leaf outline into funny animals or whimsical houses).  If you apply paint directly to a leaf, you can use it as a stamp!  You can even pound the pigment from leaves onto paper or cloth (lay out wet leaves in a pattern on the paper or cloth you want to pigment, put another piece of paper over them to cover and use a hammer to transfer the pigment).  And with any of these art projects, you can set an intention as you work on them, write out an issue and art over it, or simply play with the process as a way to sink into sacred space.

 

 If you want to create meaningful fall decor, consider using leaves as a way to celebrate gratitude.  For this, you can use real leaves, fake leaves or make leaves out of paper or cloth (or anything you like!).  You can string them on garlands and hang them in your home, or keep/attach them on branches and arrange them like a bouquet.  On each leaf, write something you are grateful for.  This can be a great activity for a family night or friend gathering, letting everyone contribute and share the things they are grateful for.

And we can also tap into our childhood by playing with leaves!  Make a small pile and kick it about or jump into it.  Make patterns in fallen leaves, or use fallen leaves (and other natural bits) to make mandalas.  Use sticks and leaves to make little people and create scenes with them.  Have a leaf fight with a friend!  Just allow yourself to tap into your inner child and play!

There are a ton of things we can do with leaves, and so many ways to fold them into our practice.  And you may find, that by trying some of these activities, you think of new ways to work with leaves!  Embrace the season and see how you can use leaves in your practice.

Hollow Holidays

 

 There are a lot of holidays we celebrate, whether religious or not, that have become nothing more than an excuse to party (and maybe get time off work/school).  But treating holidays as nothing but reasons to party means we loose a lot of what made them important in the first place.  If we are going to celebrate something, celebrate it!  This doesn't mean we can't have a party or enjoy ourselves, but some of our time should be spent actually doing something relevant to the reason for the holiday.

Take Veteran's day, for example.  Many people observe Veteran's day in name only.  Maybe they fly a flag or visit graves (though that really is more of a Memorial day thing), and many places do offer discounts for Veterans (or a complimentary meal, which is lovely), but quite a lot of people don't do anything that either helps or remembers our Veterans.  And sadly we do this for a lot of other holidays as well.

There are a lot of ways we can celebrate with action instead of just window dressing.  It all starts with looking into the whys of a holiday.  What does it celebrate, why did it become a holiday, who does it honor?  And often looking into the whys uncovers a whole trove of historical activities we can do that tie into the roots of the celebration!  We don't have to follow historical traditions by rote either, we can totally update and modernize our observances, but knowing how people used to do things can help us continue to uphold those traditions, in our own way.

As witchy folks we have even more ways of taking action that supports a holiday.  We can include spells and rituals designed to create change in ways that align with the holiday we are celebrating.  We can share stories and raise awareness (because the more people who understand why our holidays are important, the more people there are that might also act in a way that affirms the meaning of the holiday).

Even something as simple as taking a moment to talk about why the holiday was started can create a meaningful moment.  We can tie in that meaning to our decorations and leisure activities too, much like if you look into the history of Halloween or Winter holiday decorations you can learn about the traditions and folklore that inspired them.  With added intention, our decorations can become more than just pretty things to hang about, they can build layers of understanding all around us.

 

I feel like some people think that honoring a holiday makes it less 'fun' or means they can't relax and have a good time.  And there may be holidays that are more solemn for you as you learn more about them.   But I don't think we loose anything by having less reasons to party (and honestly, if you want to have a party, just have a party, no need to tie it into an observance that may be very heart-wrenching for others).  Taking the time to honor both the good and the bad lets us appreciate the good times even more, because we have those darker moments to contrast them against.  

It's also okay to recognize that some holidays are mixed blessings.  They may not be so black and white, fun or serious, but they may have bits of both.  And we can build time for serious reflection and time for boisterous fun into our celebrations...if we understand the many facets that make up a holiday.  In fact, this can create some truly memorable holidays, by leaning into the complexity of the holiday instead of just picking one part of it and turning it into a caricature.

The more layers of meaning we invest in a celebration, the more nuanced our celebrations become.  We can enjoy them on multiple layers, and not only have a wonderful experience with family and/or friends, but also have meaningful times to reflect on different issues or moments in time.  We can turn what was once a hollow holiday into a time of true connection.

Holding paradoxes

 

 When you stop to think about it, Faith is all about embracing paradoxes.  Faith asks us to believe in things we can't see, and can't prove (by traditional means).  And often, Faith and Science don't exactly agree.  But the thing is that both Faith and Science can hold paradoxes within them, and sometimes it's okay if you have conflicting thoughts and beliefs.

One of the areas I see a lot of discussion about is in deciding what is 'real'.  Especially when it comes to things like magic or spirits, people can get very caught up in wanting to prove that things are 'real', the same way that we experience the mundane world around us.  And I think there is great value in looking for mundane explanations first, ruling out the expected before we turn to the unexpected.  But I also think that many spiritual concepts just can't be quantified and proven...and that's okay.

I often think about this when I think about divinity.  I believe that the divine (God, Gods, higher self, Nature...however you conceive of divinity) exists in a way that is beyond our human understanding.  We ask questions, because that is how we come to understand things, but we don't always get answers (or we might not get the concrete answers we want), and sometimes that makes people uneasy.  For me, I embrace the paradox of believing in something that can't be proven but can only be felt.  It's like trying to prove to someone else that you are feeling something.  You can explain it with a million words, but they just have to take your words as truth, because we have no way of actually sharing our experiences directly with someone else.

I do tend to think of myself as a very science minded person.  I love logic, and I like things to make sense, which can sometimes be very frustrating when it comes to spiritual matters.  There are a lot of things that I have had to learn to take on faith, to understand that they work because they work, and I may not ever know why they work or how they work, but that has to be enough.

For me, one thing that I always come back to is the idea that even if I'm wrong, even if the gods I pray to don't exist....my spiritual practice brings me peace and joy, and that has value.  The rituals that I observe give me a way to deal with things in my life that I don't have a lot of other options for dealing with, and that has observable benefits in my life.  So even if I'm completely deluding myself, the things I do are beneficial to my life, and so in one sense it doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, my path is still good for me.

And this is another place that paradox fits into my path.  I am constantly questioning my own practices and results.  I am looking for the ways in which I may be playing into my own desires.  Divination is a perfect example of this.  I read mostly for myself, and a lot of people (rightly) question whether your own internal bias will effect how you interpret cards for yourself.  I lean into this idea, and when I draw cards for myself, and I get a strong feeling about a meaning, I also ask myself if I am just seeing what I want to see in the cards (instead of seeing what is there).  I find that this helps me go deeper, because I question my own results, and through that process I uncover a lot about how I am thinking and feeling about a situation.

 

It is my personal opinion that questioning the things you believe in doesn't weaken your faith, but rather it makes it stronger.  I don't want to blindly follow, I want to question and poke at things and then make an informed choice.  And sometimes that means ignoring all the evidence to the contrary and taking that leap of faith, and sometimes it means adjusting my beliefs because the experiences I have don't line up with what I've been taught to believe. 

At the end of the day, my faith should serve my life.  I will always question, and I will always look for both the mundane and the fantastical explanations for things.  I will embrace the paradoxes of my faith, because I feel that strengthens my beliefs and gives me a stronger base on which to grow.  I will acknowledge the ways in which my path sometimes doesn't make logical sense...but still works for me.  And that is what is most important...that what you do works for you.

Remembrance through food

 

 At Samhain, we often share a meal, and many people set out a place for those who have passed.  And while many people feel certain foods are traditional, and like to make them, we can also make foods that remind us of those who have gone before, as a way to honor and remember them.

Food is such an integral part of our lives, and is very strongly related to memory.  I have so many food-related memories, and now when I eat certain foods I am reminded of people in my life. Some of those memories are from sharing food with people, but I also connect people to food because they taught me to make a certain dish.  And I have a few recipes that were passed down in my family, so even though I never knew the person myself, I can keep their memory alive by cooking their recipes.

I love the idea that we can pass on food memories as well.  If I cook a dish for a friend, and it's one I learned from my family, I can share my stories with them, and now they will have some of that memory to hold onto.  It makes me realize how connected we all are, and even though we may not share a blood line, we can forge connections to other people's ancestors and share in the memories they have left behind.

I also think that food creates a legacy, even if you don't know the stories.  It's a way for us to leave behind a little bit of ourselves, something that either we loved or we created, and people who knew us will be able to enjoy the same foods we loved after we are gone.  It brings me comfort to think that my son will think of me when he eats certain dishes, and if he has kids, maybe they will eat dishes and pass their love of them on.  Even once my name is forgotten, there will be that tie of food down through generations, and that is pretty nifty to me.

However, if you want to create more of a connection, it can be really lovely to create a meal of dishes that have emotional meaning to you, and to tell the stories about why you love these dishes with the other people eating with you.  You also don't have to limit yourself to those who have passed on.  By including the living, you create more connections between people, both here and gone.  And you might be surprised at how sharing your memories around food can surprise others...sometimes the things that we find the most meaning in may be missed by other people, even if they were involved.

I love hearing about how my friends and family have been affected by my role in their life, and I think it's important that we tell other people how we feel while they are still here to hear it.  But don't fret, you can still acknowledge other's impact in your life after the fact, and I find that taking the time to recognize how someone has influenced my life not only makes me grateful for those connections, but it reinforces in my brain the memories, keeping them alive in my heart.

And while this is something we may focus more on at Samhain, we needed restrict our adventures in food memories to just this time of year.  This is a lovely way to remember anniversaries (either of someone's birth or death, or any other significant date), by cooking a meal dedicated to a particular memory.  We can create memory feasts at any time that feels right!

And we don't even need other people to be present, if we want to have a private memory meal.  Especially if you are missing someone who either has passed on or who doesn't live close to you.  You can plan a meal that reminds you of the person you miss, and treat it as if you were sharing the meal with them.  Speak (or think) about them as you prepare and/or eat the food.  

Food is something we all share in common.  Everyone eats, and by sharing meals we connect with each other in ways that linger.  Whether we want to forge new memories (by sharing a feast with family or friends), remember those we've lost (and honor their memory through food) or feel connected to people who we don't get to see as often as we might like, food can be a powerful tool that lets us find our place in the world and share our memories with others.

Researching your path

 

One of the things I find so wonderful about Paganism is that there is so much room to personalize your path.  If you really love divination, you can dive deep into that, but if you don't care for it you don't really have to do it at all.  There are so many areas of interest that we can explore, and sometimes it can be daunting to try to figure out how to actually learn about a new subject that sounds interesting.

 

I think one of the first steps is to learn some basic information.  If you learn about something that sounds interesting to you, before you rush out and buy a bunch of stuff, dip your toes in.  Look up the topic and read some basic info online (for free!).  This will allow you to gauge if you are interested enough to pursue further study....or you may find out that the bit you read satiated your curiosity and now you are content to not explore it further.

 

It's important to remember that deciding not to study a topic right is not only perfectly fine, but it doesn't close any doors!  Not every subject is going to be interesting to you, and you may have thought something was going to be different and as you learn a bit about it, you realize it's not what you thought it was, or it just doesn't hold your interest enough.  You may find yourself drawn back into the topic later, and it might be more compelling then.  You can always choose to come back to things you passed by previously...and sometimes the timing just isn't right when you first learn about a topic, and later you are more suited to actually dig in and see what it's all about.

 

Once you have decided to look further into something, it's time to find more resources.  There are often a ton of resources online, and sometimes quite a few books on the topic.  But not every source is created equal, and I find it good to not only check reviews, but to ask around for other people's suggestions.  Even in very public groups, asking for recommended reading can give you a lot of insight...pay attention to sources that multiple people recommend, and try to avoid the ones that people seem to tell you to stay away from.

 

*note:  I personally like reading both good and bad books on some topics, but I keep mindful of the ones that have a bad reputation...I like knowing what types of misinformation or harmful stereotypes are out there.  Your mileage may vary, but getting recommendations from the community can help you get a sense of what is generally considered useful information and what might be misleading or even downright harmful.

 

When asking for recommendations, it's always helpful to give a little context.  If you just starting to explore a subject, ask for beginner sources!  Many topics can get quite complex, and starting off with a more advanced source can be frustrating or downright impossible to make headway in.  Many advanced books assume you already have a certain level of understanding on the subject, and may gloss over basic concepts, so having your foundation in place first is important!  But, if you get more advanced suggestions of really good sources, it might be useful to keep a list of those, so that when you get more familiar with the subject you have some good ideas of where to look to deepen your knowledge and understanding.

 

I also have learned that when you are reading something and a really unique idea pops out, it can be helpful to cross-reference that idea with other books on the same subject.  Pagan topics can often include a lot of UPG (unverified personal gnosis...aka people's personal experiences or ideas).   The thing about UPG is that it can be amazing and thought provoking...and it can also completely contradict the generally understood information.  This is another of those things where being aware of what type of information you are consuming (is it UPG, is it historically sourced, is it fiction) can allow you to decide how to handle the information.

I'm of the personal opinion that much can be gained from UPG (or fiction, or other 'non-historical, non-traditional' sources), but I do always take them with a grain of salt.  There are a lot of topics that, if you take them far enough back, started out as UPG, and enough people shared the same types of experiences that eventually the ideas became tradition, and they have remained applicable throughout the years.  

The thing is that we deal with a lot of stuff that can't always be scientifically observed and measured.  What we experience in meditation is highly personal.  Our interactions with spirits or deities is often internal.  Even spellwork can be debated as to whether it's a matter of causation or correlation (aka is the result coincidence).

Ultimately, I think that no matter what you learn in a book, the value of information is how it works in your practice, so the final step for me is always "does it work for me."  I think it's important to remember the "for me" part of that...because we are all different and what works for one person may not work for someone else.  This is where UPG comes back in, and why I love hearing how other people do stuff.  It won't always work for me, but I enjoy trying things that others have recommended.

 

So, no matter what you are looking to learn more about, these are a few steps to help get you on your way, and to avoid some of the major pitfalls (and mental blocks) about exploring a new fork in your path.  For so many of us, there is always something new to explore and learn, and having some tips to help make the process smoother is always useful!  Don't be afraid to dabble in a bunch of things until you find the one that really grabs your heart and makes you want to learn everything you can!

Figuring out your spiritual needs

 

 One of the things I've always loved about Paganism is how much of it is very much 'choose your own.'  Sure, if you join a group or pursue degrees in an organization, there may be structure, but in our personal practice, there are no hard and fast rules or really anyone to tell us that we should (or should not) be practicing a particular way.

And in fact, this can be a struggle for a lot of people, both new and more experienced.  It's hard, because you kind of have to figure it out yourself, there is no guidebook to turn to when you have a question about how often to do a thing or whether one method is 'better' than another.  It definitely takes some getting used to, that every part of your practice is ultimately up to you.

I also think it complicates things that many resources out there suggest a way of doing things, but don't make it clear that it is JUST a suggestion!  I've read so many books that will introduce a practice, like meditation or reading tarot, and they will give suggestions on how often to do something, but not give a lot of options for if that one way doesn't quite work for you.

Meditation is a great example.  A ton of sources recommend meditating daily, often for between 10-30 minutes.  And for some people, that works great!  For others, it's too long, or too frequent.  Maybe you just don't have that much free time (and you don't want to spend what time you do have meditating!), or maybe you tried it and sitting for 30 minutes a day was just too much for your body.  

 

One saying I absolutely adore suggests that doing a thing at all is better than not doing it (often applied to difficult tasks, where we may not be able to do them perfectly or even completely, but doing a little is still better than not doing it at all).  In the case of meditation, if 30 minutes a day doesn't work for you, but you enjoy doing 30 minutes once a week on the weekend...do that!

Many people like to have a framework to start from, and books are great for that.  It used to be that Pagan books told you how to do things (as in they explained how to cast spells, how rituals were structured, how to ground), but didn't often suggest a plan for actually doing all the stuff.  However, in recent years, more books have come out with a plan, whether it is a way to build up practices or a full year of daily activities.

If those kind of things appeal to you, find one that seems enticing and give it a try!  I haven't seen a suggested plan yet that I feel I would be worse off for having tried it, even if it didn't work for my life.  So you really aren't out anything by giving things a go, and you might find that even if the whole plan doesn't work for you, bits of it do (and you can always keep the parts that work for you and let go of the rest!).

I think that having a rough idea of what you want your path to look like can help, so it may be useful to sit down and brainstorm about what spirituality means to you.  Are you looking for something with more structure, or do you need freedom to follow your whims?  Do you want daily practices that you can build on, or would you rather stick to bigger observations throughout the year (or both!)  How close of a relationship do you want with deities...or do you even want to work with any?  Do you want to work alone, with others or a combination?

These are a few, broad questions to start with, but anytime you learn something new, you can ask yourself how you see that fitting into your practice.  It might be that you want to start off learning a little bit about a bunch of different topics, just to see what interests you the most, or maybe you already have something you really want to dive deep into, and you can start planning out how you want to approach that study.

I feel like one thing to always keep in mind is that you are absolutely free to change your mind (and your practice!) at any given time.  You may have tried some things out, and realize that it's too much or not enough for your needs.  Adjusting how much time and energy you devote to this aspect of your practice can make it fit better with your life.  And remember, we are constantly changing, so our needs might change too...a practice that fits you now, might need adjusting in a few months, or even after decades of doing things a particular way.

 

Wherever you are on your path, spending some time to check in and see if your spiritual needs are being met (and are meshing with the rest of your life), can be a very helpful way to make sure you are living the best Pagan/witchy life you can.  And just taking a moment to think about whether you are doing enough, or too much, of anything can be a helpful starting point in figuring out just where that sweet spot is for you.  You may be surprised to find out that things that you thought were 'just fine' could actually use a little tweaking!

Brainstorming work

 

One of the things that I think takes the longest to get comfortable with is creating your own spells and rituals (or any practice really).  As much as I feel like Paganism embraces individualized and personalized practice, most books only go into the bare bones on how to build a working from the ground up, and many 101 books don't really talk about doing your own thing at all.  They just include a handful of premade spells and rituals, and often those don't really fit (because we are all individual, and we might live in a different country or time period from where the spell originated, which also makes things complicated).

 

I've always been a big fan of making your own spells (and for ease of wording, I'm going to say spells for the rest of this post, even though the same process can be used to build any spiritual working, from rituals to protections to Sabbats!), or at the very least tweaking the bits that don't work in spells you find out in the wild.  In my very early days I did work with spells straight out of books, and while it has a certain comfort level (because it's very easy to doubt your own capabilities), it was always like wearing hand-me-down clothes....they feel like they don't quite fit most of the time.

 

But writing your own spells can feel daunting, and for many people even figuring out where to start is an issue.  It's one of those weird things that feels like it should be talked about everywhere, and yet it's not, and when it is talked about, it's in a very bare bones kinda way (I mean even this blog post won't be as complete an explanation as might be wanted, but it's more extensive than a lot of the 'how to write your own spells' sections we see in books). 

The start is always the why...why are you doing a spell.  Note, I don't start with what you want to seek, because I feel like the why is always more important than the what.  The why will lead to the what (and sometimes, as you explore the why, you discover that you are actually needing to work towards a different what than you thought you did!)

So start by asking yourself why, and really dig in here.  If you wanted to make a spell to get a job, why are you looking for a job (do you want money, more excitement in your life, a chance to do something creative, or are you just bored).  Notice, that all of those things could be reasons to find a job...but many of them lead to very different types of jobs.  Knowing the why of your spell will help inform every step of the process!

Sometimes the why will be straightforward, like if you have a friend who is sick and you want to do something to help them heal.  You care about your friend and you want them better, that is your why.  But sometimes the why is more elusive, like if you want to loose weight, your why might be that you want to be healthier, but it might also include wanting to look better (and feel sexier or more confidant) and that you want to be able to play soccer without feeling winded immediately.  You don't have to pick just one why, in fact exploring the many reasons behind your spell can help you create a much more inclusive working!

If you are struggling with understanding your why, it can be helpful to get outside advice.  This might mean turning to your favorite divination method, and spending some time journaling out your whys, or it might mean asking a trusted friend or loved one for their input.  Just remember, if you are talking to other people, that you want to not only ask someone who you trust (and who knows you), but also someone who isn't going to try to talk you out of doing your work (sometimes you can get advice on your why without explaining what specifically you are planning on doing, so take our job example, you might ask a friend what type of job they think you would enjoy without telling them you are planning on doing a spell for it).

Once you have your why, you can start to think about the main shape your spell will take.  There are tons of types of spells out there, from candle spells to jar spells to bag spells or simple fire and forget spells.  This is one place where reading examples (especially examples that are similar to what you are planning, so if you are wanting to heal a friend, looking at a selection of healing spells can give you a sense of what other people have found works, and that is a great place to start!).  You might also just like one method over another, and prefer to use it, and that's perfectly fine too!

Almost every spell includes correspondences of some sort, whether they are physical items, representations or simply words to be called upon.  This is where your whys really come into play.  You will want something to represent all of your whys, so if I am wanting to loose weight (to be healthy, to look sexy and to be able to enjoy soccer more), then I should have at least one thing to represent each of my whys.

I sometimes think of deities as a way to include more correspondences.  I have a pretty wide group of deities I work with, so I have a lot of choices for deities that will fit my spell.  And sometimes you can work with multiple deities for the same spell, though this can often require more planning (and some deities just don't work well together, so understanding how they interrelate is important too).  You don't have to call on a deity for your spells, and some people have a patron deity that functions like a catch-all for them, when it comes to calling on deities in a spell.

I also want to note that spell creation isn't necessarily something that needs to be done all at once, in one sitting or quickly.  It can be, and learning to create on the fly is somewhat of a different skill, but for the purposes of this blog post, don't feel like you need to rush the process.  Sometimes, I will let an idea stew in my head, and that helps me come up with connections and ideas that I might have otherwise missed.  If you are planning your spell like this, having a notebook or some spot to jot down your ideas and thoughts as they come can be really helpful!

And, your actual 'spell work' doesn't have to be done in one setting either.  Sometimes, we ritualize the prep, especially if you are making any kind of herbal blend, poppet, totem or amulet/talisman (which might need to be prepared ahead of time).  Your spell might also extend into the future (like when you burn a 7 day candle for a spell), or have reactivation activities (like shaking a jar spell when it needs a boost or charging a ward every full moon).  

With any spell work, I think it's important to not pressure yourself too much over the results.  You aren't a bad witch/Pagan if you do a spell and it doesn't work out.  It's not even necessarily that the spell didn't work...sometimes our spells are like trying to hold back the push of the ocean with just your hands....you might not have enough force to create the change you are working towards.  But every spell you do (especially those you create) help you become better at them in the future!

One thing that I think can be important (but often overlooked) when talking about spell creation is reflecting on, and adjusting, the spell after the fact.  Especially for something (like a healing spell) that you might want to use again in the future, taking the time to think about (and make some notes on) what went well and what didn't go as well as you would have liked, along with how the spell felt as you did it and the results afterward...these all help to let you refine the spell for future use.

 

Creating your own spells isn't as hard as it first seems, and the benefits are countless.  Not only does it give you the ability to tailor your spells to your exact needs, but it also gives you complete control over what you use to do your spell, what deities (if any) you choose to work with, and how complicated or simple you prefer your work to be.  I highly recommend anyone who hasn't made their own spells give it a try...it's not as scary as it sounds!

Complicated coorespondences

 

Correspondences are something that we use all the time in ritual and magic, and I have talked before about how there is a difference between universal associations (like how the heart symbol is understood to represent love), cultural associations (in the US green is associated with money, but not in all countries, especially if their money is another color), and then personal associations (white is not a good color for me).  But when we talk about correspondences, we typically are talking about categories.

What I mean by that is that if we think about apples as a correspondence, it often doesn't matter which apple.  Some people will differentiate between different types of apple (a green granny smith might give you different vibes than a red delicious, for example), but very rarely do we talk about individual meanings (if you have a bag full of all Fuji apples, are they really all the 'same').  

 

I always thought it was interesting, in a spirituality that personifies the world around us, we generalize and often act as if "all apples are the same' when it comes to their magical properties.  That's kind of like expecting "all people to be kind" or something ridiculous like that.

 

I know that it's all based on archetypes.  When we work with an apple, we are using that specific apple as a representative of the archetype of perfect 'appleness', and we have decided that the concept 'apple' means certain things, and that is how we use an apple.  But we can expand our understanding of apples (or whatever we are using), by looking for the qualities that the specific apple we are using exhibits.

 

 This is a bit of a crossover with mindfulness practice.  A very common mindfulness exercise is to eat an apple, but to pay attention to every aspect of the process.  First you look, and touch and smell, and as you eat you taste and listen.  And while there are many common factors, ways in which eating this apple will be similar to other apples you have eaten in the past, there are also always unique things to experience.

With magic, being able to notice those individual aspects opens the door to really being able to tailor our works to our needs.  Because we have the archetypal apple that we can always call on, the qualities of our specific apple can be added (or not) as we desire.  

But let's say, for example, our apple is like the one in the center of the picture at the top.  It has patterns on the skin that we can find images in.  We can examine the stem, look for blemishes, count the seeds inside....there are a ton of ways to explore an apple and find things that remind us of other things (and honestly, that is all a correspondence is...something our brain links to something else).

We could easily extend this process in reverse too, so when we are looking for an item to use in ritual, we can not just grab any apple, we can look for an apple that fits what we are doing.  I feel like many of us do this already, seeking out the 'perfect' item for spiritual use, but when we put active thought into it, we can recognize that 'perfect for this purpose' is different from an idealized version of what perfect means.

Like many things, this is something that becomes easier with use.  As we build up our personal associations, we learn to notice more with less effort.  We learn how to know what we need, and as we look at our choices, we can pick through them and feel for the one that best suits us.

Like any other mindfulness practice, this starts by slowing down and paying attention.  When you use items in your practice, really look at them.  Look at what makes them like others of their kind, and what makes them different.  Seek out those imperfections, and ask yourself what they mean to you.  The more you do this, the easier it will become, until it is almost second nature.

We often have a choice of what to use for our practice.  If you want to add another layer to your correspondence use, why not try taking the time to really look at your choices.  See each apple as unique, as an individual, and find the one that fits best. 

Balancing your practice

There is an old saying, "The witch who can not hex, can not heal."  And I think it's such a great example of the balance that we need in our lives, and our practices.  I also think it's interesting to note that it doesn't say that you SHOULD hex anyone, just that if you don't know how that hinders your ability to heal.  

Look, I'm not saying that in order to have a healthy spiritual practice that you need to delve into all the horrible things that are out there in the world (because we know that people do horrible things, often in the name of spirituality), but I am saying that if you refuse to see the darkness that is present in yourself and in your practice that you are keeping the blinders on and you can't be fully formed if you refuse to see all that there is to see.

All things in life have two sides, and much like a coin, there is no line separating the two....it is one coin, all that changes is your perspective...both sides are a part of the whole.  In every horrible thing, there is some spark of light, and in every wonderful thing there is some potential for badness.  It is by recognizing and accepting that bit that we can truly embrace the whole.

For most of us, shadow practice fills this role in our path.  It is a way we can work with the darker parts of ourselves..in a way that allows us to maintain our boundaries and remain in control of our actions.  But I also feel that doing shadow work on ourselves helps us to see those broken bits in other people...and to have compassion and understanding when dealing with behavior that is less than ideal.

It sucks, but sometimes we have to be the bigger person, and part of that is recognizing when someone is acting from a place of hurt.  It doesn't mean we have to accept their actions, but it definitely helps us balance our own mental health when we can see that the behavior isn't always intended, but sometimes a reaction to something else.  If we never look inside and seek out those broken bits of ourselves, we can't see them in other people either.

One of the things I've always loved about Paganism is that there is a place for the dark and the light in it.  We work with the cycle of the year, and with nature, and both have a time for growth...and a time for death.  There is darkness, harshness and pain in the natural world, but there is also light and joy and wonder.  Even our deities often have both good and bad sides to them, embracing both the positive and negative aspects of themselves.  And having complicated deities like this allows us to better accept that complexity in ourselves...because if even the Gods have dark sides, then ours don't make us bad people....just people.

When it comes to working with both the light and dark in your practice, I definitely think that turning to nature is very helpful.  We can look at the world and see how the things that we might have turned away from initially just fit.  Death, violence, fear...these things all have a place in the natural world.  Death creates change, which combats stagnation, and makes room for new growth.  Violence can be used for aggression, but also for defense, and among animals can help maintain social order and weed out those who can't work with the group.  Fear can be a tool to avoid violence or a way to encourage survival (animals often fear dangerous things like fire).

On a more personal level, learning to be grateful for things that are sometimes seen as negatives can help bring a more balanced perspective to your path.  When I do gratitude work, I am not always grateful for only things that are traditionally 'good'.   I am grateful for the bright spots in my life, but I am also grateful for the darkness.  At the start, I was mostly grateful for the ways my negative traits could benefit me (like I am pretty stubborn, and that means that once I get my head set on a thing, I'll work until it's done), but I have learned to be grateful for even the most rough parts of myself...simply because they are part of me.  I have a lot of mental struggles, but even though my life would be much easier without them...I wouldn't be me, so I am grateful for those hard parts of my self, and how they fit with the rest of me.

One thing to remember, is that balance doesn't mean equal.  You can find balance in all kinds of ways.  Balance might mean working the whole of a cycle, releasing or banishing something, then building up something new.  It might mean doing work to fight back against people who are trying to take advantage of you (especially if they are counting on the fact that they think you won't fight back).  It might mean forgiving yourself for allowing bad behavior towards you while reinforcing your boundaries so that it doesn't happen in the future.  It might mean cutting out people who refuse to accept their own darkness (because we aren't responsible for other people's work, only our own boundaries).

The world is full of both darkness and light, and without either one it would be a much worse place.  Finding a place for both the good and the bad (and sometimes the ugly) in our practice is one more way to embrace all that life has to offer.  Accepting the easy and hard parts of ourselves gives us the room to grow and become the amazing, incredible person we are meant to be and it also grants us the ability to see the complexity in other people and to accept them without compromising ourselves.  It is well worth it to explore what balance means to you, and to work that into your practice.  Because if your practice doesn't reflect all of you, and if you aren't whole inside....how can it meet all your needs?

Magical play

 

 Paganism definitely has a history of needing to defend itself as a serious practice.  Many people look at witchcraft as some form of make-believe, as if we all think that everything works like it does in movies and stories, where we can cast a spell and make something appear out of thin air or control people.  And I understand the desire to want to show that this is something deeply personal, highly meaningful and important to us.

But I don't feel that play detracts from the impact our faith has in our life.  And play is a great way to not only learn better, but to find joy in things that already have deep impact on our lives.  It can be a way to access that sense of childhood wonder that we often loose in adulthood.  Plus play is simply fun!  And there is no rule that says that important, meaningful things can't also be fun.

A lot of the practices and tools we use can also be used for play.  Something I've been doing as long as I can remember, far longer than I have been Pagan is daydreaming.  Now I might call it visualization, but sometimes it is literally just sitting and letting my brain play with fun ideas.  It's like playing a game of what if with yourself:  what if I was a cat, what if I could fly, what if I was three inches tall.  But daydreaming is also a great way to practice visualization in a simple and stress-free way.  Because if you can't quite picture it clearly, that is okay, there are no consequences (whereas if you are working to visualize something as part of a ritual, your goal might be harder to reach if you can't visualize what you want clearly enough).

I also think of reading (fiction) and watching shows as a form of play, and often this gives me ideas of things that I later incorporate into my practice.  Especially because I love watching/reading magical content, so if it has witches or magic in it, I am probably going to want to experience it.  Even stuff that doesn't specifically focus on magic can create connections between things that I can use in my practice, like when people have an in joke and it becomes a symbol for them...but now I can also use that symbol to represent something that I might not have connected it to before.  It's a bit like learning from old teaching stories....you might just love hearing the stories, but you still learn stuff.

Arts and crafts are another big play practice for me.  There is a reason why art therapy is such a big thing.  Simply making something, out of your own creativity, even if no one else understands the meaning you put into it...there is something magical about it.  The process of creation is one that many people don't have enough of in their lives, and taking time to embrace the creative process can be hugely empowering!  For me, art play is all about letting my inner child out, so I really lean into that idea, and I love breaking out crayons or simple kids paints and just picking whatever colors I feel and not worrying about whether or not it looks like what it is supposed to.  Coloring books can be a great place to start, especially for anyone worried about their artistic ability (but remember, it's play, so it's not about making the perfect thing, it's about having fun making something).

I personally find writing a super fun thing to do, and it is one of my favorite creative outlets.  With writing, I can create anything I want, and it can be a powerful way to explore things that I am unsure of.  It can also be a great way to vent about things that are upsetting me!  When I think of writing, in terms of play, it's definitely about putting words on the page, and not about finding the perfect words.  Often, when I write for fun, I'll give myself a limit (either time or word count), and that helps me let go of the idea of perfect.  And if you struggle to get ideas, there are tons of fun writing prompts out there, that will give you a little nudge and help you get started.  

And then there are tarot games!  These range from more traditional card games (either takes on solitaire or a trump taking kind of game) to more creative games (which might mimic RPG style games).  There are also lots of ways to gamify reading tarot cards, from pulling cards about your stuffed animals to trying to predict what will come next in a show you are watching.  You can draw cards as art/writing prompts, or simply have a conversation with a deck (drawing cards for it's response).

I think the biggest thing to keep in mind about magical play is that the play comes first.  Though I firmly believe that all of these activities can benefit our lives and our practice, the whole point is to have fun...the other benefits are icing on the play cake.  So when you engage in magical play, really let yourself play.  It's fine if you want to reflect after, but in the moment, try to just enjoy what you are doing.

I absolutely believe that play is necessary for happiness.  And we all have different definitions of what play is and how we find our fun.  So you might have to try a bunch of things, to find what really clicks for you, but it is SO worth it.  I encourage everyone to find ways to work play into their practice, and I think you will find that not only is it a lot of fun (which can help our mental health!), but I think you will be surprised to find that it deepens your practice without much effort...because it's play after all!