Lammas is around the corner, and it's a time of year when I always thing of generosity and bounty. And sometimes, especially when you don't have a lot, it can be hard to feel like you are embodying that generous spirit. Especially when we feel pushed (often by society) to 'give'...when we might not have enough ourselves. Navigating the line between generosity and your personal boundaries can be quite tricky!
I think the first step is always to start with an honest evaluation of where you are. Many of us feel like we are in a bad place, and obviously this is true for many of those people. But sometimes, we feel like we are in a place of want, and then when we actually sit down and take a personal accounting, we realize there are a lot of ways in which we have more than we thought we did.
And this (taking a personal accounting) can be a great way to recognize where in your life you have some extra. Maybe you like to cook in huge batches, and then get tired of it before you can eat it all...and perhaps you can invite friends over to share in your meals (not only helping them if they are struggling, but also saving you from having to eat the same thing for a week straight!).
But it also lets you become aware of any deficits. To continue the previous example, maybe you have a little garden and you got in a bumper crop of tomatoes. You talk it over with some friends and agree that they will drop off some other ingredients or bring side dishes, and you will make up a big batch of spaghetti or chili. Everyone can enjoy it, people can bring some home, but everyone can contribute what they can to the meal as well.
The important thing is to not fall into the trap of "other people have it worse so I should always give to someone who is worse off than me". This is where personal boundaries must be enforced. If I honestly am struggling to pay bills and buy the necessity stuff, then I might not be in a place to give money to a homeless person. Yes, they are absolutely worse off than me, but there are also a lot of people in the world worse off than me, and if I try to help them all, I will need help myself.
Instead, try to find the places where you can share a little. Maybe that means finding things that you don't need anymore and donating them to shelters or outreach programs. Maybe it means offering your time and labor to help in a community project. Maybe you can connect people who are in a position to help with those who need it.
Even if you have nothing physical to give, you may be able to share information. Help people in need find programs that will be able to help them. Pass along good articles on ways to stretch resources or upcycle things. When you find tips that work, save them and share them!
We tend to think of our harvest in a literal way. It is the stuff we have (money, food, items...stuff). But we are so much more than our stuff! We have compassion, we have love, we have understanding. Sometimes, what people need is simply to be treated like a person. They want to talk about what they are going through and they want someone to listen. They may not even want help (in the traditional sense), but might need a little compassion.
And even though we are talking about non-physical stuff, you still need to remember your boundaries! If you are already exhausted after taking care of your own life (you know: job, family, self-care), then you may not have energy to give. Or maybe you have time, but no emotional energy (or vice versa). Sometimes navigating your boundaries means negotiating different ways to help. Just remember that if you wear yourself out, you can't help anyone (especially yourself!)
Each and every one of us deserves to have enough. And when you have enough, you can start sharing the extra (and that includes both stuff and non-stuff). If we start thinking more like a community filled with individuals instead of just a bunch of people stuck in the same place together, it becomes easier to care about strangers...and when you care, you want to help!
So start by taking stock. See where you stand, where you lack and where you have extra. And talk to people! Start with those you know. See where your lacks and extras overlap. And then reach even further out. Think about what you have extra of and where that could help. If more of us approached life like this, just imagine the amazing world we could create!
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